Embarrassing ourselves for the babies

This morning three of us from The Star participated in Media Rock Band, the kick-off to a great new family festival in Toronto called Funday Sunday on November 29, 2010.

The event supports causes dear to my heart: Sunnybrook Hospital's Women & Babies program, which specializes in providing care to women experiencing high-risk pregnancies and their babies, some of them premature, and Canadian Hadassah-WIZO, an agency that protects at-risk youth and women in Israel.

The highlight of Funday Sunday will be Toronto's Top Rock Stars, a Canadian Idol-style competition where teams of gaming experts and would-be musicians compete playing XBOX Rock Band. Bands will register in three categories:

• Under 12

• Over 13

• Family

They'll have the summer to practise and to raise funds for Sunnybrook and Hadassah.

This morning's event for a kick off to raise awareness about Funday Sunday.

Yourhome.ca editor Jennifer Wilson-Speedy, rocker Brett Lodge from our graphics department and I formed a team - with one ringer supplied by the organizers (thank you, Phil!), and performed the Blondie hit One Way or Another. Jen is a Rock Star ace but Brett and I were playing the game for our first and second times, respectively. We didn't come ANYWHERE near winning, but it wasn't completely humiliating and we had fun!

Here you can see Jennifer above on guitar and just barely make me out with the microphone.

   

Here's our group shot, left to right, Jennifer, Brett, me and Phil.

And here we are with the rest of the participants, including teams from Today's Parent, CTV, Flow and Sunnybrook. All teams were judged by a panel of celebrities including Erica Ehm of the Yummy Mummy Club. Congratulations to the winners from Flow!

Participating in Toronto's Top Rock Star is not the only way to enjoy Funday Sunday and support these charities. You can also buy tickets to the day-long event, which includes games and activities for kids, a marketplace and an area offering information and tips about family health. Or you can sponsor a team here.

In defence of sex ed

All kinds of people are freaking out about the proposed changes to sex education in Ontario.

While I don't yet have the kind of detail on the curriculum that I'd like, I do want to point out where I think some individuals and organization are making inflammatory and incorrect assumptions about the spirit, tone and intention of this sort of education.

We've learned that kids will be discussing homosexuality in Grade 3.

It's 2010. Don't a lot of our kids already have someone in their class who has two moms or two dads? That certainly applies for my son, Cameron. He's in Grade 1. He's known a lovely two-mom family since he was in daycare, and happily accepted an explanation that some people pick as their special person a member of the opposite sex and some people pick someone of their own gender.

For the sake not just of combating homophobia but of normalizing the experiences of school children who have same-sex parents, it's very worthwhile to discuss sexual orientation at an early age. Equally important: Getting the message to kids who may already be sensing some sort of "difference" in themselves compared to others, that they are OK no matter who they have a crush on.

What troubles me is the assumption that talking about sexual orientation is tantamount to recruitment to the gay cause. That's just backward.

Certainly one's religious and cultural values give shape to views on this and other aspects of sexual education. Critics say it is up to families to address sexuality with their children in a way that's in line with the their values.

But here's the thing. They don't.

Or if they do, they're not terribly successful at arming kids with the information they need to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Or to delay sexual activities for which that they don't yet have the maturity to cope.

And that brings me to one of the other contentious points in Ontario premier Dalton McGuinty's proposed new sex ed program: discussion of oral sex as early as Grade 7.

There's a reason why oral sex is being called "the new goodnight kiss." Star reporter Trish Crawford explained how normalized it's become in a story called "Oral sex no longer a big deal, teen girls say."

By Grade 9 one third of Canadian teenagers are having oral sex. That's a fact and remains so whether or not we're too squeamish or scandalized to discuss it. If we want kids to delay this activity instead of engage in it, um, willy nilly, maybe we'd be better off explaining that you can get yucky sores in your mouth - and much worse - if you're not taking proper precautions. Or if you're trading sexual favours with schoolmates like they were Pizza Pockets.

It's important to look at the context in which kids will be hearing about oral sex. According to a story we had last night, Grade 7 kids will be learning about "delaying sexual activity, sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy and STI prevention."

Did you see the first thing? "Delaying sexual activity." The intent here is not to provide some sort of instructional how-to for kids who would otherwise know nothing about sex. It's about getting kids who are already engaged in risky behaviour - or will be soon enough - to be smarter about it.

This subject has prompted some discussion around the office. One colleague mentioned that when she was going to school in Nova Scotia, sex ed didn't start until junior high. "Two of my classmates had babies that year."

A little late, maybe?

More on this subject:

Changes to sex-ed curriculum raise ire of family groups

McGuinty wants sex ed to start in Grade 3

Oral sex no longer a big deal

Cute kid quote of the week

 

Cameron, 6, during conversation about the volcanic eruption in Iceland:

"Greenland is icy and Iceland is green. They should switch those."

Signs of spring

If you're lucky enough to be in parts of the country not covered in snow, I hope you've enjoyed one of those incredible, life-affirming spring weeks.

This is the time of year when neighbours come out of their houses and say hello to one another, children reclaim their playgrounds, and parents enjoy nice stroller walks to the coffee shop without the tedium of snow pants and boots.

In celebration of all things spring, thought I'd share a few of my own signs of the season.

My youngest, Alister, two-and-three-quarters, sharing an ice cream with best friend, Kara, 4, at Beresford Park this week. (Photo by Shai Sabuelba.)

Alister at the first of many outdoor birthday parties the summer will hold. (Photo by Shai Sabuelba.)

 
Cameron and Alister on their cousin's trampoline in St. Thomas, Ontario this past weekend. (Photo by Rachel Radauskas.)

Static electricity caused by jumping on said trampoline. (Photo by Derek DeCloet.)

And here are a couple of pics contributed by my friend, Kelly Smyth, a photographer and mom of three always on top of capturing seasonal fun.

Friends Adam and Ella take a walk in Rennie Park.

Lemonade stand salespeople (from left) Nolan, Jake, Ella and Davis.

And last, isn't getting yourself out of winter gear an incredible relief?

Cute kid quote of the week

Cameron, upon hearing me refer to him as six and three-quarters:

"Why didn't you TELL me it was my three-quarters birthday?"

Poor-sport parents? Get a hold of yourselves!

Hockey moms and dads? I've got some bad news. Your kid isn't making it to the NHL.

I know. It's hard. Maybe if you hadn't gotten the mumps in grade 11 you might have made that triple-A team, and who knows where that could have led you. Maybe you could have been the NEXT BIG THING.

But nothing that happens in your child's novice/atom/peewee/bantam/midget game is going to change that.

And whether your daughter is in the starting line or whether your son stays on the pitching mound for the whole ball game? That's also not going to make it any better. And it's going to have ZERO bearing on his or her potential for a professional career.

It's time Canadian parents reexamine their relationship to their children's sporting lives.

What are your expectations and are they realistic?

According to a new Ipos-Reid poll, more than half of Canadians have witnessed abusive behaviour at a children's sporting event. For the purpose of this research, the scope of abusive behaviour at a game was narrowed to physical of verbal abuse of a coach or other sports official. (It didn't even count mouthing off or fighting among other adults on the sidelines!).

This survey of 23,351 adults in 22 countries determined that Canada is the fifth-worst country for hot-headed sports parents. It's embarrassing, but sadly not that surprising.

If you're foaming at the mouth because junior got a penalty, I'm afraid you're overdue for a trip to Mrs. McTherapist. Or maybe you need to download some anger-management sessions and listen to them in the van on the way to the game.

Here's a list of jobs for you as a sports parent:

1) Get your child to the game on time (or find a suitably undrunk alternate for same).

2) Bring or buy snacks.

3) Lace up/tape up gear as needed.

4) Shut the hell up.

Of course that's not quite all. You need to sell wrapping paper or magazine subscriptions or sides of beef or whatever. And you need to toss the ball around with your child or take shots on him in the driveway or participate in whatever other kind of practice is required. You need to coach your child on what it means to be a good sport, and mostly you need to do that by example. How can you expect your kid not to punch another child's lights out when you just lost it on Alpha Dad from the opposing team?

And if you can't manage to behave yourself for the sake of the kids or the other adults, do it for yourself!

You could have a heart attack out there, man.

Cute kid quote of the day

There was a moment this weekend when I realized my work might rub off, even slightly, on my eldest child.

His friend Nolan was over for dinner. Cameron turned to him and said, "Did you know that if you smile a lot, you'll live longer?"

You can read the whole story here on my other website, healthzone.ca.