Really? A ban on balls in the school yard?

Parents are scratching their heads today over the news that one Toronto elementary school has banned balls in the school yard.

Earl Beatty Public School sent a letter home to parents Monday to say that students would no longer be able to kick a soccer ball, toss a football or play any other sort of game that involves a ball.

The letter went on to explain that there have been "serious incidents" during which staff and students were hit. School trustee Sheila Cary-Meagher told the Star that one Earl Beatty parent took a ball to the head and suffered a concussion.

That's unfortunate.

But is an outright ball ban the right approach, especially when we're facing a crisis of inactivity among children? As my colleague Andrea Gordon mentioned in her latest story on children and exercise, childhood obesity has tripled in the last 30 years, and only 7 per cent of kids get the recommended hour of daily exercise.

Sure space is tight in urban school yards like the one at Earl Beatty. I have to be very cafeful to stay out of the line of fire when I pick up my youngest son from his small school yard, so I can appreciate the risk.

But that's the thing about risk. It has to be balanced against reward. And in this case the reward is just the kind of free play and exercise that today's screen-addicted kids need.

What do you think? Are there solutions the administration at Earl Beatty may not have yet explored? Is the answer better supervision in the school yard so there are some grownups to herd the junior kindergarteners out of the way of kids twice their size playing soccer? How about a sign at the yard gate to remind parents to beware of flying objects?

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Getting organized to welcome the school year

In just over a week, another school year will be underway. Will you be greeting it with happiness or dread?

It's hard to see the short summer season come to an end, but a lot of the parents I talk to will be welcoming the return to routine.

For those who work outside of the home, there's an enormous gap between the two months of summer holidays our kids get and the one or two weeks of vacation we have available to take care of them. Stay-at-home parents may feel they're running out of ways to entertain the kids by now, nevermind the budget for all those enriching camps and lessons. And for those in the middle trying to work from home, a dirth of childcare may have left them dreadfully behind on business tasks or burnt out from clocking late hours at the computer after the kids are in bed.

While I'd like a few more idyllic weekend outings with my kids, I have to admit that I'm among those who are looking forward to fall. I hate to say it because I adore summer trips to the beach and picnics and all that stuff. But my life as a parent who works full time isn't set up to allow for as many of these as I'd like. By the time mid-August hits, my career-mom guilt is at an apex.

So I like to focus on the awesome aspects of September, and enjoy preparing for the new school year.

I was inspired by the women I interviewed for today's story on getting organized for a great September transition.

I couldn't fit absolutely all of their great advice in the article so I thought I'd share here a few extra nuggets of wisdom that have really stuck with me.

IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING ORGANIZED SO EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD

The enviably organized Stacy Crew, who quite literally wrote the book on being an Organized Mom, made this very good point.

"Getting organized is about so much more than having a house that looks like it belongs in a Pottery Barn catalogue. It’s about creating a lifestyle that allows your family to enjoy time together. If I’m sitting there trying to connect with my kids but I realize that I’ve got four loads of laundry to fold and dishes in the sink and blog entries to write, I’m really not going to be in the moment."

And this one:

"It's about simplifying and looking at the big picture. What life do I want for my family? What goals do we have as a unit? If it's to be doing every sporting activity out there, so be it, but a lot of families don't know why they're doing what they're doing."

YOUR KIDS CAN DO MORE

Family life coach Laurel Crossley, otherwise known as OptiMom, is a big proponent of not doing everything for our kids, but instead, empowering them to do things for themselves:

"Kids would like to be part of the process and most of us do everything for them except for maybe asking, 'What colour would you like?' My kids are extremely independent. I did that knowing they are going to have to go out in this world and do things on their own. They need to know how to do laundry, wash floors and get themselves a snack."

Your kids might not be ready to mop the floors just yet, but perhaps they could get their shoes on without your help. Bonus: It'll save your back.

YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S FOR DINNER

Lindsay Harris, a busy mompreneur whose business Glow Baby helps other parents keep organized, emphasized just how stressful things can be when you don't know what's for dinner - particularly on school nights.

Our interview left me determined to be sure my on-again, off-again menu planning was 100 per cent on for the start of the school year. So this weekend I began to scratch out a plan for dinners the first two weeks of school. My plan is to repeat this two-week menu for the second part of September and then start fresh in October with new dinner ideas.

Tonight I'll remember to bring her Glow Baby Menu Planner home from the office and start using it for planning menus and making grocery lists.

After immersing myself in all things back-to-school these last few weeks, I've got to say that I think my time will be better spent on organizational tasks like stocking the pantry and freezer and decluttering the hats and backpacks by the front door, rather than on acquiring absolutely every bit of gear the kids will need for the whole school year. Winter boots can wait a few weeks.

Please check out our back-to-school page for more great ideas!

 

 

 

 

 

Kids' books most likely to be banned

Wouldn't it be nice to live in the world where, at the slightest suggestion of real-world sex or violence, parents didn't scream bloody murder about inappropriate content in school libraries?

Sadly, despite it being 2011, we don't yet live in a society free of intolerant folks who turn up their nose at a book that features homosexuality or talks frankly about drugs.

I don't know if I've got this right, but I'd like to think that school book banning happens less in Canada than it does in the United States. If anyone has statistics that prove or disprove this, I'd love to see them.

Thanks to tweep @redheadwriting, I spotted this awesome infographic on The Good. While it shows the books most likely to prompt parent complaints in the United States, I think it's still worth a look for Canadian readers.

Please check it out and let me know what you think in the comments.

To get a better look, view it in interative mode on The Good Website.

And don't forget to check out our home page to make sure you haven't missed any important parenting news today.

First day of school for a "Grade 2-er"

I wasn't as organized this Labour Day weekend as I like to be, so there was no big back-to-school bash, or ritual chocolate-chip pancake breakfast as in years past.

But my boys seemed content with our low-key lead-in to the new school year. I took each of them on separate outings to the little neighbourhood stationary store, Alister to pick out his first pencil case for Montessori school (he starts next week) and Cameron for some new pencils, sharpener and glue stick to put in his. Alister's Saturday day jaunt ended with a custom cookie from Sweet Flour, and Cameron's Monday trip at Baskin-Robbins. (Obviously this plan wasn't so great for my waistline.)

More important than acquiring this stuff, though, was talking to the boys about the changes ahead. Wee Alister needed to know he's got to say goodbye at the cloakroom door and put on his own indoor shoes, and that the soother will have to say behind (I know, I know, I just haven't had time to help him kick his baby habits). Cameron needed to explain that, "To me, I don't look like a Grade 2-er," and be reassured that he has grown and is indeed tall enough for second grade. And that surely some of his friends will be in his class. And that he'll make new friends from among the others.

Here's how his first day went:

Cameron can't stand to be late. This is him closing his backpack with enough vigor that I couldn't get a clear shot.

Then he explained school supplies to his little brother.

Since Cameron has walked to school with his buddy, Kieran, from across the street, since Junior Kindergarten, we actually now have four of these first-day-of-school shots of the two of them.

It's always a big help to connect with best friends on the playground, "and maybe figure out where we're gonna meet at recess."

 

Then it was time to say goodbyes...

...and head in!

And that was it! Suppose he's old hat at this back-to-school thing.

There's a lot of education news today:

Battle lines drawn on full-day kindergarten

Full-day kindergarten kicks off in Ontario

Forget what you know about good study habits

StatsCan finds 1 in 5 older teens drops out of school

How to talk to kids about back-to-school fears, concerns

Why full-day kindergarten is a good idea

Today Ontario's ministry of education announced that more than 800 schools will have full-day kindergarten by the fall of 2011.

In phase two of the province's new early-learning initiative, more than 200 additional schools will offer the program, on top of the 600 to provide full-day kindergarten this coming school year.

You can find a complete list of the new schools to offer the program in 2011 here.

I've been answering questions on twitter today about why I think this program is great. I'll outline a few of them briefly here:

1) Quality education before the primary grades is a great equalizer. It helps put kids whose parents can't afford top-quality daycare, preschool programs or attentive nannies on the same playing field with those whose can. And it helps level things out between kids raised by single parents juggling two jobs with those from families that can afford to keep one parent at home.

Charles Pascal, co-author of the report upon which the program is modeled, points out that one third of children enter Grade 1 without the necessary skills. Assuring that all children have the same access to a stimulating and nurturing environment for two years before their primary years is the best way to address this.

2) It helps lower the burden of childcare costs on families. Yes, we choose to have children, but our economic system doesn't do much to assist with the cost of raising a flock of future tax payers. Progressive governments do more to support growing families than ours does (Sweden? The Netherlands? Quebec?!), and without their economies crumbling. Some will argue that many single-income households simply go without fancy clothes and vacations to afford to keep one parent at home. But when you're a single parent with only the choice to work or go on welfare, that's simply unfathomable. And even for those who live well, well above the threshold of working poverty, it's not easy to raise a family on one income in a city with an average house price of $446,593. Particularly one where infant child care can run up to $1800 a month, and childcare for the hours outside a "half-day" kindergarten can easily reach $1,000 a month.)

3) "Half-day" kindergarten is not a half-day. It's 2.5 hours. That's not even a terribly long playdate. The logistics of providing childcare for the hours outside of the morning or afternoon program are a nightmare. Who with a job outside of the home can easily dash to the school at 11:30 a.m.? Or to daycare at lunchtime and then to school in the afternoon? There is limited selection among daycares that provide transportation to and from school, and sometimes that leads to "choosing" sub-par, unlicensed care. Busing these tiny kids to and from their daycares is also not an easy thing to carry out, or a fantastically good idea (what if you lose a few?). And where alternating full days are offered instead of half days, it's not only difficult to find childcare that will take your child Tuesday and Thursday of one week and Monday, Wednesday, Friday of the next, but it can be discombobulating for the small child who wakes up each morning and asks where they're going that day.

There's lots more to discuss about the merits of full-day learning. You can read more on our Early Learning page.

In defence of sex ed

All kinds of people are freaking out about the proposed changes to sex education in Ontario.

While I don't yet have the kind of detail on the curriculum that I'd like, I do want to point out where I think some individuals and organization are making inflammatory and incorrect assumptions about the spirit, tone and intention of this sort of education.

We've learned that kids will be discussing homosexuality in Grade 3.

It's 2010. Don't a lot of our kids already have someone in their class who has two moms or two dads? That certainly applies for my son, Cameron. He's in Grade 1. He's known a lovely two-mom family since he was in daycare, and happily accepted an explanation that some people pick as their special person a member of the opposite sex and some people pick someone of their own gender.

For the sake not just of combating homophobia but of normalizing the experiences of school children who have same-sex parents, it's very worthwhile to discuss sexual orientation at an early age. Equally important: Getting the message to kids who may already be sensing some sort of "difference" in themselves compared to others, that they are OK no matter who they have a crush on.

What troubles me is the assumption that talking about sexual orientation is tantamount to recruitment to the gay cause. That's just backward.

Certainly one's religious and cultural values give shape to views on this and other aspects of sexual education. Critics say it is up to families to address sexuality with their children in a way that's in line with the their values.

But here's the thing. They don't.

Or if they do, they're not terribly successful at arming kids with the information they need to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Or to delay sexual activities for which that they don't yet have the maturity to cope.

And that brings me to one of the other contentious points in Ontario premier Dalton McGuinty's proposed new sex ed program: discussion of oral sex as early as Grade 7.

There's a reason why oral sex is being called "the new goodnight kiss." Star reporter Trish Crawford explained how normalized it's become in a story called "Oral sex no longer a big deal, teen girls say."

By Grade 9 one third of Canadian teenagers are having oral sex. That's a fact and remains so whether or not we're too squeamish or scandalized to discuss it. If we want kids to delay this activity instead of engage in it, um, willy nilly, maybe we'd be better off explaining that you can get yucky sores in your mouth - and much worse - if you're not taking proper precautions. Or if you're trading sexual favours with schoolmates like they were Pizza Pockets.

It's important to look at the context in which kids will be hearing about oral sex. According to a story we had last night, Grade 7 kids will be learning about "delaying sexual activity, sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy and STI prevention."

Did you see the first thing? "Delaying sexual activity." The intent here is not to provide some sort of instructional how-to for kids who would otherwise know nothing about sex. It's about getting kids who are already engaged in risky behaviour - or will be soon enough - to be smarter about it.

This subject has prompted some discussion around the office. One colleague mentioned that when she was going to school in Nova Scotia, sex ed didn't start until junior high. "Two of my classmates had babies that year."

A little late, maybe?

More on this subject:

Changes to sex-ed curriculum raise ire of family groups

McGuinty wants sex ed to start in Grade 3

Oral sex no longer a big deal

Daycare should not be a partisan issue

Why must child care be so divisive?

Michael Ignatieff announced yesterday that - no matter what the cost - a national childcare program would become reality under a government led by him. 

Not surprisingly, partisan gloves immediately came off. On one side, Liberal supporters happy to hear the news. On the other, the expected conservative accusations that the initiative is too expensive, too ambitious and not supportive of the traditional family where one parent stays home to look after the children. "You had 'em, YOU look after 'em," is the basic message.

What I think gets lost here is the notion that children themselves are citizens. There are always the predictable daycare naysayers who speak of kids as though they are a luxury consumer product. "If you cannot afford children, don't have them. Don't expect me to pay for your bad family planning," espoused one such commenter on Susan Delacourt's story. 

While there's a cogent argument to be made that there's a worldwide population crisis (though my own take is that we have a more urgent over-consumption crisis in the developed world), Canada does not have that sort of population problem. In fact, we are not replacing ourselves fast enough, not even when immigration is factored in. The boomers and seniors complaining that a universal child-care program is "20 years too late," and that the money would be better spent on the medical and old-age security costs associated with an aging population, are incredibly myopic.

The children in daycare now are the very ones whose income taxes will support the "Me Generation" when they are elderly.

Here's what I'd like the ask the commenters who use the phrases "my money," "my paycheque" and "my taxes" as if there had been a going-out-of-business sale at the Fraser Institute: Just because you're done with raising kids (or didn't have them), do you think people aren't going to continue to have babies? Are we simply going to wind civilization down here to coincide with your slow, pharmacologically-enhanced demise?

No, not everyone who has children can afford them. Teen pregnancy may be down thanks to public health campaigns and better access to birth control, but there are plenty of other ways to wind up with both kids and a small bank account. Fleeing a place of less fortunate birth, for instance (should kids from Haiti not be entitled to a licensed daycare spot?). Becoming the victim of spousal abuse, or simply being left by the other parent to fend on one income. Not having a higher education and a chance at a professional salary. Getting pregnant in the middle of a higher education and not being willing - because of religious conviction or other deeply-held personal beliefs - to consider termination as an option. Becoming ill or disabled.

None of these circumstances (or, I'd argue, any decision made by any parent) removes the right of a child to quality care in the critical preschool years. If you're not clear on the connection between good early years and successful adult outcomes, read the Pascal Report for starters. And while you're at it, ask an average middle class family in Quebec about the difference $7-a-day daycare has made in terms of the stress - even on double-income, professional couples - of providing for a family.

To put it in terms that tunnel-finished, free-marketeers can understand, there is a demand for childcare spaces that far outstrips supply. Witness: two-year wait lists for licensed daycare spots and longer wait-lists yet for coveted after-school programs.

So keep in mind that while you're busy spewing your disapproval of federally-funded childcare into commenting fields on articles, there are low-income parents dropping their children off at unlicensed basement daycares where they will sit in front of the television with no one to sing to them, read to them, or engage them in a little finger painting.

And furthermore, access to good quality childcare does nothing to threaten the right of families to choose to have one parent look after the children at home. A daycare space does not remove a stay-at-home mom space.

A national daycare program is a good idea. And it's a good idea no matter who thought of it, and no matter what political party manages to make it happen.

Family Literacy Day and Wicked Wednesdays

In case you missed it during all of today's Apple-related madness, it is Family Literacy Day.

The event is run by ABC Literacy Canada, and the idea is to "encourage families to read and learn together."

I agree wholeheartedly with the folks at ABC that literacy is about more than just reading books. You can encourage literacy by doing all sorts of things, including following a recipe. I love the way we can organically learn about fractions through baking, too. (I know, that was my nerdy schoolmarm moment of the day.)

Not sure how to mark the occasion? Here's a list of fun activities. Or find a Family Literacy Day activity in your area.

I think my favourite Literacy Day initiative might just be the Munsch at Home contest. Families submitted their own Munsch-inspired stories for a chance to be published with a real-deal Michael Martchenko illustration, and to win personal visits from Munsch both at their home and in their neighbourhood school.

We've got the winning story here.

ABC has all the finalists here.

We weren't really trying to mark the occasion, but I guess we started our Family Literacy Day with a pre-breakfast reading of Captain Underpants. After school today, our caregiver will be cajoling lovingly encouraging Cameron through a couple of pages of homework (due tomorrow). That counts, right? And we'll be reading our routine bedtime stories, likely including favourites by Mo Willems or Oliver Jeffers.

On a slightly different but related topic, I've been noticing a pattern of badness on Wednesdays (not every Wednesday is chock full of Family Literacy Day fun).

I don't mean to suggest that my boys are being "bad" on Wednesdays - it's more that we're all hitting a bump of midweek fatigue that leads to tears on Wednesdays evenings.

The kids even cry sometimes, too.

But seriously, we've all been through quite a bit of school- and work-week busyness by Wednesdays, when the weekend still feels quite a way off. Sitting on the bunkbeds last week, Cam drying tears about something I can no longer recall, I proposed that we start a new Wednesday tradition called "Wicked Wednesdays." (We're predictably alliterative about these things, having already had "Friday Fun" in place for a while.)

We've had stomach flu ripping through our house this week, so I'll be happy if we can mark our inaugural Wicked Wednesday with a minimum of vomit. However, the "deal" is that if the kids already have their pajamas on WHEN I GET HOME AT 5:30, we can have a movie night and a "snacky dinner" in the living room. For some reason, this break in routine has the kids pretty excited.

I'm all about parenting by gimmick if it makes the evening a little more fun and bedtime come a little sooner.

So in between our Family Literacy Day reading, we'll be taking a brief (90 minute) break to watch a movie. I won't give away what it will be other than to say it will likely be part of a series that rhymes with Czar Pores.

If you're also looking for a way to get through Wednesday, I hope you just might find a little help in the Munsch stories, or copy our lower-brow movie plan.

A Grade 1 perspective on all-day kindergarten

His father and I were talking about the gradual roll-out of all-day kindergarten in Ontario this morning, when Cameron, ever nosy, asked, "What are you talking about?"

I explained that there would soon be all-day kindergarten in some Ontario schools, and that it might be available at our school by the time Alister, now 2, enters schools.

"I don't think that's a very good idea," said Cameron. "That's too long."

I proceeded to carry on about how part of the day would be very play-based, and about leveled-playing fields and about how not every family can afford a nanny or a really good daycare. In other words: blah, blah, blah, blah and blah.

Cameron's answer?

"I can't let that happen to my brother. I CARE about him!"

Today's top news stories for parents

There is lots of education news on the site today that you won't want to miss.

1. Our top story is on Ontario's plan to complete an overhaul of school curriculum. Education minister Kathleen Wynne says the move is a response to years of complaint from both educators and parents that the curriculum is bogged down with a staggering number of "expectations." The idea will be to take the focus off of cramming in "coverage" of these prescribed areas and onto deepening understanding and developing research and reasoning skills. That could mean fewer details on the War of 1812, and more context on how and why wars happen. There is a passionate discussion happening in the comments right now. Please read and add your thoughts.

2. Demonstrating what this sort of learning could look like, we've got a profile of a classroom where the teacher spends less time going through curriculum checklists and more on big-picture thinking. She also keeps keeps the students active and on their feet to keep them engaged.

3. We also have an update on all-day kindergarten. While the Toronto District School Board and Toronto Catholic District School Boards have asked for extra time to sort out which schools will offer full-day kindergarten in the fall of 2010, Sudbury is the furthest ahead when it comes to actually implementing the program. And attached we've got lists of schools tentatively slated to have all-day kindergarten in Halton Public, Peel Public and Peel Catholic boards. Remember you can be sure not to miss a story on the Pascal report and the implementation of all-day learning by bookmarking our Early Learning page.

4. And if you've got a teenager interested in a career in criminology or law enforcement (or even if you're simply a CSI fan), check out this story on Humber College's new forensic lab, dubbed the CSI classroom.

5. Also, a bill was passed Monday that formalizes school board's responsibility for student achievement, but critics say it should have done more to prevent conflict-of-interest violations, like those that have plagued the Toronto Catholic board in recent years.

Lots to keep up with. Have a great Tuesday!