Here's to a hopeful 2010!

Did you have a good Christmas? I hope so. Now, you're probably recuperating. Relaxing or Boxing Week bargain-hunting. Having fun. Movie-going. Just hanging out with friends. 

Meanwhile, I've noticed that traffic is very light here right now. It died down on December 23 and it's stayed quiet. Commenting has fallen off completely. I think that's a good sign. Better to spend time with people you care about, people who love you, going out and about in the "real" world" instead of staying glued to the "virtual world" of your computer.

And you know what? I'm exhausted. I've been flying off the handle at Marty lately and he doesn't know why. Exhaustion. That's why. It's more insidious than sleeplessness.

Considering that I taught all last year (2008-2009), finished a book during my two months off in May and June 2009, taught all summer and then started again in September and as you know, had a disastrous marking period this term.Then there was Christmas. Now, I'm simply running on empty.

Utterly worn out and worn down.

So, I've decided to take a wee break. I feel I need it. I'm bone-tired. With New Year's Eve looming and another late night, my body and my mind are desperate for some real rest, relaxation, recharging, refreshing and recuperating. 

I call those the five "R's" of holiday recovery. (Yes, recovery has many facets.)

I've learned to be able to hear my body and to recognize its signals of potential exhaustion. Lack of sleep is a serious trigger for me. But what causes the sleeplessness? That's the key. I must understand that, too. It takes insight. If I ignore those signals and those reasons, I can run into real trouble. Mainly mania – big time. Better to prevent than to treat. Head it off at the pass. Call Dr. Bob. But psychiatrists need a holiday, too. So I'm taking it out on my closest substitute. My darling husband. We've talked about it. 

Also, I've learned never to make New Year's Resolutions. They're too breakable. (Although last year, I did make one and I managed to keep it about 99.9% of the time. I resolved not send "forwards" – you know, those cute emails saying or mildly threatening that if you don't "forward" this to 2,500 of your closest, nearest and dearest friends in three seconds flat, you'll wake up dead tomorrow, or some such.)

Well, this past year, I didn't. I ignored them. And guess what? I'm still here!

Mind you, this was a pretty stressful year for me, but I really learned a great deal from all the major mistakes I made, so I suppose all that stress was worth it.

Anyway, that's one resolution I enjoyed making and keeping. But the others, like losing 400 lbs. by mid-April, or working out 17 times a week. I didn't make those resolutions and I'm doing fine without them. And without the guilt that goes along with them.

Speaking of which... I want to share with you a few little things I've learned in 2009. I've learned to stop doing two things:

1. I've stopped worrying. It serves no purpose and it's a waste of energy.

2. I've stopped feeling guilty. For the same reason.

My husband rarely ever worries or feels guilty and he's a most calm and peaceful human being. A veritable rock. My rock. So, after nine years of marriage, I thought I'd try it and it works. Instead of worrying, I've learned to make lemons out of lemonade. Gallons of it. 

If I find myself feeling guilty, I remind myself that this completely wasted emotion can be resolved if I try to do something about it.

Apologizing is a great way to start. I've learned how to apologize with meaning.

Not just saying, "I'm sorry." If you listen to The Last Lecture by the late Carnegie Mellon University professor Randy Pausch, you'll discover that a good apology has three parts:

1. What I did was wrong.

2. I feel badly that I hurt you.

3. How do I make you feel better?

Try it.

And now, I'm going to end this post with my wishes for you.

Try to ensure that, not like me, you give yourself the greatest of all gifts. Time. To refresh, recharge, rest, relax and recuperate. Not just now, but throughout the year.

Enjoy that time. Feel good about it.

As for 2010, I sense it's going to be a good year. I'm going to try to make it good. And I wish that goodness for you, too. That desire and that determination to participate and partner in the goodness that 2010 is going bring. If you help it along, you can almost bet that you'll have a good year.

One never knows for sure, but taking action and doing things to bring about change cannot hurt.

Most of all, I wish you health. Without it, what else is there?

Have a healthy 2010. Be safe. Be well. I'll be back next week. Now, I'm going to relax for the rest of the day. I'm not going to do anything. No work. No shopping. No nothing.

For the next week, nothing. Nothing at all.

Finally, I want to thank you for all you have done to make Coming Out Crazy live. Without you, we wouldn't be here. You've shared so many wise and thoughtful insights here, enriched what begins as a monologue and turned it into an ongoing dynamic dialogue. You're honest and candid and courageous. You help to heal everyone who reads you. You inspire me. You challenge me. You keep me in my thinking and growing and evolving.

I couldn't write here week after week without you and I want you to know how grateful I am.

Here's to continuing your journey of recovery. Here's to a hopeful 2010!

xox

sln

Comments

[susan]

Happy Happy New Year Dearest Sandy.

Yes, the traffic is light, don't worry.....just enjoy the time off with hubby and doggies.

xxxx

susan

ps I don't make New Year's resolutions either. ..

[Sandy Naiman]

I wish you a good, stable, peaceful and productive year, too, dear, dear Susan ~ and Holly.

Health, most of all. Happiness can come only with health. Your writing has improved so vastly since October, I am very excited for you.

You're focusing at http://ifyouregoingthoughhellkeepgoing.blogspot.com/ and it really shows. Keep at it and never believe for a moment that you cannot write. That's the depression talking. You write so stunningly about not being able to write. Stay positive and let's chat in the 2010, okay?

Many hugs and many thanks for all your support.

xox
s

[Angi]

Sandy
Happy New Year! I'm glad that you're sensing that 2010 will be a good year. Always listen to your gut, that's something I've learned and it hasn't disappointed me.
I don't make resolutions either and am glad to know that I'm not alone in the hoopla of these promises.
Keep well.

Angi

[zuzuernie.wordpress.com]

I enjoy your blog! My husband sounds like yours. I do wish I could be more like him. He's always so relaxed. (Or at least seems to be!) Blessings on a wonderful 2010!

[Sandy Naiman]

Hi Angi and Zuzu,

Thanks for the good wishes and the vote of confidence. I'm glad I'm not like my husband, though. He's very calm and laid back. We're very different which makes for a lively time here. Nonetheless, he is very wise and I've learned a great deal living with him. He's made me a better person.

On Wednesday, I woke up with yet another bout of the flu which has plagued me this fall. High fever, queasy stomach, headache. My New Year's Party with friends is toast, but I suspect this is a good omen.

In the film "It's Complicated," which I strongly recommend even if you are not a middle aged woman – http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/20/magazine/20Meyers-t.html?_r=1&scp=2&sq=Nancy%20Meyers&st=cse – you learn that starting an architectural dig in the rain is a good omen.

Well, I suspect having the flu on New Year's Eve is a good omen, too. Anyway, that's how I'm interpreting it. So, 2010 is going to be a great year! I feel it in my gut, I trust my gut, even if my gut is not feeling great right now. :)

Here's to a good year! Happy New Year and thank you Angie and Zuzu for chiming in on the last days of the 2009. Great timing.

Be well and take care.

All the best to you!
xox
sln

[WillSpirit]

This is my first visit. Love the no worry/no guilt concept. Like you, I avoid resolutions, but for 2010 I decided to make one: keep spiritual truths in mind. Nothing doctrinal, just the basic themes of universal love, cosmic unity, and the rightness of creation. Seeing 'rightness' is a matter of attitude. Such as your thought that flu on New Year's Eve is a good omen. I suppose if you start the year recovering from the flu, then you head into it on an upswing. Good way to look at things. Thank you.

[Sandy Naiman]

Hi WillSpirit,

Welcome and thank you. I hope I'm recovering from this flu which is still plaguing me. But it could be worse. I love your attitude. That's what I would call your resolution. You cannot break it. It's charming and very positive. Also, I'm thrilled that you pluralized the world "truth" ~ as far as I'm concerned there are many truths.

I wish you all the best and hope you return. I like the sound of your voice. You would be a wonderful addition to our dialogue and our community.

Take care and wish me well. The good news is, this morning for the first time in days, I awoke with a temperature of 98.6 degrees F. This is a vast improvement over yesterday Sunday morning, when it was 101.7!

Hugs and have a Healthy, Happy, Harmonious and Hopeful 2010!

Speak soon...

sln