What kids wear

Today David Graham discussed his story - Back to the Fashion Battles - in which child development experts say that kids should be allowed to wear what they want, that it's a safe and healthy form of growth. Do you agree or not? Send your comments to nakedlunch@thestar.ca.

And join us again next Thursday for another Naked Lunch chat.

Humans are very tribal. I think that we dress like peers in order to feel we belong. Just look at the various cliques in schools - they each have their own code of dress. And it continues on as we get older too. How many of us feel that we need the season's "it" purse in order to be accepted by our fashion peers? Or that we must wear Prada on our feet? Is that necessarily a bad thing? Or does it mean that we fashion enthusiasts simply have not matured? That we are still insecure children at heart? Bernadette

I think a lot of kids appropriate the look without embracing the associated lifestyle. How many kids in the sixties dressed like hippies without necessarily taking an anti-war stance? We have to presume they are innocent. The real gift here is that some kids literally wear their emotions on their sleeve and they may be presenting an opportunity to talk about what goth means to them and why they find the look appealing. David

As a parent, I am not so worried about the fashions, but about the lifestyle that may be associated with certain "looks". For instance, if a teenagers gets a Mohawk hairstyle, are they doing drugs with their friends? Bernadette

Thanks for your comments. Mostly, as an adult deeply embedded in the workforce I agree with you. But I had to learn a lot of these lessons the hard way. And in my youth I made a lot of mistakes. So in the long run I agree with the child development experts who suggest fashion can be a launching point for discussions about appropriate attire. Rather that just tell a student that their clothes are wrong, ask them to explain why they are making these choices. In some sense it could be percieved as an opportunity for all parties to learn something about each other and the power of fashion. David

As a teacher of 12-13 year olds, I cannot tell you how many students arrive at school showing midriffs, bra straps, cleavage and wearing shirts with offensive slogans on them. Patterns and styles, goth or punk, coloured hair, these are not the issues and are fine with me. The issue is students showing too much skin and bringing a sexual element into the classroom, or a violent/anti-social mentality based on slogans. It becomes difficult to establish a positive relationship with students who are in their rebellious years and are resisting school and whose relationship to the teacher will be crucial for their learning, when I continually have to tell them that their dress is inappropriate for school. Where are the parents in this? They must have purchased the clothing for their kids and must be sending the message that it's okay to wear this to school. Teachers would like parents to take more of an active role in ensuring that their children are dressed properly for the circumstances. Mats

Comments

[Jan T]

I agree with the teacher Mats. We, as parents, have to guide the kids to dress appropriately.After all, we don't go to work ( or shouldn't ) half naked.We have to teach them decency, but still allow the kids to be able to express themselves and be able to find their niche. We also have to teach them that how they choose to dress will also give others a pre conceived notion on what they are like as people.As my 14 yr old found out. He has a heart of gold and wouldnt hurt a fly, but he went through a punk stage, makeup, mohawk, the clothes, the lot. Athough it was the rule not to wear the makeup/hair to school, he did wear it out to the movies, and a concert with friends. And yes, they did get some not so positive attention from some older kids. But he also grew out of the stage a little quicker as we were willing to allow him to be able to "express" himself to a point, but still enforcing the decency that should be coming from the parents.Afterall, WE are the grownups here aren't we?

[Alexander]

Being a high school student, I think that sometimes parents and teachers can be too hard on kids, because they dress different. But they don't realize that they may be actually helping the kid to find more reason to continue dressing the way that they do. I think that dress also expresses one's individuality. It helps to establish an identity. But being a Christian, I believe there is a line to be drawn. Some clothes may be too graphic or revealing. I think that those kinds of clothes have a reason for being banned or the kids wearing them to be mistrusted. If a kid labeled a nerd was to show up in clothes a ‘cool’ kid wore, that would not make him or her ‘cool’. But it's not the clothes that make the kid. It just helps a bit as a creative outlet.

[diane]

I love leggings. I'd rather see leggings than mini dresses without stockings of anykind. I checked out a site called Buffalo Gal Vintage. com and bought a great Baby Doll Dress ( it actually was a Victorian dress that was turned into a Mini) and found the perfect pair of lace leggings.Leggings look great on most girls. Just not short girls who wear them with flats. It pulls the attention to their feet. Legging with heels are hot. Although I try to look hot I like to be cool and don't care if other girls in school are wearing the same thing.