Spinning freely....

Transport Minister Jean Lapierre is the one Liberal all sovereignists love to hate, so when he emerged from Question Period to field a few questions about his views on the Clarity Act - he memorably dubbed it as "useless" in 2004 - Bloc Québécois staffers spotted their opportunity.

As journalists grilled Lapierre (former cabinet minister Sheila Copps, now a Sun Media columnist, was especially insistent) BQ communications staff scurried off. They shortly returned and began flitting around the media scrum, stuffing newspaper clippings into the hands of reporters that contained verbatim quotes from Lapierre, the better to confront him with his exact words.

Here's One Way To Beat Rush Hour

Premier Dalton McGuinty was under fire today for flying a chartered plane from Toronto to Hamilton for a fundraiser last Thursday night.

McGuinty made the gruelling 70 kilometre flight in order to avoid traffic gridlock.

"You flew from Toronto to Hamilton, a distance of less than 70 kilometres. There are tens of thousands of people, including myself, who commute each day to work and deal with gridlock," Progressive Conservative MPP John O'Toole (Durham) lectured the premier in the Legislature.

"They don’t have the luxury of flying to where their next meeting is, or in your case, where their next dinner party is. You may be thinking it’s OK to catch a jet to Hamilton, but clearly, the evidence is that you just don’t get it," thundered O'Toole.

"Premier, are you willing to get your head out of the clouds and work toward gridlock solutions that ordinary Canadians and Ontarians can understand?" he said.

Perhaps wisely, the premier ducked the question, deferring it to Transportation Minister Harinder Takhar, who is responsible for easing the province's traffic woes.

"Let me first correct the member. The plane was chartered by the Liberal Party and paid for by the Liberal Party," said Takhar.

Let nothing you dismay

Our apologies from Ottawa for being AWOL so long. But as you'll see, it's been for a good cause. And no, it's not because we were "busy" with "election preparation." Bah, humbug.

With a Christmas election approaching, we set out on the more serious business of finding holiday tunes to suit this strangest of seasons. Here follows what we found -- all written anonymously, of course, inside and outside the Star.

And if you are inspired, feel free to send us your own suggestions. Who knows, maybe we can even get a record producer interested...

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The Christmas Election Song
Red Books roasting on an open fire/
Steve Harper nipping at your ass/
Yule-tide vows being spun by a liar/
And folks dressed up like candidates/
Everybody knows a turkey and some TV spots/
Help to make the season bright/
New Democrats with their chances all but shot/
Will find it hard to sleep tonight/
They know that Ralph is on his way/
He's loaded lots of bribes and goodies on his sleigh/
And every mother's child is gonna spy/
To see if Liberal promises can really fly/

And so I'm offering this simple phrase/
To kids from one to ninety-nine/
Although it's been said many times, many ways/
Vote Tory this time.

---

"Winter Wonderland"
Sponsorship bling, are you listening
In the game, blame is blistering
A beautiful sight,
We're happy tonight,
Voting in our winter underwear.
Jack's away, is he in third
Steve to stay with a new word
He sings his theft song
As we go along,
Voting in our winter underwear.
In the buses Liberals see a big wall
Then pretend that it was Dave Dingwall
He'll say: Are you worried?
We'll say: No man,
Then you can have a job
When were all done.
Later on, we'll conspire
As we dream by the fire
To face unafraid
The plans that we've made,
Voting in our winter underwear
When it snows, ain't it thrilling
Though your ass gets a chilling
We'll frolic and pay, for the Liberal way,
Voting in our winter underwear.

---

Paul Saw Stephen Kissing.....
Paul saw Stephen kissing Jack and Gilles,
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
He never thought he'd see,
Stevie cuddling the NDP,
But that's the Christmas spirit here,
Same-sex partners now are three.
Then Paul saw Stephen try to fake a smile,
Underneath that scowl he usually wears.
Oh what a laugh we could have had,
If this wasn't all so sad,
Having an election at Christmas time!

---

Deck the Halls
Deck the bus with posters of Paulie
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
'Tis the season to be jolly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Don we now our same-sex apparel
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
Time to put Harper over a barrel
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

---

The Most Wonderful Season
It's the most wonderful time to campaign.//
With canvassers calling/
And everyone bawling.
"Hey, vote for me,"/
It's the most wonderful time to campaign.
There'll be fundraisers for Stevie,/
coffee klatches for Jackie and/
knocks on your door/
There'll be scaremongering stories and/
tales of the glories of elections/
long, long ago.
It's the most wonderful time to campaign./
There'll be much to-ing and fro-ing/
And blood will boiling
When politicians are near/
It's the most wonderful time to campaign.

---

The Red-Nosed Finance Minister
Goodale the good news reindeer
Had a very tiny hope
And if you saw his update
You would even say no go ...

Bas's Bad Idea

Either Scarborough-Rouge River Liberal candidate Bas Balkissoon's campaign is in trouble or the Ward 41 city councillor is following some very bad political advice.

Since the Nov. 24 by-election candidate is a shoo-in for the Grits, it must be the latter.

Stung by criticism he received for joining with his city hall colleagues and voting for a secret 12.25 per cent raise for councillors last week, the famously prickly Balkissoon released an email Progressive Conservative Leader John Tory sent him last August urging him to run for the Tories. (Spelling and grammar have not been corrected.)

“Hi Bas. I gather you may be away but just in case I wanted to drop you a note to tell you how enthusiasstic I would be about discussing your possible candidacy for our party in the alvin curling seat just vacated. I have always been impressed by your strong commitment to accountability in government and some of the great leadership you have shown in that area,” thumbed Tory on his BlackBerry.

Balkissoon, who was hardly the first civic politician courted by different parties, defended his unusual breach of political etiquette.

"As a matter of integrity, I wouldn't have released this e-mail," Balkissoon said in a press release.

"But I felt I was left with no option, considering the tactics that Mr. Tory's party has decided to use,” he continued.

Tory, for his part, shrugged off Balkissoon’s lack of discretion.

“It was a very brief courtship,” the PC Leader joked.

Neo-con game

Former Progressive Conservative premier Mike Harris, who seems to be moving more and more to the right the further and further away he gets from power, will be the guest speaker at a much-anticipated book launch on Nov. 24.

Rescuing Canada's Right by Canadian Taxpayers Federation Ontario director Tasha Kheiriddin and Laval law student and neo-conservative gadfly Adam Daifallah, is billed as a prescription for what ails the country's conservatives.

Kheiriddin and Daifallah are so confident in their cure that they have placed themselves prominently on the front cover of the book.

Boasting a forward by talented syndicated columnist Mark Steyn, the most delightfully acerbic neo-con alive, the new tome says Canadian right-wingers need to look south to the U.S. and emulate the conservative movement there.

Given that President George W. Bush has done more to undermine neo-conservatism than The New York Times, The New Republic and Al Franken combined by racking up record budget deficits, deceiving the public into an unpopular war in Iraq, and his response to natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina, the movement may be falling out of fashion stateside.

Still, it will be interesting to see what Harris has to say at the Albany Club next week.

Hizzoner?

There is a fledgling campaign at Queen's Park to draft Liberal MPP Brad Duguid to run for mayor of Toronto in next year's civic election.

The rookie Scarborough Centre MPP is the subject of much speculation that he might be the "right wing's" opponent for Mayor David Miller.

As a former city councillor, Duguid knows his way around City Hall and can claim reasonably good name recognition in Toronto's east end.

Sources tell the Political Notebook that some of former Progressive Conservative premier Mike Harris's "bag men" have already met to muse about raising money to challenge Miller.

Duguid, of course, supported John Tory, now the Ontario PC Leader, for mayor in 2003 and is no fan of Miller.

It's not likely that Tory would return the favour. He is now close to the mayor.

As well, Tory has been less than amused that Duguid has been trotted out as an attack dog against him and the PC party.

No laughing matter

The Star's Richard Brennan had a nasty surprise when he arrived in China this week to cover Premier Dalton McGuinty's tour of the People's Republic.

Some prankster had cancelled all of Brennan's hotel rooms in Beijing, Hong Kong, Shanghai and other centres.

When the hard-nosed reporter, who is known as "The Badger" for his tenacious newsgathering, went to check in at his first hotel, he thought a mistake had been made.

Hotel staff assured him someone had called from Canada to cancel his reservation.

Thanks to McGuinty aide John Zerucelli, who is doing advance work on the trip, Brennan was able to secure his room and then gleaned that the trickster had pulled the same stunt by calling every hotel on McGuinty's itinerary.

Contacted by BlackBerry, Brennan said he has already instructed officials at Queen's Park to check Legislative Assembly phone logs to see if the nasty joke came from the Pink Palace.

"I can guarantee is somebody is going to pay," says The Badger.

Bet on it!

Now That's Independence

When she missed her connecting flight from Winnipeg on Thursday night, Manitoba MP Bev Desjarlais (Churchill) -- newly independent since losing the NDP nomination in her riding -- had two choices about how to get home to Thompson: wait until Friday morning for another flight, which may or may not have taken off or hop on a nine-hour overnight bus.

Her choice: the bus. It left Winnipeg's bus terminal at 10 pm, and didn't arrive in Thompson until 7 am.

“I wanted to make sure I got back home,” she said. “It sounds really awful, doesn’t it, but I sleep like a baby on the bus. And I like making sure I get home for the weekend.”

The Thin Line

When the reporter asking Transport Minister Jean Lapierre questions on Thursday afternoon turned out to be former Deputy Prime Minister turned Sun Media Columnist Sheila Copps, Lapierre stopped in his tracks.

We wonder why? Does he not consider Copps to be a serious journalist?

“I never considered myself a real journalist you know,” said Lapierre, who was a commentator on Quebec radio for years. “The way she acts and she talks I don’t think she has the objectivity and the neutrality that you all have.”

Then, Lapierre issued a tid-bit of advice for the budding columnist: “You know for the 12 years I was a (commentator) for those 12 years I never thought that I belonged to the profession and I never asked a question in any press conference or anything like that and I would never have dared to do that because I never thought I was a journalist."

More on the Tories...

What a difference a poll can make:

A new Ipsos-Reid poll, conducted in the immediate aftermath of the Gomery report's release this week, shows the Liberals with 31 per cent support, Conservatives with 30 per cent.

So, there's the bravado... While announcing a plan to tighten up ethics in government this morning, Tory Leader Stephen Harper used the phrase "when I become prime minister" a dozen times. Harper's new confidence apparently is based on the thumping the Liberals are taking over the Gomery report and  the  new poll.

And then the not-so-bravado.... Comments like this, overheard among some unnamed Tories over the past 24 hours: "What? On a week that Liberals were awash in talk of kickbacks, abuse and corruption .... and we're still one per cent BEHIND them?