Game 32: Throw a paper bag over your head and get ready to jump

Nobody expected the Leafs to beat Vancouver tonight. So for once, at least our expectations were met. That's something, right?

Right?

Oh, these magnificent poor Leaf bastards.

I won't lie to you. It is not looking good. It is really not looking good.

Yes, there are 50 games left to play. Yes, there are 100 points up for grabs. Yes, mathematically speaking, this team could engineer a spectacular second-half and bridge the 10-point chasm that now separates them from a final playoff spot.

Yes, we could get a taste of postseason play for the first time since 2004.

Then again, I could wake up tomorrow and suddenly be fluent in Swahili. You could learn to fly. We could sit down over lemon squares and tequila shots and come up with a scientific answer to this paranormal question: Are the Leafs cursed? Are the vultures already circling?

More important: Are we cursed?

Are we doomed to make feeble excuses and search for silver linings even as the grim reaper gives us wedgies twice a week under storm clouds? Are we wasting our time? Was commenter Denial on to something when he left us weeks ago for Planet Disengagement?

People keep talking about patience and loyalty. People keep patting me on the shoulder while preaching about "rebuilding," a process that could take three, four, five – God knows how many years.

Okay. Fine. For the sake of argument, for the sake of our splintered sanity, let's say the rebuild is proceeding exactly as planned.

All these gritty but demoralizing losses – that's just part of the learning curve. This is the youngest team in the league and they are absorbing painful but valuable lessons that will shape their experiences and game instincts.

Okay. Fine. This should be super-awesome. Really.

But until this super-awesomeness dawns, what are we supposed to do? Are we supposed to cling to the hypothetical pledge of a better tomorrow and ignore the concrete reality of a bleak today? Should we just shake our heads and fake our smiles and punch ourselves in the genitals to help lessen the pain? Should we just accept short-term failure with a promise note scrawled on the back of a dirty napkin that says something about future glory?

Or should we throw paper bags over our heads and get ready to jump?

I recall once spending more than a day in the Italian port city of Brindisi. This was supposed to be a brief stopover. Brindisi was a blip on our journey. It was never our destination.

The plan was simple: We'd take the train to Brindisi and leave just enough time to board a ferry that would slice across the Adriatic and drop us in Corfu.

Alas, the captain refused to depart until his ship was full. Scheduled departure? Get real. Now run along. Go wander our desolate streets and come back later. How much later? Not sure. Just later. Come back later. We'll know when it's time. Later.

So we waited. And we wandered. And we waited and wandered some more.

By the time we left Brindisi, the mood on that ship was decidedly somber. Travelers from all over were exhausted from touring an unremarkable city they never planned to endure. Their giddy exuberance was crushed by the simple act of killing time.

Did Toronto deserve to lose 4-1 tonight? Probably not. Was the game closer than the final score indicates? I suppose. Can we take some positives away from tonight's loss? Sure. Does it matter? No.

What matters: Their learning curve feels like a noose around our necks. Their missed shots are hitting us in the heads. Their giveaways are taking away our resolve. Their confusion is forcing too many inside Leafs Nation to think decisively about leaving.

Maybe they'll return when the ship is ready to sail. Maybe they won't.

The Leafs may be learning to win by losing. But I fear we are learning not to care about either.

***

PHOTO: DARRYL DYCK/CANADIAN PRESS

Comments

[Pyramid Power]

Somehow the metaphor or simile of the Leafs and a kid's piano recital really resonates with me Moe.

And awesome Vinay! Great stuff and indeed let us stick with the philosophical mission here:

WHY DO THE LEAFS HATE US SO MUCH? LOL LOL

TG77 Can you imagine if we had Duchene and all the players in the NHL who are still eligible to play for the world junior team actually being freed to go play? Wow! Tired here so names not coming to mind at the moment, but I am sure you can think of a few.

It would be complete devastation of every team. A walk. I think Tyler Myers is still even eligible for that team no? Tavares? Can't think clearly now. A cyberpal of mine who lives in Vancouver where you are, and is the biggest hockey fan in the known universe, can recite it like you would not believe. He listed the players the other day off the top of his head and it was mind blowing.

[Pyramid Power]

"It used to be a bohemian paradise. You used to be able to walk downtown between bars on 6th street and carry your beer with you." Hilarious.

Not quite what I would consider a bohemian paradise, but by Texan standards I guess that does qualify.

Been lucky enough to bounce all over the globe, and man, my two or three drives thru Texas were unforgettable even by say, Saudi Arabian standards, lol. Was down in Dallas for some Rangers-Jays games in 1992. Toronto to Austin - culture shock! Possibly even more shocking than Toronto to Shanghai. Nah.

I am kind of partial to rural pastoral Vermont, Maine, New Hampshire etc.... States with four seasons. Oregon is gorgeous too. Loved Wyoming and can well imagine why Harrison Ford lives there. Never forget the sight of wild horses running in fields near the highways of Wyoming near the little town of Chugwater not far from Cheyenne.

I will stop now. Feeling homesick enough as it is being so far from home during this Xmas season.

[Pyramid Power]

I just noticed that Colton Orr leads the Leafs in plus/minus at +1. Sopel leads the Thrashers at +11.

Gawd, are we ever horrible!

[gettingcozywithsarkozy]

Alas, you have uncovered me for what I am. Republican I am not, as I am not an american citizen and do not vote. Conservative I am. Now can you PROGRESSIVES find it in your hearts to TOLERATE that, put aside our differences and unite in what we enjoy MORE (I hope I am correct in assuming this) than politics (i.e. Leafs) or are you the same as those you condemn for a lack of tolerance and understanding? Yes, I know the star is a liberal outlet (as is 99.9999% of media out there), alas, I revert back to my earlier hope: that we can get along in weeping/cheering for the blue and white. The game is less than an hour away...

VM Replies: 40 minutes until Lebda starts deking Thrashers out of their jocks. And is The Star really a liberal paper? Nobody tells me anything around here.

[Pyramid Power]

Despite your flaws Senor Sarkozy we WILL TOLERATE you in the good name of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Yuk, yuk.

GO LEAFS GO! Time to start stream searching.

[gettingcozywithsarkozy]

"Will just say censorship is very alive and very well in the PRC." ....ain't communism great?

It seems as though the Star isn't far behind as I am still waiting for a post from nearly an hour ago to appear. However, I'm sure it might take a while -- read forever -- as it might incite some controversy (even though it is much more tasteful than some of the posts above) as it goes against the views of this "elitist" paper as PP calls it.

VM Replies: No! I approved your comment right away. But it's on the next page so you have to hit the two microscopic blue arrows at the bottom of the comments. For some reason, this software will only display 100 comments per page. And the navigation icon is laughably ridiculous. I tried to leave a note at the bottom of Moe's last comment (which was the 100th comment in the thread). Sorry about the confusion.

[moe green]

@gettingcozywithsarkozy

Do you really think The Star is a liberal paper. Look more closely. It's 2-0 and i haven't started to watch the game yet. Please fire somebody.

[Pyramid Power]

Sickening. Just waiting for the football game to start now and killing time. 2-0. Blech!

The Leafs are truly a wretched excuse for an NHL squad.

GOLF LEAFS GOLF!

[moe green]

So anyone here still think Wilson's doing his job?

[TG77]

Oh good lord, 2-0 already. Back to work for me before I break down mentally. I suppose the only possible good thing is Burke's hand might be forced to can Wilson if this turns out as ugly as it has begun.

VM Replies: Brutal.

[Hoofheartz]

Awesome start by the Leafs. Way to get them motivated Ronnie. Game is 6 minutes old, shouldn't Ronnie be juggling lines by now? How about Komisarek between Orr and Beauchmin.

[Peter]

Don't worry Vinay, Leafs aren't really cursed yet. They won't be until Jim Basille finally buys the Isles, or Panthers or Thrashers or Preds or Sabres or Glendale Debt Monsters and moves them to the Southern Ontario. Then the Leafs will finally be cursed as no one will remember why they bothered to cheer for the Blue & White in the first place.

[moe green]

Wow, was that Phaneuf who tried to give the game away at the end? Nasty.

[moe green]

I know Hoof, and how often does this have to happen before Wilson is blamed?

[Pyramid Power]

An old friend Freddy Modin opened up the scoring. Good for him. Sigh.

Leafs had the better of the play after they woke up. Need to get Killer Gilmour into the game. He's in the stands, gear up Killer and get out there!

Better yet: go for a job interview with BB as the new coach of the Leafs. I see Killer coaching this team someday.
Doing a good job with the Kingston Canadiens this year in the O. Just a matter of time for Dougie!

Cozy We love ya man. No more politik. Was just joshing except for the China moving into position as top dog in the world bit. That is indisputable. 1.3 billion hard working, committed Chinese will make that happen along with the Party here despite their myriad flaws.

And that will conclude all political discussion on my part.

See if the Leafs can come back in this game. Hope so.

[gettingcozywithsarkozy]

my only comfort right now is watching the penguins lead 2-0 in their game. Sid's streak is now at 21 games... atta boy! (btw... I know it's off [Leaf] topic, but has anyone watching the penguins lately been noticing that Malkin has been hogging the puck from Sid for the last few games now? It's like I'm watching Sergei Berezin all over again)

[moe green]

I'd have rather seen Stevey Y and Killer than the Burke and Wilson.

[We BeLeaf]

I saw Killer in the stands. Get him out there damnit! There's a guy who can turn a game around in one shift. Seeing him again brings back so many great memories. OK, back to the game and hopefully we can score one this period.

[moe green]

So if I'm king of the Leafs:

No more composite sticks. Or you get one, you break it, it's back to wood.

No passes over 30 feet.

Kaberle must shoot every second pass on PP

Kessel is now a setup man - no more shooting

No morning skates

No bag skates

You don't give 100% - you don't play

[moe green]

See a powerplay like that is all coaching. They are completely lost out there. Either that or they aren't playing for Wilson.

[moe green]

Man Phaneuf's gotta start hitting the net. It's gotten absurd. High and wide? no excuse. If you miss low it's not bad.

[Leaf shredder / Kid Delicious]

What a game. I have never seen so much effort wasted. The Leafs are skating like crazy tonight but don't have a clue what they are doing or where they are going. This would be hilarious if it weren't so pathetic. It's hard to believe these guys are NHL caliber hockey players. They have been outplayed from the first puck drop.
Ron Wilson must be regretting the day he said yes to coaching the Leafs. This will ruin his career. What a mess!
Burke, I love you! (A die-hard HABS fan)

[moe green]

Bufflin: 2 mins for being big

[moe green]

MacArthur's gonna be good.

[moe green]

Mitchell actually scored. he must have tried to miss the net.

VM Replies: Oh, man. You're killing me tonight.

[Pyramid Power]

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!

MITCHELL DID SOMETHING!!!

2-1. JONI MITCHELL IS IN THE HOUSE!

GO LEAFS GO!

[moe green]

trouble is now mitchell will be around until 2014

[Leaf shredder / Kid Delicious]

They scored! The Leafs have won the cup!!! Can you believe it? What? I'm where? Hades....where is that? Ahhhh...now this all makes sense.

VM Replies: Well, at least you didn't go with Dante's Inferno. Deep down, I think you kind of like us.

[TG77]

Mitchell with his 1st and while this is no time to harp on the guy but 1 goal dude? Really??? Why does Wilson bump him up to the 1st line when they aren't generating offence. Anyone else remember Mitchell giving us some glimmer or hope a few years back in a game against the Rangers when the leafs scored 5 goals in the 3rd? He was all over the ice, outskating, outhitting, hustling. I agree with the points about forcing Kabs to shoot and forcing phaneuf to sacrifice speed for a bit of accuracy. Good thing he is not a surgeon or a sniper or a lot of innocent people would die! Okay boys, you don't play for nearly a week, get this done and at least get a point.

Too bad the Leafs didn't tank a few years back and get at least as high as 4th. Kane is going to be great. And this is no slag on Kadri because a number of guys in that draft have not panned out and very few are in the league. Tie it up on the PP boys!

[We BeLeaf]

OK, at least we got a goal, but Modin got one back. Too bad you never played like that when you were a Leaf. Anyway let's see if they can pour it on for the 3rd period like we know they can. Come on Santa, give us a win before Jesus' birthday!
Go Leafs Go!

VM Replies: Love how you are always positive. Wish I could be more like you!

[moe green]

This is it. This could be the last period of meaningful hockey for the season. At least until Wilson is fired.

VM Replies: I think it's already over, kind sir.

[moe green]

K so, it's 4-1, if they don't come back, that's it for me until Wilson is fired or they win four in a row. I can't take it anymore. This is the end. Good, wilson pulls the plug on gustavsson just a little too late. I know what I want for christmas - a new team or a new coach. Happy holidays all.

[moe green]

I just gotta add: Does anyone here seriously believe that this team is well coached? I'd really love to hear some answers. It is clear to me that this team has absolutely quit on Wilson. No team is this bad accidentally. Please respond.

VM Replies: I'm currently yanking out my hair and unable to respond to your question.

[moe green]

You know nearly everyone was on Kaberle's side when the season started. Nearly everyone. Now, I could care less. If anything, I want him to walk for nothing and star for another team. What has happened to the Leafs. I say it's pure coaching. The players have decided to get rid of Wilson. It's what I would do if I hated him. I think they are smart enough to be doing it. That's why Burke sent Nonis down to talk to them. He essentially told them it wosn't going to work. The players clearly differed.

[moe green]

Comeback... with meekness.

[moe green]

Oh oh...

[gettingcozywithsarkozy]

(sigh) what to say? Pens are up 5-1. Crosby has 3 pts and whoaaa... Malkin with 5 points!

[waffles2010]

NIce posts on this thread. They are trying to kill us, Vinay. Some questions, why is Tim Brent playing? Same goes for Orr, Mitchell, Lebda, Komisarek. These guys can't be in the pressbox once? There are 6 minutes left in the game, and now they start playing. Where were they for the first 3 minutes of the game?. I have never in all my years seen a team this unprepared to play every game. Wilson seems to me to have no plan. Is it really time to plan for next year? I love the Leafs so much, but they are killing me.

VM Replies: You win the award for best screen name!

[moe green]

Wilson's like a confidence vampire. He's killing Kadri. He's killing Gustavsson. He's destroyed Kessel. He's killing this team.

[We BeLeaf]

Moe, I said the same thing almost exactly one year ago and people chastised me for it, so I just figured I would give him the benefit of the doubt. BB says he's not going anywhere, Nonis told the players he's not going anywhere. So maybe using reverse psychology if enough people say he's not going anywhere could it mean he's on his last straw?

[moe green]

K there's five minutes left. I am sure they are going to come back.

[waffles2010]

Thank the hockey gods for Kulemin, MacCarthur and Grabbo. If we had 3 guys who could be our top line we'd be golden. Anyone remember Molson Golden? It was the best beer. I miss drinking it. Being drunk makes the game go faster, also lessens the pain in pulling out your hair Vinay.

[waffles2010]

5 to 3 go leafs go. Can we get them to play a period in the dressing room before 7pm. We could then start playing at the same time. GO LEAFS GO. C'mon everyone we seem to lack some positivity on this board. Lets go!

[moe green]

Yeah, mitchell on the PP. Please. Fire wilson!

[moe green]

Agreed WeBeLeaf. Kaberle is useless now. He's dead to us. He has no clue out there. Wilson has killed him too. I think Burke knows the team has quit on Wilson and he's trying to bully them. He's a stubborn guy. Guess what. The players are going to win.

[We BeLeaf]

Thanks for nothing Santa. Was it too much even for you to give us a win? Now I have to suffer listening to those 2 morons, Kypreos and Watters tell us how bad the Leafs are, how inept they are, how they are outclassed! I told my kids not leave milk and cookies, but soggy Eggo waffles and half bottle of beer with a cigarette in it, you son of a b*tch....
Cheers

[moe green]

Okay now my wise feathered friends, I'd really like to get some feedback. I think this team - or significant numbers of them - have quit on Wilson. It's obvious that Kaberle doesn't care anymore. It's clear that Kessel isn't trying. Same for Bozak, Versteeg and others. They want him gone and they have won. I thin that guys like MacArthur, Grabovski and Kulemin are still playing, but that's it. I think Phaneuf is in the group too. There is no other explanation. No team can be this consistantly bad. I think that when Burke sent Nonis in to talk to them, he was essentially saying that he knew what was going on and that it wouldn't work. I think that Burke is playing hard ball with the players right now and saying "fine, I can wait you out. But how can you wait out contracts like: Versteeg, Kessel, Phaneuf, Kaberle, Komisarek? You can't. What do u think? Am I nuts. Regardless, am I right?

[Hoofheartz]

This is so beyond painful I can hardly come up with something to describe my disgust with this team. Thank God the Juniors were beating the crap out of Switzerland in an exhibition game on TSN2. At least they looked like they had a clue, a system and desire. Says here they could beat the Leafs. Easily.

[moe green]

I think I could get interested in the team again if Wilson was fired.

[Simmer]

@Moe
Can't say I really agree with you on the coach. While I don't think he's done anything spectacular, this team could have the late Roger Neilson behind the bench and the results would probably be pretty much the same. There is so much more than the coach wrong with the team.

[80s Leafs]

Loved the Molson Golden reference. That's the from the 80s, baby! Drank it once. Never again!
Yes, Moe, this team is horridly coached. Thank God the Boxing Day game from NJ is only on Leafs TV so I don't get sucked into the deadly-quicksand-vortex of sitting and watching this horrorshow team again that night, when they will again fall behind early and not be able to recover.
Their own fans throwing waffles at them. If management cannot/does not feel embarrassed by the losing and the fan reaction, then I really don't know what to say anymore.

[moe green]

Thanks for the responses guys!

[gettingcozywithsarkozy]

argh... morning after always sucks. The lack of effort there is really killing me. Oh and who can figure out this "shredder" guy, does he actually waste time going on other teams' forums not only to post every now and then, but actually puts forth the effort to do so during a live game? Atleast I can enjoy the next few days before the Leafs play another game and I am glued to the laptop screen as if by magic, not being able to move even though there is little hope for a good performance.

....Thank God for the juniors!!!

VM Replies: Dark days.

[BD]

This is why I haven't watched a game unless I was already at the bar in two years....

It will only change when fans show their mortification and disengagement by watching something else and not going to games.