This post does not contain the words "Nazem Kadri"

The Leafs ventured into Ottawa last night and emerged victorious in a back-and-forth game against the Sens. This morning, everybody is talking about you-know-who.

Me, I need a break from that circus.

The regular season is officially one week away. Here are 5 reasons to be optimistic (that have nothing to do with what's-his-name):

1. Nikolai Kulemin: The guy already has five goals this pre-season, or roughly a third of what he scored in 78 games last year. He's carrying the puck the way a protective tiger carries her cub. He seems invincible to one-on-one coverage. And he has a weird intensity in his eyes that says, "I am now comfortable in your land. Prepare to be dominated."

2. Phil Kessel: This off-season, he trained like a lunatic and it shows. Nobody has ever questioned Kessel's ability to bury the puck. He is a natural sniper. But now he has stamina. He seems to have lowered his centre-of-gravity. He is getting faster as the game goes on. Kessel is the engine that will power the Leafs this season and he is now firing on all cylinders.

3. Special teams: To be competitive, your power play and penalty killing need to balance out somewhere in the 13 to 15 spots. That is, if you have the worst PK in the league, your power play better damn well be near the top. Last night, the team went 3-for-9 on the power play and shut-down all of Ottawa's five extra-man chances. Fingers crossed.

4. Mike Brown: How has this guy managed to fly under the radar for most of his career? He has blazing speed. He is a serial penalty killer. He blocks shots with unflinching fearlessness. And when things get chippy, he isn’t afraid to shove his Fu Manchu into an opponent's chin. Brown is a classic "Bottom Six" forward in the Burke-Wilson parlance. His contributions this season could be invaluable.

5. Kris Versteeg: In a previous life, it's entirely possible Versteeg was a contortionist. When controlling the play, his body seems to violate all known physical laws. And he makes things happen for everybody around him. Going into last night's game, Versteeg was tied with Pittsburgh's Mike Comrie with 17 shots on goal. He didn’t play against Ottawa. Why?  He was collecting his Stanley Cup ring in Chicago. In other words, he can get it done and he knows what it takes.

What are you optimistic about?

PHOTO: DAVID COOPER/TORONTO STAR

Leafs Playlist: Songs For Winning

My giddy optimism suffered a minor blow yesterday when I walked past the Leafs' weight room and heard Toto.

Not the dog. Not the toilet. No, I am referring to these dapper musicians.

Don't misunderstand. "Africa" is a sweet song. It still gets played at weddings and dinner parties. It's been covered more than a dozen times over the past three decades and, truth be told, I once listened to it 48 times in a row.

But that was like in 1985. I was pre-pubescent, confused and lonely. More important, I was not a professional hockey player.

The Leafs take training very seriously. Anthony Belza, the team's strength and conditioning coach, customizes programs for every player. Not long ago, I saw Fredrik Sjostrom rehabbing his shoulder by extending a dumbbell while sprawled supine on the floor.

It made me wince.

You know why there's a towering wall of glass in the MCC gym? Because studies show athletes will work up to 20 per cent harder when they are bathed in natural light.

About a month ago, Mike Komisarek gave me a tour of the MCC dressing room. It is a state-of-the-art practice facility, the envy of other NHL general managers. From the stacks of free weights to the biorhythm-reading gadgets to a treadmill submerged in a cavernous water tank, everything about the room screams, "Let's get ready to rumble!"

Except Toto.

Now to be fair, I have no idea about how or why "Africa" was playing gently yesterday. It could have been an anomaly. Mind you, I’m pretty sure I also heard Poison's "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" a few minutes earlier.

What's next? REO Speedwagon? A medley of Peter Cetera ballads? What happens if Air Supply suddenly cascades through the corridors one morning and Colton Orr snaps and jumps in front of a Zamboni?

So I have compiled a special Leafs Playlist. Feel free to add or subtract from the following mix, picking songs that will inspire hard-work and victory. If this list expands into triple-digits, I might even buy* an iPod for the room as a present from Leafs Nation.

(*Pending official Toronto Star expense approval.)

 

Leafs Playlist:

1. "Welcome To The Jungle" – Guns N' Roses
2. "Neighborhood #2 (Laika)" – Arcade Fire
3. "More Than A Feeling" – Boston (See the comment below from Geoff Read. He's right.)
4. "Love Removal Machine" – The Cult
5. "Bohemian Like You" – The Dandy Warhols
6. "Long Train Runnin'" – The Doobie Brothers
7. "This Is A Call" – Foo Fighters   
8. "Bittersweet Dirt Off Your Shoulder" – Jay Z vs. The Verve
9. "See The Light" – The Jeff Healey Band
10. "All These Things That I've Done" – The Killers   
11. "Travelling Riverside Blues" – Led Zeppelin   
12. "Rollin" – Limp Bizkit
13. "Pay To Play" – Nirvana
14. "Too Young" – Phoenix           
15. "New World Man" – Rush

Please, just no more of this:

 

UPDATE (9:32 a.m.): Just got an email from Anthony Belza, the Leafs strength and conditioning coach. He writes:

Anyone’s iPod can be playing at any given time but Dion usually runs the stereo. If the team is in the gym, it's usually loud and songs get repeated often. By the time the guys are on the ice, the playlist is still running – I'm guessing that is what was happening when you were here.

I've heard of some obscure research suggesting music from the Baroque period is optimal for strength gains and that loud rock is detrimental. (Seriously.)
 I don't believe it nor have I bothered to check if this research really exists. When it's loud and the selection gets guys in a good state of mind, they enjoy the workout more and they train a little harder.

PHOTO: TARA WALTON/TORONTO STAR

The elusive "C" word

The Leafs beat Buffalo last night, giving the team a .500 pre-season record after six games. And with three exhibition games remaining, the "C" word is creeping into heavy rotation.

From the Associated Press:

"Kessel has netted four goals in three preseason games…  He has quickly found chemistry with linemates Tyler Bozak and Kris Versteeg."

From the National Post:

"Kessel scored on the powerplay and again at even strength in the first period. Off-season acquisition Kris Versteeg drew an assist on both goals, hinting at the chemistry that might develop on Toronto's top line, which featured Tyler Bozak at centre."

From the Canadian Press (via CBC):

"The Leafs sniper has scored four times in three pre-season games – five, if you include a goal that was incorrectly waved off in overtime last Friday – and seems to have found some chemistry with linemates Tyler Bozak and Kris Versteeg."

I was chatting with Dave Nonis, the Leafs senior vice-president of hockey operations. I asked him a simple question: "Going into the regular season, what keeps you up at night?"

He answered my question with three questions:

"Are your young players ready? Can you remain healthy? And are your acquisitions going to mesh together?"

Chemistry is the elusive variable in professional sport. Managers and coaches can study binders full of arcane stats. They can consult psychologists. They can match skill-sets. Hell, they break into NASA and use a super-computer to build predictive models about who should play together and why.

But as Nonis says with a deathly serious expression: "You don't know until you actually play games."

The roster that beat Buffalo last night is, for the most part, what we'll see come opening night. So the question becomes this: After so many personnel changes, after the team was dynamited, do the 2010-11 Toronto Maple Leafs have the right chemistry?

PHOTO: TARA WALTON/TORONTO STAR

The Leafs Memory Project

I was out with a friend the other night when he suddenly said, "You should try to do something like the Human Genome Project."

(Two caveats before we continue: 1. Neither of us have any formal training in genetics. 2. At this point in the evening, alcohol was a factor in our conversation.)

Prior to the Human Genome Project, we were brainstorming ideas for ALF B. We talked about what it means to be Leaf fan and how this identity must differ from fans of other NHL teams.

If you came of age in Edmonton during the 80s, for example, your head is no doubt jammed with glorious recollections. There's probably an entire part of your brain dedicated to storing Gretzky goals while another part handles sick Messier moves.

When you possess so many great memories, at some point, they begin to cancel each other out. Did Grant Fuhr stone Mike Bossy on a breakaway in overtime? What team did Marty McSorley challenge when he stormed the bench?

Now you can't remember.

Fortunately, Leaf fans don’t have this problem.

We grew up cheering so much for so little that when something spectacular did occur, it was relived for weeks at a time with no danger of being replaced by anything new. The event – a goal, hit, save, or fight – became a flashbulb memory. It was as if we were on the ice when it went down.

This is why when two Leaf fans meet for the first time, within five minutes one of them will say: "Hey, do you remember..."

Hey, do you remember the 1986 Norris Division semi-finals? A first-round, best-of-five series against Chicago? Vaive, Thomas, Fergus, Salming, Poddubny, Frycer and these Hounds?

They go into Chicago and steal the first two games. Now it's April 12. Game 3 in Toronto. A win and the Leafs advance to the next round.

I can still see Bob McGill putting a smackdown on Al Secord. I can still hear the crowd stand and roar when Bill Root goes lateral and flattens an attacking Hawk player with a bone-crunching check. With the help of a hypnotist, I could probably even tell you what kind of broom was tossed on the ice as the Leafs won 7-2 that night for the sweep.

So here's the plan.

Once the regular season starts on October 7, I want to start The Leafs Memory Project. Basically, this is what I need: Two or three paragraphs about your all-time favourite Leaf memory. If you know the specific date, that would be helpful. And if there's a related clip on YouTube, all the better.

"A database of powerful Leaf memories would be so cool," slurred my friend, possibly becoming the first person in history to use the words "database" and "cool" in the same sentence. "You could create a shared timeline of great events in the minds of Leaf fans!"

"What if nobody participates?" I asked.

"Well, then at least you have a blog post during the slow pre-season, right?"

Please send your memories to: vmenon@thestar.ca. I'll also need your real name and age.

This will be cool.

Okay. I'm off to buy new database software and a lab coat. I leave you with this memory:

 

 

UPDATE (9:51 p.m.): So the Leafs just beat the Sabres 5-4 at the ACC. Thank you for all of your emails and comments (even the smartass ones). Great anecdotes. Keep them coming because... The Leafs Memory Project is officially underway. After the regular season begins, I will begin posting your memories. Details to come.

Sunday Discussion: Can these two friends generate enough firepower?

The Leafs lost 3-1 to the Sabres last night. It was their fifth exhibition game in as many nights. Today, a breather. But with four games remaining until the big show begins, coach Ron Wilson says this much is clear: His top two lines will feature Tyler Bozak between Kris Versteeg and Phil Kessel, while Mikhail Grabovski will centre Clarke MacArthur and Nikolai Kulemin.

During the 90s, as the Leafs shed Ballard-era dysfunction the way a snake sheds its skin, fans were suddenly exposed to an unusual sight: The swirling red goal light behind the opposition net.

Three of those teams (92-93, 93-94 and 98-99) went on to the Conference Finals. And during the regular season, the top two scorers on all of those teams combined for at least 150 points.

Doug Gilmour (127 points) and Nikolai Borschevsky (74) put up 201 points in 92-93. Gilmour (111) and Dave Andreychuk (99) ratcheted up the total to 210 points the following season. And in 98-99, Mats Sundin (83) and Steve Thomas (73) led the attack with 156 points.

Granted, neither Kessel nor Bozak played full seasons last year. So the following comparison is flawed. Nevertheless, here’s the deal: They combined for 82 points. In fact, even if you add the 44 points Versteeg scored with the Hawks, the team's presumed top line is still under the 150 threshold with 126 points.

What does this mean? Maybe nothing. As Brian Burke told me recently: "We think we can manufacture offence by committee."

Is he right? Or is the committee still missing a critical member?

PHOTO: RENE JOHNSON/TORONTO STAR

Question: What is the most intimidating building in the NHL?

The Leafs fourth game in four nights ended with a 4-3 shootout loss to the Flyers. Mind you, Phil Kessel scored in overtime so it should have ended with a 4-3 win. The goal was wrongly waved off and there is no video replay in the pre-season, a fact nobody seemed to know.

The Leafs cross the border today to take on the Buffalo Sabres. According to this stateside report, the Leafs will face a roster of youngsters, including forwards Tyler Ennis and Nathan Gerbe. Tonight's game will be broadcast on Leafs TV.

I don't know. Maybe it's just me. But for some reason, Leaf games at Buffalo's HSBC Arena just don't crackle with the same intensity as they did inside the Buffalo Memorial Auditorium. The Aud, which opened in 1940 and closed in 1996, used to exude an almost intangible menace.

Is it possible to appreciate the amenities and sightlines inside our new multi-function sports complexes while still missing the old buildings? Maple Leaf Gardens was not a great place to watch hockey, at least not in the seats we could afford. But it had character and deranged charm, which is not something you can honestly say about the Air Canada Centre.

Those old buildings went up during the early to mid-20th century during an age of war and instability. They were inspired by the twin notions of "diversion" and "spectacle," and not, say, "corporate seating" and "maximum profits."

Good lord, when the Leafs ventured into Chicago Stadium, my brothers and I would turn down the volume on the TV and feel queasy. The building was combustible. The fans looked like they were frothing with murderous rage. The stands rattled, as if set upon a foundation of Jell-O. The organ player seemed borderline insane. The jarring foghorn that blasted after every Blackhawk goal, well, it haunts me to this day. (As does this bit of extended lunacy.)

Anyway, compared to Chicago Stadium, the United Center is about as threatening as an airport lounge. This brings us to today’s question: Going into the new season, what is the most intimidating building in the NHL?

When the Leafs are on the road, is there a rink that is so loud and disturbing, it actually provides our opponents with a home ice advantage? Is there an enemy rink that makes young Leaf fans feel queasy? Or are those days now gone?

PHOTO: RON BULL/TORONTO STAR

Nazem Kadri: Should he stay or should he go?

There was a time when Leafs prospects were rushed into the NHL the way celebrities are rushed into cordoned-off VIP rooms. Ready? Not ready? It really didn't matter. If you had promise, the team's desperate modus operandi was simple: Catapult you into the big league, hope for the best and then whistle nervously when you cracked like a walnut under pressure.

But things have changed.

For the first time in a long time, the Leafs have depth. So while the subtext in last night’s 3-2 win over the Flyers was the future of Nazem Kadri, the fact we're even wondering if he should stay or go is very good news indeed.

Just ask Allan Bester or Luke Richardson.

When Brian Burke was in Anaheim, the Ducks and their AHL affiliate at the time, the Portland Pirates, combined to play in 14 playoff series, more than any other organization. As Burke told me: "You have to have pressure from below. The guys have to be nervous about what's coming."

It doesn’t hurt that young players want to play in Toronto, something that wasn't always the case (just ask Craig Simpson).

Francois Allaire, the Leafs goaltending consultant, has helped guys like Patrick Roy and Jean-Sébastien Giguère backstop their way to Stanley Cup victories. Allaire's presence within the Leafs organization is important. Young goalies like Jussi Rynnas and Ben Scrivens signed with Toronto because they wanted to work with Francois.

As for Kadri, he scored in the shootout last night with a dazzling move, which was almost identical to this goal from 2009 preseason. He worked hard all summer. He gained weight. He focused on his defensive game. He did everything coaches and management asked.

But as Ron Wilson observed last night: "I don't think he's played up to the way he did last season."

There's still time for Kadri to earn a spot in the lineup before the season starts next month. But there’s no rush. And that's something every Leafs fan should be happy to hear.

PHOTO: DAVE CHIDLEY/CANADIAN PRESS

Can the Leafs dictate physical play this season?

So the split-squad Leafs played a much better game last night against Ottawa than Tuesday's yawn-a-thon. Not that any of this exhibition grind really matters.

Still, whether it was Mike Komisarek depositing Francis Lessard into the Leafs bench or Jay Rosehill pounding on David Hale or any of the occasional teeth-gnashing scrums, one thing was clear: The Leafs will be a much tougher team this season than they were two years ago.

"The biggest thing that struck me my first year here was the lack of respect that teams demonstrated toward us," GM Brian Burke told me recently. "I think our trainer was on the ice every night."

The addition of Colton Orr seemed to give the trainers a rest. This season, secondary toughness will come from several players, including Mike Brown, who Burke says can take care of business "when the big man (Orr) is in the box for 5 minutes."

But while Burke is pleased opposing teams seem less inclined to trash talk and face wash after every whistle, he still isn't satisfied.

"Last year we did not have an intimidation problem but we didn't dictate the physical play, which is what I like," says Burke. "That's what my teams have always done."

Can the Leafs dictate physical play this season? Should that even be a concern? Or should the team worry less about "pugnacity," "testosterone" "truculence" and "belligerence," and worry more about, say, "scoring" and "penalty killing"?

What do you think?

PHOTO: DAVID COOPER/TORONTO STAR

Pre-Season Game 1: The Battle Against Panic

Oh my God! The Leafs lost 5-0 to Ottawa last night! Let’s gather our torches, form a mob and burn the ACC to the ground!

Come on, people. This is exhibition play. And as the Star’s Paul Hunter mentions in this entertaining game story, “it’s foolhardy to draw sweeping conclusions based on exhibition play.”

Exactly.

It would’ve been great if the split-squad team in blue-and-white made a closer game of it. Especially since a corporate sponsor filled the stands with Real Fans, the kind of Real Fans who rarely gain entry into the ACC these days.

Me, I kind of lost interest after the Sens went up by 3 and retired to a darkened room to watch a loop of this. But before leaving, I jotted down a few things I learned last night:

* You know what tastes really good with Coca-Cola Zero when the Leafs have a two-man advantage? The stuff this dude makes.
* Apparently, Mike Brown has built a time machine and gone back to 1989 to steal Wendel Clark’s Fu Manchu.
* When Jussi Rynnas was a little boy growing up in Pori, Finland, during school plays he would always play a giant sequoia.
* Even if Chris Neil had no body and was just a floating head, it’d be awfully hard not to punch him in the face.
* When Bill Watters and Nick Kypreos go out for dinner, after one of them orders the other one automatically says, “I disagree.”
* The time has come for the NHL to ban Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” from rink playlists.

You know, if anything, I’m conflicted about the Leafs grueling preseason schedule. On the one hand, it does give the coaches a chance to tinker with line combinations and work on special teams (cough) and get a look-see at some of the younger guys.

But 9 games in 12 nights? That seems excessive, even with a large camp. One of the things that really screwed the team last year was injury. It would be utterly tragic if an important player was sidelined for a few weeks before the season begins.

Anyway, I leave you with this song:

 

Blue and white disease: Is the pandemic over?

 

So I wrote this feature for the Star, about Brian Burke's war on "blue and white disease." On Sunday, I was chatting with Dave Poulin, the Leafs vice-president of hockey operations, and the topic was broached. He shared an anecdote about visiting Toronto as a member of the Philadelphia Flyers:

“We played against some bad Leaf teams here in the 1980s. And there was a sense of entitlement that came with the jersey, that came with the city. We would watch them skate in the morning skate and you would think they had won 9 Stanley Cups in a row. They’d be skating around without their helmets on. They had toothpicks, hair slicked back, turtlenecks on."

"Then what happened during the game?" I asked, without really wanting to hear the answer. "Would the Flyers go out and spank my team?"

“7-1," he replied. "You know, and we'd win 4 fights.”

Depressing.

So is it over? Has Burke found 20 guys who want to win as much as he does? Or will the market realities and distractions in this hockey-mad town eventually bring back the toothpicks and turtlenecks?

By the way, I shot the above picture on Saturday afternoon. It's Burke standing in his "War Room" at the MCC. Inspired by the NFL, The Wall lets Burke and his lieutenants see every player on every team at every position. As a colleague noted: "It's so analogue."

That it is. But with a passing glance, Burke can see which team is deep or thin at any position. When contemplating a trade, this perspective can (and has) made a big difference. (TRIVIA: Burke's record for staring at The Wall is 3 hours.)

PHOTO: VINAY MENON/TORONTO STAR