Busman's holiday

How did Paul Martin end up giving a university lecture while on vacation?

Travelling through Turkey a week or so ago, Martin walked into a hotel lobby and was immediately recognized by the bell captain as the former prime minister of Canada. It turns out the bell captain was also head of the political science students' union at the University of the Aegean.

And so, the bell captain prevailed on Martin to come and speak to his class. And Martin obliged. At 9 a.m. sharp the next day, Martin was standing before a group of students, talking about Canada and its place in the world.

They tried to warn us....

Last night in an Ottawa bar known as the Martini Ranch, all eyes suddenly turned to the door when an impressive -- some might say scary -- array of men in suits and security personnel flooded over to the bar. In the midst of this crowd was General Rick Hillier, Canada's chief of defence staff, accompanied by a U.S. military colleague.

Are you thinking what we're thinking? That's right.....

Soldiers.

With guns.

In our bars.

We're not making this up.

All's well that ends well...

William Stairs has had as many ups and downs as his namesake this week. It was all down earlier in the week when he was abruptly fired as Stephen Harper's communications director. But it's all upward now, as Justice Minister Vic Toews announced that Stairs would be his new chief of staff.

As one person commented on hearing the Toews' announcement: "William's perfectly qualified for justice. After all, he developed some expertise in capital punishment this week."

Bye Bye Badger

Premier Dalton McGuinty wasn’t exactly fighting back tears on Wednesday when he learned that a long-time thorn in his side, Star reporter Rick “Badger” Brennan, was leaving Queen’s Park for greener pastures.

Well, maybe tears of joy. McGuinty flashed a grin worthy of a Crest WhiteStrips ad when informed before a media scrum that Brennan was departing the Park after almost 16 years of badgering premiers of all three political stripes.

“You’re leaving!” he beamed to the veteran scribe.

Later, during the scrum, Brennan asked one of his trademark pointed questions about the government’s strategy on averting a strike by Canadian Union of Public Employees members.

“You’ve got to be up to something here, you’re picking a fight with somebody, obviously you’re trying to do something, what is it?” the reporter thundered.

McGuinty didn’t miss a beat.

“I’m going to miss you,” the premier cracked to howls of laughter in a scrum broadcast live on radio and television. “I really am.”

Brennan’s new post at the Star is expected to be announced next week.

Lynn Who?

All the attention on a threatened provincewide strike by Sid Ryan of the Canadian Union of Public Employees over a municipal pensions bill is diverting interest from another of the union's pet peeves with the Ontario government.

Along with nurses and other unions, CUPE has launched an advertising campaign against another bill to create regional health authorities, officially known as local health integration networks.

Known as LHINs -- pronounced Lynns -- the authorities are intended to allow more regional control of health care now run from Queen's Park. But the unions contend the networks are a vehicle to allow contracting out of services to the lowest bidder, with potentially disastrous results for patient care and health-care workers alike.

Both pensions bill and the health networks bill have been around for months, but it was only when Ryan threatened to take 100,000 of his members out on wildcat walkout that the pension bill caught on as a story.

As for the union campaign against health networks, there are ads on TV, radio and in bus shelters. But no threat of a strike.

Mike Who?

Mike Harris was nowhere to be seen or heard at the weekend policy conference of the provincial Progressive Conservatives in Niagara Falls, nor was his name cited in speeches and presentations beyond a brief reference by the new leader, John Tory. In a list of the merits of past Conservative leaders, Tory cited Harris’ "consistency" and said: "(He) did what he said he would do."

But many members of the old Harris team were in attendance at the conference, including former cabinet ministers Jim Flaherty, John Baird, Tony Clement, John Snobelen, Chris Stockwell and Steve Gilchrist; former backbenchers Bob Wood, Bart Maves and John Hastings; former aides Guy Giorno, Deb Hutton and Dee Dee Heywood; and former campaigners Alister Campbell and Glen Wright.

Conspicuous by their absence, however, were Tom Long and Leslie Noble, respectively the chair and manager of Harris’ 1995 and 1999 election campaigns.

 

A tale of two parties

What a difference a weekend and a political party can make.

This weekend, Premier Dalton McGuinty and his Liberals are holding a conference at a Mississauga hotel to help develop policy for the 2007 provincial election.

But it appears their work is top-secret because none of the sessions are open to reporters, who would love to get an idea what’s going on in the minds of Liberal policy wonks.

Contrast that to last weekend’s Progressive Conservative policy conference in Niagara Falls where leader John Tory lived up to his promise to have all sessions open to the media.

The danger in that, of course, is that radical ideas might bubble up from party members and steal the show from Tory and give reporters a sensational story.

But that didn’t happen. Unfortunately.

 

They don’t call him Pinball for nothing

A week after he signed on to Premier Dalton McGuinty’s latest program to eradicate youth violence, Argonauts coach Mike "Pinball" Clemons was helping the man who wants McGuinty’s job.

Pinball made an appearance in a video introducing Progressive Conservative Leader John Tory at a weekend policy convention in Niagara Falls.

"John Tory, he’s the story," beamed Clemons, whose remarks were obviously filmed months ago when golf shirts were suitable outdoor attire.

Tory quickly took the stage as AC/DC’s tune "Are You Ready" blasted through the hall where more than 1,000 party faithful — including several families who brought their children — gathered for a steak dinner at a hotel overlooking the American falls.

But it was all too much for some of the tots — one was seen in the hallway crying on his mother’s shoulder after the speech in which Tory blasted McGuinty as a promise-breaker whose higher taxes and refusal to fire a cabinet minister who violated an ethics law diminish all politicians.

Obviously, too upsetting for young ears.

News junkies shut out

It’s the party of free enterprise but, sadly, no one thought to open a newspaper stand.

Ontario’s Progressive Conservatives held a weekend policy convention at a hotel in Niagara Falls and — despite a lobby containing two gift shops, a Starbucks and a jewelry store — there was nowhere to buy a newspaper.

With more than 1,000 politically active Tories and a media entourage, newspapers would have sold briskly.

The best advice from the hotel concierge was "go across the street and there’s a row of newspaper boxes in front of the duty free shop if you have exact change."

Now that’s hospitality!

At least the view was good. The hotel overlooked the American falls, including floor-to-ceiling views from the press room windows, a rare treat for media hacks used to being stuck in the basement at such conventions.

And if you think Toronto prices are bad, get a load of this: Starbucks in the hotel lobby was charging $3.39 for a muffin.

 

Take my wife, please!

Former Progressive Jim Flaherty abandoned his provincial Whitby-Ajax riding to run for the Conservatives in the Jan. 23 federal election.

Flaherty won and Prime Minister Stephen Harper made him Finance Minister.

Now his wife, Christine Elliott, a prominent Whitby lawyer, wants to succeed him as MPP.

She is seeking the PC nomination for a by-election expected within the next few months.

“I was raised in Whitby, and it’s been a privilege to practise law and to serve this community in many capacities as a volunteer. It would be a great honour to bring my passion for this community to Queen’s Park,” Elliott said in a statement.

Before anyone makes Bill and Hillary comparisons, Tory insiders claim Elliott is an even better politician than her husband, who is no slouch at campaigning, speechifying or debating.

Progressive Conservative Leader John Tory is said to be delighted at the prospect of such a high-profile candidate.

“Remember,” said one PC source, “we have to be selecting candidates who can be seen as future cabinet ministers.”

The nomination meeting is scheduled for March 27, unless of course the by-election is called before then.