Game 35: Slowly vanishing into a black hole

There's a pop-punk band out of Fargo called Wasted Effort. Maybe they're intergalactic travelers from the future and their name was inspired by tonight's soul-sucking loss.

Oh, man.

This one hurt more than usual, which is strange given the number of times those magnificent poor Leaf bastards have kicked us in the teeth. This one felt like we're slowly vanishing into a black hole, which is also strange since we've been lost in space for most of this season.

Break out the vodka and the banjos. Here we go again.

A conversation I had with my wife about 30 minutes ago:

Her: "Who won?"
Me: *Staring silently at my computer screen*
Her: "Oh. That's too bad. Are the Leafs the worst team in the universe?"
Me: "League. Honey, it's called a league, not the universe."
Her: "Sorry. Are they the worst team in the league?"
Me: "No."
Her: "One of the worst?"
Me: "I guess."
Her: "So then why are you always so surprised when they lose?"
Me: *Staring silently at my computer screen*

When we were kids we used to add a diabolical twist to dodgeball. Sometimes, for no good reason beyond diabolical, a kid was blindfolded.

I remember being that kid a few times.

It was horrible. I would rapidly move back and forth – two stutter-steps to the left, a lunge to the right – in a desperate attempt to avoid getting nailed with a ball I could not see.

I remember flailing my arms and pathetically sniffing the air like a drug dog at the airport, hoping to somehow smell the ball before it smashed into my skull. I remember flinching spontaneously and feeling profoundly vulnerable.

In other words, I looked a lot like Jonas "Goose Goat" Gustavsson did tonight. Head swiveling around. Ducking against phantom threats. Never quite sure where to stand. Hoping to somehow smell the puck before it smashed into the back of the net.

When Carolina scored the winning goal at 14:49 of the third, all I could think was: "Again? The Leafs outplay, outshoot and out-chance their opponents and they're going to lose because our goalie got beat by their goalie? Really?"

For crying out loud, let this James Reimer kid get the start on Thursday. By default, he's earned it. And if nothing else, it will give us something new to discuss before the inevitable vodka and the banjos and the searing pain.

Two goals by Phil Kessel... wasted. Another solid game by Mikhail Grabovski… wasted. A strong forecheck... wasted. Two power play goals... wasted. A surprising and admirable amount of energy considering the blizzard-related travel snafus over the past 72 hours... wasted.

Thanks to this wasted effort, the Leafs are now 12 points out of a playoff spot. And we are now floating through the zero-gravity blackness toward a point of no return.

MAIN PHOTO: NASA/CXC/MIT AND F.K.BAGANOFF/GETTY IMAGES

Comments

[Pyramid Power]

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!

KULEMIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great play by Boyce chipping it ahead to MacArthur, quality dangling by Mac and Kulemin finished. 1-0 for the good guys.

YES!

Now buckle down defensively and get out of this period with a lead.

GO LEAFS GO!

[We BeLeaf]

Game tied by Huselius as soon as I posted the Leaf goal. Alright at least we're not coming from behind

VM Replies: You have been preaching about the importance of first goals. Now we have to get them to stop giving up goals within 2 minutes after scoring.

[Pyramid Power]

TG77. channelsurfing.net

Horrific giveaway by Kaberle. Could not keep the lead for a freakin' minute. Pathetic.

Make a clutch save will ya Goose? Dammit!

[We BeLeaf]

@ TG77 I couldn't get the athde feed either, so I went to www.channelsurfing.net

[Pyramid Power]

Crabb lost a faceoff and nearly resulted in a goal because of weak defensive play by Phaneuf and Beauchemin. Huselius almost had his second there.

Crabb made up for that faceoff loss though with a good rush. Thought he should have shot before he got ridden into the boards for a penalty on Klesla.

See if we can score on this PP before the period ends.

GO LEAFS GO!

[We BeLeaf]

PP Goal by Bozak! Assist by Kessel and period comes to an end.

OK boys we have the lead, let's hold it

[TG77]

Thanks guys. Perfect timing. Just saw one Tyler Bozak pop one home. Wooot. Off to get champagne for a NYEE party tonight. Wow, that was not a very comfortable final few seconds around the Leafs net there to end the period.

[Pyramid Power]

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!

BOZAK! YES! YES!

Huge goal on the PP to end the period. 2-1.

Now let' get our defensive poop together Toronto. Split up Beauchemin and Phaneuf. They are wretched together. Give all of our defencemen a vicious tongue lashing Ronnie. Well, I think Gunner and Schenn have looked good.

[We BeLeaf]

Nice interview on Reimer during the intermission. This kid still has a smile ear to ear. Let's hope Wilson sees fit to give this kid a start before he inevitably gets sent down to the Marlies after Giggy comes back.

[Pyramid Power]

We BeLeaf It is atdhe.net brother. That should be good too gents.

Hope you enjoy the champagne and NY Eve Eve party TG77. Make merry and hope the Leafs add to the festivities with a victory.

GO LEAFS GO!

[Pyramid Power]

I am hoping Giggy does not come back, and the doctors diagnose that a hernia operation is necessary We BeLeaf.

Reimer is a good kid isn't he? Why he has not played one minute in the NHL is beyond me. Would he have saved that breakaway by Huselius? We will never know, but I want to see him play and soon. Give him the start on national TV in Ottawa on Saturday Ronnie.

VM Replies: He should start Saturday for sure. Great kid. He did get 14 minutes of NHL play against Atlanta in the third period last week. But he deserves a start.

[Pyramid Power]

Jumpin' Jack Flash by the Stones a decent tune. Need more quality tunes with great starts like that.

Should start all games against the Wings with 'Panic in Detroit' by Bowie. Awesome start to the tune. What is going on with your music research Vinay?

VM Replies: It's on my To-Do list. Not enough hours in a week... sigh. We should also start a list of songs to listen to on game days.

[Pyramid Power]

Take the icing there. Good job clearing it for a stoppage in play Goose.

Like Crabb's energy tonight.

[Pyramid Power]

Thanks for letting me know that Vinay. Must have missed that. Well, obviously I did. Yes, we should all get together on this blog and get some musical ideas going.

Lost the faceoff. Giveaway. The usual suspects tonight - Beauchemin and Phaneuf on the ice and it is 2-2 with Huselius scoring his second. Break this freakin' pair up Ronnie. They smell tonight.

[Pyramid Power]

In fairness to Beauchemin was there a bad bounce on that second goal by Huselius? My stream is starting to get choppy.

VM Replies: Yeah, weird bounce that went off boards and then hit his skate.

[Pyramid Power]

Let's win this one for Grabovski and their newborn!

GO LEAFS GO!

[waffles2010]

Lets keep it positive guys, don't wanna anger the Culoman. If we don't play Phaneuf and Beuchemin, we are stuck with Komi or Lebda. No one wants that. We need to nickname Komisarek, the United Way. As in more charitable than. On second thought perhaps the philanthropist. As for the musical interlude, how about (Can't get no) Satisfaction, by the Stones?

VM Replies: A bit of vodka just shot out of my mouth.

[Pyramid Power]

Versteeg invisible tonight. Get it going Kristopher. Leafs have to get it going this period. Not getting shots or chance and missing passes.

Come on guys. More energy, more jump, more net presence. I like that net presence line.

GO LEAFS GO! Get one before the end of this period. This game moving very, very quickly.

[waffles2010]

Sorry about that Vinay. It's a crime to waste booze. Don't drop a lemon square either.

[Pyramid Power]

Ha ha ha! Good one Waffles or good ones. Stay with us will ya?

[Pyramid Power]

Beauchemin paired with Schenn to end the period. Is Ronnie listening to us?

Not a good period by Toronto. Hopefully they come out with a lot more energy, competence and pure desire to win this hockey game.

No goals Goose. NONE!

GO LEAFS GO! Wasting good booze is a criminal offence Vinay. I am not sure if it should be an indictable or simply a summary offence. What think you Waffles?

[waffles2010]

I try to check in when I can. PP, thanks for the hospitality, most of the time someone is able to make my points for me, so I just follow along. I do love the blog, I read it first thing every day, wouldn't miss it.

[Pyramid Power]

We BeLeaf Tampa just tied it against Montreal. 1-1 in Tampa. Hope this is an utterly perfect night.

GO LEAFS GO!

GO LIGHTNING!

[waffles2010]

PP my friends and I call Versteeg, Phil Kessel lite. They do a lot of the same things, just Kessel is better at it.

[Pyramid Power]

Let's end 2010 on a high note Toronto. Come on guys. Just get it done.

[waffles2010]

PP, Summary for vodka indictable for Crown Royal.

[waffles2010]

3rd period. here we go. let's get a couple. no more softies goose. GO LEAFS GO

[Pyramid Power]

Another giveaway by Beauchemin. You owe Goose dinner Francois.

Holding call against Crabb. Let's kill this.

Ex-Leaf Kubina scored to make it 2-1 Tampa against Montreal. This is looking good, but gotta win this period Toronto. Kill this penalty please. Thank you.

[Pyramid Power]

Inevitable that Toronto born and bred superstar Rick Nash would score. Bummer. See if we can get this tied up.

[Pyramid Power]

Has Mason had to make any decent saves over the past 30 minutes of this hockey game? Get some energy and some shots Toronto!

Do it for Grabbo, his girl and their baby for godness sic sakes!

GO LEAFS GO!

VM Replies: They had 3 shots in the second period. One shot so far in the third.

[waffles2010]

This team gives me a headache, could be the Crown Royal too. Damn is it tasty with a splash of Coke. Last game Staal took us to the woodshed, tonite Rick Nash. Tough save for goose to make on the goal, but he needs to start making a big save now and again. He was earlier this season. c'mon boys lets get it back, don't quit GO LEAFS GO

[waffles2010]

I agree PP Mason has been a non-factor today. I don't remember one big save he has had to make.

[Pyramid Power]

Phew. Phaneuf took a slashing penalty and we are lucky to be where we are which is down by one. Who can score to tie this up?

I am looking at you Phil Kessel. Time for you to shine. Or Versteeg. Get this tied.

GO LEAFS GO!

[waffles2010]

Vinay, Greg Millen says they are tired from the travel earlier in the week. He says they are human you know. 2 games in 4 days, what a complete pile of **** pro athletes with nothing else to do should not have that as an excuse ever. I don't care if they had to walk home from the airport.

VM Replies: I actually laughed out loud when he invoked the "human" excuse.

[Pyramid Power]

Nice pass by Kaberle except it was right on an enemy stick. Consider yourself very fortunate that that was not the kill goal by Columbus. Amazing. And amazing in not a good way obviously.

[waffles2010]

Poor tired millionaires, we should feel sorry for them I guess. What's next, stress leave because their boss is mean to them in the media?

[Pyramid Power]

Good chance for Versteeg three feet away. Could not find the twine though.

Waffles So true. I am beginning to hate Greg Millen and wish he was not one of our home announcers. He is such a complete downer.

See if we can tie this and end the year on a high note.

GO LEAFS GO!

[waffles2010]

Kaberle falls down at the Columbus blue line 2 on 1 the other way. Save by the goose. GO LEAFS GO

[waffles2010]

Last minute of play in the 3rd period. goose on the bench.

[waffles2010]

Armstrong misses the open net. My god how do u miss that.

[waffles2010]

I already hate Greg Millen. I like it when the games are on CBC or TSN.

[waffles2010]

Good night PP, Good night Vinay.

VM Replies: Pleasant dreams, Dr. Waffles. Thanks for keeping us company.

[Pyramid Power]

Another devastating loss. I don't know what to say. Decent effort I suppose.

HAPPY NEW YEAR LEAFS FANS!

[Pyramid Power]

At least I am drunk and the Canadiens are losing 4-1 to Tampa.

Will just start cheering for the Canadiens to continue losing. If we aren't going to make the playoffs then gawd do I hope Montreal doesn't either.

Don't know how Army missed that but does it matter? We have almost no net presence. Just not a good hockey team and showed it tonight. Oh well.

GOLF LEAFS GOLF!

[Alecia]

Vinay, just have mercy on us.

Could handle the loss on Tuesday but this game was a tough one to swallow, good effort or not.

VM Replies: Another tough one, no question. At least on Tuesday, it was a wasted effort. This one was just a waste of time, for them and us.

[Alecia]

Well at least maybe this will quell any stupid Grabo-trades rumors. It's obvious that he is totally indispensable to the team and if we or Burke didn't see it before, everyone sees it now.

Seriously wondering what the score would have been if we had our top player in our top line? He always seems to be able to generate plays and score when it matters most.

[Alecia]

Oh and for the record:

Mikhail Grabovski and his girlfriend Kate welcomed their baby daughter Lily into the world tonight at 8:30pm.

VM Replies: Thanks for the update!

[TG77]

How is the post-game report going Vinay? It's beer o'clock here in Vancouver. I am not sure what changes are coming but they have to help the cause. This team is not as good as the 4-0 start suggested but I honestly don't think they are bad as the current record would suggest, right? They aren't this bad are they? Anyway, I am totally cool with their record because the Hockey News and various other experts predicted this for the Leafs. Kidding.

VM Reply: As you celebrate NYEE with beer in Vancouver, a single tear sits on my cheek here in Toronto.

[Alecia]

Vinay... are you obligated to blog after EVERY game?

Maybe we all need a rest.

VM Replies: Look at what this team is doing to you! We can't rest! We have to fight through this! (Just posted my game review.)