Game 28: Game? What game?

The following NHL game review was calibrated to match the focus, clarity, coherence and urgency of the Toronto Maple Leafs this evening...

 

Hello. How are you? I am fine. Thank you. How are you?

I think there's a mouse in my kitchen. I haven't seen him yet. But there was a scratching sound. The cats were acting strange. You're right. It could be a girl mouse. I shouldn't have typed "him."

I just stubbed my toe. I think it's bleeding.

It's so cold. Freezing! Or maybe it's not. Maybe I'm just complaining. I don't know. It seemed cold a few minutes ago when I tossed a pillow on my deck, lay down without my coat or shoes and just stared up into the dark skies.

Do you think we're alone in the universe? Or somewhere out there, on another planet, in another galaxy, are there other sports fans who are now staring into the dark skies and thinking about the universe and wondering why?

It was nice to see Walter Gretzky tonight.

Did I ever tell you about the time I was dispatched to the airport to track down Team Canada?

It was February 1998. Our hockey guys had just imploded in Nagano. No medals! I was working the evening shift on The Star's city desk and my assignment editor said: "Go to the airport and get us a story on disappointment."

"What?" I said.

"Just do it," she replied.

Angelina Jolie's new movie with Johnny Depp does not sound promising. It's weird. I mean, on paper, you would think this would work. It should have worked.

Anyway, about an hour later I'm running around Pearson, begging anybody with a badge to help me find Team Canada. Please. Help me. I'm lost. Where should I go?

It seemed hopeless.

Then, finally, a guy with a mop, a lazy eye and a crisp blue uniform overhears one of my frantic conversations. And he does one these: “Pssst. Hey, Bub. C’mere. I’ll tell you where to go.”

A few minutes later – boom! – I'm face-to-face(s) with some of Canada's best hockey players at the time, including Al MacInnis, Rod Brind'Amour, Ray Bourque, Martin Brodeur and Chris Pronger. (Why does that last name sound familiar this evening? Why?)

I recall trying to get a quick interview with Wayne Gretzky as he was fumbling with his suitcase near a limo. Janet was there. But he was like: "Not now, not now. Not now. Not now, not now."

Seriously, that's all he said. It was like I was trying to interview the Rain Man.

But that Walter, what a prince!

He did an interview and introduced me to a few other people. Experience counts, I guess. Maturity is a virtue. I met my deadline that night.

I also remember Rob Blake saying: "We tried but it didn't work out the way we wanted it to. It's disappointing."

I was watching a little TV earlier tonight. Not sure what it was. There were some guys skating around in circles and using sticks to direct a small black piece of rubber toward a net. Well, actually, it looked like they were trying to miss the net.

Not sure. Not now.

There were also several shots of the crowd. Everybody in that building was fidgety and frowning and agitated. There was booing and heckling. It all seemed so desperate and wrong.

Yes, for sure, my toe is bleeding.

I lost my camera this week. Nikon D40x. Gone! I loved that damn camera.

When you think about it, really think about it, pictures are bizarre.

A moment in time captured for eternity? What if you're not smiling? What if your eyes are closed?

What if you miss your chance to shine?

Here's an article about rodent gender.

Goodnight.

 

 

PHOTO: DOES IT EVEN MATTER AT THIS POINT?

Comments

[Tom]

Flawless review.

VM Replies: Thank you, Tom. I'm still trying to decipher the code you emailed the other night.

[Pyramid Power]

Angelina Jolie is gorgeous. Beyond gorgeous. I would pay to go see that wretched film with Depp just to gawk at her.

That scene in 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' where she calls hubby Brad a 'pussy' is to die for.

The government where I live is being very mean. They're just not being nice in Oslo. I feel sad about this.

Oh, never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Game? What game? I don't know anything about a game.

VM Replies: Are you doing play-by-play on Saturday?

[Gettingcozywithsarkozy]

Excellent... I enjoyed how you "talked about the game" without actually "talking about the game". It softens the blow. Tonight was harsh enough, you had to go bringing back 1998 too!??!?

VM Replies: Sorry.

[Katherine]

You summed up the evening quite succinctly

May I direct you back to game 24's comments "People, the Toronto Maple Leafs are trying to kill us."

*sigh*

VM Replies: There are still lots of games left. This is what I keep telling myself.

[We BeLeaf]

And in other news the Sens lost to the Rangers last night. Avery and Lundqvist were named Forbes best dressed. Bring on the Habs because we need a win, please! That is all...good night, er, good morning.
Cheers!

VM Replies: Your cheerfulness is always appreciated, We BeLeaf.

[robert]

LEAF FANS TIME TO WAKE UP.......STOP SUPPORTING THIS CRAPPY TEAM........ THEY ARE F*&KING AWFUL.........I live in Ottawa and went to see a woeful Sens game last night (who I might add are much better than the sad sack leafs).YOU KNOW WHAT??? THERE WERE 3000 EMPTY SEATS!!!!

When will Leafs fans stop acting like mindless Lemmings? If history is any guide.........NEVER.......PATHETIC

[The 5th Line Centre]

Now that is a tough loss.
Of course I mean the camera, the other was sadly just routine.

VM Replies: That camera has taken quite a few Leaf pictures since September. I wonder if it simply ran away.

[Ken Baumgartner]

IIIIII'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
And with my Leafs still playoffs bound,
and the goal scorers scoring,
my defence defending,
the poooower play above dead last.

IIIIII'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Unlike the ones I've always known
Where the hole is dug too deep,
They play like crippled sheep
and juuuuuunior worlds must fill our glass

[gettingcozywithsarkozy]

"much better than the sad sack Leafs'!?!??!?!?! yes, that 2 point lead the hens hold over the leafs really highlights their superiority.

[Ken Baumgartner]

Robert are you kidding, the Sens are better? I live in Ottawa too and it ain't pretty here. They have 2 more losses than the leafs and are only 2 points up. There goalies are brutal and Gonchar needs a cane he is so old. The only thing stopping a revolt is that the vetrans, Alfie, fisher, phillips and others are good people. Once those 3 get traded it is going to get ugly because that team needs to get blown up. This is a Leafs blog though so enough of the hapless Sens.

VM Replies: Gonchar needs a cane? I may have to borrow that line at some point, Bomber.

[leefan]

I had tickets to see the last game against Montreal this season. I got rid of them after the Edmonton debacle. I've been a life long Leaf fan, but I can't justify supporting this team when the money could be spent on something useful, fun or at least entertaining.

VM Replies: Getting locked inside Chuck E. Cheese for a month would have been preferable to last night's misery.

[Melissa the Engineering]

*blinks*...*opens mouth to comment*...*blinks again*...*wipes away single tear*...*pulls blanket over head*

VM Replies: Hide. It's getting scary out here.

[leafland'r]

After a restless night, thanks for letting me wake up to Angelina.

VM Replies: The least I could do.

[leafland'r]

I've read and heard Kadri state that he is going to remain "creative".
What really remans is: WHEN?

[80s Leafs]

The jury is still out on who got the better of the Pitt deal, Aniston or Jolie. Time will tell. Jenn's single and free, but she's not getting any younger. But Pitt and Jolie's kids are so young we won't know their real impact for a number of years yet. I'd say call it a draw for now until we see what sort of long-term productions they each film. Either way, Seguin is still a Bruin today.

VM Replies: Nicely done.

[SweetG]

Sigh. After reading your column, I want to pull out my "My Canada includes Messier" t-shirt circa '98.

So, on Saturday night, do they just cut to the chase and start the game spotting Montreal a 4 goal lead?

VM Replies: I was laughing last night thinking the same thing: Why don't we just start the game 4-0 to get 60 minutes of "comeback" energy? After the Pittsburgh game, Ron Wilson was asked if a power play in the first period was the "turning point." He bristled and said: “The turning point in the game was when they dropped the opening faceoff.”

[Ken Baumgartner]

Hey 80's Leafs, you had to mention Seguin. That's like jabbing a knife in my spleen, missing my heart by inches.

[Robert]

I thought we were giving this team 2 to 3 years to build? So what did we expect?Actually, you are probably right, if we rent a movie while the Leafs are playing we can watch the movie during the 4 to zip opening and then come in when the Leafs reach their climax. WOW

[PK]

Those must have been some awful waffles

VM Replies: The worst. But surprisingly aerodynamic.

[80s Leafs]

@Ken Baumgartner:
Sorry about that, Bomber! I needed the reference to make that post work.

Wait....am I allowed to say "Bomber" on here, or will that get Sens-i-Bill fired up about this blog being in-SENS-itive again?

People have been incorrectly referring to Kadri as "Khadr" since training camp, so I don't see the problem with my little reference above.

[gettingcozywithsarkozy]

The leafs traded two first rounders (one of which turned out to be Seguin) and a second rounder for kessel?!?!?! Geesh, really? I thought they picked him up off of waivers on a two-way "last chance" tryout contract. This totally changes my perception of Burke winning the Kessel deal!!!

...sorry, it's getting close to lunch time

[moe green]

What a beautiful woman. Exquisite, succulent lips. A goddess. And look at those cheekbones. Her entire career hangs off of those cheekbones. I sure wish I had great bone structure. Oh wait, now I do.

[moe green]

We would be patient about the rebuild if we could see the upside. Are Grabovski, Kulemin and MacArthur going to improve that much? What about Kessel. Or is he always going to be an opportunistic, streaky perimeter player? Where is the upside. Patience is fine if there is something to wait for. Is there?

[moe green]

That was so unsatisfying. Watching the team's playoff hopes come to an end with a whimper. Kind of like getting dumped with a text message. When I break up with someone I want kicking, screaming, yelling, crying - there ought to be hair-pulling, slapping - a stiletto involved. That just wasn't good enough. After all I've given to this team over the years, I deserve better.

So I'm watching the game Saturday and giving the boys a chance to put an emphatic stamp on the end of hope for another season. I want a train wreck. I want a fiery explosion. I want to know for good and for all that that it's over. No more clinging to the merest chance. No more waiting for mathematics for closure. I want the team to tell me once and for all if they have any more fight in them.

If they do want it, if they care, we'll see it Saturday. If not, I want to see a humiliation at the hands of the evil Habs. At least then I'll set my sights on a out-of-the-lottery finish instead of that playoffs pipe dream. I might not watch so intently and I might even miss a game or two. Who knows, I may even spend a little more "quality time" with my girlfriend. Or maybe even go out on a Saturday night with my wife.

VM Replies: You're on a roll this morning. Also, the discussion you started last night re: sitcoms was perfect. When the game is lost, we should talk about something else.

[Hockey Fan, therefore by Definition Not a Leaf Fan]

Ah.....looking forward to Saturday night.
Let's see, Habs will be coming off a tough game with Detroit.
Their top defenceman is now out for the season, again.

Leafs will be rested, since they have only played 2 periods of hockey in the last week.

So if Toronto loses Sat night, what will be the excuse? Or will Laff fans finally accept they switch allegiances to another organization, ANY organization.

As for my "persistent antagonism", consider me a missionary among the heathens, try to convert them. (really bad analogy, I hate missionaries, but the best I can come up with).

It is my mission to convert as many as possible to real hockey.
Hell, go watch St Mikes play. They are way more entertaining, and way, way better entertainment for your dollar.

[Ken Baumgartner]

2 and 2 this week and they are still in it. 1 & 3 and they will be lucky to catch Ottawa. Saturday night indeed will be a telling hockey game.
If Kadri could score his first goal of his career, then mabye he could score his second.He is afterall a top line forward isn't he?
Hey Vinay did Kessel send you that picture of Angelina? Last night? Between shifts? When he was supposed to be focussing on hockey?

VM Replies: I truly feel sorry for that guy. Did you see the footage of him before the game? Just sitting in the room, slumped over, tugging at his hair.

[moe green]

I hears ya VM. Otherwise this could be a long, painful season. I still (sheepishly) cling to a tiny thread-ette of hope-ish-ness. Curse my eternal frickin' optimism.

PS. If you haven't seen IT crowd yet Vinay and gang - see it. Especially the first three seasons. What a funny show.

[Dave]

I was out with the wife for the start of the game. Told her I wanted to be home by 7 so that I could at least watch the game while the Leafs stood a chance. We didn't get home until 7:30, it was already 2-0.

I don't know what's worse - that I was right, or that I continue to watch the debacle.

One question for you VM - was Komisarek benched, or did he just put on Phaneuf's jersey last night? I couldn't tell as I don't have one of those fancy 3D TV's to watch.

VM Replies: I'll have to investigate before offering a definitive answer, Dave. Also, I watched last night on an old RCA black-and-white tube. The top is nice and wide, unlike those fancy flat-screens. So there's a place to keep my cup of gruel.

[kneeboard85]

@ Robert, Remember when Edmonton fans stopped going to games and they almost lost their franchise??? if people don't go will they decide to fire burke and wilson and make a bunch of moves? no, the GM calls the shots, going and not going makes no difference. In my opinion if you want change you go to the games and BOOOOOO people, how long did Mccabe last after that own net goal where everyone lost it, the player eventually wants to leave.

VM Replies: Good advice. You could never get a critical mass to disengage in this market.

[Nik Culoman]

Well, I missed the game tonight but heard it was probably one of the worst games they have played. Which leaves me with a question......Is that they are limited on talent and the other teams know this thus targeting the players with skill and shutting them down...Or Is it simply laziness.....Lack of effort and drive??...

I have to say I am leaning towards the first one, but in some cases some of the players I have watched taking it easy seem to be the vets. that this team calls upon for examples and leadership. Kaberle, Beauchemin, Kommi seem to be the weakest link. These players cost, and don't check....Kaberle, the only contact he makes on any ther player is probably a high 5 at the end of the game.

I am getting tired of people hounding these kids on this team...But where our attention and anger should be directed at the vets who.......

Wow, how good would kessel look on a line with Jeff Carter.......AH well....Kaberle will be gone this summer for nothing....I am hoping Burke can find some youth to trade for or bring up....I would rather watch a team of young kids top to bottom loose...because those seem to give an effort...Than with the so called vets. who don't reflect the image of professionalism and competition.

VM Replies: Nik, your Kaberle/high-five line just made me laugh out loud. We have to keep laughing through these difficult times.

[moe green]

Kessel is a young sniper who can't snipe. Kind of like a young lover who can't get an erection. It's gotta be hard on the guy - no pun intended. When he is "on" the way he was earlier this year he is phenomenal. In fact, before "Phil the Thrill" wasn't he nicknamed "phenom?" Seriously, I think he was close to going first overall in his draft year. Not sure why he didn't. Anyway I think this kid has a ton of potential. Amazing hands and wheels. We need a coach that can coax all of that potential out of him. Kadri too. In spite of recent performances, I think these two are truly special talents. Taylor Hall? Maybe not, but maybe better than Seguin.

[Ken Baumgartner]

oh man, I JUST WANT THEM TO WIN!

[Ken Baumgartner]

Yea I agree Moe. Let's hope Saturday is a turning point. Sadly, I have my doubts. I hope I'm wrong

[Bracken]

My pants are tight.

[Bracken]

Also, someone tell Robert he can go suck on soggy waffles.

[80s Leafs]

Ok, I can definitely say "Bomber" on here if Moe can get away with that "bone structure" line.

[Ken Baumgartner]

Ok so who threw the waffles on the ice.? It's created a storm. It was probably nik culaman. He's a fiesty fella. Was it you Nik? Tell the truth.
Vinay? You didn't have a media pass and showed up at the game with breakfast did you?

VM Replies: It wasn't me.

[Nik Culoman]

No, I didn't throw the waffles hahahahahaha I think it's time we give these vets a boot...Play a team of young guys...Where at least we can expect and be patient while they grow and mature as pros.

I am tired of Kaberle, who waffles on every body check....Have any of you seen him hit anything out there??? Talk about a one dimensional player.....What does he do?? Don't tell me move the puck, because anyone with a stick and can skate can do that....A blind paraplegic could move the puck forward...

Komi, wow...another vet...My reply to that guy would be...Where Keith's Aulie?

John Mitchell, when is this no talent bum clown ever going to play to potential...or Have we just seen it?....

So I say give Kessel, and the kids some time......Give Kaberle, Komi, MItchel....and the other vets...Waffles, pancakes, syrup, french toast, for all I care as long as they skip town.....Heck, I will buy them a pass to Golden griddle

[Nik Culoman]

Kaberle, couldn't even high five properly..Because that would mean he needed to hit someone...hahahahahaha He would waffle through a high five...

The only positive thing about kaberle..is that he is leaving at the end of the season, HOPEFULLY sooner.

[Kid Delicious / Leaf Shredder]

Habs / Leafs tonight. Missed a great oppurtunity to take down the first place Wings last night but we will surely not do this twice. Is Komisarek (Bud Abbott) playing tonight? I need a little comic relief now and than while watching the Leafs. Dion(and the Bellmonts) Phaneuf is back....like he was ever missed? Who's in nets...Giggly or the Munster? Again...does it really matter? I will most definately be on here tomorrow morning...win or lose. I know what to expect now.
A Leaf win: Talk of the Cup begins . Followed by chants of "Leafs are the Greatest"!lol....
Leafs lose: And you all retreat to the church basement of your choice and cry about the "old days".

Who needs cable T.V.?

VM Replies: Sweet mother of God. Are you taunting us before 9 a.m.?

[Pyramid Power]

Yes, Vinay he is taunting us before this ungodly hour.

I must regretfully inform you that I will be unable to perform my play by play duties tonight.

I can only hope and pray to the gods that we defeat the stinking Scabs - their feral, fetid, fecal, festering fans make me sick.

Hopefully we defeat the Flabs tonight, and they continue on a long crushing devastating losing streak that causes the city to implode with panic, sadness, vitriol and the usual rioting of course. Motown did their jobs last night.

Hockeytown needs to do its job tonight.

GO LEAFS GO! BLOW HAGS BLOW!

VM Replies: No PP in the booth tonight? Damn you, Shanghai!

[Ken Baumgartner]

Hey kid ridiculous, get real. Sure, you want to talk about how your Habs are going to beat us and rub it in fine, That's fair enough.They may or may not, you know both teams will come to play. They always do against each other. But to suggest that a leafs win and the cup is ours? I heard you were born at night; was it last night? Cup and parade talk always comes from everyone but a leafs fan so it makes them feel big. It must be because they are compensating for their little thing they wished wasn't so little.

[Hoofheartz]

Excellent post Bomber, especially the last part. I had to look twice at his name, just to make sure it wasn't kid d---less (I'm getting old and don't see very well anymore, some might say I'm also myopic when it comes to the Leafs).

VM Replies: Hoofheartz, I had to put some dashes in there.

[Hoofheartz]

Thats OK my friend. On occassion my Leaf passion gets the better of me, especially when it comes to stinking habnot fans.