Being a good sport

Spirits were a little low at my son's soccer game last week.

The other team was clobbering them and somehow we'd just scored a goal on ourselves (the ball simply hit one of them and bounced into the net).

But that wasn't the part that got me down. The father of one of the stronger players would not stop riding his son the whole time. (Bear in mind these kids are seven and eight.) This dad's message to his son was basically to play more than one position on the field. "Your team needs you," he kept saying. "Try some longer kicks." The instructions did not stop. The look on this child's face revealed his dad really was ruining his fun.

When Serious Dad made some general comment to the other parents on the sidelines about our kids needing to get it together, I had my opening for a chirpy response about it not being Major League Soccer.

What ensued was a stupid conversation with me defending having fun and him insisting you could still have fun while being disciplined. I'm pretty sure my son had a better time at the game than his.

This was just my first experience with those sideline shouters we hear so much about, and I know that many of you have similar - and much worse - stories to tell.

I choose to believe that most parents involved in amateur sport bring a good attitude to the soccer pitch or hockey arena, and I'm taking heart in a BMO Financial Group study conducted by Leger Marketing.

It found that competitiveness was one of the lowest ranked reasons that parents choose to register their children in sports, while 99 per cent of respondents said that fun was important.  Not surprisingly, 97 per cent said that the health benefits were among their motivations. The chance to develop life skills was selected by 96 per cent and the opportunity to develop social skills by 94 per cent.

Some other interesting findings include:

* Four out of five parents surveyed felt that team sports were important.

* Soccer has the highest level of participation in Canada, with 33 per cent saying they would enroll their kids versus 16 per cent for hockey.

* Those living in rural areas were more likely than those in the suburbs to view being outside as an important factor when chosing sports for their children.

We're off to soccer again tonight and I'm planning to give Serious Dad a wide berth. Let's just all remember why we enroll our kids in sports. It's to show them a good time. It's to instill a love of being active. It's to help them make friends and learn to collaborate with others. It's to give them the resilience they can only gain from losing a game and finding that the world doesn't end. It's for the understanding that "you can't win them all" and the sweet feeling of success when they do.

Here's to a great summer on and beside the field!

Girls have a right to ice

It's been an important day for Toronto girls who play hockey.

 

Threatening the City of Toronto with a Human Rights complaint, the Toronto Leaside Girls Hockey Association scored a victory in a nation-wide and decades-long fight for equal access to ice time.

Citing costs of $1 million in ice time rented mostly from private arenas, the organization alleged there was systematic discrimination against girls who play hockey. Traditionally girls hockey leagues have found themselves coming a distant third in priority sequence for access to rinks, after boys' hockey associations and adult men's teams.

My colleague Jennifer Wilson-Speedy, yourhome.ca editor and hockey player, remembers playing at 10 o'clock at night after the local Old Timer's team was finished. Coming after boys and beer leagues? That's simply not acceptable.

And today David Miller agreed.

He said men's leagues would have to move over so the City can address the imbalance.

Good for these girls, and good for the hardworking association president, Ron Baker, who stood up for their rights.

Top news stories of the day for parents

The mood around H1N1 has shifted this week. It's as though the death of 13-year-old Evan Frustaglio made a light go on for parents all over Ontario. Worried moms and dads across the GTA have flooded vaccine clinics as they opened, prompting York Region to essentially cry uncle late yesterday afternoon with news that the clinics could only hope to vaccinate those currently in line.

Wondering where and when to get your family vaccinated? I've pulled together a list of links to H1N1 vaccine clinic hours at all the public health regions in the GTA. Canada's chief medical office of health, Dr. David Butler-Jones is one of many leading health authorities who express frustration at the number of vaccine myths circulating around the blogosphere and playground circuits. He likens believing that vaccines cause harm to blaming umbrellas for the rain.

I found a good overview of common vaccine myths and why they're not accurate from the Canadian authority, the Public Health Agency of Canada yesterday.

It's also available as part of my list of frequently asked H1N1 questions, including tips on when to call the doctor, how to care for a flu patient, and more.

Parents who think their child has H1N1 should be prepared for a bit of a health-care odyssey. This woman's story of trying to get care for her son, tells the tale.

But it's also important not to panic at every cough (I'm reminding myself this as much as anyone else, because I've got a child home from school with a cough and fever, and it's hard not to worry). Health reporter Joseph Hall's story, No matter what, kids always get the flu, gives us some important direction on when to go to the doctor and when to stay home, but also clarifies the likelihood that if your child has the flu, it is likely H1N1.

Some other news stories not to miss:

'Alarming' weight gain for kids on psych drugs

Catherine Porter's column on the swine flu vaccine and pregnancy

East York flu clinic opens a few hours early to meet demand

Ann Douglas's Mother of All Parenting Blogs on how H1N1 is affecting Canadian parents

Some fun diversions from all this heavy stuff:

How news stories influence Halloween costume choice

Stella McCartney's new line of kids' clothes for the Gap

Today's top news stories for parents

Today is a bit of a big day on the H1N1 story. Sadly, a 13-year-old boy has been confirmed to have succumbed to complications of swine flu.

If you're wondering where to find a clinic in your area, go to our swine flu page and look under "Swine flu Info Links" on the left. Absenteeism from H1N1 is now on the rise in Ontario schools, which is an important indicator of influenza spread.

We've also got an update for pregnant moms. Canada will import 200,000 adjuvant-free H1N1 shots from Australia, rather than wait for our version to make it through our regulatory system. Pregnant women are four times as likely to develop severe complications from swine flu.

Other major news stories you'll want to read:

The 10 least nutritious breakfast cereals Note, they're all the type marketed to kids.

Teenagers at risk for heart disease are on the rise. A two-decade study of teens in the Niagara region of Ontario found that the number with risk factors for heart disease - obesity and high cholesterol - had risen to 21 per cent of all kids in Grade 9.

Price tag for all-day kindergarten rises by $500 million The Ontario government has decided to ignore the Pascal Report's suggestion of using early childhood educators to round out the kindergarten day, and instead put teacher's in charge for the full day. Follow this story on our Early Learning page.

School boards' backers blast 'achievement reform'  They say a bill that would amend the Ontario Education Act would limit the powers of school boards to set education priorities, making those second-fiddle to standardized test results.

New column on women's issues Former environment reporter Catherine Porter has launched a new column. Today she share a little about the juggle between motherhood and work.

A couple of things from yesterday when I was off sick:

Disney will be refunding money to Canadians who purchased Baby Einstein DVDs. That's because it turned out to be such a crock that any form of screen time is good for baby brain development. Talk about a fall from the mom-preneur pedestal for creator Julie Aigner-Clark.

Curriculum examines what puts kids on the street York University has developed lessons plans - including gritty skits performed by students - aimed at busting stereotypes and misconceptions about homelessness.

Some fun diversions:

Parentcentral's Halloween Guide

Fun-filled family events for this week

The Star's Halloween page

Today's top news stories for parents

Among the most-read topics on thestar.com right now is single-sex classrooms. Toronto District School Board education director Chris Spence said earlier this week his new academic plan will include a raft of initiatives aimed at addressing the unique learning needs of boys, including more single-sex classrooms.

There's been strong reaction to this notion, both for and against. If you want to read what people are saying, check out the comments on School plan calls for boys-only classes and Boys-only school 'issue of choice,' not segregation, director says.

I'm pretty new to being a school parent, so I'm not quite sure where I stand on this. But I've been raising my two boys long enough to get the idea. There is a unique exuberance in boys. Many are not big on sitting still. Based on the number of times I say, "Two bum cheeks on your chair," or "Belly button facing the table," over the course of dinner, I can appreciate the job it is to get a dozen or more boys to sit at desks completing worksheets for long stretches. For her latest story in this series, Louis Brown takes us into a school with sex-segregated classes to see how it works. What do you think?

Here are the other major stories you're going to want to read today:

Students to protest police role in schools  A student's arrest at Toronto's Northern Secondary School, which made the rounds on YouTube, has become a point of controversy between those for and against having police and students under the same roof.

A hospital clerk has been fired after turning away a mother and her 7-year-old son The Mexican refugee family was refused help at Humber River Regional Hospital even though the boy had suffered a head injury.

The new bill to protect nannies includes jail time. Legislation introduced yesterday, following a Star investigation, includes a maximum fine of $50,000 and a year in jail for those caught charging a fee for work in Ontario.

Some fun stuff not to miss:

Michelle Obama performed 142 swivels of a hula-hoop at a healthy kids fair yesterday. How many can you do? Vegetable gardening...hula hooping...how are we ever going to keep up?

Love Joe Fresh? Here's some budget fashion inspiration. A photo gallery of Joe Fresh spring 2010 fashion from Toronto Fashion Week.

Ann Douglas's round-up of baby naming tools and advice on naming your baby Check it out, and make sure you subscribe to the RSS feed for The Mother of All Parenting Blogs while you're at it.

How to stylishly declutter your kids' art There's some good advice here on sorting the masterpieces from the, um, non-keepers.

The pop culture influences on this year's Halloween costumes. Learn about this year's best-selling costumes, and find all kinds of other tools on our Halloween Guide.