After the Leafs destroyed the Bruins, I went for a stroll in the glow of that damn Supermoon. Who knows, right? If this rare lunar phenomenon can influence the Leafs the way it did, maybe it can help answer a few questions.
It was the Super Leafs, led by players who weren't even in the line-up on opening night. These kids, the future, should've been wearing capes.
"Great game, eh?" said my neighbour, who appeared from nowhere and joined me on the sidewalk. "They're still alive."
"Yeah, the boys were flying tonight," I said, staring into the night sky and searching for answers. "It was a weird one, that's for sure."
The truth is, it was bizarre even before the puck dropped.
During the opening ceremony to honour Bill Barilko, Howie Meeker pumped Dion Phaneuf's hand like a Southern preacher and exclaimed: "Welcome to Toronto, big fella! It's a hell of a city."
A few seconds later, as the Leafs were circling before the opening faceoff, Ron Wilson could be seen... smiling. I hit rewind on the PVR to make sure I was not hallucinating. Nope. His tongue was pressed between his teeth and he was grinning like Charlie Sheen at a Vegas brothel.
Then the game started and things really got weird.
Luke Schenn opened the scoring at 9:44 when the Supermoon transformed him into Bobby Orr. An end-to-end rush? What? Cutting around a defenceman and then wristing a shot that made Tim Thomas look as fragile as Tiny Tim?
"Wow," mouthed Schenn, right after scoring.
Even he was freaked out by the paranormal activity swirling around the ice.
Before the period was over, Nazem Kadri scored his first NHL goal. Kaberle was feted with a video montage set to U2's "Where The Streets Have No Name." People in the crowd were wearing wigs and dancing the funky chicken.
But the Supermoon was just getting started.
In the second, Joey Crabb scored at 7:49, for his third point of the game. Then 29 seconds later, Mike Brown powered past Kaberle and raced down the right side toward Thomas – Fu Manchu versus Regrettable Moustache.
The Fu Manchu went five-hole and the Regrettable Moustache was chased from the game as the Supermoon beamed emotional misery down upon the Boston bench.
Shawn Thornton looked like he was about to cry. Tyler Seguin, stoned twice by James Reimer earlier in the period, glanced around, as if in need of a teddy bear to snuggle.
Coach Claude Julien, usually so animated, now leaned against the glass, his left hand tucked into his pocket, his face imprinted with the tortured confusion of a man who had just accidentally dropped his car keys into a sewer grate.
Tuukka Rask – who could be cast as a young Rosie O'Donnell in a biopic given his eyes, face and temperament – fumbled with his equipment and was thrust into the firing line, as the Leafs continued to get weird bounces and odd odd-man rushes.
Rask made a huge save on Joffrey Lupul. Then he was beat on a long shot from Keith Aulie, which prompted him to toss his arms up toward the Supermoon and unwisely berate teammate Dennis Seidenberg the way a surly chef unloads on an underling.
With less than a minute to play in the period, the Supermoon even affected the chanting. As God is my witness, this is what I heard: "How do you eat a vegetable? RAW! RAW! RAW!"
When the third period started, Thomas – who never removed his helmet and cage while moping on the bench – was back in net but it didn't matter. No, by then, the Supermoon had decreed this game would end 5-2, with the Leafs celebrating and people spilling into the streets to howl at the sky and Don Cherry yammering on about Judge Judy's fly-swatter.
"It's not over until it's over," said Reimer, in his post-game interview.
GAME PHOTOGRAPHY: STEVE RUSSELL/TORONTO STAR