Game 36: Flatliners
Let's begin with some good news for a change: Congratulations to Mikhail Grabovski and his partner Kate on the birth of their daughter.
Lily Grabovski arrived this evening around 8:30 p.m. Mikhail, I hope you cracked a smile in the delivery room. I hope you didn't react to this fantastic life moment the way you normally react to the fantastic goals you've scored this season.
Doctor: "Mr. Grabovski, congratulations! You have a little girl. Everything looks great. Do you want to hold her?"
Grabovski: "Not now. No. Thank you. I happy but now I go to bench in hospital waiting room to quietly think about scoring next baby."
Around the time Lily was entering the world, her father's colleagues were departing it.
Maybe they were tired of trying really, really hard only to lose in the end. Maybe they wanted to demonstrate "sleepwalking" to Mikhail so he's mentally prepared for the next few months of 2 a.m. feedings and diaper changes.
Whatever the reasons, the Leafs did the opposite of trying really, really hard and losing. They didn't try at all.
But in a tragic twist ending, they still lost.
It was just like the 1990 movie, Flatliners. But instead of medical students conducting scary experiments with clinical death, we watched as professional athletes conducted scary experiments with hockey death.
These included (but were not limited to): The Do Not Shoot The Puck For Several Minutes At A Time Experiment. The Do Not Forecheck Experiment. The Do Not Pick Up Your Man In The Defensive Zone Experiment. And even The Daydream About Anything Other Than The Game You Are Currently Playing Experiment.
When I look at the publicity shot above this post, I don't see Julia Roberts, Oliver Platt, Kiefer Sutherland, William Baldwin and Kevin Bacon. I swear to God, I see Kaberle, Beauchemin, Sjostrom, Mitchell and then a second Kaberle!
The Leafs do not play again in 2010. I guess that qualifies as more good news. People, the year is finally, mercifully over. Raise your champagne glasses and nibble on a lemon square. We survived the Leafs' flatlining and can now pray for a resurrection miracle in the weeks and months ahead.
Yes, appropriately, tonight's dismal performance marked the end of a dismal calendar year in which the richest franchise in the NHL showcased a piss-poor record of 29 wins, 39 losses and 9 other setbacks in overtime or a shootout.
You know, even through the gloomiest moments this season, there were positives upon which we could cast an optimistic eye. Not tonight. My guess is even the ultra-positive, super-loyal commenter Nik Culoman watched this game while pressing a butter knife against his jugular.
How can we cast optimistic eyes when our eyes are bloodshot from the relentless giveaways, the lack of break-out plays, the botched passing in the neutral zone, the anemic attack, the miscommunication and, holy bloody hell, the missed shots?
There was a moment tonight in which a few Blue Jackets swarmed Kris Versteeg after a whistle. The play was stopped when he fired a high slapshot off the glass after taking a hand pass. They seemed to think this was an act of provocation.
Honestly, I was tempted to text someone on the Columbus bench: Dudes, chill out! Versteeg was not head-hunting Steve Mason! Don't you idiots know – he always shoots high or wide!
After tonight, the Leafs are now averaging 2.28 goals per game, which is fourth worst in the league. After tonight, the Leafs now have 942 faceoff wins, which is third worst in the league. After tonight, the Leafs now have 288 missed shots at home, which is second worst in the league.
When they are outshot by opponents, as they were tonight, they have a .353 wining percentage, which is also second worst in the league.
More good news: At least we're not the worst in any of these categories?
Thank goodness for baby Lily. Without her, there would be nothing to celebrate as we say good riddance to 2010 and hope for new life in 2011.
This game is the death rattle of this Sens team. It's over for them.
Posted by: no moe blue | 01/01/2011 at 08:22 PM
I know, I'm thinking the same thing. Who are these boys blocking shots, forechecking??? Maybe my New Years wishes were heard.... :)
VM Replies: Happy New Year, oakville_girl.
Posted by: oakville_girl | 01/01/2011 at 08:23 PM
Hey Vinay, when the Leafs are winning big, like tonight. Do you ever wish they would slow down scoring, goals because they could use them in the next game?
VM Replies: You're killing me tonight.
Posted by: waffles2010 | 01/01/2011 at 08:24 PM
Twice so far, Cole has said Boyce is playing his second game. Was it just my imagination when he was called up two years ago, and it isn't his third tonight? Cole doesn't make mistakes on simple facts like that, does he? Twice in a two-minute span on the same basic stat?
Posted by: KD | 01/01/2011 at 08:29 PM
I'm here all week, take my wife please. Try the veal. Best I can do in a family newspaper. As soon as Carkner and Orr go at it, I'm gonna watch Pittsburgh and Washington. You?
VM Replies: I'm sticking with Leafs. Winter Classic on PVR in the morning.
Posted by: waffles2010 | 01/01/2011 at 08:32 PM
I had a bizarre dream two weeks ago that in the New Year, the Leafs would say "just kidding, you guys" and go on to win every single game all the way to the Cup.
o.o
VM Replies: You have been psychic in the past. But let me ask you something: On the night of this dream, were you drinking?
Posted by: Tom | 01/01/2011 at 08:34 PM
OK boys, 5 to nothing so far. Good job Leafs! I know it's still early in the game, but I hope they get Reimer the goose egg.
Go Leafs Go!
Posted by: We BeLeaf | 01/01/2011 at 08:34 PM
KD, Bob tries his best. Just like your old slippers, they aren't in great shape, and you're not sure why you still have them but you do, so you wear them. but yes Boyce has played before this year.
Posted by: waffles2010 | 01/01/2011 at 08:37 PM
I think everyone predicted that Sens goal the moment Beau stepped into the penalty box.
Posted by: Tom | 01/01/2011 at 08:38 PM
...and so much for the shutout. I can't believe they gave up another 2 man advantage
Posted by: We BeLeaf | 01/01/2011 at 08:39 PM
Love the PVR Vinay, except for sports. I never get to see the game before I see the score. Since I know how the game ends I lose motivation to watch. I won't mention the game tonight.
Posted by: waffles2010 | 01/01/2011 at 08:41 PM
k i've got people over so i gotta go, they better win this BIG!
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 08:51 PM
When my comfy slippers get too worn out, I toss them and get a new pair. Cole was great in his prime, but should have put down the mic about 10 years ago.
Posted by: KD | 01/01/2011 at 09:00 PM
Trade offers being made for Versteeg. I say yeah. Doesn't do a lot, and the mouthguard hanging out bugs the crap outta me.
Posted by: waffles2010 | 01/01/2011 at 09:04 PM
I was sort of torn on the PP that led to the Ottawa goal - on the plus side, it meant that Komi and Blowchemin couldn't do any damage on the ice. The down side was that even the Sens couldn't blow two 5-on-3 PPs.
Posted by: KD | 01/01/2011 at 09:14 PM
IS my prediction of the biggest Leaf win this year good? Was the previous best 4-1 v these Sens?
VM Replies: They need one more goal to make this most lopsided game of season. The score in that Sens game (second of the season) was 5-1 Leafs, same as right now.
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 09:17 PM
KD, getting rid of things that are no longer performing as desired does not sound like something a Leaf fan should ever be involved in.
Posted by: waffles2010 | 01/01/2011 at 09:18 PM
What is Reimer's nickname?
Posted by: Vinay Menon | 01/01/2011 at 09:26 PM
Vinay, as far as I'm concerned it should be "plays the next game"
Posted by: waffles2010 | 01/01/2011 at 09:28 PM
Why would you say that, Waffles? Are you referring to the Leafs themselves? They are performing exactly as expected. Desired? Maybe not, but after 47 years, mediocrity seems a lofty enough goal for me.
Posted by: KD | 01/01/2011 at 09:28 PM
anybody know anything else about the versteeg rumours? what team is interested? who might be coming to T.O.? anything?
Posted by: palbo | 01/01/2011 at 09:28 PM
OMG Neil fights Orr. I am shocked. I take back what I said about him before.
Posted by: waffles2010 | 01/01/2011 at 09:31 PM
This fighting thing is barbaric, in poor taste and demonstrates poor sportsmanship. It's adolescent at best. Psychotic at worst. Way past it's sell by date. Oh yeah, and does little aside from drag the game out.
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 09:32 PM
Reimer's Nickname? How about "the Monster?"
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 09:34 PM
No,"Gooose"
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 09:34 PM
Or Waffles, how about "the future"
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 09:35 PM
Toronto Maple Sens
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 09:36 PM
Sorry, Ottawa Maple Sens
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 09:38 PM
KD, yes I was referring to the Leafs themselves, we are a loyal bunch. Both to our hockey team and our slippers or announcers. I will not be happy until our magnificent Leaf bastards win the Stanley Cup. All they said on the hot stove was there was a trade offer for Versteeg that they had to think about. No team was mentioned.
Posted by: waffles2010 | 01/01/2011 at 09:39 PM
Watched Black Swan today. Mesmerizing performance by Natalie Portman. Will win the Oscar. Loved her since her performance in the excellent "the Professional."
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 09:41 PM
Can't forget her "Evey" in "V for Vendetta." Still this one's her best work.
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 09:42 PM
moe green, the future works for me, Rynnas might have something to say about it perhaps. How was the Mila Kunis, Natalie Portman scene ?
Posted by: waffles2010 | 01/01/2011 at 09:44 PM
Wow, six or eight more consecutive like this and we'll be six or eight points out of a playoff spot.
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 09:45 PM
How about Versteeg for Natalie Portman... or Mila Kunis. Okay, back to hockey, sorry.
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 09:47 PM
I haven't given up on the Leafs at all. Although this season is a write-off I do think they are headed in the right direction. It will just take them time to get there - that, and a coach who can teach. I think Wilson is a good coach, he's just not the coach that this particular team needs at this point in its development.
Posted by: KD | 01/01/2011 at 09:48 PM
Good win Leafs! You could see the big smile through Reimer's mask. Although he wasn't really tested, let's see him in a few more games to see how he holds up. There is back to back games against the Blues, then Atlanta, so I hope he gets another shot.
Posted by: We BeLeaf | 01/01/2011 at 09:53 PM
Waffles it was brief but lovely. Those kind of scenes are usually a welcome distraction if you can interpret my vagueness.
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 09:55 PM
no moe green, I heard it was sensational, the confirmation is appreciated. Gotta convince the woman to go see that movie.
Posted by: waffles2010 | 01/01/2011 at 09:57 PM
This is going to hurt Gusty, I don't want to discredit Reimer at ALL because he was great too much, but the truth is, he didn't see too much quality action. I think Gusty could have won this too, but good that got a break. He needs it.
Posted by: Alecia | 01/01/2011 at 10:00 PM
Wow, I should stop drinking while commenting huh?
What I meant to say above was:
"I don't want to discredit Reimer at ALL because he was great, but the truth is, he didn't see too much quality action."
Posted by: Alecia | 01/01/2011 at 10:12 PM
Whoa.... are the men on here talking about Natalie Portman's performance in Black swan? huh?
Can we get back to hockey? Pretty please?
Posted by: Alecia | 01/01/2011 at 10:14 PM
It's actually somewhat of a chick flick Waffles but with the benefit of semi-explicit lesbianism. Make no mistake though, it's a ballet-based psycho thriller - and a good one.
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 10:24 PM
What other name do you go by Moe, Damien Cox?
Posted by: hoofheartz | 01/01/2011 at 11:01 PM
WOW! Will not be watching a minute of a game until we lose a game. I am pulling an Oakville Girl. Great game guys!
So happy for Reimer. Guys like that that struggle all their careers to get to the bigs deserve all the credit in the world. To the happy highlights at nhl.com
VM Replies: You vanished last night! Okay, I shall make a note of this: PP is now pulling an oakville_girl until the Leafs' undefeated streak in 2011 comes to an end. Moe, you're now doing play-by-play with Waffles next game.
Posted by: Pyramid Power | 01/01/2011 at 11:23 PM
Totally agree Alecia, Reimer wasn't really challenged. Surely they know that. Still, glad the guy didn't get pasted. Sorry for the diversion. Didn't think anyone was really listening.
Posted by: no moe green | 01/01/2011 at 11:27 PM
Ronnie W. further endearing himself to the media by calling them piranhas in his post-game comments.
Are you gonna stand for that Vinay?
VM Replies: I suppose piranha is better than bottom-feeder.
Posted by: Pyramid Power | 01/01/2011 at 11:30 PM
@Sarah The Hens fans who watches Glee and was born and bred in Hamilton God help her. Wrote a guest blog for us earlier this year.
How much did you enjoy that game? :)
Posted by: Pyramid Power | 01/01/2011 at 11:33 PM
Aaaahhhhhhhh all becomes clear now as to why we exploded offensively tonight: John Mitchell was in the press box where he belongs! Beautiful!
Posted by: Pyramid Power | 01/01/2011 at 11:38 PM
Okay, well now "five to one" by the Doors would definitely be the song of the evening. I missed the game entirely and in a strange coincidence it was to see Black Swan with the gf. Two consecutive misses for movie picks by the girlfriend- got dragged to love and other drugs a few weeks ago. Anyway, awesome to see the leafs win a "road" game. I may have to watch the replay after my girlfriend finishes watching Mama Mia. Ugh, these movies are killing me slowly. Here is to a win by our juniors tomorrow against the Swiss. It's going to be a tough road to the gold but it happened in Vancouver 2010 so it can happen again.
VM Replies: What is the deal with Black Swan in this thread? Hilarious.
Posted by: TG77 | 01/02/2011 at 01:38 AM
Oh and on almost a sad note, Marty Brodeur got pulled again tonight, 4 goals on 7 shots. I feel bad seeing him go down like this. I guess after living in NJ for 5 years and his work in the 2002 Olympics I have a bit of a soft spot; coincidentally, Brodeur has many soft spots i.e. five-hole, glove side, blocker side.
VM Replies: It is a tragic demise.
Posted by: TG77 | 01/02/2011 at 01:45 AM
Chris Neil declined Orr's invitation to dance the first time due to sore hands. The second time, late in the game, Orr, being such a great sportsman, gave Neil no choice.
At first it was like so many of Orr's fights, huge haymaker swings that look so good from a distance and pump up the crowd, though if they land at all, they land on the opponent's shoulder pads or helmet ---or even, like tonight, the glass atop the boards when a wise opponent ducks.
Neil, for his part, tends to shrug off the all-show-no-real-blow, simulated haymakers, picking his spots and being quietly effective with short, but hard, inside punches, with either hand.
HOWEVER, tonight Orr actually landed some BIG punches --- four straight rights to Neil's face. Much better than usual Orr, but it didn't stop the Bulldog who not only took the shots but came right back with his own.
By the way, the far-from-infallible Bob Cole made a bit of an error at the start of the fight, announcing that two big heavyweights were about to square off. Orr vs. Carkner is heavyweight against heavyweight. Orr vs. Neil is heavyweight against mediumweight, or if you prefer, given the size of Neil's warrior heart, heavyweight against light heavyweight. Whether anyone here will admit it or not, I think if you take off the rose (blue & white?) coloured glasses while viewing the replay of the fight that there's some truth to my analysis. (smile)
Posted by: Sensi-Bill | 01/02/2011 at 03:26 AM
Speaking of Bob Cole, he did something quite rare tonight. No, not make a mistake. Unbiased listeners know he makes plenty of those --- by commission and omission, alike.
No, what he did tonight was acknowledge an error and sorta apologize for it by humbly correcting himself. (He may be well past his Best-Before date, but I still respect this broadcasting legend.)
Late in the game, apparently so many dismayed (mildly depressed?) Ottawa fans had left the arena, it made it even harder for remaining Sens fans to drown out the noise of obviously delighted (a rare enough occurrence) Leaf fans with plenty to celebrate.
Bob made reference to the Ottawa fans booing Alfredsson.
Someone in the truck, or perhaps colour commentator (and Ottawa Valley boy) Gary Galley, must have whispered in his ear, because he soon, and rather smoothly, corrected himself.
"No, it's the Leaf fans booing Alfredsson every time he touches the puck. In all my life, (or words similar to this) I could never see Senator fans booing their Captain. Not given all he has done, and continues to do, for this team, off and on the ice."
This many hours after the fact, and given how poorly my frustratingly bad team once again played (i.e. the hockey-related depression I struggle against), I can't swear those words are exact, but I do solidly believe they capture the gist of what Bob said.
Given that it is Leaf fans who relentlessly boo Alfie, I find myself in agreement with Bob.
It truly amazes me that Leaf fans continue to boo such a classy veteran who has played over 1,000 games with the same team, displayed such a tremendous work ethic, shown solid leadership by example, and consistently displayed such amazing skill, which earned him Rookie of the Year honours his first season and has carried him, and this team, through the years of both adversity and success.
Only recently, Alfie currently being in his 38th year, has his aging body started to reduce slightly his combination of drive and skill.
I guess being booed is kind of a backhanded compliment, but it doesn't reflect well on those incapable of respecting a true gentleman and a great athlete.
I see Leaf fans tearing down Montreal fans for booing this, and booing that. Seems more than a little hypocritical when they boo a great player that they probably secretly have wished all along they'd had on their too often rudderless team.
Posted by: Sensi-Bill | 01/02/2011 at 04:07 AM
Yes I am a Sens fan and yes, now that I've stopped sobbing, I will proudly show my face here after a HUGELY embarrassing BLOW OUT! (sad smile)
I willingly and readily congratulate the Toronto Maple Leafs, and by extension their fans, on their impressive victory.
And because I genuinely like (most) Leaf fans --- which is why I like to visit here --- I care enough to proffer this cautionary warning: Remember that a lot of this loss by the Senators was pretty much self-inflicted.
Certainly celebrate the win. ALL wins are worth celebrating. And your team certainly played much better than they have in a tad too many other games.
But realize, as I think you do, that the current Senators are NOT a good team. Or at least are NOT playing like even a decent team.
Keep that in mind. You weren't facing a true contender. Beating this team is only a little more exciting, and significant, than beating another on-ice disaster, say like the going-nowhere New Jersey Devils.
(Yes, I am a loyal Senators fan but enough of a realist to admit that this current team is shockingly dysfunctional.)
Anyway, I take time to caution against reading too much into this victory because we all know what a roller coaster ride being a Leafs fan can be. In short, just don't let your expectations soar unreasonably high. As we fellow victims of hockey disappointment and misery well know, one step forward and two or three back can be REAL hard on a fan's system --- with or without lemon squares and alcohol-based beverages.
So heartfelt congratulations from the vanquished. Just don't let this one victory go to your head. (smile)
Posted by: Sensi-Bill | 01/02/2011 at 04:32 AM
@Pyramid Power
"Hens" and "Rottawa." Are these supposed to be clever putdowns? (grin)
Does childish name calling of other teams and cities somehow make YOUR hometown and home team (even if you're currently living elsewhere) somehow better?
And if so, do you think you can come up with something better than the rather weak "Hens" and far too easy/obvious "Rottawa"? (wicked grin)
You may have noticed I don't stoop (g) to dabbling in name calling.
OK, the mere word/name "Leafs" has become such a laughingstock across the country --- outside the GTA, and environs --- that calling them the "Laffs" seems needlessly redundant. (wg)
But there are worse (usually more clever) bits of name calling, and word play, I just don't bother getting into.
I believe in an as-friendly-as-possible rivalry, with plenty of fact-based opinion where possible.
Of course now that I've yanked your chain a bit on the name calling, you may now have to wonder if every time you use "Hens," "Rottawa" and their ilk, might not readers now pause, even if slightly, to wonder if the name calling might reflect back more on the caller than the callee? (devilish grin)
Have a great new year, bud. (smile)
Posted by: Sensi-Bill | 01/02/2011 at 04:56 AM
VINAY
With my being a loyal Senators fan back here in my hometown, Ottawa, I would respectfully suggest that I am living (a close thing some days) proof that one doesn't have to be a Leaf fan to enjoy your highly entertaining Blog.
And this comes from a writer/editor with more than 30 years in journalism (before being forced to the side by health problems).
It's one of the very few blogs I turn to consistently and, except for one disappointment I wrote about here, I have never been disappointed with your efforts.
I also happen to like the frequently better-than-most-sites quality of commentators you attract.
I know that I sometime take personal stands that might make me less-than-popular here at times. (A bit of understatement there perhaps) (g) But for the most part I feel fairly tolerated --- perhaps even welcome at times --- here and enjoy my visits.
So in wishing you and your followers here the very best in the new year, I also say: "Keep up the great work here, especially you Vinay, who makes it all worthwhile."
[Written from my sick bed. As if this nasty cold wasn't making me miserable enough, my hockey team --- oh how I needed some positive distraction --- played another stinker of a game ---and against our "arch rivals" of all things. (g)]
VM Replies: First, Sensi-Bill, sorry for your loss. We'll take the win but, you're right, the Sens didn't put up much of a fight. Second, thanks for your kind words. I appreciate your visits and contributions. Wishing you health and happiness in 2011.
Posted by: Sensi-Bill | 01/02/2011 at 05:15 AM
@Sensi-Bill
PP has been doing that for a while now. It's just not Ottawa but the Habs also. I just laugh it off. His team has struggled for decades now but he'll always manage a stat here and there to remind everyone that the Leafs 'did this or did that'. Check everything he writes! He has a way of twisting reality...the ultimate Spin Master.
I prefer to let the teams do the talking.
@Alicia & 80s Leafs
Beauchemin for who? lol...you guys slay me. I hope you were being sarcastic? Beauchemin has garnered 0 interest around the league...I would bet on that. Burkie is stuck with the two of them (Komi and Beauch). The Leafs would have to pay another team to take them....forget about getting anyone in return. Never going to happen. This is what happens when you think you know what you're doing....disaster! How many people can you 'bury' in the minors? Stop dreaming. Any 'blockbuster' deal involving the Leafs will be a dump of players (but not salaries). I mean...how many Brian Burkes are there anyway? (big grin)
Posted by: Kid Delicious/Leaf Shredder | 01/02/2011 at 07:27 AM
Wonderful game Leafies! Only Ron Wilson would put Orr out near the end of a 5 to 1 blowout! Orr wanted to fight all game - no one wanted to fight Orr. Finally Orr got what he wanted, Chris Neil who isn't in his weight division. Putting Colton on the ice for this debacle was classless. On a night when our young guys were skating and taking it to the net, Wilson does this? This guy is a disgrace. Get us a coach Brian. We have the horses in the Leaf organization to play well. Bring some of the others up from the Marlies to go along with the kids and stand back. If the Marlies are short of players there are plenty of older Leafs playing American League Hockey. Does Orr drag his knuckles when he walks or is it my set?
Posted by: Robert | 01/02/2011 at 09:00 AM
@Denial @80s Leafs: I didn't get a chance to search for the montage last night during the game(s). But I found it this morning: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uP1GPjWkhs
Posted by: Vinay Menon | 01/02/2011 at 09:45 AM
@Robert
Are you kidding me? Brian Burke is behind all of this. He's loving this! This is 'his' team, remember. Wilson takes his cue from Burkie...not the other way around. Burke loves truculence and to a greater degree...stupidity. If he could have 15 Orr's on the team he would. Stop pointing the finger at Wilson. If this ship sinks it will be all Burke. Why does Burke get hardly any flak here. He's sitting up in the box looking down and hoping the Leafs win the fights...not the games. He has said it more than once...actually every time he opens his mouth something stupid comes out of it. When will Leaf fans learn? Sigh....
Posted by: Kid Delicious/Leaf Shredder | 01/02/2011 at 02:00 PM
The Toronto Maple Leafs and The Ottawa Senators will be holding a charity “Battle of the Ontario Sivs” golf tournament on the first day of the hockey playoff. For information on tickets please contact 1-800-LEAFS-SUCK.
Live coverage of the Vancouver Canucks (President Trophy Winners) will be streamed live from the golf club house for fans who like playoff hockey
Don’t delay call now as tickets are limited because Leafs and their fans are used to golfing in April. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
VM Replies: Not particularly original, Jack. But your point is taken.
Posted by: Jack | 01/14/2011 at 11:42 AM