A desperate plea, from me to you

As the Leafs trek to Florida this week for a road trip, I took a sidewalk trip this morning and went for a long stroll before work.

The iPod was cranking out a bittersweet playlist of Beach House, Broken Bells, The Middle East and Band of Horses. And in the darkness, as I ambled forth in my ridiculously puffy vest, I couldn't stop thinking about some of your weekend comments.

After the Buffalo fiasco, Denial, Pyramid Power and Hoofheartz all top-lined the same bottom line: Farewell, Toronto Maple Leafs. You are now dead to us.

To quote from Denial's poetic epiphany:

And then, after it was all done, and I sat in a dull, lukewarm stasis that I've come to know very well as Post-Leaf-Game-Syndrome (or PLGS), I arrived at a happy place.

I don't know how I got there. Or maybe I didn't go anywhere, and it just came to me. Or maybe we met half way – though don't ask me to show you the way.

But the last tumbler clicked. The lock opened, and out of it emerged a peace of mind that said, gently and calmly: you may now stop watching Leaf games.

It was wonderful. It was LIBERATING. It wasn't an angry, stomping out of the room "I'm never going to follow this @!*&#$ team again." We all know that the momentum that takes us away in those moments quickly turns around and we find ourselves in the same old, same old. I mean, we've all quit drinking -- permanently -- after bowing before the porcelain god at 4 am, wondering why beer tastes better coming out than going in. But we know that this kind of "quitting" doesn't work.

I am not quitting the Leafs. I am simply done. My tenure is over.

I am a free man.

Next, Pyramid Power – one of ALF B’s most prolific commenters and a Leafs fan who is following this team while living in China – jumped into the thread to announce his departure:

Washing my hands of the Leafs is truly a liberating feeling. I too am free. Thank you to the Toronto Maple Leafs. I have cleansed myself of thee. I have my life back, and it feels fantastic. Amen.

Then responding to Denial and Pyramid Power, Hoofheartz added:

Can you imagine if all TML fans were as fed up as PP and Denial? The shockwaves would reverberate through the ACC and maybe, just maybe an end would come to the pain of being a TML fan. The first step to recovery is admitting there is a problem, so even though BB doesn't read this blog, he has my solemn pledge that there will be no more Leafs for me until at the very least, that most useless of all coaches has been dispatched to any ECHL backwater you can name. Aaahhhh, that is liberating.

All this liberation left me feeling very caged. And so a desperate plea, from me to you: Don't leave!

People, misery loves company and I don't want to be miserable alone. If you guys start burning your passports and defect from Leafs Nation now, how will I make it to April? Hell, how will I make it to January?

So as the Leafs prepare for their excursion in the Sun Belt, let's try to look on the bright side. You know, technically, um, this team has picked up points in 8 of 13 games this season! Despite the hideous slide of late, they are still, hang on, a .500 team!

But let's forget about stats for a minute.

Moe Green posted another thoughtful comment this weekend. His provocative theory, more or less, is that, "Burke's a guy who talks a good game but really could care less about the franchise, the city or its fans."

With great respect, this is the one time I must disagree with Moe.

I can tell you, with some personal certainty, that this losing streak is gnawing at Burke's intestines. He wants to win. And he loves this city. Before the season even started, he told me Toronto is where he and his wife want to settle down after retiring.

On another occasion, he said this about Toronto:

"You are talking about one of the great cities in the world. So you can look at this as a crushing pressure-cooker or an opportunity. A player that wins a scoring title here can run for mayor when he's done playing.

"I have the greatest job in hockey. Right now people might say it might be the worst job in hockey – the pressure, the media. But I have the greatest job in hockey because I view it as an opportunity. The guy that wins a Stanley Cup here, the GM, they will name schools after him."

I bumped into Burke after the Florida game. The Leafs had just won but he looked like bloody hell. He was distracted. His eyes were glazed. His visage was so unsettling I actually asked if he was ill.

He later told me he just trying to "gear down." Win or lose, the games are so emotionally draining that he turns into a walking zombie for a couple of hours afterwards.

Another time, at lunch, he was on his blue BlackBerry and his face suddenly got as red as a nearby painting. He muttered a string of obscenities and later said, "Changing a culture is the hardest thing to change."

Make of this what you will.

If you're not buying what he's saying, that's your prerogative. If you're fed up with the perennial emotional slingshot that starts with guarded optimism and ends with bitter disappointment, well, I actually understand.

But from my perspective – and, yes, take this with a large grain of salt because I have to stick with the Leafs this season – I believe things will get better. I do. That is, I don't believe Burke will just wallow in the putrid mediocrity we have witnessed over the past nine games.

So the question becomes: Will this team turn things around quickly enough or will the mass exodus from Leafs Nation become the defining hallmark of the 2010-2011 season?

PHOTO: VINAY MENON/TORONTO STAR

 

When losing feels like a kick in the face

Good morning, Leafs Nation. And welcome to... A Leafs Fan Drinks.

I hope you remembered to turn back your clocks. Me, I've already blown my extra hour of daylight savings time trying to purge last night's horrific spectacle from my long-term memory.

Seriously, what the hell was that?

It's not just losing to Buffalo that stings like malt vinegar on a head wound. It's the way this team rolled over and died: No energy. No drive. No purpose.

We could probably analyze game tape and come up with 50 different questions about defensive coverage or the lack of transition or the fact nobody is passing the puck anymore.

But here are two questions that are driving me batty this morning:

1. Who Abducted Phil Kessel?

In his first 8 games, the guy was on fire: 7 goals, 2 assists, 3.5 shots per game. Then he went to Boston on October 28 to play against his former team and Tyler Seguin. While in Beantown, apparently, the real Phil Kessel was abducted at gunpoint and the Leafs are now dressing an imposter.

In the last five games – or 38 per cent of the season thus far – this Fake Phil Kessel has scored 0 goals, assisted on 0 goals and given Leaf fans 1 million causes for concern.

It's as if Fake Phil Kessel is skating in quicksand. He's not getting open, not getting quality chances. His shots-per-game average has dipped under 3. He's tripping over phantom obstacles. He's ragging the puck and turning it over or making low-percentage passes on the power play.

This is crazy. When will the real Phil Kessel return?

2. Why was Nikolai Kulemin missing from the shootout?

Okay, we mucked-up a 2-0 goal lead at home. We let the lowly Sabres even this snoozefest of a game with 13 seconds left in the third.

Granted, all of this is stunning. But here's what I find even more stunning than all of this: Ron Wilson did not use Nikolai Kulemin in the shootout.

I mean, what? He has three goals in the last three games. Right now, he's easily the most dangerous Leaf in the offensive zone. I know this is like saying he's the tallest man at a little people convention but still.

He can pick corners and deke. He's fast. He can trick a goalie using nothing more than his shifty eyes. In other words, he's exactly the kind of guy you want in a shootout.

What am I missing? Is there some technical reason Kulemin was not one of the first three Leafs shooters, if not the first?

Sigh.

Tomorrow is another day, people. Tomorrow is another day. This is what I keep teling my bottle of Grey Goose.

PHOTO: FRED THORNHILL/REUTERS

Game 13: The darkness is upon us

I will be brief tonight.

The worst team in the NHL just stumbled into the ACC and: 1. Started an unknown goalie. 2. Came back from a 2-0 deficit. 3. Scored with 13 seconds left in the third. 4. Won the game in a shootout.

Goodnight. Don't forget to turn your clocks back 43 years.

PHOTO: DAVID COOPER/TORONTO STAR

Game Day: A crucial win and the return of a familiar voice

Let's not mince words: The Leafs must win tonight.

They must beat the struggling Sabres, who are off to a dreadful 3-9-2 start and currently reside in the Eastern basement. They must grab two points against a team that will be without the mind-boggling, puck-stopping services of one Ryan Miller.

Not that it will be easy.

Buffalo has dominated Toronto in recent times, including taking 8 of the last 9 games at the ACC. Like a house fire in Cheektowaga, the Sabres have crackled and raged, smoking up the score and burning the Leafs night after night.

But with your indulgence, I'd like to talk about something else this morning.

When the puck drops, there will be a familiar voice in the enemy broadcast booth, a voice that breathed humour and insight into Leafs Nation for more than two decades.

It's been three years since Harry Neale left Toronto for Buffalo. And while this isn't a knock against anybody else, well, I still miss Harry.

I miss the way he made Joe Bowen unravel into turbo-charged bursts of laughter at least once a game. I miss his vivid similes and deranged metaphors. I miss the pitch-perfect chemistry he shared with Bob Cole during the late 80s and 90s.

Win or lose – and it was usually lose – Harry was a reliable beacon when Leaf fans felt lost at sea. On some nights, he was the best part of a game. Listening to Harry was like listening to an old friend who always jumped in at the right moment with the right words.

Anyway, since we can no longer hear him, I thought it would be nice to at least read him. I jotted down a few questions for our old friend and he was kind enough to reply. (Thanks to the Sabres' Chris Bandura for facilitating this on late notice.)

Q: Is there a memory that stands out from your time in Toronto?

"After my first game that I did, they asked me back to do another game. I didn't know why they did, but that is probably the biggest highlight! I do remember one time in Detroit, it was April Fool's. Midway through the second period, Joe Bowen ran out of the booth and said he was going to be sick and I had to take over the play-by-play duties. So for the rest of the period I had to handle both. When it was over, I looked behind me and Joe was standing with a producer and a stats guy laughing away, watching me sweat it out. That was a pretty funny memory. I think I did okay that night."

Q: What's the difference between Buffalo and Toronto fans?

"Buffalo fans are, I think, louder and more enthusiastic. I think the reason for this is that for many nights you have a decent amount of fans of the opposing team in the building. They really challenge the Buffalo fans to make noise. In Toronto, everyone in the building seems to be a Leafs fan."

Q: Is there anything you miss about Toronto?

"I miss the people I worked with there over the years. Everyone really knew their job and were great at it. I miss the guys and gals who work on the broadcast in the trucks and people like Joe Bowen and Mark Askin. They were a pleasure to work with and I learned a lot from them."

Q: What would it take to get you back?

"It would take a lot to get me back! For one, I don’t miss the traffic on the QEW. It is great to work where I live and I enjoy who I work with here. You should never say never but... probably never!"

Q: What’s your assessment of this current Leafs team?

"Better than last year and I can see what Brian Burke is doing to build a more complete team. He has firmed up the goaltending and defensive core. The forwards are the next group he is working on. The team is moving in the right direction. I'm not sure if they are a playoff team just yet, but they have made the right moves to be right in the mix. The need in my mind is to add some depth to the offensive side of things."

PHOTO: CBC PUBLICITY

Guest Post: An MLSE conspiracy theory

 

What If Winning It All Means Losing Fans?

BY BRIAN KALLION

 

There's been a lot of talk recently about Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment. Specifically, is winning or profit their goal? But I would like to propose another theory: Fear is a large motivator (or de-motivator) in the thinking of MLSE.

Any of us over 30 remembers the great Blue Jays run of the 80s and early 90s, culminating in the last major championship seen around these parts. All of my friends say the same thing: The strike of 1994 killed their interest in baseball. But I would say the '92 and '93 championships were strike one and two, if you will.

We were all about the thrill of the chase and dropped out once the chase was over.

I think MLSE will always be a bit nervous about seeing the same kind of success befalling them. Are we die-hard Leaf fans or are we just hanging on for the thrill of the chase? Maybe we won't stop being fans but I think the nature of our fandom would change significantly if the Leafs won it all.

I wouldn't be surprised to see the season ticket renewal rate drop drastically. Even if others jumped in to fill the void, would it be a stretch to suggest that the season ticket waiting list gets cut in half? And what about TV ratings and merchandise sales? Something would change there too.

Of course, there's no way to confirm or deny this theory until the Leafs actually do win. However, what I'm saying is nobody really knows what a post-Cup Toronto would be like.

Leaf fans have lived through years of drought and we can't say what we would do if it started to rain. So maybe MLSE, on some level, fears this unknown. Maybe they fear the potential of a drastically different attitude coming from their fans. Maybe this is also why they will do everything they can to prevent a second team in this market – another big unknown for them.

So the company will continue to walk a fine line between (measured) success and failure, knowing this will keep our attention at status quo. At this point, all we as fans can hope for is that Brian Burke doesn't subscribe to this theory and that he has the autonomy to hopefully drag this team and its fans into the great unknown.

 

Brian Kallion is a Toronto-born and raised IT worker and cat lover.  He lives a stone's throw away from the ACC but unfortunately faces the wrong direction.

 

 

MAIN IMAGE: SHUTTERSTOCK

Game 12: When a loss feels like a win

Losing doesn't usually feel so inspiring.

But when the shootout in Washington ended, when the Leafs wobbled home on the wrong side of a 5-4 final score, I was reminded of a quote from American poet Edwin Markham: "Defeat may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out."

Yes, the Leafs lost last night. No, it wasn't a complete loss.

Before venturing into the inhospitable Verizon Center, the visitors could have packed all kinds of excuses into their carry-on luggage.

Earlier in the day, they learned captain Dion Phaneuf would miss four to six weeks after suffering a deep leg laceration. They were playing back-to-back games. And they were about to face-off against the Capitals, an early Cup favourite and team that's as explosive as a box of firecrackers in the sun.

The odds were not good.

But at 14:29 of the first, Toronto surprised everybody and scored first.

After Clarke MacArthur and Mikhail Grabovski scavenged for control along the boards, after Carl Gunnarson pinched smartly, Nikolai Kulemin grabbed the puck, waited, deked a sprawling defender, spun around and flipped it past goaltender Michal Neuvirth.

It was Kulemin's second goal in as many games.

The Caps didn't get to the front porch very often in the first, thanks in part to solid defensive plays by Luke Schenn, Brett Lebda and Francois Beauchemin. And when they did, Jonas Gustavsson closed the door.

Then in the second, oh Lord, someone ignited the firecrackers.

Within 5 minutes and 23 seconds, the Caps scored three unanswered goals, the first on the power play. Suddenly, the game conjured memories of blowouts past. Suddenly, it looked like an ugly runaway in the making.

Cue the third period inspiration.

At 4:14, Mike Brown deflected a Tomas Kaberle shot for his first goal of the season.

At 5:02, Kris Versteeg was sent in alone and went five-hole.

At 7:17, Tyler Bozak jumped on a rebound and wristed the puck into the open side.

In three minutes and three seconds, the Leafs had taken an improbable lead. Suddenly, the game conjured memories of comebacks past. Suddenly, it looked like a magical victory in the making.

Alas, it was not to be.

After Colton Orr's game-winning tally against Florida, in which the refs missed his goaltender interference, I vowed not to complain about officiating until at least Christmas. So I won't say the Leafs received some marginal calls last night, including one that resulted in a power play goal to catapult the game into overtime.

What I will say is this: The Leafs played hard and they did not give up. They earned a point that may prove more valuable than it now seems if this team finds itself in a dogfight for a playoff spot down the road.

It was a gutsy team effort, one that felt more like a catharsis than a defeat.

From the Monster diving across the crease to make an unbelievable stick save late in the second period to Tim Brent courageously throwing his body in front of an Ovechkin slapshot in overtime, the Leafs exhibited grit and determination in pursuit of victory.

"Energy personified!" thundered TSN's always calm Pierre McGuire, after the third period outburst. (I'm not sure that even makes sense but I was inclined to agree.)

Going into a shootout against Washington is like going into a decorating contest against Martha Stewart: There is no shame in losing. This is especially true when you get to that shootout after overcoming a 3-1 deficit in the third, on the road, against a team that can run-and-gun with the best of 'em.

So despite extending their winless streak, the Leafs should feel good about the way they have played over the past 48 hours. If they can maintain this intensity, if they can get some scoring from all four lines and some acrobatic heroics between the pipes, it's only a matter of time until the winning returns.

***

LEAFS TICKET CONTEST: Whoops. I forgot to mention this yesterday. The Star is running a… haiku contest? Yup, that's what the Urgent Memo says. I know, right? It sounds a bit weird but whatever.

Here's the important part: If you author the winning haiku, you win tickets to an upcoming Leafs game at the ACC. Your 5/7/5 syllabic creation needs to focus on "Phaneuf's injury and the Leafs' current losing streak."

Here, I just thought of one: "Squawk, captain is cut / Blood in the sock of our dreams / Get well Rooster Hair!"

Follow this link for more details and to post your entry.

PHOTO: JOE GIZA/REUTERS

Game 11: Have we finally hit rock bottom?

A strange thing happened last night: The Leafs restored my faith.

I can hear you, okay? I can hear you groaning and slapping your forehead and laughing and saying, "Is this guy a complete tool?"

The Leafs lost! The Leafs lost to Ottawa on home ice! They should have won! Dion Phaneuf was transported to hospital on a stretcher!

Yes, yes, yes and yes.

But amid this compounding, enveloping gloom – 6 losses in 7 games, a death-spiral in the standings – there were reasons to be optimistic:

* Mikhail Grabovski was skating like he did during the pre-season. He picked up an assist, nailed the crossbar once, was stoned another time and created several chances.

* Ottawa did not score an even strength goal and in each successive period they were held to fewer and fewer shots.

* Nikolai Kulemin was a towering presence with and without the puck. He scored the first goal, jumped on turnovers, cycled, screened and looked engaged in a way he hasn't since things went off the rails.

* The Leafs did not wave a white flag when Ottawa jumped ahead by three and the ACC devolved into a hissing mausoleum.

* J.S. Giguere, absolutely atrocious on the penalty shot goal by Mike Fisher, made three clutch saves during the second half, allowing his team climb back into the game. Prior to last night, he had not made any clutch saves during the losing streak.

* Clarke MacArthur scored his 7th goal of the season and picked up an assist. His expression after the goal suggested a very large monkey had been removed from his back.

* In something that's unusual for any team on any given night, every single skater on the Leafs registered at least one shot on net. To a man, this team was determined to score a freaking goal.

* During the last 10 minutes of the game, the Leafs looked relaxed and confident despite the score and despite the looming threat of another loss.

Now, look. I'm not here to make excuses or sound delusional. Any professional hockey team that goes 167 minutes and 49 seconds between goals has serious issues to resolve. So while there were reasons to be optimistic, there were also reasons to be concerned.

The Leafs lost last night because of their special teams in the first two periods. Phil Kessel was a non-entity. The new lines are still not clicking.

But here's the most important lesson from this losing streak: The Leafs are not getting blown out. They are not losing games by 7-1 scores. They are not even getting beat in territorial play. With the exception of Philadelphia, they could have beat any of these teams.

So is it possible the team's problems are "fixable," as Ron Wilson said last night. Is it possible this team, filled with new players, gripped by a new "culture," simply needs a bit of time to gel and find the right on-ice chemistry?

In short: Have we finally hit rock bottom?

After the Leafs won four straight, I worried about troubling signs. Now the opposite holds true: They're losing and I suddenly feel a surge of hope.

In fact, here's a bold and possibly foolish prediction: The Leafs will play their best game of the season tonight and win in Washington.

PHOTO: CARLOS OSORIO/TORONTO STAR

Brian Burke: "We don't pay coaches to score goals."

Good morning, Leafs Nation. And welcome to... A Leafs Fan Frets.

I will be your fretter-in-chief, your one-man fret machine. Join me. Let us fret together as our beloved baffling Leafs – now with one win in their past 6 games – toy with our hopes and dreams.

The good news: Toronto is only 4 points away from top spot in the East. The bad news: Toronto is only 4 points away from bottom spot in the East.

Leafs Nation, buoyed by a magical start this season, was such a blissful place to inhabit in early October. You'd walk around town and cross paths with someone in a blue-and-white jersey and it was smiles and high-fives.

"The boys look good this year, don't they?"

"Absolutely! Speed, passing, goaltending – we've got it all!"

Now we fret.

Last year, around this time, fans blamed the players for the team's appalling start. But most of those players were shipped out of town. So now fans are glancing around and pointing fingers elsewhere.

My inbox is jammed with indignant notes calling for the head of Ron Wilson. To wit: "It's time to fire the coach!" "We need a new coach!" "The coach is the problem!"

So I asked Brian Burke about all of this. His response this morning was brief and firm:

"We don't pay coaches to score goals. Our offensive players need to pick it up, and in a hurry. A coaching change has not even been considered, let alone discussed."

So what's the solution? Nazem Kadri? More trades? Experimenting with new lines? Forcing the entire team to read this 1,000 times before bedtime?

The Leafs most complete, most dominating game this season was against Ottawa, their opponent tomorrow night at the Air Canada Centre.

If Toronto can rekindle the magic, our record improves to a respectable 6-4-1. If not, the fretting shall intensify.

PHOTO: COLIN MCCONNELL/TORONTO STAR