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Coming Out Crazy



  • After 30 years as a reporter, feature writer and columnist for The Toronto Sun, Sandy is now a freelance writer, public speaker, mental health advocate and Seneca College instructor. You can learn more about Sandy here, and contact her here.

    "Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light." Groucho Marx

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March 11, 2009

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Wellness Writer

Dear Sandy,
Good for you! I think it's so important for medical students to meet those of us who don't fit the stereotypes. I've often felt that aside from their training, one of the key problems with psychiatrists is that most of them probably only meet the sickest BIPS (bipolars) and DEPS (depressives) in the psych wards. And they probably rarely talk to people who are fully functional.

Susan
P.S. I'm a little stunned by how many people don't seek treatment.

Tammy MacKenzie

Another great article Sandy.

I am not surprised that fewer people are getting help.
Now, there are fewer resources for more people, and the cost is prohibitive for many. The only OHIP covered help is a psychiatrist, requiring a referal from your doctor - many people don't have family doctors, or the doctor would rather treat themselves and get the billing (especially as drugs are the treatment of choice, it seems).
I would bet that the much higher numbers of single parents play into it as well, for fear that children will be taken away, or that a hostile ex will use it as an excuse to have them declared unfit.

You have it right: Open minds are needed to remove the myths, stereotypes and barriers that tag along with mental/emotional health issues, and how people who are coping with them are treated.

John McManamy

Yes! Crazy! Not only that - crazy and proud!

Thanks for spreading enlightenment, Sandy. :)

Fatemeh

You definitely provided a fresh look at Mental Health, and I am so pleased with how positive all the responses were. I am sure you have left a lasting impression on many minds, and am most grateful for your candid talk.

On another note, just saw this in The Star on the potential for erasing harmful memories.

http://www.healthzone.ca/health/article/601600

It is so tempting to believe that a few cells erased will do the same work as years of psychotherapy, but so far, it seems too good to be true.. time will tell.

In the mean time, I have been converted to a proponent of the recovery movement and the need for psychotherapy as opposed to drugs solely, thanks to your teachings!

All the best,
Fateme

Sandy Naiman

Finally, I have a minute to respond to the comments to my most recent post. What a wild week this has been.

How lovely to take a bit of a breathe, before going to visit my oral surgeon in 20 minutes!

You are all so wonderful, Susan, Tammy, and John! Sonia, always. No one likes to talk to me about anything smacking of "mental" – whatever it is. I figured "thinking" is "mental" so they're be a lot of takers. After all, I work in post secondary education. But not when you tack on the word "illness" – it's a real conversation stopper!

Even "mental" on it's own is tainted. To bad, since without our mentality, we'd be vegetables.

And that's the point. I'm not particularly enlightened. I'm just out there and willing to share and engage and field or answer questions if I can, agree to disagree and even admit quite openly that "I don't know anything about that."

It' a real education, too. I learn so much from the the people who come to see me and engage. I'm sure of it!

One of the Queen's students asked me a question about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which I understand can be very helpful for some people. But I've never done it, so I said that.

"I just don't know enough about it to answer your question as it deserves to be answered. It's a good question."

That's one of the greatest lessens I've learned in my years of public speaking and mental health advocacy. If you don't know the answer, say so. It's a great thing to do in the classroom, too. I also tack on, "but I'll try to find out for you!" Students love that. They expect you to know everything, but I make it clear that I not only don't, but that I learn a great deal from them and that I'm great at making mistakes. That's the best way to learn. You tend to remember mistakes, or at least I do, and then I try not to repeat them.

Kids feel encouraged when you tell them that.

Susan, you are so right. Shrinks-in-training see all the worst-case scenarios. Read old outmoded case histories. They're behind the times. Academics so often are.

Seasoned shrinks in practice see people in real time who've grown and developed and graduated into their meaningful and meaning-making lives.

But I know that 75% statistic is true. What really shocked me was that it's risen 9%, even though psychiatric "survivors" (another term I hate) are coming out increasingly.

I suspect the media is also desperately in need of education.

And government institutions.

Not to mention the entire world!

Tammy, you are so insightful. Your concerns are ones I do not address very often because I have not experienced poverty. Thank you for your candour and for you invariably intelligent, insightful comments in this ongoing dialogue.

And thank you for being my moral support at Queen's and sitting front row centre during my talk – a friendly and familiar face. And a great stand-in for my husband, who usually plays that role.

It was great to finally meet you and have lunch with you and learn more about you.

Finally, John. "Enlightenement?" Me? You're the author of a brilliant book. A must-read for anyone with a mood disorder: "Living Well with Depression and Bipolar Disorder."

You buoy my spirits.

Ooooops. Must run. Dr. Diamond, periodontist extraordinarie awaits. Hopefully with his stitch snipper!

Thank you, all!

Have a great weekend.
xox
sln

Sandy Naiman

I am so pleased, Fateme.

That was my goal for my Queen's keynote. To "convert" as you say, at least one person. I'm glad it was you. As for the story you post... that's a whole post in itself, but I suspect that it has limited uses. Wiping out memory wipes out identity and a lot of other good stuff, too. I wouldn't be up for it. And I have some horrifying memories, but I've learned where to stick them, what mental albums they belong to, how to keep those albums shut or when to open them.

Those skills come only, I believe, through the talking therapies. They are healing. Medical doctors deal with mental illnesses, while psychotherapists deal with healing our minds.

Two different paradigms. Recovery bridges them. Recovery is healing.

Erasing memory is a gimmick, I think. It might help with some bad traumatic, soul destroying memories – like rape – but not all of one's life is made up of one's bad memories. Often we don't remember them at all until we're ready to work on them. Our minds take the lead and readiness cannot be predicted or forced.

It's the way you interpret your memories that is helpful. Those interpretations change over time and as you mature.

It's the old "peeling the onion" metaphor I love so much. There is no quick fix. It's all about journeying. Speaking of which... I must run.

I'm late for a very important date with my periodontist.

Cheers,
sln

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