No use crying over spilt milk, but it was egg on face time

Conservative Leader Stephen Harper has spent much of the election campaign reminding voters he is “an average Canadian,” who understands “middle-class” concerns.

But in Vancouver on Friday, acerbic CKNW Radio talk show host Peter Warren ambushed Harper and stumped on a pretty pedestrian matter.

“If you are then the self-admitted average Canadian what's the price of a dozen eggs and what's the price of a litre of milk?” asked Warren.

“Well, it's been a while since I bought them myself. My wife does the shopping,” the Tory Leader replied.

Harper then guessed that both cost “about three buck” each.

“A litre of milk at Safeway today, $1.79, twelve eggs $2.52. Within the ballpark,” said a triumphal Warren.

Of course, Harper lives at Stornaway and has a private chef -- both of which are taxpayer-funded perquisites and neither of which he mentioned on the radio.

Behold the power of satire....

Funny man Rick Mercer - he of This Hour has 22 Minutes and The Mercer Report fame - has decided to take on a Conservative blogger who earlier this week started an online petition lampooning top Liberal aide Scott Reid's infamous "beer and popcorn" gaffe.

That petition, at www.kidsnotbeer.com, has found 3,452 adherents (and counting). Meanwhile, Mercer's rival petition www.beernotkids.com is hot on the trail, with 3,384 signatures (and counting). Under the heading: Children are the Future but Beer is Now, Mercer is striking back at the "anti-beer, pro-child agenda". Tongue planted firmly in cheek, the Newfoundland-born comedian says that while Reid is "an enemy of all that is holy," a larger issue is at play.

"In the stampede to condemn Scott and his comments about child care policy I have noticed a very real and very ugly sentiment sneaking into the national discourse. I am talking of course, about an anti-beer agenda."

He goes on to point out that an "anti-beer special interest group" is leading the charge against the Reid slip-up. And that "I for one am not prepared to let the Kids Not Beer people win this one."

“I know they have a healthy had start but I know that beer drinkers are out there and if I can get to them before 6:00 or 7:00 in the evening they can be organized. Together we can stand up and say “My Canada includes having a few pops.” Please sign my BEER NOT KIDS petition located at www.Beernotkids.com.”

In encouraging his readers to vote early and vote often, Mercer said that "children may be our greatest resource, but beer is our greatest beverage" and that without sufficient libations, there would be fewer children in the first place. It will come as a surprise to no one that Mercer - who rallied thousands to his online call to officially change former Canadian Alliance leader Stockwell Day's name to Doris in 2000 - has managed to sign up 3,384 people (and counting). You can find Mercer's blog at: www.rickmercer.com. And the good-humoured Tory blogger's site is at angrygwn.mu.nu. He points out that you know you've made it when Rick Mercer satirizes you.......

Wonder how Jan. 23 is going to go?

The Star's political notebook is pleased to take readers on a time-travelling adventure   into the future....  or at least the future as the Conservatives see it. This email was sent out this afternoon (and distributed to reporters through the Liberals), showing how things went during tonight's televised debates.

PROVISIONAL TALKING POINTS - French debate, December 15, 2005

*IMPORTANT- These are provisional talking points for use by candidates after the debate, based on the course we expect the debate to take. Final updated talking points will be issued very soon after the debate.

Gilles Duceppe attacked Canada. Jack Layton attacked Paul Martin, and Paul Martin attacked Stephen Harper. Stephen Harper was the only leader who tackled the issues that matter to everyday Canadians.

Paul Martin was solely focused on the past and fictitious bogeyman and straw men, while Stephen Harper was firmly focused on real issues that matter to real people: cutting the GST, cracking down on crime, and cleaning up government.

Paul Martin sounded like a professor, trying to ramble on about economic statistics, while Stephen Harper showed he understands that families are working longer, paying more in taxes and finding it harder to save money.

Between a wealthy establishment elitist and a trendy downtown socialist, Stephen Harper demonstrated that he is the best voice for everyday middle class Canadians.

Atlas please

NDP Leader Jack Layton told a Regina audience Tuesday night about his work at the first ministers’ meeting on aboriginal issues that was held in “Kenora.”

Not even close. Last month’s high profile meeting was actually held four provinces west - in Kelowna, British Columbia.

Show stealer

NDP Leader Jack Layton found himself upstaged by a Saskatchewan icon during a Regina campaign stop Tuesday.

Actress Shirley Douglas got a hero’s welcome when she joined Layton at a rally at a strip mall on a cold, snowy Prairie night.

Douglas is revered in Saskatchewan for not just her on-stage performances but her pedigree - her father was Tommy Douglas, a former premier of the province who is regarded as the father of Canada’s public health system.

The crowd of NDP supporters hollered and applauded when the elegant actress stepped up to the podium.

“Welcome home!" bellowed one NDP supporter.

She rewarded their praise with a barn-burner speech that warned that Canada’s public health care system hinges on the choices voters make in this election.

“This is one of the most important elections for many, many, many years,” she said.

“This is the election that is going to help decide what happens to the Canadian health system,” she said to hoots and applause.

“We don’t have a lot of time left. The privatization that is happening across the country is galloping. If we don’t stop it, it will be gone,” she said.

The daughter of Canada's first socialist premier recalled the early move to create public healthcare in the late 1940s.

“I was born in 1934,” she said. That prompted a young boy in crowd to shout “what.”

“That makes me 72 and you can’t even count that high,” she replied to the young lad as the crowd erupted in laughter.

She praised Layton as a great leader and urged voters to cast their votes for the NDP.

“Jack is a man of compassion, of great heart and great vision. I know about living with someone like that. That man has to be given all our support and all our help,” Douglas said.

The warm endorsement was a welcome change for the NDP leader who’s been stung by seeing would-be ally CAW president Buzz Hargrove flock to the side of Prime Minister Paul Martin.

After the speeches had ended, Douglas was swarmed on the podium by NDP candidates and supporters alike, all hoping to get a word, a hand-shake and even a picture with the actress.

Playing their songs

Thanks to an inspired idea by CBC Radio's new afternoon show, Freestyle, The Star's political notebook is delighted to share with readers the life "theme songs" of party leaders in this election. According to the website -- www.thisdayinmusic.com -- the "theme song of your life" is the tune that was number one on the charts the day of your 18th birthday. And so, as leaders prepare to head into debates tomorrow, perhaps a little theme-music accompaniment? Check out the titles -- somehow they seem about right, don't they?

---

Prime Minister Paul Martin turned 18 on Aug. 28, 1956

 

U.S. top song: Don't Be Cruel, Elvis Presley

UK: Whatever Will Be by Doris Day

---

Conservative leader Stephen Harper turned 18 on April 30, 1977

 

U.S.  top song: Southern Nights by Glen Campbell

UK: Knowing Me, Knowing You, by ABBA.

---

NDP leader Jack Layton turned 18 on July 18, 1968

U.S. top song: Grazing In The Grass - Hugh Masekela

UK: Baby Come Back by The Equals

 

 

With friends like these...

Scott Reid's "beer and peanuts" remark was bound to bounce around the blog-o-sphere and predictably, it's got the angry folks all riled up on any  number of websites. But the funniest stuff is coming from Reid's own seatmate on the Liberal campaign plane, speechwriter and occasional newspaper columnist Scott Feschuk.
Here's a little taste of Feschuk's faint praise for a wounded colleague:

"I want to thank the many loyal blog readers who have sent in witty and/or hostile remarks in relation to the unfortunate "beer and popcorn" commentary by my good friend Scott Reid, who is sitting next to me on the plane at this moment and who just now made me write the whole "good friend" part - which, between you and me, is completely bogus in the sense that now he is a total social leper and I have every intention of cutting the poor bugger loose. (To gauge from my inbox, public opinion is currently evenly divided on Scott's comment, with half of people describing him as an "idiot" and the other half defiantly insisting he is a "complete idiot".)
Scott's comments are actually not being treated as a joke around here. Far from it. The PM was mighty cheesed about the remarks and told Scott so. Quite possibly more than once. Also, kinda loudly. Scott, meanwhile, is all sheepish today - which is a new thing for him. Here's an exclusive quote from Scott Reid exclusively acquired by me just this very minute on the tarmac of the Winnipeg airport: "I put the jack in jackass." Maybe I'm a softie, but I for one don't believe that's true. I think we all know that, yesterday at least, he put the ass in jackass."

Citytv Everywhere

Irascible reporter Adam Vaughan, Citytv’s “political specialist," was dogging Conservative Leader Stephen Harper Tuesday in Trenton at an announcement on $5.3 billion in new defence spending over five years.
“You still haven’t come to Toronto to deal with the issue of kids getting shot in the city. Why the defence announcement and nothing for those families…?” asked Vaughan, who prides himself on getting under politician’s skin.
“I’m not sure why, Adam, why whatever I announce you always want to be at a different announcement,” said Harper to laughter from reporters.
The Tory leader went on to remind reporters in a more serious tone that he was in Toronto last summer to talk about the crime problem with victims, police and community activists.
After the news conference, a Harper aide rushed over to Vaughan to say his pithy reply was “nothing personal” and that the Tories love Citytv.
The thick-skinned broadcaster, who has been attacked by everyone from former mayor Mel Lastman to his colleagues in the city hall press gallery, didn’t mind a bit.
As a peace offering, Harper may even appear on Vaughan’s CP24 talk show. (For the record, aides say he is likely too busy for editorial board meetings at newspapers like the Toronto Star.)

“Thank you very much, ladies and germs. I'm here through Sunday, try the veal.”

Okay, so he's not exactly Don Rickles, but Conservative Leader Stephan Harper is learning to riff off of his audience.
Monday evening in Peterborough, Harper was delivering his standard stump speech spiel against the Senate being used as a patronage dump.
“There goes my job,” Tory Senator Marjory LeBreton, who was at the back of the hall, said with a wink to a Star reporter as she applauded her leader.
Spotting the senator in the crowd of 250 -- but obviously not overhearing her because only his piercing blue eyes are bionic -- Harper didn't miss a beat.
“I've said that so many times I've even got some senators clapping,” he quipped.

Musical interlude...

I’m dreaming of a right Parliament
Back in the days of old T-Rex
Where there was no gun ban
never mind daycare
And long before there was same sex
I’m dreaming of a right Parliament
With every backlash I foment
May your days be merry and white
And may all your Parliaments be right
I’m dreaming of a right Parliament
With every backlash I foment
May your days be merry and white
And may all your Parliaments be right