The five most popular Leafs by jersey sales
Wait a minute – there's a game tonight? But we're already emotionally drained.
The trades, the P-word we dare not speak, the troubling injuries... draining. I mean, if Boston fans start their obnoxious Thank you, Kessel chants tonight, I will have a mental breakdown no lemon square or even lemon drop martini can fix.
Enough already. Leave the poor bastard alone.
So I am forgoing a traditional preview again. Screw it. We need to rest our brains and hearts for the next two hours. Instead of a preview, may I present... The Five Most Popular Leafs By Jersey Sales*:
1. Dion Phaneuf
2. Phil Kessel (No. 81)
3. Luke Schenn (No. 2)
4. Kris Versteeg (No. 32)
4. Jonas Gustavsson (No. 50)
5. Colby Armstrong (No. 9)
(*FOR SALES BETWEEN JULY 1 TO DECEMBER 31, 2010)
I know, right? What a strange gauge of popularity.
The guy who just got traded was the fourth most popular Leaf when it comes to apparel? Have you ever seen someone wearing a Versteeg sweater? Me neither. And hang on, the new number four is... the guy on a conditioning stint in the minors who just had a heart procedure?
This can't be good.
You know what else is weird? Francois Beauchemin was traded last week and he wore No. 22. But while searching for pictures to embed atop this post, look at Exhibit A and Exhibit B below:
Did he get traded because they needed the No. 22 for an upcoming event or famous person?
This feels like a conspiracy.
And have you ever wondered why there is no player on the current team who wears No. 1, No. 62 or No. 86? Well, pretend you've wondered it.
I now present... Exhibit C, Exhibit D and Exhibit E:
EXHIBIT C: "You know, this would look damn fine on a cocktail waitress."
EXHIBIT D: "What is this ice hockey you speak of? I am here to talk about the Middle East. Where is your leader?"
EXHIBIT E: "Do they really play a sport in one of these? Look what it did to my hair. Savages."
What does the jersey sales data mean? Probably nothing. I'm drained. The only reason I put up this entire post was to start a fresh thread for game commenting. But my guess is we're going to see a revamped Top 5 of jersey sales by this time next year, with lots of MacArthurs, Grabovskis and Reimers among us.
Until game commenting begins, I leave you with the soothing sights of Exhibit F:
MAIN PHOTO: RICK MADONIK/TORONTO STAR