Have a Happy, Homey New Year!

So, what are you doing for New Year's Eve?

Better question. Do you really care?

When I met my husband, Marty, and we were dating, on the second date, he asked me out for New Year's. I thought he was a little cracked.

It was July.

Later, he confessed that he didn't want to take any chances of someone else slipping in ahead of him.

He didn't know that there was no one beating a path to my door. Never, ever before had anyone ever asked me out for New Year's Eve. I was 50. 

This has never been a problem. I have never felt deprived because I have spent 50 New Year's Eves on my own, usually alone, or with one of my dogs. Often, I feast on a big bowl of popcorn and entertain myself with an old movie, or better still, a good book.

On several occasions, I've spent a few hours kibitzing with a friend on the phone. Occasionally, I've watched on TV as "the ball dropped" in Times Square, but more often I'm sound asleep long before midnight.

The point is, I have never been particularly excited about celebrating New Year's Eve the way most people traditionally do. Making merry. Dressing up. Dining out on exorbitant, outrageously-priced, often mediocre restaurant fare. Drinking too much. Whooping it up with a bunch of strangers. Pretending to be having a grand old time.

For one thing, I don't drink.There's nothing more boring than watching a bunch of people get silly and inebriated. 

What's even worse, is that everyone is trying so hard to have a good time. The expectations always outstrip the reality. It's usually a big disappointment according to most people I know who "go out on the town on New Year's."

Isn't is just another night of the week? Especially when it falls on a Wednesday?

I suspect, although I could be wrong, that many people may scale back on their New Year's celebrations this year and perhaps re-think how to spend this night. Just as many people have carefully reflected on the meaning and values of Christmas gift giving and refocused on the people they love and care about more than the presents they may have, in years past, cost them outrageous amounts of money. 

You cannot help but give this some thought.

Marty, if you want to know, has never "taken me out for New Year's" because I've never wanted to be "taken out." I prefer small intimate gatherings at home and that's how we have spent our eight New Year's Eve's together, thus far. This will be our ninth. We either have a few people in or visit friends. At most, there are four or five couples. This year, there will be six of us, not all "couples," either. Six good friends.

We have a pot luck dinner which is always more delicious than anything you can buy in a restaurant. This year, Thai food is on the menu and I'm making Pad Thai. 

What's best about spending a quiet New Year's with friends at home is the feeling of warmth, closeness and camaraderie.

There are no extra-special expectations and we're never disappointed.

If you're a list-maker, here is a list of 10 good reasons to reframe your New Year's Eve and celebrate at home:

1. It's warm.
2. The price of drinks is right. 
3. Ditto for the food, which if it's home made is far better than anything you'll find in any restaurant.   
4. There are always second helpings. 
5. There's no chance of colliding in your car with a drunk driver.  
6. You can go to bed at 12:01 a.m. or at 11:59 p.m. – and skip it altogether.
7. You don't have to get all dressed up – no tuxedo rentals, no sequins – you can spend the evening in your p.j.'s all night. 
8. You can sing  Auld Lang Syne at the top of your lungs even if you can't carry a tune.
9. You can go onto the Internet and really celebrate New Year's – around the world, in every time zone. You'll be up all night. You'll be New Year's Eve'd-out but it might be fun, for a change!
10. In the quiet of your home, you can spend a few solitary moments reflecting back on the past year and think about how you can make 2009 a little better, in whatever way that's meaningful for you.  

I wish you health, most of all. Peace of mind. Happiness of heart. Calm. A year of sweetness. In Judaism, we celebrate New Year's in the fall. We cut up apples and dip them in honey,to symbolize a sweet New Year. You could try that, too. If nothing else, it tastes delicious.

Be well. It is an honour for me to be able to spend time with you here. To communicate with you. To share with you. See you in 2009!

Comments

[Susan]

Happy New Year Sandy.

One more reason to stay at home on New Years= the dogs/cats get to celebrate it with you!

[Sonia]

Hello Sandy,

My favourite New Years' Eve celebrations were when I was babysitting (about 8 years worth of New Years' Eves). I'd be picked up in mid afternoon on the 31st, and driven to the family home. The parents would prepare for their party, then leave shortly after dark (4-5 pm) leaving the kids to show me their presents, and the pile of stuff we could enjoy until their bedtime (usually around 10 pm). I'd get a few hours of peace.

Then, at midnight, I'd phone home, wish my parents a Happy New Year, chat a bit, and let them get some sleep. It was fun for there were three of us (2 older sisters) away from home, and we'd race to see which of us would phone home first. Then, I got to watch the classic movies in black and white, listen to the wind blow, hear the church bells, and eventually, the crunch of tires.

I always got to spend the night, have my first meal of the year with the family where I had babysat, and then be driven home in daylight (sober drivers even back then).

Our special moment came in the late afternoon with the annual blessing of the family as we kneeled around the Christmas tree. It sounds corny now, but it felt comforting at the time. While the rest of the year was less healthy, this moment was a silent communion with siblings, parents, and warm thoughts of distant family.

As years have passed, and tasks have changed, the movies at home and the midnight phone calls to loved ones have continued.

May your phone ring with glad tidings each year.

Sonia

[Sandy Naiman]

Susan and Sonia,

Thank you for your New Year's thoughts and recollections. "Coming Out Crazy" would not be nearly as captivating without you and all those who have the courage to comment here. You inspire me. This dialogue is the most exciting facet of writing a blog. When I try to explain to people unfamiliar with "the new media" and "the blogosphere," it is this very dialogue that I discuss. I find it the most enchanting aspect of blogging.

So it is to you, that I offer my heartfelt thanks. You make this blog LIVE! You stretch my imagination and extend the experience of examining a subject that for too long has not been easily enough or often enough discussed openly. Our emotional and mental wellness and all the aspects of our lives that can do us psychological, spiritual, inner harm or conversely, that can help us heal.

It's an endlessly absorbing subject. I never run out of things to muse about, but it is your reactions and reflections, insights and introspection, vision and wisdom that help me to learn more, explore more, research more, question more and share more.

I thank you and wish you and everyone who visits "Coming Out Crazy" a good and gentle 2009. Healthy, above all else. Without health, what else is there?

Cheers,
Sandy

[Dominique Millette]

This is very pertinent. It's true that holidays and celebrations in general can, paradoxically, make people feel worse about their lives and themselves if they're alone. These occasions are meant to be social and happy but for some, all the hubbub makes them feel they are "missing out", and somehow ought to feel "pathetic" for not going out with a posse. And this is when it's important to point out that yes, it's just another day. When you're away from family and friends, a holiday can be a day off, to sleep in or soak in the tub - or both (but preferably not at the same time).

[Sandy Naiman]

Absolutely.

Thank you, Dominique. And Happy New Year, however you wish to "celebrate" it!

Sandy