Game Day: Beware the Flying Waffles

In 1988, after the Leafs were demolished 8-0 by Detroit in a playoff game, fans inside Maple Leaf Gardens hurled pucks, hats, cups, trash, and even a few jerseys on the ice.

"The way they acted, it looked like they were throwing in the towel," said a rattled Todd Gill at the time. "You get Coke splattered in your face and you get change rung off your head – from your own fans!"

At least the 1988 Leafs didn't have to worry about getting nailed with airborne breakfast entrées. After Thursday's woeful loss to Philadelphia, someone in the stands decided to leggo his eggo in the general vicinity of the 2010 Leafs.

"Who brings waffles to a hockey game?" wondered Colby Armstrong the next day. "Had we won the game, was he going home with soggy waffles? I don't know. I don't appreciate it, really, a guy throwing waffles at me as I'm skating by. I don't know if the guy was aiming for me or whatever, but who knows? The guy brought waffles. I don't know what it means. I don't know what this all means."

Colby, here's what this all means: Leafs Nation is starved for success and fed up with failure. Patience is stretched like cotton candy. Frustrations are mounting like a stack of buttermilk pancakes.

So heading into tonight's game against Montreal, make no mistake: If the Leafs underperform for a third consecutive game, they may find themselves on the receiving end of more hostility and, by extension, more edible projectiles.

Now, obviously, it's never wise to throw anything on the ice. It creates treacherous conditions for players, officials, coaches and other fans. If you're caught chucking foodstuff, you will be ejected. Depending on the severity of the incident, you could also face prosecution, which is not a conversation you want to have with a future employer.

"Have you ever been charged with a crime?"

"Absolutely not. Well, yes. Just once. It was 2010. The Leafs were losing 9-1. They were 0-6 on the power play. They missed the net 143 times in the first. I couldn't take it any more. So I dropped Tomas Kaberle with a candy apple."

Boys, come out flying tonight and you won't have to worry about ducking a bagel with cream cheese. But come out stale and flat and it could get downright messy out there.

That said, I have just obtained a list of every food item that can purchased inside the ACC tonight. I have done this for one reason: I do not want to live in a world where a hockey player on my favourite team ends up missing a few games because of a vegetable stirfry mishap.

Leafs? Win! Please! Just win! But if you lose, and you lose ugly, I have spent a few hours this afternoon calculating incoming threats based on primary vending area, price and aerodynamics.

Here now, The 20 Most Dangerous Concession Stand Threats Inside The ACC:

1. Reuben Footlong ($9.75): "12 inches of big hurt."

2. Platinum Chicken Wrap ($8.95) "A long-range missile."

3. Beef Dip Panini ($8.95) "Wet, hot and capable of reaching terrifying speeds."

4. Smirnoff Ice Cooler ($6.95) "Stealth and lethal."

5. M&M Pretzel ($4.85) "Boomeranging salt abrasions."

6. Evian 500 ML ($3.95) "Unsatisfying but deadly."

7. Snickers King Size ($3.75) "Packed with peanut shrapnel."

8. Wally’s Giant Cookie ($6.50) "Deceptive weapon looks like a puck."

9. 2 Chicken Souvlaki Sticks ($6.65) "Capable of impaling."

10. Tallboy Can ($9.25) "The bunker buster of beers."

11. Caramel/Fudge Drumstick ($4.75) "Deliciously pointy."

12. Jumbo Pickles ($3.32) "The stink never leaves a victim.”

13. XL Hot Smoothee ($2.11) "There is no escape from the splatter.”

14. Pizza Dog ($6.25) "A nefarious hybrid."

15. Skittles ($5.75) "Capable of taking out an entire bench."

16. Pulled Pork Sliders ($10.75) "Greasy mayhem."

17. Burrito ($9.25) "A short-range torpedo."

18. Pizza Pizza Chicken Hot Sauces ($1.00) "May cause blindness."

19. Fresh-Cut Curly-Que Fries ($4.38) "Unpredictable flight patterns."

20. Itzakadoozie ($3.75) "There are no words."

LEAFS NATION: FURIOUS, ARMED AND DANGEROUS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MAIN PHOTO: PHIL COALE/ASSOCIATED PRESS

Comments

[oakville_girl]

Very funny post today Vinay! the Smirnoff can be stealthy and lethal even when not thrown. :)

I see visions of the RoyalCanadian Air Farces Chicken Cannon being stuffed full of all the items you've listed and just taking aim at the whole bench - possibly with Burkie and Wilson being the main targets. I'm sure Don Ferguson would come out of retirement to help with this, don't you think?

In addition to the foodstuffs, I think the fans need to raid the merchandise concessions and through those on the ice. Their programs, and all the overpriced Leafs items to signify that it's all worthless at this point in the season.

You have to give Leafs fans credit for ingenuity though. Who REALLY would have thought about bringing waffles to the game? I personally might have brought some of my other groceries though - tomatoes....rotten ones.

Usually a Montreal/Toronto tilt will be an exciting one for me, but I have been asked to go out with friends this evening, and if the TV doesn't get turned on at all, I won't be sad. (I will be taping it though, just in case it's worth watching, bad or good)

VM Replies: As I recall, when you missed the Nashville game, the Leafs won in dramatic come-from-behind fashion. So let's see what happens over the next 2.5 hours...

[TG77]

I am kinda annoyed about the treatment of the players ie. the waffle tossing. I was at a Jays game a long time ago and someone was heckling Ken Griffey in the on-deck circle and he said "hey, I don't come and talk (smack) to you while you are flipping burgers at McDonalds" and it shut him up. I don't think a fan has any right to launch food at players but I think they have a right to voice their displeasure if there is a lack of effort but to buy tickets just for the oft-chance you can boo the team when they make mistakes seems dumb to me. The waffle tossing example is ridiculous and the fan who did this should be forced to give his work address so Dion and co. can come and launch breakfast foods at him/her when they screw up. I get that the fans are pissed (I was annoyed with the Flyers and Pens games this week too) but some level of respect is in order. The only time stuff being thrown on the ice is a good thing was last night at the Vancouver Giants game when several thousand stuffed animals were tossed for an annual charity event when the fans get to toss the toys onto the ice after the first home team goal. Amazing spirit and lots of deserving kids get toys for Christmas and both teams genuinely seemed to get a kick out of picking up toys off the ice and filling enormous shopping carts full of toys.

I will say this too, there was an article about the Leafs going to Sick Kids and it's funny that Dion is in "captain form" even while barking orders about singing carols. I noticed not a single comment about this article but 40 or so about how bad Kessel is and how bad the trade was. We can admit that the leafs are doing good work in the community. They aren't bad people whether they are a bad product on the ice or not. I guarantee if the Leafs had won against the Flyers there would be lots of comments about how they are such a group of great guys. Go Leafs Go.

[moe green]

Fans are just frustrated. I don't even think the Kessel deal was bad (necessarily) but I'm still sick of watching him float around out there. I love the Phaneuf trade and yet I can't help getting crankier and crankier at him every time his booming shot misses the net. The poor fans are weary. They're like those pathetic "dying whale" horns I still hear from time to time at ACC. They are tired of 43 years of rebuild. They are tired of the Brian Burke and Ken Dryden and Pat Quinn and Ron Wilson. They are tired of the halfway measures. They are tired of Jonus Haglund and Matt Stajan. They want Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin. They are tired of being a laughing stock. They are tired of watching other teams' success at their expense. They are tired of mediocrity. They - the fans - we - me... we're all just tired. So chuck some food onto the ice. What's it gonna hurt. Boo a little. I still like: "Thank you Burke, thank you Wilson" as a chant! Do it for the thousands of fans who can't afford to attend the games in person.

[KD]

Why throw waffles? The article and photo contain the answers. The waffles are only $2.69, considerably less than cheapest food item at the ACC. If you're going to pay the exorbitant prices there, why throw away your food as well as your money?

[TG77]

Moe, I agree with much of what you say and I get the fact fans are annoyed and I count myself in that bunch but has it really been 43 years of pain, suffering and anguish? Has it been 43 years of rebuilding? It's been a number of crappy years since the lockout but when the Leafs made a number of conference finals and continuously made the playoffs, were they in the rebuild? I don't like being mocked so easily in Vancouver when I wear a Leafs hat or jersey, it's annoying for sure but I wouldn't tell a fan to launch food at the players to "symbolize" my distress. Would it be too much to ask the ACC fans to make it hard on the opposing team? They only make noise when the "make noise" sign goes up when I went to games a few years back.

I remember the days of paper bags over the fans head etc when I was a kid and you forgot to mention, John Brophy, Mike Kitchen, George Armstrong and Cliff Fletcher in your list of bad decision makers. Cliffy's 2nd round with the Leafs was way worse than what Burke has done. Draft picks for Mayers and Hollweg, trades Steen and Carlo for Stempniak, Finger for $3.5 million per year after being a healthy scratch for the Avs. I guess you could place a lot of blame at the feet of the guys who refused to be traded during his tenure too i.e. Kaberle for Jeff Carter (just barfed in my mouth) and not being able to move Sundin. Am I wrong or was there a potential Steen and one other forward trade for Pronger on the table a ways back and it wasn't made because Steen was projected to be a star. We also paid Tucker, Wellwood and Raycroft up until last year to not play for us so maybe Burke does need some time. I suppose a consistent message ie. we will suck and we will allow us sucking to put us high in the draft order versus trading the picks for Kessel would help the fans be more patient? Maybe.

I am of the opinion with a solid top-line centre, Kessel would have about 15-18 goals now. He also put the puck on Bozak's stick a number of times in great scoring position and Bozak is snake-bit this year so easily Phil would have at least 5 more assists this year. Ah well, having a christmas party tonight so I drink beer to celebrate or drink beer to get over another loss!

VM Replies: Have fun at your party.

[Tom]

Call me crazy, but I'm fairly positive waffle splatters don't look like that in the first photo.

Then again, I've never seen a waffle splatter in the first place.

VM Replies: You are not crazy! That is a beer splatter. And it's not even Toronto. That picture was shot on April 24, 2002 in Uniondale at the end of Game 4 against the Islanders. (I couldn't find any on-ice waffle images.)

[Pyramid Power]

No waffling tonight Toronto!

Score the first goal, put in a huge effort and Monsieur Jean Sebastien Gigueure: come up BIG for once! We will need you to earn some of your $7 million tonight against your hometown team like Howard did for the Wings last night against the hated Habs.

GO LEAFS GO! YOU MUST WIN TONIGHT! YOU MUST YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS!

A win tonight allows us to move to 3-2 in this Week of Death. I can deal with that as a Leaf fan. A loss? Unthinkable and unspeakable.

[moe green]

Agree TG77. Agree about Burke. Agree about Fletcher. Agree about Kessel. We are just so used to selling picks for quick fixes. Kessel seems like another example. What a mess. My concern: That we have to finish last for a few more years. And for what?

[TG77]

Thanks Vinay. Got the start we needed - 2 zip. Booya Kaberle. About damn time. King McArthur with a haymaker on Spacek. Also, no worries for waffles because Allan Bester ate them all before the game started.

VM Replies: I honestly did not recognize him.

[KD]

Totally unrelated question. I'm watching the game on CBC - basic cable, not even digital. The quality of the broadcast seems very poor - intermittent jumping in the audio and visual. It's been like that in the last few HNIC broadcasts too. Is something going on at CBC, or is it an ACC issue?

[moe green]

Anyone still watching? I am doing other things. I missed the two goals. Looks like a sleepy game. Time for the Leafs to bury the Habs if this is going to be the beginning of a six-game winning streak.

[moe green]

What a crappy game.

[TG77]

Ugly goal there for the Habs. The leafs have to lead the league in missed shots on net. Anyone else get the feeling Healy really wants the leafs to lose. He just likes to spout off about his own accomplishments and how bad the Leafs are even when they are winning a game. To the Habs credit, they are playing with 5 d-men but still in this game unfortunately. One of the PP's connecting when the leafs were up 2-0 would have put this one away.

[Pyramid Power]

2-1 at the end of two. Shut the door Giggy!

We need Christmas to arrive early here. Reg. time victory. A goal by Mr. Phil Kessel to seal this.

GO LEAFS GO! GO LEAFS GO! GO LEAFS GO!

Few things in life better than beating the Canadiens. Let's do it!

GO LEAFS GO!

[moe green]

Nicknames: Dion Phaneuf = "Nuke" as in "Nuke Lalooshe"

[moe green]

Just curious, has John Mitchell ever completed a pass? I mean in the NHL.

[Pyramid Power]

VERSTEEG! YES! YES! YES! YES!

VICTORY! AWESOME! LOVE IT!

LEAFS!

[Robert]

Your list of food stuffs reminds me of many of my old girl friends. Just watched the game - they won against a tired and dispirited Montreal team. Nice to see Kaberle score. I like the guy. Didn't like Kessel's spear on Cammerli after he scored. Thought the game the usual, Toronto gets away with a lot, the visitors, not so much. Why?

[Hoofheartz]

Robert, you forgot to mention that the habnots played their backup goalie, and oh yeah, the sun was in Auld's eyes on the 2 goals he let in. Plus I did a little voodoo dance before the game to ensure the stinking habs lost. Any other excuses I missed?

[red5]

Missed the game; split 4 bottles of wine between 3 people. Sounds like a good game (at least a good result). So that's 3 of 5 against the top 5 in the eastern conference. Not bad.

[Tom]

I am completely baffled by Moe Green. For the first time in a very long time, not only does Toronto score the first goal, BUT:

1) They WIN
2) They WIN against Montreal
3) Not only does Kaberle shoot, HE SCORES A GOAL.

Did somebody spike the Leafs drinks???

[oakville_girl]

Vinay, it appears that for my beloved Leafs to win, I must not watch the game live on TV. Instead I must tape the game, and then watch it after it is finished.

Personally, I think that the fact that the Habs were tired, that Kessel scored, and Kaberle got his first this year might have had something to do with the win, but I will be happy to take one for my team.

[Robert]

Hoofheartz, like so many of your kind, you miss the point. The guys in red, that's Montreal, played Detroit the night before. That is a fact, not an excuse. If you think that was their real team in the first two periods you are sadly mistaken. They were tired. How many of them fell down on simple innocuous plays?? I was not making excuses for Montreal's loss, but, rationalizing Toronto's win. Besides who could stomach an 82 loss season, not even Toronto fans. Bye the bye, I grew up in Toronto, spend considerable time with the Leafs back in their glory days, this team is made up of college grads and third liners, with a couple of first liners thrown in - it takes more than a year to retool. So when they do win, look for reasons beyond what you think is talent. And, give them some time!

[Hoofheartz]

The point Bobby, is that the habnots lost. Do you actually think that professional athletes, who do little else but train and play could be tired because they played back to back games on consecutive nights 20 odd games into the season. Funny how when Leaf fans try to rationalize why the Leafs lost its all "excuses" but when, as you say people of "your kind" are explaining why the stinking habs lost it's all "fact."

[Moe Green]

That wasn't much of a game. Glad we won, obviously. Truth? If Price is in the net, Montreal wins. It was a rare occasion this season where the commentators said the opposing goalie "had to be better." I look at it this way: Goaltending is undoubtedly the strongest single position in the League. 350 million people in NA, 60 NHL goalies. That's why having a good one is so important. Does Toronto have a good one yet? Well they don't have a: Price, Miller, Thomas, Rask, Lundqvist. JSG has a Toskala-like save percentage. Gustavsson only slightly better and sinking. If they play like last night, they aren't gonna win many games.

[moe green]

@tom - I hear you Tom. Thye did win but I'm not sure why. Did you see the goals? Kessel's? Kabby's? Even Toskala stops one of those. K maybe not Toskala, but you get my meaning. I don't know what was wrong with Montreal, but they won't beat many (any) teams playing like that. Leafs better expect much better from their next opponent.

[Robert]

Hoofy: Have a read at the comments that follow yours. Seems like some others are able to understand what is happening on the ice. I am not rooting against the Leafs, I am pointing out why they won. Too confusing?

[Pyramid Power]

Just caught the highlights of the game. Auld was not good, but we just won baby. Just win baby! Just win. I don't care how it gets done.

To the West we look now and hopefully take two of three in Edmonton, Calgary and Vancouver. Maybe all three? Why not?

JUST WIN BABY!

[Hoofheartz]

Sorry Bobby, I just remembered that you're a Sens fan so you obviously know what you're talking about which would explain your past comments about how much better the Sens are than the Leafs.

[Leaf shredder / Kid Delicious]

You tell him Robert. Hoofer is just cranky. His hatred for the Habs blinds him from his real problems....the Laughs. The fact that the Leafs could only score 2 goals against a very tired team playing their #2 goalie is a joke. A real team would have taken advantage of the situation and blown this wide open.
Does anybody on this panel think the Leafs will win 25 games this year? I bet 'ole Hoofer does....that sly optimist.

[Ken Baumgartner]

Yea kid ridiculous, now you are making excuses for your team's loss and that your team isn't good against a quality team when they're tired. If it were quality the habs would have been slaughtered. That is confidence. There is really only one thing to say about the "LAUGHS", Scoreboard my friend, scoreboard.

[Hoofheartz]

I need someone, anyone really, to explain to me how a team of professional athletes can be tired because they played back to back games on consecutive nights. Didn't Detroit play back to back games and win them both? Aren't they a real team? If the habnots couldn't win either of their back to back games does that mean they aren't a real team or do excuses only count when it isn't a Leaf fan making them? BTW, didn't the Leafs just play 5 games in 7 nights? Goodness, I'll bet they were exhausted last night and yet they still managed to win.