Cute kid quote of the week: Bathtime edition

Both boys hopped in the tub for the first time in a while last night. Cameron, 8, has moved on to showers, but I asked him to bath with Alister last night.

Alister: "We're TWO NAKED brothers!!!!!"

Cameron: "I'm only here to save water."

Getting organized to welcome the school year

In just over a week, another school year will be underway. Will you be greeting it with happiness or dread?

It's hard to see the short summer season come to an end, but a lot of the parents I talk to will be welcoming the return to routine.

For those who work outside of the home, there's an enormous gap between the two months of summer holidays our kids get and the one or two weeks of vacation we have available to take care of them. Stay-at-home parents may feel they're running out of ways to entertain the kids by now, nevermind the budget for all those enriching camps and lessons. And for those in the middle trying to work from home, a dirth of childcare may have left them dreadfully behind on business tasks or burnt out from clocking late hours at the computer after the kids are in bed.

While I'd like a few more idyllic weekend outings with my kids, I have to admit that I'm among those who are looking forward to fall. I hate to say it because I adore summer trips to the beach and picnics and all that stuff. But my life as a parent who works full time isn't set up to allow for as many of these as I'd like. By the time mid-August hits, my career-mom guilt is at an apex.

So I like to focus on the awesome aspects of September, and enjoy preparing for the new school year.

I was inspired by the women I interviewed for today's story on getting organized for a great September transition.

I couldn't fit absolutely all of their great advice in the article so I thought I'd share here a few extra nuggets of wisdom that have really stuck with me.

IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING ORGANIZED SO EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD

The enviably organized Stacy Crew, who quite literally wrote the book on being an Organized Mom, made this very good point.

"Getting organized is about so much more than having a house that looks like it belongs in a Pottery Barn catalogue. It’s about creating a lifestyle that allows your family to enjoy time together. If I’m sitting there trying to connect with my kids but I realize that I’ve got four loads of laundry to fold and dishes in the sink and blog entries to write, I’m really not going to be in the moment."

And this one:

"It's about simplifying and looking at the big picture. What life do I want for my family? What goals do we have as a unit? If it's to be doing every sporting activity out there, so be it, but a lot of families don't know why they're doing what they're doing."

YOUR KIDS CAN DO MORE

Family life coach Laurel Crossley, otherwise known as OptiMom, is a big proponent of not doing everything for our kids, but instead, empowering them to do things for themselves:

"Kids would like to be part of the process and most of us do everything for them except for maybe asking, 'What colour would you like?' My kids are extremely independent. I did that knowing they are going to have to go out in this world and do things on their own. They need to know how to do laundry, wash floors and get themselves a snack."

Your kids might not be ready to mop the floors just yet, but perhaps they could get their shoes on without your help. Bonus: It'll save your back.

YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S FOR DINNER

Lindsay Harris, a busy mompreneur whose business Glow Baby helps other parents keep organized, emphasized just how stressful things can be when you don't know what's for dinner - particularly on school nights.

Our interview left me determined to be sure my on-again, off-again menu planning was 100 per cent on for the start of the school year. So this weekend I began to scratch out a plan for dinners the first two weeks of school. My plan is to repeat this two-week menu for the second part of September and then start fresh in October with new dinner ideas.

Tonight I'll remember to bring her Glow Baby Menu Planner home from the office and start using it for planning menus and making grocery lists.

After immersing myself in all things back-to-school these last few weeks, I've got to say that I think my time will be better spent on organizational tasks like stocking the pantry and freezer and decluttering the hats and backpacks by the front door, rather than on acquiring absolutely every bit of gear the kids will need for the whole school year. Winter boots can wait a few weeks.

Please check out our back-to-school page for more great ideas!

 

 

 

 

 

Cute kid quote of the week: Tornado edition

We hung out in our basement for a while last night during the peak of the thundershowers. Maybe it wasn't strictly necessary but my eldest child was concerned the tornado watch would escalate to a full-blown tornado warning.

Mostly to assure Cam we were doing everything we needed to do, I actually took his sleeping little brother out of his bed and carried him down for a visit with the lovely people who rent our basement apartment - our former nanny and her husband.

Alister ended up sleeping down there and came up the stairs bright-eyed and bushy tailed this morning, announcing that he slept in the basement "because of the potato warnings."

 

 

Cute kid quote of the week: Environmental edition

Cameron, 8, walking home from school while talking about consumption rates and air pollution:

"If we keep going like this, in 20 years, we're going to need five more Earths."

(Pause.)

"Someone should make a public service announcement about that."

 

Being a good sport

Spirits were a little low at my son's soccer game last week.

The other team was clobbering them and somehow we'd just scored a goal on ourselves (the ball simply hit one of them and bounced into the net).

But that wasn't the part that got me down. The father of one of the stronger players would not stop riding his son the whole time. (Bear in mind these kids are seven and eight.) This dad's message to his son was basically to play more than one position on the field. "Your team needs you," he kept saying. "Try some longer kicks." The instructions did not stop. The look on this child's face revealed his dad really was ruining his fun.

When Serious Dad made some general comment to the other parents on the sidelines about our kids needing to get it together, I had my opening for a chirpy response about it not being Major League Soccer.

What ensued was a stupid conversation with me defending having fun and him insisting you could still have fun while being disciplined. I'm pretty sure my son had a better time at the game than his.

This was just my first experience with those sideline shouters we hear so much about, and I know that many of you have similar - and much worse - stories to tell.

I choose to believe that most parents involved in amateur sport bring a good attitude to the soccer pitch or hockey arena, and I'm taking heart in a BMO Financial Group study conducted by Leger Marketing.

It found that competitiveness was one of the lowest ranked reasons that parents choose to register their children in sports, while 99 per cent of respondents said that fun was important.  Not surprisingly, 97 per cent said that the health benefits were among their motivations. The chance to develop life skills was selected by 96 per cent and the opportunity to develop social skills by 94 per cent.

Some other interesting findings include:

* Four out of five parents surveyed felt that team sports were important.

* Soccer has the highest level of participation in Canada, with 33 per cent saying they would enroll their kids versus 16 per cent for hockey.

* Those living in rural areas were more likely than those in the suburbs to view being outside as an important factor when chosing sports for their children.

We're off to soccer again tonight and I'm planning to give Serious Dad a wide berth. Let's just all remember why we enroll our kids in sports. It's to show them a good time. It's to instill a love of being active. It's to help them make friends and learn to collaborate with others. It's to give them the resilience they can only gain from losing a game and finding that the world doesn't end. It's for the understanding that "you can't win them all" and the sweet feeling of success when they do.

Here's to a great summer on and beside the field!

Our sneak peek at the new Lego Store

When I told my son Cameron, 7, that we would be visiting the new Lego Store in Sherway Gardens the day before the Grand Opening, and that (gasp! Call Children's Aid!) I'd be taking him out of school for this, his response was, "I think I'm going to faint."

As some of you know, my boys are NUTS about Lego. They play with it every day, put Lego on their wish lists for each gift-giving occasion, read Lego magazine, visit Lego.com and count their allowance in anticipation of what they might be able to buy. Cameron even had a Lego-themed birthday party.

So naturally, yesterday's outing blew his mind.

The moment we arrived at the store he clapped eyes on the Star Wars Death Star model - a coveted collector's item - in the shop's gallery window. (You can also get a good look at the impressive Tower Bridge set there.)

"I'm Brandie Weikle" I said to the Lego staffers who showed us around. Cam echoed "and I'm in Lego heaven."

 

One of the highlights was this amazing set-up where fans can assemble their own Lego guys.

 

 Cam had a great time with that. SO many smiles on this outing.

 At the "Master Builder Bar" kids can follow instructions to build Lego models using the bricks in the middle of the table, or play games online, as Cameron is doing here.

Immensely popular with the truly commited Adult Fans of Lego (AFOL), the "Pick-a-Brick" wall offers an ever-changing combination of bricks in various sizes and colours, perfect for creative types inventing their own Lego models.

Speaking of creativity, one of my favourite parts was staring into these display cases to see models put together by talented builders who aren't even Lego staff - just fans happy to share. This theatre, complete with skeleton under the stage, is great...

...as is this circus scene.

As we pulled out of the parking lot after our visit was done, Cameron said "My favourite part was just walking around, seeing what they had and being AMAZED at what they had."

If you haven't had a chance to check out my story on the Lego store opening, you may not know that the grand opening runs Friday from 11-7, and Saturday and Sunday from 10-6. A highlight will be the construction of an eight-foot R2D2 in Sherway Garden's central square.

I also wanted to share that I was helped with this story by Phil Fraboni, an adult fan of Lego who plans to be at the opening on Sunday. Fraboni has been playing with Lego since he was a wee boy. His collecting passion today is Star Wars Lego, of which he was around 50 sets. 

Here he is showing off some of his assembled Star Wars kits. So dedicated is Fraboni to both Lego and Star Wars that this weekend will also see him trooping with the 501st Legion Canadian Garrison in London dressed in Star Wars: The Clone Wars Captain Rex armour.

His mother is a much better Lego mom than I am. She saved all of his sets from childhood INCLUDING THE INSTRUCTIONS! Fraboni plans to put these all together once he has the display space!

You can follow Phil Fraboni on twitter at twitter.com/hamcam.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mom the Vote at the polls today!

At the risk of stating the obvious, the final and most important thing you can do to #MomTheVote is make it to your polling station today to cast your ballot.

Seriously. Don’t let anything short of hospitalization or other family emergency get in your way.

Many of you could be looking upon your schedules today and feeling a little stressed. Casting your ballot between work and dinner, or while keeping the baby asleep in her stroller, may seem like just another task piled upon you.

I ask you to consider that only a comparably privileged existence can allow for that viewpoint. Think of the places in the world today where people are going to war for the right to do what we lucky folks can look upon as just another thing to cross off the list.

Graham Hughes/THE CANADIAN PRESS

So how are you going to make this happen? Have you put a voting plan in place? Mine is to leave the office a smidge on the early side (you’re entitled to three hours off if you need it), get my boys from their two schools and take them with me.

Their dad and I have been talking up the election and explaining the process, as we aim to do whenever there’s a chance to vote. It’s a great way to make the democratic process real for the kids. As perturbed as he is that he can’t cast a ballot himself (we did our best to explain using a theoretical Kids’ Party that would cancel school and make ice cream an official food group), Cameron, 7, is keen to understand how it all works.

He's been tagging along on voting day at every opportunity, even one rough time when he was a toddler complaining intermittently of “something [imperceptible] in my eye.” Even when awkward parking and snowsuits were involved. Even when a trip to a church basement fit about as easily into my evening as a root canal.

But you know what? When he’s allowed to vote, I’m absolutely sure Cam will make the effort. (Besides, we’d disown him if he didn’t.)

To cut corners tonight, I’ve planned a simple dinner of grilled cheese or BLT sandwiches with fruit for dinner. I know this meal will come together quickly after I get home with tired kids in tow and it's a relief to have something so easy on deck.

What’s going to work at your house? If your extra-curricular schedule is super demanding this evening, ask yourself what it would say to your kids if hockey or band was given more importance than exercising your democratic right?

Maybe you can even create a fun new ritual around election night – one that your kids can look forward to each time. Could you ride your bikes there together, or watch a movie when you get home? Could you arrange to meet a neighbour and let the kids run around on the grass while you take turns casting ballots? It doesn't matter what you do just as long as you get there.

So tonight, skip something. Order pizza. Go for a post-vote milkshake. Do what you have to do to make your voice heard.

20 blog posts, 20 comments, one day

Today I saw a post by Ali Martell about her longing for the days when blogging was just about writing, reading and sharing and maybe a little less about optimizing and taking pitches and all the rest. In it she pledges to read and comment on 20 blog posts each day and comment on them. Every day.

I'm not sure I'll be able to keep up but I gave Project 20 a go today and found it very enriching. What I learned: There's so much great writing out there and I'm only just beginning to scratch the surface.

Thanks to everyone who shared a link to their blog post. My aim here was to comment in all kinds of places and particularly on blogs where it would be appreciated. I adore getting comments on my little blog, and I hope it brought just a smidge of good feeling to some writers today to see my words below their posts.

It's definitely work to try to fit in that much reading and commenting, though not impossible. I edited fewer stories today because of this undertaking, but I enjoyed it immensely.

It's 10:15 and I'm just finishing up. Here are the links to the 20 blog posts I read and commented on today:

Cheaper than therapy - Project 20

Z recommends - An open letter to the Girl Scouts of the USA

Have Baby Will Travel - Character dining with toddler

A Mother World - J. Crew Ad: Painting sons toes pink a big deal?

Active Kids Club - All-day kindergarten: A child's perspective

Bit of Mom Sense - Healthy snacks and overcoming unhealthy marketing messages

Little Miss Mocha - Thinly veiled discrimination

After the Artist's Way - Clearly, I'm not French

The Tree Hugger - Weekday vegetarian: Artichoke, kale and ricotta pie

Yummy Mummy Club - Nick of Time: Should kids sell cookies for fundraisers?

The Kids Are Alright - Once upon a time I wrote about food

Neighbourhood Sprawl - That's a good joe

Through the Looking Glass - 52 in '11: I'd Know You Anywhere by Laura Lippman

Yummy Mummy Club - Julie Cole, The Baby Machine: Online is public domain

Life with Bellymonster: Lost and found, dreams of a daughter

A peek inside the fish bowl: This is what marketing to moms looks like today

Print to Pixels: 18 again

The Boot Camp Blog: Anouncing my diet book

Lovely Bicycle: Female anatomy and saddle discomfort

Enviro Dad: An Earth Day call to action

Hmmmm. Looking over the list I can see that I commented almost entirely (Hi Eric!) on blogs written by women. If I do another post like this anytime soon, I'll make sure to be mindful of that in my reading and try to even it out.

The whole pot of tea

I've made a promise to myself. At least once a week, I'll brew a whole pot of tea. And I'll drink it while it's still warm.

It's an incredibly mundane resolution, but it represents so much more than just the caffeine indulgence.

Monday to Friday I make single cups of tea, puttering around before leaving the house for work, juggling loads of laundry and breakfast requests. Sometimes I boil the kettle several times before actually remembering to pour it over the tea bag in one of my favourite blue mugs. Just as often, it gets cold while I make "eggy sandwiches" or oatmeal.

At the office, I buy a second cup of tea at the little tuck shop on the first floor of the Toronto Star building. I usually only manage to drink half or two-thirds of it before it gets cold.

But my new aim is to slow down long enough to (almost) single task as I drink a few cups of tea. For the last two weekends, I've headed to my home's enclosed porch to drink my pot of tea while reading an actual book or newspaper. Not on my laptop. Not on my iPhone. Instead, on my bottom under a blanket (while the mornings are still cool), for the duration of approximately three cups.

As parents, the idea of a few moments to read and sip a favourite hot drink can seem so elusive. Granted, it's easier for me to accomplish this than it is for some. I no longer have a baby who needs to be breastfed every few minutes. Because I share custody of my kids with the boys' great dad, I have a some structured time in my week when I'm not with them (painful at first, but something I've come to appreciate for its silver lining).

However, I maintain that it IS possible for anyone to slow down long enough for a pot of tea or a second cup of coffee. Maybe you'll still have munchkins running around. Maybe you don't have a partner with whom to trade off, or perhaps you're just so in the thick of baby care or early-morning hockey practices it doesn't seem realistic. But all of us can make a choice to indulge in something small and virtually free. If you're on your own with tiny children, maybe you'll have to get some help from the Backyardigans while you sip and read (or have a hot bath or whatever would feel good for you).

What strikes me, though, is the number of people who do share parenting with a partner, but who don't seem to be able to break away for the shortest amount of time. There's a complex matrix here of attachment, guilt, control and inertia. We don't think we can slow down so we don't. But we're actually just making choices to keep doing things the way we always have. And we can make a different choice to grab a little time for ourselves.

Sometimes it appears as though spending every second engaged with the family or our household chores is the noble thing to do. It's hard to get away from that to-do list and the urgent demands of a little one seeking someone to be Mater to his Lightning McQueen. Perhaps it would help to think of the time we carve out for ourselves as insurance against losing it on our kids when we're frustrating and can't bear to listen to another squabble or colicy cry. Because there is absolutely a cause-and-effect relationship between utter lack of personal time and our patience and tolerance.

So let's do this together. What would recharge you just a little? How can you make it happen?

 

Using the good

I realized, with a bit of surprise the other day, that I have a problem with "using the good."

Since I like to serve my 3-year-old yogurt parfaits in my good martini glasses (which, incidentally, turns out to be a good way to get rid of one's fancy martini glasses) I thought I was a veritable poster girl for "using the good." For seizing the day, at least as far as cloth napkins and good china are concerned.

I keep my grandmother's tea service on a tray on the counter. But, admittedly, it's not used as often as I intended when I put it there.

The thing that made me realize I'd been hoarding at least some of the good instead of using it, was a humble bar of soap.

See, people give me these gorgeous soaps for birthdays and special occasions. And instead of tucking into them next time I head to the bath, I spend a year or two admiring their packaging, which I lovingly display on my bathroom vanity or in little lined baskets.

What the heck for? I realized. Is there really going to be an occasion some time in the future where I will need to be better moisturized when I come out of the shower? Why save little luxury items instead of just enjoying them and using them up? It'll bring a little sensory pleasure to the day and cut down on clutter.

I'm not sure what exactly this has to do with parenting, which is the focus of this blog. But I do know that if it's important to me to teach my boys to value a candle-lit dinner and make ordinary experiences more delightful, I better live that way myself!

So moms (and dads): Could you dig out some bath salts (single-malt scotch) and use a little of the good after the kids are in bed tonight?