Stumbling towards bilingual

"Mom, mom," Cameron called up the stairs. "I know how to say Happy New Year in French!"

"Awesome, Honey," I said, probably gathering up laundry or trying to find my shoes or something upstairs. "What is it?"

"GUNG HEY FAT CHOY!"

Now, he is in French Immersion - senior kindergarten - so obviously he's just a beginner. And it was January around Chinese New Year and obviously they were working on a Chinese New Year unit at school. So it's understandable that he would muddle the two new languages.

But something about the earnestness and his usual, inadvertently perfect comedic timing, made me laugh out loud. He was terribly offended.

"OOOHHHHHh! I should KNOW how to say it in French!" he wailed.

A few weeks later we were hitching a ride in a friend's van when the conversation in the back went to French words. His almost-four-year-old friend was informing him of some pretty basic stuff: bonjour, oui, non, merci, etc.

"I know, I know!" said Cameron.

"I've been in French aversion for a really long time now."

Octomom outrage

It's been interesting to observe the backlash against octuplets mom Nadya Suleman. While the story is quietening down, we have a piece on the website today that puts the octomom outrage into a bit of context.

It makes the point that the vicious tenor of the reaction to Suleman is linked to the tough economic times and, in particular, her cavalier use of medical resources and seeming lack of plan for providing for the children. It also says that her emulation of celeb Angelina Jolie - and perhaps orchestrated publicity grab related to Brangelina - really rubbed people the wrong way.

But I'd like to throw one other thought into the mix, before I leave this subject behind for a while.

No matter what we think of the octomom's choice to implant all those embryos, and the intention with which she embarked on having more mouths than she could possibly feed, I think we also need to ask ourselves this:

How many dads out there have fathered 14 children?

Lots.

And few among these would be the rare dads who live in single-family dwellings of their own with the mother of all these children and pay for the roof over all of their little heads. No, these are the guys who have fathered many children with several different women and may not even have a good handle on how many children could (technically) call them "Dad."

Whether it's in birth control-challenged developing nation, or cities and town like our own, I don't think these dads - deadbeat or otherwise - are getting called out the way the octomom is for their choice to spawn so many children.

Yes, Nadya Suleman went with intention to a fertility clinic and had six embryos (two of which later split) implanted when she already had six kids at home. But I'd hazard a guess that the dads who've fathered a dozen or so kids were pretty much aware that the transactions they completed could result in kids, too. What do you think?

Read more about the octuplets case on our babies page.

Art attack

Dear first-born child,

As much as it pains me to recycle any of your works of art, I'm afraid that we're going to have to sort something out.

It's time you were let in on the little secret that Blue Box and I have been keeping for a while now. Occasionally, when I'm trying to clean up the kitchen, or when I'm in one of my periods of Real Simple magazine-inspired organizational zeal, I force myself to part with some of your earlier works.

First, I pause for a moment over the brown construction-paper crown you made at school on Groundhog Day, or that tin-foil and feather-covered dreamcatcher thingy you made in preschool. I shed a few tears for more innocent times, as I reflect on your depictions of knights, castles, dragons and no-smoking signs.

Then I stuff them in the recycling bin under the kitchen and steal them away to the garage after you're in bed.

Of course I set aside your hand-made book, "The Questing Beast," that we made together when you were four, along with all drafts of my mother's day cards. And your recent depictions of the solar system have been lovingly added to the art wall.

And while I agree with you that "they're pretty much all keepers," I'm afraid that with the price of real estate in Toronto, the craft drawer alone is going to cost me about $100,000 with interest, amortized over the 25 (or 30) years it takes to pay off this place.

Meanwhile, I've done a really great job of sorting all of your markers, crayons, gluesticks, pipe cleaners - even those dreaded novelty scissors that bark like a dog with each snip - into neat little baskets. If you could stick with the system - and keep an eye on your brother with the playdough - that would be really great.

Love,

Mom

P.S. Looking for something arty to do with the kids? Try these spring-inspired crafts.

A March break camp your teenager might actually attend

Something just came into my email in-box that might be of interest to parents of kids at that difficult age when they're too cool for camp but not necessarily trustworthy enough to leave at home unsupervised for a week. Who knows what kind of shenanigans they might be getting up to, right?

Well, here's a March break camp that teaches kids how to do old-school vinyl DJing and try digital production gear, too. Called WestsideWax, this school is right on the subway and promises a cool, positive, engaging environment - and organic lunch, too. Here's what the press release says.

We're very pleased to be offering our Full-Day DJ Sessions for kids and teens ages 12-18, during this year's March Break (March 16-20). Normally, we only book in one or two-hour slots, but these holidays if you're out of school and feeling the need for something different, there's no better way to beat winter boredom than by spending a day, or even a week, behind the decks at WestsideWax!

These four-hour crash courses are designed to help young adults get familiar with a typical vinyl-based DJ setup - a great start point from which to begin learning how to play and one that is easily adapted to today's digital setups. At WestsideWax, the emphasis is on "hands-on" - expect to be spinning records within an hour of entering the studio, learning the various tricks and techniques that make DJing both fun and challenging. We provide all equipment, including records, so the only thing you need to bring is your enthusiasm!

On top of learning how to DJ, there will be discussions on the history of Electronic and Dance Music with cool videos to accompany the talks, as well as a chance to try out some of today's digital production gear. Students who sign up for 3 or more sessions will also have opportunity to record their mixes, to take home and share with friends!

Costs for the Full-Day Sessions, which run from 10 a.m. until 3 p.m. and include a healthy organic vegetarian lunch, are $90/per day. Sign up for the full week to receive a special discounted rate of $380, for a savings of $70! Of course we also offer our usual subsidised rates for students with special financial considerations - please contact us for more details.

Bookings will fill up fast, and we only take a maximum of four students per session - enroll early so you don't miss out!

Get more March Break ideas on our special March Break Guide.

Spring is here! Well, no, actually. But it will come. Eventually.

The moderate-ish weather we had in Toronto this past week (that which is disappearing with today's mix of snow and rain - will we need the army? Hopefully not this time), gave me an inkling that this wretched winter will eventually end.

And that I need a plan for March break. And so do you.

So, we've launched a guide to March break here on parentcentral.ca. Sure there are tips about getting a great travel deal, but this year it's also about having a low-stress, budget-friendly March break if a trip to Club Med is not in the cards. Why not make this holiday the one when you finally take the kids up the CN tower or to one of these other nine Toronto tourist destinations? Or get off the tourist-beaten path and explore Toronto neighbourhoods you've always been curious about. There are lists of sites to see in eight different Toronto communities, including Trinity Bellwoods and Riverdale.

For those days you're stuck inside, check out these wacky indoor games to entertain your kids, or try these wicked spring-theme crafts you can make with stuff even us not-so-crafty peeps have around the house.

And check back often because we'll be adding more as we approach the start of the break, March 16th.

Octuplet babies and other curiosities

If you've been following the news at all, you've probably heard a little bit about the California mom with new octuplet babies and six other kids at home. It's been interesting to read people's reactions to this family. The story we have today contrasts this case to other families with higher-order multiples, calling it a PR calamity. Our weekend feature probed the ethical quandaries that surround this sort of mega-high-risk pregnancy.

It seems that while most users who comment on this story find it an odd choice to have eight babies at once when you already have six children at home, there is a furious debate going on among commenters. Many are concerned with the high cost of bearing and delivering the children. Others wonder what fertility specialist implanted that many embryos, if that was in fact the case, or gave her such a high dose of follicle-stimulating drugs, if that was the approach taken.

Naturally, whether or not the woman should have opted to reduce the number of embryos is a hot-button ethical issue. The woman's religion could have made that out of the question for her.

Many others are wondering who is going to foot the bill for raising the children. And one thing is for certain, the public just has not received this California mom with the warm-heartedness usually afforded this sort of brood. Because of that, there just hasn't - apparently - been the windfall of mini-vans, diapers, cribs, formula and other baby supplies.

I'd like to throw it out there that while we may question her sanity - especially those of us getting our butts kicked by having just one or two children, myself included - we can't really know her circumstances or her motivations. At least not until she does a tell-all interview with People magazine or the like.

What do you think?

OTHER MATTERS...

At the risk of making any kind of crass comparison to these eight babies and other parts of the animal world, I wanted to point out a couple of great things on our sites to share with your kids. I am working from home today because one of my children has croup (this oddly Victorian virus - with its conjured notions of mustard plasters and blood-letting - has visited our house twice in two months) and I'm planning to show Cameron this star.com story on a prehistoric snake the size of a T-rex. For the fan of all things outer space, there's also this amazing story about Humber students communicating with the International Space Station. And finally, Google Earth has expanded tremendously, allowing users to dive under the ocean and much, much more. Enjoy!

Is your pantry ready for lice?

A good friend of mine wrote to me this morning in some horror that her daughter has contracted a bit of a case of head lice. (I guess, really, there is no "bit of a case of lice." That would be like being a little bit pregnant. If your kid has them you have to go through the whole comb-out hassle whether you've spotted one of the unholy little organisms or dozens and dozens of their wretched nits.)

My friend is actually not that squeamish about de-lousing, but she is surprised her daughter contracted lice given that their fairly cautious approach to coat-room hat swaps and the like.

The real tragedy here is that in order to do the comb-out, my foodie friend had to do use the fancy, kibbutz-grown and pressed olive oil that she carted - at some expense to her carry-on capacity and spine - back from a recent trip to Israel. Just think of the salads that will go undressed because of this unfortunate lack of planning.

The moral of this story is not to fret too much about toques and scarves. There's virtually no hope of preventing your child from getting lice when they're hunched over the sand table in February. Just be prepared and have some really, really unvirginal olive oil - the kind pressed in Haliburton instead of Haifa, for instance -  on hand to deal when it's your turn.