Game Day: How to deal with the haters

Be strong, Leafs Nation. Brace yourselves for the onslaught of mocking, jeering, laughing and taunting that crops up at this time of year.

On Monday night, before the 6-2 loss to Tampa was even 10 minutes old, my inbox started beeping like a big rig stuck in reverse.

There were jokes ("Q: Why doesn't Hamilton have an NHL team? A: Because then Toronto would want one!"). There were insults and magic numbers. There were referrals to psychiatrists and local golf courses.

There were even pictures:

I must admit, all of this left me feeling a little defensive.

This morning before work, I went to the corner store to buy some milk. I was wearing my Leafs cap, as per usual. After paying, as I turned to leave, I thought the nice man behind the counter blurted out, "Aki Berg."

"Pardon me?" I asked, feeling my blood pressure rise.

What he actually said, while pointing at my back was, "Girl bird."

It seems one of my daughters had, once again, affixed an Ariel sticker to my coat. This poor guy may not know the difference between a winged creature and a mermaid but he wasn't taking a shot at the Leafs. He was just giving me a friendly heads-up.

The point is: We don't have time for this.

There are still a dozen games to play and a lot hangs in the balance. We don't have time for point-of-sale misunderstandings and we certainly don't have time to be dragged down by those who take perverse pleasure from our late-season pain.

So in advance of tonight's big game against Carolina – Jersey won again last night and are now perched ahead of Toronto in the standings – here is a guide to identifying and dealing with the four main antagonists that multiply like bacteria in March.

THE HATERS

This is the easiest group to identify. The Haters smile on the inside and pump their angry fists after every loss: "Yes!"

They bookmark novelty websites and spend money on anti-Leaf merchandise. They crack lame jokes about parades and 1967. They refer to the Leafs as "the Laffs" and believe Leafs Nation is third-world country populated by deluded fools.

When encountering a Hater, it's best not to make any sudden movements. The Hater is just waiting to pounce. "You know why the Leafs suck?" they will ask, before answering their own question.

If cornered by a Hater, do not panic. Let them finish ranting about why Dion Phaneuf is the anti-Christ or how Phil Kessel drinks kitten blood to break out of slumps. Then when there's a pause, smile and calmly say, "Go Leafs Go" before beating a hasty retreat.

THE FAUX SYMPATHIZERS

This group is equally obsessed with the Leafs. But unlike The Haters, they do not openly despise the blue-and-white. Instead, their contempt manifests in passive-aggressive small talk and feigned empathy.

"I saw the highlights from last night," they will say at work the next morning. "Wow. I really feel sorry for Reimer. It seems like the book is out on him."

They don't feel sorry for Reimer. They love when the kid is beaten high and on the glove side. The Faux Sympathizers want the Leafs to fail because they are addicted to the Schadenfreude.

The best way to deal with these people is to pretend you are not on to them while reinforcing your faith at every turn.

"Yeah, thanks for your support. That was a tough loss, no question.  But these guys will bounce back. This is a really exciting time to be a fan. The future has never looked brighter."

THE CONVERTERS

For whatever reason, certain members of other fan bases yearn to reach out and show us the light. Like missionaries in a faraway land, these people ask things like, "Why don't you follow a real team already?" and "Don't you want to experience the joy and salvation of winning?"

The Converters don't hate the Leafs. They don't even care about the Leafs. What they care about is our loyalty and devotion. They want to harness this spirit, co-opt it for their own team.

They want us to be a part of their conversations.

It's flattering. Nevertheless, it's best to avoid all hockey discussions with The Converters. There is no point, no upside for us or for them because it's never going to happen.

My wife's driving scares the hell out of me. Does that mean I'm going to leave her and shack up with the woman across the street who can parallel park like nobody's business?

When The Converters discuss their Canucks or their Canadiens, change the subject to the weather. When they make playoff predictions involving their Wings or their Flyers, mention the last movie you've seen.

Eventually, they will see the light and our cross-team friendships will survive.

THE EX-BELIEVERS

This is the most difficult group to handle. They once stood shoulder-to-shoulder with us in the trenches, which warrants a measure of respect. But now they have abandoned us, they have "escaped the cult," as they often say without blinking or exhaling.

The Ex-Believers claim they want the Leafs to do well. But they refuse to waste any more time on this godforsaken team. Ask an Ex-Believer a theoretical question about power plays or defensive coverage and you will instead be subjected to an extended rant about how MLSE is run by a shadowy cabal of greedy jackasses who have no interest in the on-ice product.

"Until they get serious about winning," The Ex-Believers say, "they will never get me back. Never! I'm done with them."

But here's the truth: The Ex-Believers are not done with the Leafs. They never really left Leafs Nation. They may not watch all of the games anymore. They may not know a Lebda from a Lupul. But they are still emotionally invested, which is why they can't stop talking about why they left in the first place.

When approached by an Ex-Believer, just nod silently and listen. Let them vent, let them blow off historical steam. But stay positive and make something clear: When they are ready to return, the door will always be open.

Once a Leaf fan, always a Leaf fan...

Okay, on to Carolina. Let's do this thing.

MAIN PHOTO: TARA WALTON/TORONTO STAR

Comments

[Simon]

Thank you VM. Its everything I needed to get through the rest of the day. Bring it on Carolina! Kadri's going to get his first goal on Ward and Kessel will pump one in as the game winner. And don't forget Brent. He's got all of your numbers!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rzh-YJyoJvA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY12SMITsJA

[Robert]

Excellent advice Vinnie: Further, it is interesting how all these non Leafs always WANT to talk hockey with a Leaf fan. Wonder why? I suspect most of them have their blue and white flying suits under their street wear. At the sign of a Leaf upsurge, they will all be looking for the local phone booth to change into ==
Super Leaf.
Frankly, who cares. Root for whichever team you like. Respect the fact that I root for the finest franchise in the Hockey Industry period. I am a Leaf fan, always was always will be.
Onward to Carolina. It ain't never over as long as there is a breath of life in the blue and white.

VM Replies: Need your celestial forecast for over the skies of Carolina.

[Boo Who?]

Stay outta my head, Menon! You have just written the story of my life. You're scaring me.
Dated a Hater (for about 5 mins).
Work with a Faux Sympathizer.
Am friends with I don't know how many Converters (I refer to them as 'Evangelists').
And I used to be a very zealous Ex-Believer.
All of these experiences have helped me to grow as a person, and I've realized something important - you can't fight love. Nor should you. It may go unreciprocated, it may bring disappointment and grief, but how we love is what defines us as people. I for one, choose to love wholeheartedly, because that's just how Boo rolls. Wholeheartedly does not mean unconditionally - that's a cop-out in my books. Loving wholeheartedly requires that you acknowlegde flaws and love on in spite of them.
And I LOVE this blankety-blank hockey team.
(My God what is wrong with me today? I'm like Stewie, I'm losing my edge. Where is my evil clone when I need them to help me save face?)

VM Replies: You are getting soft on us.

[hoofheartz]

Big M, if we were in the vicinity of each other right now we'd be airborne and doing a chest bump. May be the best ALF B you've produced so far.

VM Replies: Just sent you a virtual chest bump, hoof.

[moe green]

I myself was one of the "ex-believers." I finally had enough by the mid-eighties. I watched Poddubny, Frycer and Innacek sort of prosper for a short while. I saw the Clark, Leeman and Courtnall line do a little damage. All sadly to no avail. And all of the horrible coaches of that era. Horrible draft choices. Hope was virtually non-existent.

Anyone who became a Leafs fan during that era; During the Rick Viave, Bill Derlago, Tiger WIlliams era - you have my utmost respect and admiration. Me, I just couldn't do it anymore. I rejoined the team after the Gilmour trade. I moved to Toronto in 1989, rejoined the fold and I haven't left since. It was like I never left in the first place.

VM Replies: I'm just glad you're back.

[gettingcozywithsarkozy]

VM: The "ex-believers" are the ones that really get me. I have a theory (which is gradually gravitating to a law daily) about these kind of people: they don't really exist! The ex-believers can actually be grouped into two-subgroups (which upon close examination, neither can actually be defined as exbelievers). The first is the one who still knows all the facts and every stat about every Leaf and game while professing that they "no longer follow the team." The passion that this type of person exhibits would lead one to conclude that they are actually still a fan and are just using the "ex-believer" label as a defense mechanism. The second group is the one who claims to be done with the team even though they were once on-fire for the blue and white. This is obviously a croc as nobody who was ever a REAL Leaf fan could ever be "done" with the team. I've been geographically separated from Leaf nation for almost 12 years, catching only one game a week on CBC (windsor) for the most part, and I can tell you, the passion hasn't faded one bit. If anything, its been reinforced by the constant pestering of red wing fans.

VM Replies: You need to get the hell out of there.

[Peter]

this is the story of Leafs nation, especially if you are not living in the GTA.
i myself am a convert. used to be a Habs fan then i changed alliances around when Sundin became captain. and since we moved to Eastern Ontario, we'are living among Habs and Sens fans, which is pretty hard sometimes. the company where i work owns season tickets at ScotiaBank Place and sometimes hands them out as bonuses. :-)

VM Replies: Not the best incentive, at least for you.

[Rob Janssens]

Are you Leafs fans so devoid of self esteem that despite the unity of tens of thousands of like-minded folk in the GTA, and a nearly 100% sympathetic media (TV, radio, print), you wilt at the tauntings of a few of us haters??
Good to know that it's working!!!!
Most of our hate is born out of being totally fed-up with the propaganda of the fans and media (and especially the fans IN the media) that is foisted upon us from September to early April. The team itself is actually the least of our cynicism.

[Rooney]

Great piece VM! With Kadri and Lashoff in and Colby and (hopefully) Lebda out, this team just got even younger, unbeLEAFable! Kadri is the first 90s baby on the roster. One thing about youth, the more people talk about probability and statistics, the more they probably want to prove the doubters and haters wrong. Keep it going boys, GO LEAFS GO!

VM Replies: Bookyaka, or however that word of yours is spelled.

[Billy]

Vin - I feel like you targeted me directly. I AM NOT A FAUX SYMPATHIZER. I made a comment the other day about "the book being out on Riemer". Following that comment, I did exactly what you recommended as a citizen of Leaf Nation.. "Things look awesome for the future", I said. Now, having read the article twice, I somehow fit into every category. Which leads me to believe that if there is anyone that fits into any of these categories, they are all part of Leaf Nation. If they care to hate, faux sympathize, convert or are ex-believers, they are part of Leafs Nation. That is what makes us so great.

VM Replies: No! I've heard that "book is out on Reimer" all over the place last two weeks. Would never target you.

[A Leaf Fan in Lotusland]

You know, VM, I would comment a lot more if it weren't for the fact that you always steal my thoughts before I have a chance to post them. It's getting kind of frustrating how brilliant you are. Or am I the brilliant one, just three time zones behind? You already know the answer to that question, of course.

One of my favourite ways of dealing with any of the four groups is to simply agree with everything they say. Drives 'em nuts. Then I tell them about my secret savings account I've been adding to for several years now - the one that will pay for a couple of weeks in Toronto plus game tickets for the Stanley Cup Final (at this rate, I'll be staying in the penthouse at the Trump and sitting in my own row of platinums, but that's besides the point) That generally confirms in their minds that I'm nuts, too, and we get along great. Well, except for the Canucks fans. They're truly psycho. No cure for that.

VM Replies: No, you are the brilliant one. I am just a tired Leafs fan.

[Hockey Fan, therefore by Definition Not a Leaf Fan]

That post by Robert at 2:24 pm sums up why some of us hate the Laffs...we hate the fans more. "Best franchise in the industry..", by what possible standard is that accurate, other than the most profitable?
And people who continually throw money at MLSE...just wow.
Laff fans have no concept of what happens on the ice outside of the ACC.
Cheering for your team with a religious fervor while ignoring the rest of the league does not make you a hockey fan. It makes you a focus of ridicule. So yeah, I come on this blog and ridicule you because it is fun. Go onto a Habs fan site and you will read far more reasoned and knowledgeable posts about hockey in general.

VM Replies: With respect, this place isn't called A Neutral Observer Blogs About The Sport of Hockey. It's a fan blog about the Leafs.
That said, two of my favourite commenters (Princess and Geoff Read) are proud Habs fans. And I hear from fans of many other teams on a weekly basis.
The difference?
You're here to antagonize. Period. You have every right to do this, of course. But let's not pretend you are motivated by a love of the game.

[Boo Who?]

Oh Rob, Rob, Rob. Don't feel too proud of yourself there just yet.
Do I have to point out that you lose the right to complain about having things 'foisted' on you when you chose to come to a blog devoted entirely to the very team you claim to be sick of hearing about? *facepalm*

[hoofheartz]

@Rob @2:58 - if I could put a voice to your post this is probably what you would sound like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-3Iq3XQkAw

[A True Leafs Fan]

if there is one thing i am good it would be making the first group "The haters" to feel like a bunch of idiots for even talking to me. expecially habs fans. as 2 of my best buddies are habs fans i have had alot of practice in the matter an honed my skills. when people say leafs suck... just reply Habs swallow. when they say leaf fans are dumb. just reply why havent you segregated yet? when they say you aren't making the play offs. just reply. hows the investigation with Chara going? when they say that the leafs will never win the stanly cup. just reply are you willing to bet your Girlfriend on that? and when they say anything bad about Colton Orr feed them with a knuckle sandwich, granted i am alot younger than most people on here. but I find being able to out insult the opposition rather than trying to put up facts is a key factor in being my kind of leaf fan. i have said this before..

the Canucks can win the cup. No big deal. Pitsburgh could win the cup.. whatever. Philly can win the cup. good for them...BUT THE DAY THE LEAFS WIN THE CUP.....THE WORLD WILL KNOW!!

[hoofheartz]

VM - you seemed to have missed a category designed specifically for hockey fan and I won't even bother with censoring myself.

Habitroll Hockey Fan, if the Hab fan sites are so great why are you alwasy sticking your face in here?

How about it ALFB regulars, do you make a habit of going to hab sites and commenting? I know I don't.

[Sue]

VM / Moe, I have been a Leafs fan since the Vaive/Derlago/Hickey/Crha/Sittler/Salming/Palmateer/Boschman/Turnbull/Ellis/Gilmour/Clark/Sundin times. God, I really am dating myself, aren't I? Still have my shirt my Crha on the back.

Always will be a die-hard Leafs fan! No lemon squares tonight! Beer (perhaps).

GO LEAFS GO!!!!!!

[Boo Who?]

Alright, everybody cool out and just let the gerbil-brains exhaust themselves on those little wheels of theirs...

Jiggy is starting tonight. I don't usually spare much thought for the state of men's groins, but I am sending up a silent prayer for J-S and his tackle box today.

[A True Leafs Fan]

@ HFTBDNALF

Hows the investigation with Chara going? or have you guys stopped whining?

[CPH]

Many members of Leafs Nation don't live (and maybe never lived) in the GTA. They can choose which team to support, and we appreciate their freely-given allegiance. For those of us who grew up here, though, there is only one choice: you can be a Leafs fan or you can just not care about hockey (in which case we won't be hearing from you). What we can't abide is Torontonians (born and raised) who decide (as if they have that option) that they'll root for...mmm, let's see, maybe the Habs, or the Canes, or some other random team. You can't do that! Maybe if you grew up in Montreal or Raleigh...maybe. But most of us don't get to choose which team to root for, though; it doesn't work like that. If you can't take the agony of following the Leafs, then you can pull the plug. But you don't get to constantly complain about the Leafs (like we real Leaf fans do) and you certainly don't get to support one of their opponents.

[Club de Hockey Canadien]

Great blog - I love it! Being a true Hab fan, of course I fall into the "Hater" category. The Leafs could be playing a Taliban team with Bin Laden as their centre and I would still cheer for the latter (and I know true Leaf fans would do the same with Montréal). I have to admit that my hatred has lessened in the past few years because the Leafs are so pathetic it is difficult to really hate an entity with a disability. It's all in good fun though...I have many friends and hockey teammates who are true Leaf fans. Dressing room chatter would be boring without the pro-Leaf/pro-Hab debates. Anywho, again, great job with the "Seinfeld" way of describing/analyzing everyday dealings with sports fans - because it's so true!

VM Replies: Another Habs fan I can't help but like...

[Simmer]

How about a category for this, a fans sells his loyalty. Good Lord.

http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/How-a-disgruntled-Maple-Leafs-fan-sold-loyalty-o?urn=nhl-198746

BTW loved the post VM even though it was 2hrs later than "should be up within the hour" check your pants they may be on fire!

VM Replies: Sorry! Scrambling to also finish a non-Leafs column today in time for the game. Wednesdays are always brutal around here.

[TimB]

Sometimes I yearn,but I would never wilt.

[Simmer]

VM that wasn't a shot at you, your dedication to this blog is appreciated to the fullest and I don't think I could do it so so I have grounds to criticize even if I wanted to.

[Peter]

oh, yeah, Habitroll twerp and then join them in burning the city down?
besides, who gives a crap about Habs sites? if they are so effing good, what the hell are you doing in here? so called "fans" like you is why i hate the Habs more than anything.

[TPiddy]

I think the problem is that Leafs Nation is so large, that many fans of other teams just see the loud drunken idiot division and not the true fans. There are real fans, and then there are fans who just want an excuse to drink. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between the two.

[Ostrich_ Lover]

One thing no one can deny me is that I have an extra bit of experiance dealing with haters. This is what you do: taunt them. Most of, if not always, their insults are week - such as the plan the parade cliche. If that doesnt work, and you guys can confirm this: You offer a littenay of increasingly implausable excuses: good ones include: kerry Frasor!! Mats Sundin's 2002 injury!! Bryan Berard's Hall of Fame career cut down in its formative stages!! Richard Peddie!! and Gord Stellick.

Finally VM, you forgot one extra type of hater, maybe the worst kind: The Self Hating Leafs Fan. These are the guys who profess to be Leaf fans, but start lynch mobs targetting Phil Kessel and tell you that at 19, Nazem kadri is somehow a bust. They tell you Dion sucks and won't give Ron Wilson any credit. They think Burke should be fired, and they probably even go to protests on hockey violence.

[Rooney]

@HFTBDNALF, you come here for no good reason, how pathetic is your life? Hoofheartz, I have never been and shall never visit a Hab site as I am 100% confident I would not find the equivalent to VM there. I am also not sure what I can learn from a team that has 11 players over 30 on its roster. I am more interested in how teams have won it all in the post lockout era with the cap rules that are now in place. The new millennium has brought new questions and answers to those questions will not be found on any Hab site. From I can tell, the Leafs are rebuiling with these issues in mind, last I checked, the Habs are dealing with hard tempered glass and metal stanchion issues.

Oh well, there is going to be a Caning tonight, as the Buds return to handing out some corporal punishment, GO LEAFS GO!

[Don]

Know something? It's REALLY not the Leafs that people hate it's their intolerable fans. They are schizophrenic and all must have broken legs from jumping on and off the bandwagon.

[Phil]

Interesting article VM.
Well,now that you've gotten that off your chest,will you be pulling for the Habs come playoff time once the Leafs are officially eliminated from playoff contention? If you do convert to the "Good Side" of the force, be sure to teach your family how to sing "Ole Ole Ole Ole" as you watch le bleu,blanc,rouge in the postseason.

[TimB]

VM,if I did not know better,I would think you were posting comments under assumed names to augment the blog.

VM Replies: You just made me laugh, as usual.

[gettingcozywithsarkozy]

Don: How can we have broken ankles if there has been no bandwagon to jump from for 43 (going on 44 years)?!?!? Most of us haven't been around long enough for that bandwagon. I mean, if there's one thing that every red wing fan can admitt about Leaf fans, its that there are NO bandwagon Leaf fans.

VM Replies: I forgot to mention the "bandwagon" canard in the post. Damn.

[pinot grigio]

Something to consider: Ottawa has only had a team since 1993. Who did those fans cheer for before then? Maybe they did not discover hockey until then; maybe they did not cheer for anybody but chances are they either cheered for Toronto or Montreal. And that means that about half of all Ottawa fans are 'reformed' Leaf fans. It's a special category akin to divorced spouses. Odd eh?

[Wandering Penguin]

"My wife's driving scares the hell out of me. Does that mean I'm going to leave her and shack up with the woman across the street who can parallel park like nobody's business?"

I assume that was a rhetorical question, Vinay, because I never read an answer to it. Just sayin'.

VM Replies: I suppose it's a good thing my wife doesn't read this blog.

[Wandering Penguin]

@hoofheartz @3:19: I, for one, take great pride in the fact that I have never posted on another fan site's blog, period - not just those of the Hab-nots. Oh, I have an active and deep dislike for several other fan bases to be sure (it's been a very long ride for me) but heading to any of those sites just makes it seem like I actually give a rat's nether region about their team's fortunes. I can assure you, I do not care how any other team unless they 1) are playing the Leafs; 2) are just ahead of the Leafs in a playoff spot; or 3) are threatening to win a Cup I so desperately don't want them to win.

A few years ago the Sens were comfortably in the lead over the whole of the NHL and for weeks on end, no matter what blog or forum or chat room I happened to be in all I ever heard from the Sens' fans was: "Hahaha - I see the Leafs lost today" or "How did the Leafs do today?" or "Feh, the Leafs only beat the Blues today" or whatever the theme of that day happened to be. Finally - and I don't remember where, exactly, this happened - I got into it with one of the Sens' most vocal dillholes. "Shouldn't you be more concerned with your own team?" I cleverly opened with. "Oh come on," was the retort, "you guys have always hated us and finally we can put you in your places."

That's when a little light went on for me.

"You know," I mused, "here's the thing that most Ottawa fans don't seem to get. It's not that Leaf fans 'hate' you or your team. It's just that we simply don't CARE about you or your team. And you can't stand it. Let me assure you without fear of contradiction that, should the Leafs find themselves practically running away with the President's Trophy, virtually nobody in our folds would come into any of these forums and ask how the Sens were doing. We would be beating our chests about being in first - and making complete asses of ouselves, to be sure - but there is no way in hell I would even care that Ottawa had a TEAM at that point, never mind what PLACE they were in."

And there's the rub, in my mind. Leaf Nation inspires such rampant hatred from the great unwashed because our fan base is so incredibly large, far-reaching and rabid and the majority of those looking in are quite simply jealous, nothing more. We don't care about your teams, we really don't. Not that we don't care about hockey or young talent or the draft or anything you might choose that isn't specifically Leaf domain. We just don't care about YOUR TEAM.

Yet you all seem to care immensely about ours. That's really flattering and yet oh, so sad at the same time.

[missideb]

I believe that Giggy will dig deep and play like the true veteran, former Conn Smythe and Staney Cup winning goalie that he is. He is far too much of a class act to play if he didn't feel he could give 110%. He, more than anyone, knows how important this game is.

I BELIEVE! GO LEAFS GO!!!

[leafland'r]

I think I'm not the only one. I'm a hockey fan. I like all hockey players. Within that group I am a fan of Canadian city based teams. Within that group I am a LEAF FAN. When it comes to playoffs and by chance the Leafs are out, I'd then cheer for the balance of the Canadian Six ( though admittedly, last choice would be for the rival city that historically maintains the
'e' in 1759 version of Canadian). I can't stand their arrogant and rude chant.
If/when cities under the red maple leaf flag are eliminated I'll pick a hope for a team with a player I like. Likely there are other fans of the sport somewhere that follow a similar course.
Can't hate any hockey team. I just favour one most.
Over the decades I have been a loyal Leaf fan, but have had occasions of being a frustrated member of category 2 and 4.

I think I'm not alone as a Leafland'r.

[TimB]

Brothers and sisters,ignore the hockey heathens and climb aboard.We are not stopping until we are in the eye of the hurricane.Only true believers please.No room for the faithless.I'm sorry but there will be no lemon squares on the menu tonight.Alright,let's shake dust!

[TG77]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKKYhBYQ2yE - not ready to go by the trews

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIOXQp-YGpQ - whats the frequency kenneth? REM;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyfaYHMNIuA - Bad by U2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mR8Z-gmK1g - Helplessness Blues by Fleet Foxes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RQjlvKvQwk- wasted hours by arcade fire.

Go Leafs Go!

[TG77]

Posted some tunes, could be in the spam filter. Cheers everyone.

VM Replies: Sorry! It must be the multiple YouTube links, though sometimes they go through. Posted now.

[Katherine]

Vinay, don't tell Sensi-Bill but I love you, man. lol

I know a few haters, know a few Ex-Believers. In fact I just texted one and directed him to your blog entry because it's almost like you were writing with him in mind. : )

Go Leafs Go, always.

VM Replies: According to Paul Hendrick, James Reimer gets the start tonight.

[TimB]

Good tunes TG, I'm really liking Fleet Foxes.Still good stuff coming out of Seattle.There is a free download of the song underneath the video if anyone wants it.

[Ken Baumgartner]

Tonight is really the night.

GO LEAFS GO!

[Melissa]

I was praying for Jiggy's groin (weirdest prayer ever...) outcome, Reimer starts? Whooops.... Praying for a W!

[moe green]

Like I said, youth before decrepitude. No seriously, I'm glad to hear Reimer is getting the start. It's sending the right message to the players. And there is no way Reimer is tired. Go Leafs... you know the rest. I don't care how they win this one as long as they win this one. It's tee-times for the boys if they don't get this one right. I wonder how many of them actually prefer golf to hockey? Gulp. Frickin' Kessel. I know that he is a pothead, his headwear tells me so. And they (we) are very fond of golf. We toque-wearing golf-lovers that is.

@ Boo, whatever magic tricks you have in your "witch-bag" unleash them all tonight. I don't just want a victory, I wan't a boring, one-sided shellacking.

[moe green]

"No Lemon Squares tonight" TimB. Someone really needs to turn that into a song.

[Simmer]

the game is on TSN does anyone know if it is national or regional?
bowen or mcguire?

[TimB]

No worries Bomber,all over the blog,we have women praying for Jiggy's jennies.

VM Replies: I will never grow tired of that word.

[moe green]

Here's one:

"Help I'm Alive" by Metric

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtA7YIFapnY

[TimB]

♫ No lemon squares tonight with my tea,
no lemon squares to stand beside me,
no lemon squares to run with me. ♫
How's that Moe?
Gotta find out how VM put those musical notes in his comment awhile back.

VM Replies: Ask and thou shall receive.

[moe green]

TSN = McGuire

[TimB]

Oh No! No one prayed for any of Reimer's body parts!

[Pyramid Power]

Good evening fellow Leaf lovers from a land afar!
Am fortunate I live in a world where there are no hockey fans let alone haters of the glorious blue and white.
When shown the sport on my computer or asked about hockey, they invariably say, "That is a dangerous sport teacher."
"But do you think it is exciting?" Shrugs shoulders with total indifference.
"No, not really teacher. I like ping pong and basketball."

Teacher sighs with sadness, and pines for his days in Toronto when watching games with friends was a nightly occurrence often preceded by taking out both Toronto papers at the time and poring over stats, pondering trades, debating who should play in nets etc....

Btw, I will be hopping mad if we give Giggy another start tonight. Why is Goose not playing? What is the point in playing Groiny when he is gone at the end of this year, and I venture to say his NHL career will be over also?

Great blog as always o fearless leader. Too many laughs. I see We BeLeaf is not on here yet, but he and I have some serious experience as former Yahoors as perhaps others do too. I know TG77 was briefly a Yahoor this year, but am not sure about other posters here. A Yahoor is someone who posts comments at Yahoo. Those comments go unmoderated. And they bring out every kind of troll, hater, Satan worshipper etc,,,, around. Astounding. We BeLeaf is a gentler kinder sort than I so he doesn't get into too many cyberfights as a long-time Yahoor.

Last year a Sabres fan asked him to off himself. As many of you know We BeLeaf is a good guy who just wants to talk hockey, and is completely inoffensive. He somehow took it, but it sparked an all-out war between the Buffalo Sabres fan offender and myself. Have been called a negro and not the nice kind of n word, a gay negro and again not the nice kind of n word, delusional, an idiot, a smart guy as in smart alec, have read EVERY variation of making fun of the Leafs with names like Loafs, Reafs, Make BeLeafs, Make Me Laughs, Laughs, Laffs of course and so on and so forth.

Have had MY life threatened various times, one poster or more stalked me for a LONG time forcing me to change handles at least six times during my never boring time as a Leaf loving Yahoor. A poster said he or she was going to find and rape my daughter (I am serious), and post it on the net to watch and other unimaginable loathing.

One enjoyable thing on Yahoo for me is I have a running bet with a Toronto girl who is the world's ultimate Canadiens fan. After every game between Toronto and Montreal we must pay tribute to each other, call each other gods and disparage our teams in awful heinous ways etc.... THAT is fun especially considering we lead the Canadiens 3-2 in the season series. I invite all of you to Yahoo shortly after the final game of the year to see her hopefully call Pyramid Power a god and other fun things while making fun of her beloved Canadiens. Unimaginable joy.

I have been told I am a Chinese food deliveryboy, have been called a racist and mysogynist somehow because I am a Canadiens hater and proud of it. I think it is every Leafs's fan's duty to hate the Canadiens and vice versa. But it is always fun to give back to those who are Yahoors and hate on the Leafs. I must confess I often give as good as I get, and I enjoyed it.

But my days as a Yahoor mostly ended except for the wager with the traitorous Canadiens loving Toronto resident. We BeLeaf continues to occasionally post, but I would not do so at gunpoint. So much nicer to be here with fellow Leaf lovers for the most part.

Was at the end of my rope as a Yahoor when this outstanding blog came along sometime in September.
Vinay will remember during the early days of this blog when many of you had not yet discovered the joys of Vinay's writing and true devotion to the Leafs I would often make five comments to everyone else's one.

It is so gratifying to me as a fan of Vinay's, the Star and of course the Leafs to see how A LFB has grown into the power and force that it is. Let us harness that power and force collectively starting in a few minutes and will the Leafs on to victory in Raleigh tonight.

GO LEAFS GO! GO LEAFS GO! GO LEAFS GO! GO LEAFS GO!

VM Replies: Wow. I had no idea about the comments on these other sites. Glad I don't have to moderate that kind of madness.

[moe green]

Or this one has suitable energy:

Just love watching Ms Momsen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txBfhpm1jI0

[Farrukh I]

Nice Vinay. props to you as always. Hmm so this neighbor lady? what else can she do like its nobody's business? You better hope the wife doesn't read your blogs. Women can turn any sentence you use and turn it against you. That picture is hilarious? did you photoshop that?

VM Replies: No, that photo was emailed to me. I should put up some of the other ones. Believe it or not, that was one of the better Photoshops.

[Pyramid Power]

Will be very interesting to watch Lashoff tonight, and see how Kadri has progressed. Hope we can contain Eric Staal, and find a way to get few by the amazing Cam Ward. What a display he put on last night in Buffalo.

'Canes will be up for this one of course, and Paul Maurice will undoubtedly have them ready to roll. Will Wilson? Will we come out of the gate hard, and score the first goal and outplay our opponents early? Let us see.

GO LEAFS GO! GO LEAFS GO! GO LEAFS GO!

[Melissa]

TimB... I'm on it I'm ON IT! He's shielded!!

[moe green]

You are a true-blue Habs-hating Leaf fan Pyramid Power. Keep spreading the disease all over the world! Go Leafs, Please, Please Go!

[moe green]

Was that no interference on Lupul?

[moe green]

Was that a real penalty on Crabb?

[Pyramid Power]

I would really like to think I spread Leaf love Moe. Not Hab hate. I don't teach my students to loathe the Canadiens, they are taught about hockey occasionally and of course I tell them to love the Leafs.

"Keep spreading the disease all over the world!" Yeesh! Can you word that a little better please? :)

VM Replies: I'm tempted to muck with your screen name and turn you into Syphilis Power for this game.

[moe green]

Leafs hate of Habs is a great rivalry. When the Leafs are eliminated and I am forced to cheer for another team the Habs are at the top of my list. Sorry Leafland. The disease is Leaf-lovin' Pyramid!

[Ken Baumgartner]

That is right , Kadri's playing tonight. Hope he has some new perspective with the addition seasoning.

[Pyramid Power]

The level of despair within Leaf Nation is clear by the lack of Leafs posters over at Yahoo tonight. Very few comments when usually there are many more.
We BeLeaf is not even there.

Just found an outstanding stream and can start watching this.

Let's do this indeed!

GO LEAFS GO!

[Ken Baumgartner]

Grabbo is wearing A. That is a nice choice.

[moe green]

Glad to see they gave Grabovski the "A"

[moe green]

I am sick of these inept "automatron" officials. Time to get some quality back into officiating. These calls and non-calls are preposterous.

[Pyramid Power]

lol Vinay and Moe. Don't you dare Vinay!

Quiet crowd in Raleigh. Kind of surprised, and I suppose in a happy way, that Jiri Tlusty is still up with the Hurricanes and seems to be doing pretty well.

I say give Grabbo the A and strip it from Komisarek permanently despite however good Mike is in the room.

[moe green]

Why can't we do that?

[Ken Baumgartner]

What is McGuire talking about with Reimer glove being high, The puck went in low.

[moe green]

So Cole crashing the net. Is that a penalty to Toronto or Carolina. Doesn't it have to go to someone???

[Pyramid Power]

VERY questionable hooking call on Boyce. Aaaahhhh poop. Larose scored on a nice deflection.

No chance for Jimmy. Sad we once again give up the first goal.

Phanoof just rocked Cole. Beautiful.

[moe green]

Useless shot by Lupul. Bac angle bread-basket. Nice.

[moe green]

Boz-ack-ack-ack. I can't... Why not Kadri, Kessel and Lupul? Bozak. Please. Nice feed by Kessel. Next goal is the game tonight guys.

[moe green]

Leafs help Carolina break their 0-26 PP streak.

[Pyramid Power]

Nice pass by Kessel, but Bozak has to show more finish. Stop the puck Tyler, move right, shoot puck into yawning cage. Easy for me to say though, much harder to do of course. Just saw the reply. Would have been tough to do that to say the least.

Joslin just blew by Komisarek for a chance. I don't know what is wrong with Mike. I just don't. Expected so much more from him.

Really hoping Nasty Nazem can bag a goal or three tonight.

GO LEAFS GO!

[moe green]

Our defense is lost out there.

[moe green]

Am I imagining it or is our defense complete crap? Is it me? They need some sore of professional guidance.

[red5]

Oh, another instant classic post VM!

One question, is the woman that can parallel park single?

VM Replies: Yes. I mean, I'm not sure.

[moe green]

The phrase "rudderless bums" jumps to mind!

[Boo Who?]

Looks like my phone has decided to jump off the bandwagon - it didn't bother to tell me Carolina had scored. Oh, fudge.

Am now more than a little concerned about the effects my prayers have on men's groins...what happened to Jiggy being in net?

[Ken Baumgartner]

Bozak may be hard pressed to make the team next year. He just can't seem to compete at this speed. He will need some growing to do that is for sure

[moe green]

Damned Wilson. So now he has Kadri, Kessle and Lupul. How long will he keep them together. two shifts?

[tml67]

Gotta love those last minute goals! GO LEAFS GO!!

[Ken Baumgartner]

Those rudderless bums just tied it at the end of the period. Nice.

[Boo Who?]

Praise the Lord and pass the Koolaid! A goal! An honest to goodness goal!

[maxwelledison]

Vinay: We may happily be forced into further addressing you as... Sir Vinay Menon, after penning (okay typing) perhaps the finest dissection of faux pax hockey 'fans', in sports media history! You are indeed, sport journalism's ultimate tray of lemon square finesse. My oven glove salute, to you sir.
As post script, I humbly submit-thereby suggest- there is indeed... another group that needs your finite attention...
Towit: The Duals.
I call them (us) LeaBres.
But... I need to watch this game now... last night was pain incorporated!
I'm back-on at pre-dawn!
Leafs 4 to 2.

VM Replies: Thank you, maxwelledison. You know, a piece about dual allegiances would be interesting. Perhaps a guest post from your pen/keyboard?
Something to think about.

[Pyramid Power]

Big goal by Dion to tie it up. Good job Captain.

1-1 to the second. Have to be happy about that. Broke up Ward's shutout streak.

GO LEAFS GO!

[Boo Who?]

Hold the (literal) phone - we were outshot 11 to 5 and Dion 'Couldn't-hit-the-side-of-a-barn' Phaneuf is the guy that potted one for us? *places ear to ground to check for thundering hooves of the Four Horsemen*

[TimB]

Pyramid,about all those things I said to you at Yahoo! I meant them in the nicest way possible.
And about the game tonight.Which team looks like they want a go at post season?

[TimB]

And thanks,Melissa!

[moe green]

"Nasty" will be his nickname ONCE he can back it up. It's like "the Monster" was a little premature to say the least. Though Gustavsson does look a lot like "Chaka" from Land of the Lost. Maybe that should be his nickname.

http://www.cinemablend.com/images/news_img/11827/_11827.jpg

[moe green]

"Rudderless Bums" was the defense in their own zone bomber. On the PP they are wonderful angels.

[Pyramid Power]

I would vote for Toronto lad Steven Stamkos for the Hart, but imagine Sedin might get it again this year.

Have to give Lemaire consideration for the Adams, but I like the job Dan Blysma (sp?) has done keeping Pittsburgh going without the best player in the world, arguably, and Malkin. Remarkable. Glad to see Sid back skating. Hope he will be back for the playoffs.

Thomas for the Vezina. Couture or, again bias here, local lad Skinner for the Calder. No showing your Calder potential tonight please Jeff! Please.

Will be interesting to see if Sedin wins the Hart, but the players vote for someone else as what happened last year when OV won the Terrible Ted Lindsay award for MVP in voting by his peers.

[moe green]

I know Boo, and just after I referred to him as a member of the "rudderless bums" in his own zone. What a perplexing game this is. Maybe he can score another and really freak us out.

[Melissa]

your welcome! I actually asked the big guy upstairs for a win after I prayed for jiggy's groin (I mean he's got to be a leaf fan too right?) maybe that's why jiggy's not playing. HMMMM...

I'm just thankful we got out of the period alive and Reimer was able to hold it after that goal. 12 shots on us. That was bru-tal... Can someone help the leafs realize the game starts in the 1st period not the 2nd?

[Ken Baumgartner]

Reimer is looking good tonight. I like that.

[Pyramid Power]

Tim Too funny. Thank you for saying all those awful things in the nicest way possible. You are a gentleman and a scholar.

I would definitely say the 'Canes look like the better team so far. Being outshot, outchanced and outplayed. Thank God Ronnie started Jimmy in nets.

[Ken Baumgartner]

We need a quick one and we have a chance.

[moe green]

Phaneuf scores his second of the night? Kadri?