20 Gift Ideas For Leaf Fans

Looking forward to tonight's big game and The Return of Dion? Excellent.

Me, I have the Star's Christmas party to attend this evening. And if the past is a reliable guide, there probably won't be a television nearby (it would get in the way of the political indoctrination and random headlocks).

Come to think of it, there probably won't be another Leaf fan nearby.

So I should probably hatch an escape plan before jumping in a cab. Or I could stay all night, drink beyond my two-free-drinks, exchange small talk with colleagues and check my iPhone for game updates from Pyramid Power, Moe Green and everybody else.

What to do.

In the interim, and with Christmas around the corner, here* are 20 Gift Ideas For Leaf Fans...

(*If you hate this post, please don't tell me because it took me like 156 hours to do, which was 154 hours longer than I expected. And now my entire day is shot... Merry Christmas!)

 

GIFT NO. 1: Toronto Maple Leafs Toaster
PRICE: $39.99 (External link.)

Next time you have overnight guests, they may seriously think about jumping out a window when you present them with a plate of scrambled eggs and "ProToast." But who cares. This damn thing burns a Leafs logo into your bread! It turns breakfast into a tailgate party. It turns a normal sandwich into a... Leafswich.

 

 

 

 

 

GIFT NO. 2: Toronto Maple Leafs Cuckoo Clock
PRICE: $199.99 (External link.)

When does the game start? Why don't your friends visit anymore? Now you can answer both of these questions at once just by glancing at this handsome timepiece. Featuring a rich walnut finish, a goalie pendulum (you can pretend it's Jiggy or Goose), "hockey stick detailing" and a helmet-wearing bird that announces the time. Unlike Lebda, this clock will never disappoint you.

 

GIFT NO. 3: "Mustache & Giant Tongue" Dog Toys
PRICE: $10 each (External link.)

Now Rex and Sparkles can do their best impressions of Mike Brown (left) and Colton Orr (right).

 

GIFT NO. 4: Toronto Maple Leafs Window Valance
PRICE: $29.99 (External link.)

The days are getting shorter. Your curtains are closed for longer periods. So when sitting alone and dreaming about the playoffs, why not stare at a unique décor item that's probably not endorsed by Martha Stewart (or any Martha for that matter). Do the neighbours know you are a Leafs fan? They will now with this screen-printed Leafs window valance! In fact, they may never stop pointing at your house again!

 

 

GIFT NO. 5: Chill Pill Ice Cubes 
PRICE: $5.95 (External link.)

It's been a season of ups and downs. The Leafs just won four games in a row! The Leafs are... 8 point out of a playoff spot. To get you through the next 52 games, why not drop these reusable blue and white (and red, for the goal light) ice cubes into your triple vodka? You get nine per set, or three per period.

 

 

 

 

 

GIFT NO. 6: Wooden Abacus (10 Rows)
PRICE: 19.99 (External link.)

Is the Leaf fan in your life tired of staring at stats on a computer screen? Is he looking for a fun and unique new way to calculate "games on hand" and "magic numbers"? To symbolize 43 long years of Stanley Cup drought, give your Leafs-loving loved one the gift of an ancient calculation device. Even if he never learns to use it, the sliding balls will provide important relaxation whenever Bill Watters appears on TV to trash Phil Kessel.

 

 

 

GIFT NO. 7: LED Faucet Light
PRICE: $19.99 (External link.)

Like the toaster, this thing is just damn cool. Really? We Leaf fans can now fill our water glasses under a blue light? Incredible. And on nights when things aren't going particularly well, the blue light will provide special illumination as we fumble around for a hand towel after throwing that glass of water in your own faces!

 

 

 

GIFT NO. 8: Woven Blanket
PRICE: $47.99 (External link.)

Let's say you want to put a jinx on the opposition goalie. Let's say you want to create karmic forces that are all about bad goals, lots of them. Let's say you want to ironically inflict the name of a man who is synonymous with puck non-stopping at its best. And let's say you want to do all of this while keeping warm. People, may I present the "Toronto Maple Leafs Vesa Toskala Triple Woven Jacquard 48x60 Blanket."

 

 

GIFT NO. 9: Hunter Toronto Maple Leafs Mug-Stein-Shot Glass Fan Set
PRICE: $29.99 (External link.)

If the first 30 games are any indication, you should probably buy three or four of these drinking sets for the Leafs fan in your life. And maybe throw in some gift certificates to this place.

 

 

 

 

GIFT NO. 10: Touch by Alyssa Milano Toronto Maple Leafs Ladies Navy Blue Double Layered Premium Tri-Blend V-neck T-shirt
PRICE: $31.95 (External link.)

Not much to say here except this: Alyssa Milano is modeling a Leafs shirt!

 

 

 

 

 

 

GIFT NO. 11: Sony Noise-Cancelling Foldable Headphones
PRICE: $49.99 (External link.)

Will Dion Phaneuf get booed tonight in Calgary? If you had these, you wouldn't have to find out.

(If only such a product existed when Larry Murphy was here and the Leafs were playing in Pittsburgh or Washington.)

 

 

 

 

GIFT NO. 12: Fundex Toronto Maple Leafs Rubik's Cube
PRICE: $18.99 (External link.)

Hey, look, Ron Wilson just called a time-out. Uh oh. There's a problem with the glass. Well, looks like we're switching goalies. From now on, whatever the game delay, you can keep yourself occupied with this one-of-a-kind Leafs Rubik's Cube. Best of all: It will make you smart enough to read the lips of Mikhail Grabovski and Nikolai Kulemin when they're on the bench and complaining to each other about Clarke MacArthur's excessive post-goal hugging.

 

 

  

GIFT NO. 13: Coleman Camping Iron
Price: $19.18 (External link.)

Two words: Portable waffles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

GIFT NO. 14: Toronto Maple Leafs Game Hero Custom Sports CD
PRICE: $19.95 (External link)

For the Leaf fan who dreams about leading the Leafs to a Game 7 victory in the Stanley Cup finals. This 10-minute CD will make "anyone a star" by inserting his or her name into the fictional play-by-play. It also features "fist pumping sound effects and cool music" that’s "so realistic you won't believe your ears." Really, you won't.

 

 

 

 

 

GIFT NO. 15: Toronto Maple Leafs Sidelines Pillow
PRICE: $25.76 (External link.)

Oh my God! The Leafs were losing 4-0. But now it’s 4-3! And they’re pressing like crazy! This could be another miraculous comeback! On nights like this, instead of destroying your home with hard and dangeous objects, this branded throw pillow will lend itself to spontaneous punches of joy, kicks of excitement, flings of happiness and squishes of victory.

 

 

  

GIFT NO. 16: Bull Horn Speaker Unit With Remote Microphone
PRICE: $189.00 (External link.)

The Leafs are playing pretty good hockey these days. But you know it's just a matter of time until we're all screaming at our television sets again. With this blue-and-white megaphone, now Leaf fans can REALLY BE HEARD. And it comes with a remote microphone. I said, IT COMES WITH A REMOTE MICROPHONE. So now you can set the megaphone on a table in the living room and still yell at the TV when you're getting your blue ice cubes from the kitchen: "KABERLE, YOU IDIOT! YOU'RE ON THE POWER PLAY! NOBODY IS AROUND YOU! SHOOT THE PUCK ALREADY!"

 

GIFT NO. 17: Giant Feather Tickler
PRICE: $5.99 (External link.)

This gift may look like it's for cats. But it's really for any Leaf fan with season tickets behind the bench. Here's what we need you to do: 1. Lean over the glass and jam this giant tickler under one of Ron Wilson's arms. 2. Move it around real quick 3. Check to see if he's smiling. 4. Repeat until security escorts you from the building. 5. Try again next game.

 

 

 

 

GIFT NO. 18: Blue Charm (For Good Luck)
PRICE: $6.00 (External link.)

Look at this thing. It's an "eye ball" charm that "can be hung from rearview mirrors, put on a cord or necklace, hung in your house or used in many other ways." And it's called the "Nazar Boncugu," which sounds suspiciously like the “Nazem Beauchemin.”

Everybody inside Leafs Nation needs to get one of these right now. I don't want to be the only one. It's kind of scaring me.

 

 

GIFT NO. 19: 3-Point Rink Rat Hat
PRICE: $39.95 (External link.)

From the marketing copy: "Choosing Maple Leafs headwear can be challenging at the best of times. Whether it is that spectacular Maple Leafs cap for a special occasion, or a beanie to just keep your head and ears warm on a winter day, you have to get it just right." I don't know about that. What I do know is this: If you're visiting an enemy rink to cheer for the Leafs this winter, this hat will tell rowdy locals that you are: a) possibly mentally unstable so, b) have fun and enjoy the extra elbow room!

 

 

GIFT NO. 20: Toronto Maple Leafs Golf Putter
PRICE: $114.99 (External link.)

I hope the Leafs will be playing hockey this spring when the golf courses start to open. No, I pray they will be playing hockey. I do.

 

But just in case...

 

 

Comments

[Ken Baumgartner]

Does Alyssa Milano come with the shirt? I'll take two.

VM Replies: I'll ask her next time we go antiquing.

[Kolchak]

Damn, I wish you'd posted this sooner. I want that toaster but they're sold out!

VM Replies: Sold out? This is an outrage! I also planned to get one this weekend. Sorry for not getting this up sooner.

[red5]

The 156 hours are worth it to find the pic of Alyssa Milano in a Leafs shirt.

VM Replies: I found another picture of Tia Carrere in a Leafs jersey. Alas, this is a family newspaper.

[Pyramid Power]

Political indoctrination at a Star brewhaha sic? Nah! No way. Headlocks aplenty I would imagine. Watch out for Rosie though, she's a tough grizzled scrapper. And superb drinker I hear. And a Leafs fan.

Find a corner to enjoy the game in at about 9:35 Vinay, and make good use of the items listed in Gift #9.

Aulie in tonight. Very happy about that. Adrenaline likely to be sky high for Phaneuf tonight, hope he just plays his game and does not get it into his head that he is Bobby Orr like he used to and start rushing the puck. Just hit people Dion, hit the net with your shot, play defensively responsible and everyone is happy.

Very glad Wilson is going to run with Giggy. He has the hot hand now. Gotta have this one as it will allow us to move to one game under .500 with another huge game coming up against Vancouver.

Our Western guys should have huge games again here. And all our ex-Flames. Look for Versteeg who is from Lethbridge just down the road from Calgary to pot a couple tonight. Hope Sjostrom who played junior with the Calgary Hitmen and then with the Flames has a big game and scores one or two. OK, OK, just murder penalties okay Freddie?

Hope Kiprusoff does not have a big game and old friends Matt Stajan and Nik Hagman don't hurt us. Poor Stajan. ONE goal in his last 43 games as a Flame. OUCH! No wonder Sutter sat him in the previous two games. Playing tonight though.

We are one game over .500 since the Phaneuf, Aulie, Sjostrom theft by BB last Jan. 31st. 25-24-7. Let's up that record tonight and win this for Dion's dearly departed grandmother.

GO LEAFS GO! GO LEAFS GO! Hope to hear that chant a lot tonight.

Cheers Vinay and to everyone here! Great debate on the previous blog. Am in favour of challenge flags, two per game, no touch icing and lots and lots of fighting no matter the circumstances. That is all.

[Pyramid Power]

WHO is Alyssa Milano? Check that. Does it matter?

Beautiful women in Leaf gear. Does it get any better than that?

VM Replies: No, it doesn't. I think she designed those shirts (for a bunch of teams). But I'm not positive. Listen, this may be my last communication for a while (I can't reply to comments on iPhone). I'm relying on you to keep me informed tonight.

[Pyramid Power]

@We BeLeaf Gift #15 perfect for you my Leaf loving comrade. Keep your home intact.

I am going to try to keep my marriage intact by purchasing my wife Gift #11 so my screams of joy, and howls of angst, anger and pain during Leafs games don't demolish our marital bliss. The poor lady cannot take much more. Neither can my throat, lungs and mental stability. I might need Gift #19 on that note.

[Pyramid Power]

Brother Menon: you can rely on me.

Updates will be flowing in beleaf me. Now get drinking and enjoy yourself man. You deserve it after this fantastic blog.

Cheers!

[We BeLeaf]

Hey PP! You got that right brother! I would need a few of those at least! When I saw gift # 8 I almost fell out of my chair in laughter and thought of you my friend! I said to myself, "I wonder what Pyramid would think about this and how hard did Vinay look to search out this gift?" I sent an email to NHL.com and asked them if the blanket already comes with holes in it! LOL!!! Hope you get a good feed for the game tonight my friend...I won't be able to watch the game tonight, but I hope to sneak away to catch it on the radio. Take care brother and Go Leafs Go!
Cheers Leaf Nation!

[Tim]

Tried to get gift #14, but they say they only ship to the continental U.S. What's the deal? How many Americans want a Leafs recording?

[Pyramid Power]

Good evening We BeLeaf!

Stinking Habs winning at the end of two 4-2 against Boston. Toronto native Cammalleri dropped the gloves with, wait for it, David freakin' Krejci! Wow! Krejci won! Decent scrap.

Yes, a Losskalol blanket with holes. Punch the holes in it, and wear it like Linus does except it would not be for security but rather for my innate inherent and oh so understandable Leaf insecurities. That blanket should go for peanuts so to speak.

Question for you or anyone here: WHAT IS VESA TOSKALA DOING RIGHT NOW?

Playing for the Helsinki Hellcats in a beer league, and giving up soft slappers from the other team's end by drunken Finnish opponents?

Counting the money JFJ gave him, and laughing as he makes his way to his Finnish bank? Thank the hockey gods this Finn is finnished sic.

Game time in 30 minutes bro'! Hope you will be able to sneak away indeed to catch updates with Ralphie and Beyak.

GO LEAFS GO! GO LEAFS GO! GO LEAFS GO!

[TG77]

So the Bruins are down by 2 and I am in pain to admit to cheering for the Habs but, should the Leafs win tonight, 6 pts out of 8th place in the East. Keeping on with the Habs-Bruins game, why were the announcers saying that David Krejci is a tough guy during the fight. Ron Maclean just said it was the 1st career fight for him and Cammalleri (sp?).

A lot of what ifs need to go right but following the Oilers 5-0 whitewash debacle, this team has got it together a little bit and if this is the line-up Burke envisioned, then they are not as bad as the record would indicate. Brown on the 4th line and PK was solid before going down with the injury too.

I echo PP's happiness for Aulie being in the line-up. Anyway, the article in the star suggesting the Leafs won this trade hands down but what do you all think? There is more to this trade beyond the players because Phaneuf makes $6.5 million and that has to be factored into this trade. Stajan was never going to be a 1st line centre but he also wasn't nearly as bad as the perception of him while Hagman seems like he could be so much better given practically each goal he scores is a highlight goal (saw him score a ridiculous goal live at the olympics this year). I like Sjostrom for the most part but has he made a serious impact on the penalty kill? I like Dion too but I feel like I like his potential more than his actual play with the Leafs. He's a turnover machine at times and gets beat along the wall when he tries to flatten guys. Did anyone see Ludzik and Craig Button ripping on him on OTR? They mocked the decision to make him captain simply because he took over the dressing room music and suggested he doesn't deserve it.

[Pyramid Power]

Classic line by Leafs legend Jim McKenny who everybody knows on ESPN: "Half this game is mental. The other half is BEING mental." LOVE IT!

Heard that one before but it never gets old. Is he still the man on CITY-TV?

[Pyramid Power]

Hope Rosehill is good to go tonight in front of his fans and family in Alberta.

Stick a shield on the man Ronnie and let him play despite his busted schnozz. He deserves it after all the work he has done to make it to Toronto and the NHL even if it is sporadically.

[Pyramid Power]

Hope to see Moe, Hoof, TG77, Culoman and everyone out here on the live threads here tonight.

Got a perfect stream going to watch the stinkin' Habs possibly win their game against Boston. 4-2 late. Almost game time in Calgary! Hope to get a quality stream for this game.

Boston just scored. 4-3 Montreal late. Lucic scores! Come on Bawstun! Make this a perfect night for Leafs fans!

GO LEAFS GO! GO LEAFS GO! GO LEAFS GO! AND BOSTON!

[Pyramid Power]

Kotalik scores a lucky one to tie it 1-1. Sorry Vinay.

Tough time finding a good stream here. Moe and others will have to take over.

GO LEAFS GO!

[TG77]

Pyramid, is it safe to say we are president and vice-president of the Rosehill fan club? Loving the Leafs fans in Calgary tonight. Anyway, we are also pres and VP of the "get rid of Lebda club" too.

Is there a good reason why the Leafs play their 4th line after giving up a goal?

[Pyramid Power]

Good smart penalty by Aulie on the Stajan breakaway.

Let us kill this penalty now.

Stream horrible. Nobody blocks streams as well as LeafsTV does.

Vinay: before Richard Peddie goes you have to ask him why this is and why the music is terrible at the ACC and why beer costs $14.25? Leaf Nation demands answers. Peddie must give answers.

Grabbo almost scored on a break.

GO LEAFS GO!

[Pyramid Power]

@TG77 Will detail why I think the Leafs won that trade hands down later. Good points but remember Stajan has scored ONE goal in 43 games for Calgary. Was given a four year $14 mill deal for doing that? Hagman is just a player that scores goals, but generally are not clutch.

Mayers let go for nothing to the Sharks. White trade brought little of value to Calgary imo.

Upside for the trade for Toronto is much higher although I also have huge reservations about Dion Phaneuf and his skill set. More later.

1-1 late in the first. Giggy just made a huge save.

Grabbo just drew a penalty. Let's get one before the end of the first and go up 2-1.

GO LEAFS GO!

[TG77]

I don't ever wish ill will on a player to get hurt but Kotsopolous is the reason (or one of them) that Mike Van Ryn is now a coach in the OHL versus playing as the Leafs 5th or 6th d-man.

[Pyramid Power]

1-1 at the end of one. Kulemin from MacArthur for our goal.

Phaneuf. Wow TG77! In the slot with a clear shot at the net, wide open, tees it up and cannot hit the net. Nobody near him. It's wild what goes on with this man and scoring compared to his early Norris and Calder trophy finalist days. Hit the freakin' net Dion! Make Leafs fans and Elisha happy dammit!

Maybe too keyed up, but this is nothing new. Has to at least make Kiprusoff make the save on a chance like that. It was golden. But he did not do so. Unbeleafable.

Anyway, stay positive. Good thoughts flowing towards the blue and white. Gotta have this game as badly as the Flames do.

Giggy please get it done for us. Doing well so far.

[Pyramid Power]

TG77 It is very safe to say that we both love what Rosehill is and what he could be. I love guys like him who fight and fight with a limited skill set to realize their dreams. So much to love about Rosehill if you look at his history. A bloody tragedy he isn't playing tonight in front of family and friends from Olds, Alberta.

You can be President of the Jay Rosehill Fan Club if you like. I will happily be VP.

And yessir President and VP of The Get Rid of Lebda Club too. The guy has disgusted me upon arrival. Was told by Wings fans that we would regret this signing badly. Oh, how right they were - so far. Let's give him a few more giveaways and horrible penalties at the wrong times before officially starting that club OK?

Fourth line after a goal? Sure. LOL No, really who should go out after a goal is our third line with Brent I would think. Brent, Sjostrom and defensive killers. Third or fourth line after a goal is OK by me.
But that is all line matchups that Ronnie has to answer for.

You know it goes back to when we played hockey even.
Who do you put out after the other squad scores?
Do you arrogantly say freak you and put out your first line that scores?
Or do you fearfully put out your checking line? All depends on the opponent, what your team is all about, their strengths and weaknesses and the other team's strengths and weaknesses.

To the second period we go. Let's get the next one. Giggy has been outstanding. Let's get it going man.

GO LEAFS GO!

[Pyramid Power]

PHEW! STAJAN ALMOST SCORED THERE AND IS DISGUSTED WITH HIMSELF AND RIGHTFULLY SO.

Get it together Toronto. Settle down. Calgary outplaying us and outchancing us. Come on guys! Get it freakin' going. We are being outplayed straight up.

[TG77]

Lebda just did his Dion impression on that shot. Gross!! I am calling Kadri's first NHL goal tonight. Don't get me wrong on the trade, the day I woke up incredibly hungover to a text saying Dion Phaneuf!!!!!!! from my buddy, I was thrilled but the guy I remember in the World Jrs getting penalties for basically hitting people too hard and scoring 20 goals from the point seem like things we won't be seeing from him. On a side, when Kaberle breaks his stick is it really a good idea for Kulemin who is actually much better defensively to give his stick away?

[moe green]

Hey all, missed the first - got the time wrong? Any way I have people over so I need updates. Funny post Vinay, enjoy the party.

[moe green]

Pyramid try atdhe

[Pyramid Power]

1-1 almost halfway thru.

Happy that we are tied right now. Mr. Phil Kessel and Mr. Kristopher Versteeg: please score goals! Two would be very nice but Leaf Nation will happily take three or four.

Giggy: hold the freakin' fort and justify Ronnie's faith in you and your HUGE paycheques that you happily cash each week at a Toronto bank. Thank you very much gentlemen.

Sincerely,
A Leaf fan

[Pyramid Power]

Thanks Moe. I do. Believe me I have a bunch of sites I try.

Ever get the idea looking at Flames coach Sutter that he is truly insane? I swear the man reminds me of an almost bald Jack Nicholson in 'The Shining'!

[Pyramid Power]

Nailed Nicholson I mean Sutter finally for a too many men on the ice penalty. To the PP we go.

A lonely lovely nation now looks directly at YOU Phil Kessel! And YOU Kristopher Versteeg. Score a freakin' goal please. Giggy is doing great and is the reason we are in this game along with luck.

Now get it done Toronto!

GO LEAFS GO!

[moe green]

T'hell with Gustavsson, I'm calling Giggy "goooose!"

[moe green]

Awe. Why? Don't they no this is another near-must-win game!

[moe green]

Is it 4-1? wasn't it just 1-1?

[Pyramid Power]

Entertaining hockey game Vinay! Giggy with another save. Man is doing his job.

That PP made me almost puke my coffee etc...... Best chance was a 3 on 1 for Calgary and they just about scored. Then at the bitter end of the PP Phaneuf had a chance to get a shot on net with men in front of Kiprusoff. What happened? Well, we all know what happened.

Miraculously Dion was unable to get his shot to the net or on net. Creativity Dion, creativity man. Have you heard of that word on the ice?

Obviously you have some personality and some funny in you to get Elisha to dig you. Why the freak can't you get a shot like that on net and to the net? I do not comprehend you man.

Flames score. Bummer. Mitchell, Schenn and others horrible on the Tanguay goal. 2-1 Calgary. Sickening. I do not know who to blame for that goal.

Calgary scores again. 3-1 Calgary. Awful. Jokeinen sic rips one by Giggy. We're in deep trouble here.

Flames again. 4-1. I am going to puke. Very weak goal allowed by Giggy on Bourque on a 2 on 1. Drink Vinay drink. I think I will start to do so now.

[moe green]

Don't lose hope - Calgary is a horrible team.

[TG77]

Not a good turn of events there. The boys are wasting Jiggy's effort tonight in a big way. Are the Leafs the worst team in the history of the game at getting the puck out of their own end? The Tanguay goal came after about 6 missed opportunities. 4-1 now. Maybe take a time-out? 3 goals in less than a minute.

[moe green]

I missed most of the game and all of the goals. Was Giggy good? He made some great saves but were the goals weak?

[gettingcozywithsarkozy]

okay, so I get it, they can't blame anyone but themselves for the atrocious play in that second period, but answer me this: if the play (on the delayed penalty to Grabo) was blown dead while the flames had the puck because a 6th player jumped on the ice before Kipper got off, why didn't Calgary get a "too many men" penalty there? That would have been 4 on 4 and most likely would not have led to the 3rd calgary goal, thereby changing the whole outcome of the game.

...On a side note, when the refs finally caught calgary with too many men (the 3rd time it happened), I counted EIGHT players on the ice for the flames in the still-shot they showed on the screen. EIGHT!

[moe green]

I don't understand Wilson. If Giggy has groin issues, why does he push him. Especially since Gustavsson is so solid. I don't understand.

[moe green]

So what kind of internet do u have in China Pyramid? Do they have the interweb? So what's it like being a spy? I assume you are spy. You know what they say: "don't assume, or you'll make a puddin' uh the whole dang thing."

[moe green]

K gotta go. Quick thought. I know we are gonna comeback tonight - seriously. But if we don't, can we afford a loss in Vancouver? I don't think so. We at least gotta get a point outta this. How hard can it be, it's Calgary.

[TG77]

A little salt in the wound. Hagman with a goal (and 2 assists). Lebda, Mitchell on waivers please. Make it happen and let Kadri develop for the rest of the year with the Marlies. I like him, he has great hands and brings skill in the shootout that no else on the team has but to have him play with Mitchell or Brent is just a waste of his skill. I am in no way saying that Kadri is a bad draft pick because I think he will work out well but putting him with plugs is nonsense. With a true number one centre, this team would be around 6th or 7th in the East. Make it respectable and win the 3rd period (Grabovski with a nice slapper there).

[moe green]

God these Leafs stink. Kidding. Am I? But I do hate them. Back to my guests. If they lose to Van it's really over. It's over now. Or is it? When it's over though, then it's over. They got beaten by a horrible team. Phaneuf was horrible. I repeat, Calgary was horrible tonight. That's how bad out Leafs can be. Woe is us and on an evening that began with such promise. Now a heroic effort against the Nucks and they barely tread water.

[Pyramid Power]

I am indeed a spy Moe. That is all I can tell you or we will have to use our very considerable powers to slay you in Austin. :)

Aaahhhhhhh poop. Just not a good hockey game by Toronto. 5-2 final. Not much to say about that slop especially after we had our chances to do something at 1-1 and failed.

Get on the plane to 'Couver guys and forget about that crap totally.

Can you imagine how smashed Vinay is now? Dangerous. Hope they have cabs out and available now. He is a Star star so they better not let him drive himself home.

CHEERS TO ALL!

[moe green]

It's these games that have killed this team all season. It's not the losses to Philly or Boston. It's the losses to the Oilers, Islanders and Flames. That's what angers the fans. If they can beat the Caps and Pens? Two illusions though. Tonight the Leafs' loss was due to a one-minute lapse. In fairness, the Flames well outplayed us, but up until that time it was still 1-1. The goaltending was spectacular until it stunk. Giguere has a "Toskala-eske" save percentage. Comebacks are somewhat illusory. When a team is up by a few they naturally let-up and that's when the Leafs pop. It's a recipe for disaster long-term as their record demonstrates. The Leafs is that they ARE better than they played tonight. Is sub-standard goaltending still a major problem with this team?

[Mark Borkowski]

Interesting licensed product, if they are real.

The Maple Leafs could do a better job to sell their brand on many more credible products. For example, a major Cosmetics company produced an exclusive brand for Hudson's Bay. This perfume is flying off the shelves. The Maple Leaf Brand is worth substantially more than the current people that negotiate and solicit license rights to use the logo.

Forget shirts, jersey and socks. Think Credit card. Partner with a major bank. How about the TD Maple Leaf credit card. You accumulate points toward getting a tickets. Better than air mile points that you never use.

The "boss" of the Maple Leafs has managed an organization that is over sold and needs nothing but maintenance. It now needs a progressive thinker to build the brand and get the very best players in Toronto. We want a Stanley Cup.

Mark Borkowski

[Robert]

Gosh what position does Ms. Milano play? We sent a bunch of Leafs out to Calgary to play, a bunch of pussy willows showed up.

[Ken Baumgartner]

It is indeed these losses Moe that drive fans crazy. It's the difference between the playoffs and golf. But of course it is ok, or so I am told. It's an acceptable loss because they are a young team rebuilding from the ground up. This loss to another bottom feeder just like all the other ones every year for the last half dozen is teaching this team how to win apparantly. They are growing together. Who cares that it probably put the playoffs out of reach, I mean 9th or 10th place is ok because the team has so much potential in the minors, next year those rookies are going to make all the diference in the world and the young players on this team will have this experience under their belts. It's all part of the plan because when you lose to the bottom feeders it is so important to the development of this young team. Clearly losing and missing the playoffs is way more character building than winning and making the playoffs because because they are the second youngest team in the league and you have to learn how to lose before you can learn how to win. Isn't that how the saying goes? We should not be concerned, it is an acceptable because this is a young rebuilding team.
Can someone pass me a tissue please, blue and white disease is giving me the sniffles?

[We BeLeaf]

Hi Mark,
Some good ideas you have submitted, but under this MLSE you probably won't see it happen. Did you hear about the new line of perfume the Montreal Canadiens have launched with PK Subban? It's a little different in how it works though....you put it on and the other guy scores! Go Leafs Go!
Cheers!

[hoofheartz]

Vinay, you forgot the most important Leaf gift of all: 2 consecutive games of intensity from the boys in blue. I can't believe the difference in this team from the team that played in Edmonton on Tuesday. Oh, one other thing. An electric collar for Lebda, to be used every time he decides to make a bad pinch.

[morris greenberg]

I am really sad today. I'm an optimistic guy but my optimism is starting to wane. Even if they win against the Nuckleheads so what. They'll only lose to the Islanders right? I'm tired of the nonsense games like last night. Giggy has to make at least one of those three saves. I am so cranky. I don't mind waiting til next eyar but what am I gonna do: Pretend that the games this year mean something? Yeah right. Am I gonna pull for another team like the Habs. That would be like dating your wife's sexy older sister. Bad analogy. But I am depressed today cuz my Leafs let me down. Thanks to the MacKulebovski line for making it fun and showing tons of heart but boo to all the losers who made me unhappy. Boo to Phaneuf and his stupidly innacurate shot. Boo to everyone's stupidly innacurate shots. Boo to Boozak. Boo to Lebda who should be tried at centre. Boo to Kessel who is "Blaking" the puck in way too often. Boo to Wilson for playing Giguere when it was clearly Goose's turn. Boo for pulling Giguere to late. Boo for not calling a timeout. Boo shucks to all of you who lost to the pathetic Calgary Flames. Just Boo. Boo Leafs, Boo!

[Moyshe Greenblatt]

I want a playoff race! There I said it. I don't care if we make it, but I want to care about he games for a couple mor months. No fair ending the dream so quickly. And why? C'mon, if the D-men are this bad are they really gonna improve. Is Bozak the next Stevey Y. I hope he was kidding about being a Beiber fan but you never know with kids these days. Dane Cook actually had a career! Are they texting people during th game? I have an idea. Let's bench Wilson for a couple games and see what happens. I bet they win. C'mon Burkey, do it for the fans!

[Moyshe Greenblatt]

Poor Vinay. Head pounding. Squinting at the alarm clock between piercing throbs. Wishing he hadn't made out with that cute girl from advertising. And then the horrible game. What are the Leafs doing to his wonderful blog. I feel for him. He's got to March in here sit in front of the screen and make us laugh in spite of all his pain. What a trooper. If the next post is a little sub-standard, we'll understand Vinay. We'll understand.

VM Replies: It's like you're in the same room with me right now.

[Ken Baumgartner]

Oh well Vinay, my guess is the humour is coming naurally to you. You just continue being a Leafs fan and that is good enough for us. Unfortunately humour come more easily when your team is in the game rather on the sidelines watching the game pass them by.
HHHHHHHHHhhhhhHachoooo!

VM Replies: A consistent effort. That's all I really want, Bomber.

[Simmer]

@Moe Green

Substandard? This next article needs to be the best yet, this is a huge article coming up and it going to be a major turning point in whether there will be a playoff blog or not. I don't care if you're hungover from the party and missed writing practice.
In fact, if this blog is anything less than one of your normal gems, we're going to start a movement to fire your boss because he's clearly not getting enough out of you. We'd ask for a trade, but I'm not sure any other paper can fit you under their cap.

VM Replies: Oh, I could fit under any cap. Trust me on this.

[moe]

"Gone in 60 seconds?" just a thought. I bet you thought of that already huh.

VM Replies: Damn, that would have been good! I just posted. I feel like bloody hell so be kind.