Getting organized to welcome the school year

In just over a week, another school year will be underway. Will you be greeting it with happiness or dread?

It's hard to see the short summer season come to an end, but a lot of the parents I talk to will be welcoming the return to routine.

For those who work outside of the home, there's an enormous gap between the two months of summer holidays our kids get and the one or two weeks of vacation we have available to take care of them. Stay-at-home parents may feel they're running out of ways to entertain the kids by now, nevermind the budget for all those enriching camps and lessons. And for those in the middle trying to work from home, a dirth of childcare may have left them dreadfully behind on business tasks or burnt out from clocking late hours at the computer after the kids are in bed.

While I'd like a few more idyllic weekend outings with my kids, I have to admit that I'm among those who are looking forward to fall. I hate to say it because I adore summer trips to the beach and picnics and all that stuff. But my life as a parent who works full time isn't set up to allow for as many of these as I'd like. By the time mid-August hits, my career-mom guilt is at an apex.

So I like to focus on the awesome aspects of September, and enjoy preparing for the new school year.

I was inspired by the women I interviewed for today's story on getting organized for a great September transition.

I couldn't fit absolutely all of their great advice in the article so I thought I'd share here a few extra nuggets of wisdom that have really stuck with me.

IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING ORGANIZED SO EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD

The enviably organized Stacy Crew, who quite literally wrote the book on being an Organized Mom, made this very good point.

"Getting organized is about so much more than having a house that looks like it belongs in a Pottery Barn catalogue. It’s about creating a lifestyle that allows your family to enjoy time together. If I’m sitting there trying to connect with my kids but I realize that I’ve got four loads of laundry to fold and dishes in the sink and blog entries to write, I’m really not going to be in the moment."

And this one:

"It's about simplifying and looking at the big picture. What life do I want for my family? What goals do we have as a unit? If it's to be doing every sporting activity out there, so be it, but a lot of families don't know why they're doing what they're doing."

YOUR KIDS CAN DO MORE

Family life coach Laurel Crossley, otherwise known as OptiMom, is a big proponent of not doing everything for our kids, but instead, empowering them to do things for themselves:

"Kids would like to be part of the process and most of us do everything for them except for maybe asking, 'What colour would you like?' My kids are extremely independent. I did that knowing they are going to have to go out in this world and do things on their own. They need to know how to do laundry, wash floors and get themselves a snack."

Your kids might not be ready to mop the floors just yet, but perhaps they could get their shoes on without your help. Bonus: It'll save your back.

YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S FOR DINNER

Lindsay Harris, a busy mompreneur whose business Glow Baby helps other parents keep organized, emphasized just how stressful things can be when you don't know what's for dinner - particularly on school nights.

Our interview left me determined to be sure my on-again, off-again menu planning was 100 per cent on for the start of the school year. So this weekend I began to scratch out a plan for dinners the first two weeks of school. My plan is to repeat this two-week menu for the second part of September and then start fresh in October with new dinner ideas.

Tonight I'll remember to bring her Glow Baby Menu Planner home from the office and start using it for planning menus and making grocery lists.

After immersing myself in all things back-to-school these last few weeks, I've got to say that I think my time will be better spent on organizational tasks like stocking the pantry and freezer and decluttering the hats and backpacks by the front door, rather than on acquiring absolutely every bit of gear the kids will need for the whole school year. Winter boots can wait a few weeks.

Please check out our back-to-school page for more great ideas!

 

 

 

 

 

Cute kid quote of the week: Tornado edition

We hung out in our basement for a while last night during the peak of the thundershowers. Maybe it wasn't strictly necessary but my eldest child was concerned the tornado watch would escalate to a full-blown tornado warning.

Mostly to assure Cam we were doing everything we needed to do, I actually took his sleeping little brother out of his bed and carried him down for a visit with the lovely people who rent our basement apartment - our former nanny and her husband.

Alister ended up sleeping down there and came up the stairs bright-eyed and bushy tailed this morning, announcing that he slept in the basement "because of the potato warnings."

 

 

Goal: Our very own 'Not Bummer Summer'

I was having a bit of a pity party yesterday.

Naturally, this pity party was brought to me in part by evil twins Sleep Deprivation and Stuck-in-Office Blues.

Don't get me wrong. My boys and I started our summer with a wicked week on Vancouver Island, my old stomping ground.

Alister in front of a totem pole at the Royal British Columbia Museum.

 

 Cameron with a painted star fish.

We hunted for pretty pebbles at the beach, peered in tide pools and lazed around in my mother's garden. For this I'm very grateful.

But because I was feeling tired yesterday, I found myself trotting along an unhappy path related to being out of vacation time to spend with the kids and short on cottage weekend invites. (Holy First-world problems, Bat Man!)

I'm sure I'm not the first to find that when you start down this sort of road there are stops in Negative Town and Cloud City (apologies to George Lucas). I was revisiting depressing themes such as How am I Supposed To Get All My Stuff Done? and Why Do Other People Get to Spend Half the Summer At the Cottage?

Luckily, I excel at shaking things off and the proverbial pulling up of socks. So today I have the solution!

I haven't seen the movie, but yesterday my kids went with their lovely grandmother to Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer.

It occured to me on my pretty walk to the subway this morning that the only answer is for the kids and I to pack every available evening and weekend moment we have together full of summertime fun. It'll be our very own "Not Bummer Summer." I may be short on holiday time, but that needn't prevent me from planning picnic dinners, after-work trips to Centre Island, weekend beach outings, hikes, swims and bike rides. We may not endeavour to catch Big Foot, but we can get our thrill points in other ways.

If you too are short on holiday time or the budget to get away, please let me know how you intend to make the most of the warm weeks without travelling far from home. I'd love to hear your ideas for a Not Bummer Summer.

 

 

Wordless Wednesday: Which way to the beach?

Dean McDermott on fatherhood

Actor Dean McDermott, of Tori and Dean fame, was in Toronto today to promote the 50th anniversary of Pampers, along with wife Tori Spelling and his two younger children, Liam and Stella.

No word on whether Pampers will be providing gratis newborn diapers when the family's newest addition arrives later this year! The couple announced in April that Spelling is expecting their third child (McDermott also has a son with his first wife, Mary Jo Eustace).

Timed to Father's Day, Pampers is launching an initiative called Little Miracle Missions, which solicits participants to offer acts of kindness to new dads so they can spend more time with their babies. You might pledge to mow your neighbour's lawn or drop off dinner, for instance.

I spoke to McDermott about his view on the modern dad. He said he believes the role of the father has changed dramatically since he first started changing diapers as the 12-year-old uncle to his older sisters' children.

Racheal McCaig Photography

"It’s changed a lot. It’s great to see dads, you know, taking the kids to school and doing all the things that the mom traditionally does, changing diapers and being a stay-at-home dad. I think it’s great."

McDermott admits his schedule as an actor gave him a lot more flexibility than most fathers to be around his children when they were first born.

"I had time off between jobs," he says. "You know 9-to-5ers don’t get that chance because you know, they’re up at the crack of dawn, they’re out to work, they come home exhausted and tired and so to be able to have that time as a father is priceless."

Asked what he thought could be done to make for more supportive work environments for dads, McDermott pointed to better childcare.

"I think it’s a great idea to have daycare centres in a lot of these offices that people work in. I think it’s more effective because you know your child is somewhere safe and you can focus on the task at hand and get that done. And spend your lunchtime with your kids."

How does he plan to make sure each of his kids gets some of his individual attention once his fourth child arrives?

"You have to make time. You have to schedule it in," he says. "When you’re that busy you have to because spare time is just not going to drop out of the sky like, 'Oh hey, we’ve gotta a free day, let’s go do something.' Make sure you schedule time for your relationship and your children."

So what does McDermott hope to get for Father's Day?

"You know what? I know what I would love, an absolutely quiet day, maybe by the pool, just with the kids and Tori just hanging out and doing nothing. That would be a good Father’s Day."

As McDermott's interviews were wrapping up, Spelling, Liam and Stella arrived at the event...

...where she was almost instantly approached by fans seeking photos...

...or an opportunity to comment on Stella's dress.

I've never seen the couple's reality TV show. Are any of you fans? Would love to hear your feedback in the comments.

Cute kid quote of the week: Environmental edition

Cameron, 8, walking home from school while talking about consumption rates and air pollution:

"If we keep going like this, in 20 years, we're going to need five more Earths."

(Pause.)

"Someone should make a public service announcement about that."

 

Sunday Blues

Does this sound familiar? Late Sunday afternoon, as the weekend draws to a close, Friday's optimism gives way to the realization that you only got part-way through your chores and haven't really sat down yet. Can this period of "rest and relaxation" really be over already?

I've had pretty rough cases of Sunday-evening blues these last few weeks. Maybe it's that the warmer days make us yearn for unstructured time. Maybe it's that single parenthood means the yard and home are my responsibility alone, and it gets me down when I haven't managed to mow the lawn. Maybe it's simply that , like everyone with a full life outside of work, it's hard to see an end to weekend days spent hanging with the kids and entertaining friends.

Yesterday, the end of the weekend found us returning from a hike at Hilton Falls and a playdate in Burlington. Cameron said he was bummed the weekend was almost over, articulating exactly how I was feeling. Driving the car I found myself searching for a way to turn the end of the weekend into a celebration that would lift everyone's spirits.

I decided to hit the bakery 10 minutes before close and buy the last chocolate devil's food cake on the shelf.

Back at home we decided to make it a birthday party for one of Alister's stuffed animals, a lion that helps him scare away bad dreams at night. Alister got to embellish the cake with sprinkles.

Cameron does the honours and helps Lion with the candles.

It worked! The cake brought a smile to everyone's faces and we ended the weekend on a high note.

What do you do to create a celebration out of an ordinary day? How do you cope with Sunday blues?

 

 

Cute kid quote of the week - homework edition

Cameron, 7 and three-quarters, confessing yesterday to forgetting his homework at school AGAIN.

"Look on the bright side! At least this way we get more family time!"

Cheeky monkey.

Being a good sport

Spirits were a little low at my son's soccer game last week.

The other team was clobbering them and somehow we'd just scored a goal on ourselves (the ball simply hit one of them and bounced into the net).

But that wasn't the part that got me down. The father of one of the stronger players would not stop riding his son the whole time. (Bear in mind these kids are seven and eight.) This dad's message to his son was basically to play more than one position on the field. "Your team needs you," he kept saying. "Try some longer kicks." The instructions did not stop. The look on this child's face revealed his dad really was ruining his fun.

When Serious Dad made some general comment to the other parents on the sidelines about our kids needing to get it together, I had my opening for a chirpy response about it not being Major League Soccer.

What ensued was a stupid conversation with me defending having fun and him insisting you could still have fun while being disciplined. I'm pretty sure my son had a better time at the game than his.

This was just my first experience with those sideline shouters we hear so much about, and I know that many of you have similar - and much worse - stories to tell.

I choose to believe that most parents involved in amateur sport bring a good attitude to the soccer pitch or hockey arena, and I'm taking heart in a BMO Financial Group study conducted by Leger Marketing.

It found that competitiveness was one of the lowest ranked reasons that parents choose to register their children in sports, while 99 per cent of respondents said that fun was important.  Not surprisingly, 97 per cent said that the health benefits were among their motivations. The chance to develop life skills was selected by 96 per cent and the opportunity to develop social skills by 94 per cent.

Some other interesting findings include:

* Four out of five parents surveyed felt that team sports were important.

* Soccer has the highest level of participation in Canada, with 33 per cent saying they would enroll their kids versus 16 per cent for hockey.

* Those living in rural areas were more likely than those in the suburbs to view being outside as an important factor when chosing sports for their children.

We're off to soccer again tonight and I'm planning to give Serious Dad a wide berth. Let's just all remember why we enroll our kids in sports. It's to show them a good time. It's to instill a love of being active. It's to help them make friends and learn to collaborate with others. It's to give them the resilience they can only gain from losing a game and finding that the world doesn't end. It's for the understanding that "you can't win them all" and the sweet feeling of success when they do.

Here's to a great summer on and beside the field!

Kiss and tell

Two stories about kissing have people talking on parentcentral.ca today.

Bernard Weil/Toronto Star

The first addresses the mixed approaches to kissing our kids. On the lips or on the cheek. Who knew this was an issue? It started with New York blogger who got mixed reactions when she wrote about it in her blog. Turns out a lot of us North Americans have a pretty conservative take on what is and isn't appropriate. Check it out.

Rick Madonick/Toronto Star

The second story is about teens with severe analphylactic food allergies.

For them, the prospect of a first kiss is clouded with concern about what their boyfriend or girlfriend has just had to eat.