Parenting tip of the day: Measuring fever

Oh, what a flu season it has been so far, the usual fall colds and other school-season viruses accompanied by pandemic flu H1N1.

Today's tip comes from thermometer makers Thermor Ltd., but seems like a reasonable idea.

Since body temperature varies from person to person, get a base body temperature of everyone in your family when they're feeling well. This way you'll have a more accurate read on what defines a fever for each person, and you'll be more likely to catch on when a virus is in its most contagious stage.

(As a side note, apparently thermometer sales have been up along with sales of hand sanitizer.)

Parenting tip of the day - Make like a daycare

I arrived a few minutes early for the holiday concert at Cameron's after-school program the other day. Sitting in the Grade 1 and 2 room while we waited, again I found myself marvelling at the wisdom of early childhood educators and how much we can steal from them for our parenting.

First, there's the incredible organization of a daycare room - toys tidily sorted in labelled boxes that the children somehow obediently return to their correct places. (This, I think, is largely because the teachers insist that one activity is put away completely before another is started.)

But the thing that really makes my jaw drop about daycare? The crowd control.

Cameron's charismatic teacher, Daniella, has an incredible "call and response" thing going on with her students. If they're not quite following instructions, she shouts out in friendly sing-song, "Nobody's LIS-TEN-ING." The kids then reply, "Ooh, aah, sssshhhhhh!" complete with actions.

Getting ready to leave the room for the gym, she called out, "WHAT DO I NEED?" to which the kids responded, "A straight, quiet line." "DO I SEE ONE?" she continued. "No!"

Given my sometimes dismal ability to get the kids out the door on time, I'm thinking I need to try this. (No word yet on whether it works on spouses. If you find out, let me know.)

Parenting tip of the day: Helmets

It was the first day of "Learn to Play Hockey" at the Swansea Hockey Association in Toronto's Rennie Park this Saturday.

After bundling their 5- and 6-year-olds into a nearly impossible - and impossibly cute - amount of hockey equipment, some parents found themselves in a bind when they weren't allowed on the ice with their nervous offspring.

That's because the association doesn't allow any parents on the playing surface without helmets. Many had showed up with a pair of skates, hoping to be out there helping to pick new skaters up off the ice and otherwise assist with the cat herding. But the helmet-less were unable to go out there with their children - some who were having big first-day meltdowns.

It got me thinking about the whole "do as I say, not as I do thing," and the way we don't seem to value our own skulls the way we our those of our children.

We grew up without bike helmets and ski helmets, so it's our natural inclination to think of these things as excessive. But safety nuts that we are when it comes to our kids, we barely let them watch a hockey game without protective headgear.

The ski hill is another place of noggin-protecting inequity. I went on plenty of ski trips as a kid and never wore a helmet, but the Natasha Richardson tragedy last year really gave me pause. As a parent, I'm a little more keenly aware of the importance of staying alive, and I was saddened by her passing all the more because she'd be so missed by her kids.

Safe Kids Canada is trying to use the 2010 Winter Games to draw attention to it's safe-skiing charter, and so it's asking people to commit to wearing helmets while skiing or snowboarding.

When Cameron took some basic ski lessons two winters ago, of course helmets were essential. I don't own one, but I think that's going to change before I next head to the slopes. After all, my brain should be sharp enough to protect the skull it's in, right? (Besides, I hear that wearing a ski helmet keeps you so much warmer, particularly on wind-whipped chairlifts.)

So where's the parenting tip in all of this? I guess it's simply this: Protect yourself and improve your helmet-enforcing credibility by putting one on yourself!

Remembering my dad's parenting

Tomorrow marks the one-year anniversary of my dad's passing. It happened on a Friday night, two days after he'd collapsed in a sushi restaurant, a result of hemorrhagic stroke linked to fourth-stage lung and brain cancer. He was a non-smoker and a marathon runner. We were mystified and devastated and heartbroken.

When I came back from Calgary, my place of birth, a little more than a week after he died, the holidays were in full swing. It all seemed so crass. Strings of Christmas lights on our neighbour's houses assaulted my eyes. The holiday music in stores - not to mention the sequined party dresses - offended me deeply. But I put on my big-girl shoes and marched back to work, ever-productive first-born daughter that I am.

I shared on this blog the words I wrote for his celebration of life.

Today I'm thinking about the aspects of his parenting that I want to emulate. The way he encouraged our curiosity (see cow eyeball anecdote), answered all our questions, taught me to be brave in the dark. The way he'd walk along the top of the white wooden fence that corralled the horses and say, "Can YOU do this? Come on, try it!" The way he encouraged us to laugh without embarrassment and aspire to anything, and how he'd patiently explain our math homework. I happily remember his endurance for living-room gymnastics. The way he could recall a few lyrics from every song he'd heard (a useless but fun party trick I have somehow inherited), and how he'd sing them to make us laugh when we were taking things too seriously. The way his own parents had taught him to dance or even drink a cup of coffee (which he hated) to be polite, just because they were important social skills. His love of getting elbow-deep in chocolate cheesecake batter, or making traditional Norwegian lefsa before Christmas with his wife and four sisters.

He loved to hear about the funny things Cameron would say. He never got a chance to know Alister, now two, in his new-talking stage, but he would have adored hearing him ask about a day-time moon and say, "I go moon now?"

Maybe someday, kiddo, he would have said. Maybe someday.

Cute kid quote of the day

"I hope Santa doesn't get the H1N1." - Cameron, age six

Parenting tip of the day

This comes from psychologist and parenting author Alyson Schafer.

It's been on my mind for a few weeks since she mentioned it on Twitter.

Schafer said that children have "mirror neurons" - wee synapses in the brain that read the emotions and stresses on our faces, and sort of take them on as their own.

It's something I've been trying to think about in my interactions with the kids. I've had mixed success, of course: I don't know many things that are harder work or more patience-trying than some of those long evenings with the kids. But I've been trying to repeat the phrase "mirror neurons" in my head when I'm responding to a meltdown or a complete refusal of dinner. Sometimes those two words help me to realize my forehead is all crumpled up in consternation. Lots of times I forget and respond more emotionally than I should.

Maybe I'll write the words "mirror neurons" as a message to myself on the kitchen blackboard, next to the grocery lists and phone messages. Because it's pretty much as important as remembering to pick up a bag of milk.

Yesterday's tip.

Previous tips.

Parenting tip of the day

Picky eater? One of my boys is like that, too.

Registered nutritionist Lianne Phillipson-Webb of Sprout Right, shared a great tip when we were chatting at the Babytime show.

When you're making a fruit smoothie, try this veggie sneak: Throw in a handful of baby spinach leaves. Pulverized by your blender, the offending greens disappear, particularly with a mix of colour-rich fruits such as blueberries and raspberries.

My 2-year-old has not been noticing that his "Lightning McQueen" novelty glass contains spinach-enhanced smoothie each morning. If you're able to get your child to drink a smoothie, take advantage of the opportunity for covert nourishment!

Here are some more nutrition tips from Lianne.

Read yesterday's "tip of the day."

Not sure how to make a smoothie? Check out the Star's recipe data bank.

Please share your parenting tips and tricks by commenting on this post.

Parenting tip of the day

Here's a school-lunch cheat you might like to copy on a hurried morning.

When I'm in a local bakery, I've been grabbing a stuffed croissant as an occasional sandwich boredom buster for my son in Grade One.

It's admittedly a bit of a treat because of the high fat content (though Cameron is so skinny he has a little 6-year-old six pack), but there's goat cheese, spinach and roasted red pepper inside. Pickier eaters might prefer ham and cheese, or even the variety stuffed with a sausage, which kind of makes it like a big, portable hot dog.

I've been picking these up about once a week. The cost is around $2.50.

What are your lunch-box secrets?

Today's must reads for parents

Do you own a Maclaren stroller? If so, you need to know about a massive recall of about a million Maclaren umbrella strollers. It's kind of a gruesome story, but in the United States, 12 children have had fingers amputated after getting them stuck in the hinges of the strollers. The distributor there is offering to send parents a special hinge-pad cover to make the stroller safe. Meanwhile, Health Canada is trying to reach the manufacturer in Hong Kong to determine if the strollers sold in Canada also have the same defect. Read more to get the list of affected models, including Volo, Triumph and others.

Here are some other developing news stories parents won't want to miss:

A Catholic school board trustee is offering a "bootcamp" for new trustees to outline appropriate expensing habits, among other things. This follows a spending scandal at the Toronto Catholic School Board that involved trustees charging taxpayers for everything from Dairy Queen treats to holidays.

There are 172 Ontario schools slated for closure due to declining enrolment.Yesterday the advocacy group People for Education suggested the empty school should be used to accommodate all-day learning or turned into child and family resource centres.

Academic Pandemic: Does flu get worse on the day of the test? Education reporter Kristin Rushowy looks at whether schools are sending students home at the first sound of cough or sniffle, and whether kids are taking advantage.

In other H1N1 news, parents may be interested to learn the latest on hospital board members and other VIPs who say they are entitled to their pandemic vaccine shots before children five years of age or more. Better news, Ontario received some new swine flu vaccine yesterday, but clinics haven't been extended to any additional groups, including school-aged children. Here's where you can find the latest on vaccine clinic hours.

Downtown Toronto could become a child-free zone Developers showed up at city hall last week to oppose a regulation that would require them to make at least 10 per cent of new condo units family-sized.

A program to help young single moms graduate high school will soon be out of funding. Catherine Porter explores the unique program in her new column.

Check out our latest on the Santa Claus parade!

Parenting when you're sick

You bend over to pick up a toy, and your sinuses throb. Every 20 seconds, you cough like a 70-year-old smoker. When you kneel to zip up your kid's coat, you feel faint.

Welcome to Sick Day: the Parent Edition.

Between daycare germs and the pandemic flu year, it's hard to imagine any parent will come through this season without spending at least a few days parenting under the influence of Mr. Nasty McViruspants. More often than not, you may be looking after sick children while you struggle to resurrect your crumbling immune system.

With some sort of nasty chest cold or mild flu knocking out everyone in our house - including the caregiver - I found myself alone with my youngest coughing, feverish boy on a day I could barely get out of bed this week. When our babysitter called in sick, I wondered how I'd possible look after him.

But we made it through with cups of hot chocolate and a morning viewing of the movie "Cars."

How do you manage to look after your children when you're under the weather? Please share your tips.

Here are some pointers from the Public Health Agency of Canada on how to look after someone who has the flu.

And here's a list of frequently asked questions on the H1N1 flu, including tips for getting through this germiest of seasons.

Find everything you need to know on our H1N1 page.