Really? A ban on balls in the school yard?

Parents are scratching their heads today over the news that one Toronto elementary school has banned balls in the school yard.

Earl Beatty Public School sent a letter home to parents Monday to say that students would no longer be able to kick a soccer ball, toss a football or play any other sort of game that involves a ball.

The letter went on to explain that there have been "serious incidents" during which staff and students were hit. School trustee Sheila Cary-Meagher told the Star that one Earl Beatty parent took a ball to the head and suffered a concussion.

That's unfortunate.

But is an outright ball ban the right approach, especially when we're facing a crisis of inactivity among children? As my colleague Andrea Gordon mentioned in her latest story on children and exercise, childhood obesity has tripled in the last 30 years, and only 7 per cent of kids get the recommended hour of daily exercise.

Sure space is tight in urban school yards like the one at Earl Beatty. I have to be very cafeful to stay out of the line of fire when I pick up my youngest son from his small school yard, so I can appreciate the risk.

But that's the thing about risk. It has to be balanced against reward. And in this case the reward is just the kind of free play and exercise that today's screen-addicted kids need.

What do you think? Are there solutions the administration at Earl Beatty may not have yet explored? Is the answer better supervision in the school yard so there are some grownups to herd the junior kindergarteners out of the way of kids twice their size playing soccer? How about a sign at the yard gate to remind parents to beware of flying objects?

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Getting organized to welcome the school year

In just over a week, another school year will be underway. Will you be greeting it with happiness or dread?

It's hard to see the short summer season come to an end, but a lot of the parents I talk to will be welcoming the return to routine.

For those who work outside of the home, there's an enormous gap between the two months of summer holidays our kids get and the one or two weeks of vacation we have available to take care of them. Stay-at-home parents may feel they're running out of ways to entertain the kids by now, nevermind the budget for all those enriching camps and lessons. And for those in the middle trying to work from home, a dirth of childcare may have left them dreadfully behind on business tasks or burnt out from clocking late hours at the computer after the kids are in bed.

While I'd like a few more idyllic weekend outings with my kids, I have to admit that I'm among those who are looking forward to fall. I hate to say it because I adore summer trips to the beach and picnics and all that stuff. But my life as a parent who works full time isn't set up to allow for as many of these as I'd like. By the time mid-August hits, my career-mom guilt is at an apex.

So I like to focus on the awesome aspects of September, and enjoy preparing for the new school year.

I was inspired by the women I interviewed for today's story on getting organized for a great September transition.

I couldn't fit absolutely all of their great advice in the article so I thought I'd share here a few extra nuggets of wisdom that have really stuck with me.

IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING ORGANIZED SO EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD

The enviably organized Stacy Crew, who quite literally wrote the book on being an Organized Mom, made this very good point.

"Getting organized is about so much more than having a house that looks like it belongs in a Pottery Barn catalogue. It’s about creating a lifestyle that allows your family to enjoy time together. If I’m sitting there trying to connect with my kids but I realize that I’ve got four loads of laundry to fold and dishes in the sink and blog entries to write, I’m really not going to be in the moment."

And this one:

"It's about simplifying and looking at the big picture. What life do I want for my family? What goals do we have as a unit? If it's to be doing every sporting activity out there, so be it, but a lot of families don't know why they're doing what they're doing."

YOUR KIDS CAN DO MORE

Family life coach Laurel Crossley, otherwise known as OptiMom, is a big proponent of not doing everything for our kids, but instead, empowering them to do things for themselves:

"Kids would like to be part of the process and most of us do everything for them except for maybe asking, 'What colour would you like?' My kids are extremely independent. I did that knowing they are going to have to go out in this world and do things on their own. They need to know how to do laundry, wash floors and get themselves a snack."

Your kids might not be ready to mop the floors just yet, but perhaps they could get their shoes on without your help. Bonus: It'll save your back.

YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S FOR DINNER

Lindsay Harris, a busy mompreneur whose business Glow Baby helps other parents keep organized, emphasized just how stressful things can be when you don't know what's for dinner - particularly on school nights.

Our interview left me determined to be sure my on-again, off-again menu planning was 100 per cent on for the start of the school year. So this weekend I began to scratch out a plan for dinners the first two weeks of school. My plan is to repeat this two-week menu for the second part of September and then start fresh in October with new dinner ideas.

Tonight I'll remember to bring her Glow Baby Menu Planner home from the office and start using it for planning menus and making grocery lists.

After immersing myself in all things back-to-school these last few weeks, I've got to say that I think my time will be better spent on organizational tasks like stocking the pantry and freezer and decluttering the hats and backpacks by the front door, rather than on acquiring absolutely every bit of gear the kids will need for the whole school year. Winter boots can wait a few weeks.

Please check out our back-to-school page for more great ideas!

 

 

 

 

 

Our sneak peek at the new Lego Store

When I told my son Cameron, 7, that we would be visiting the new Lego Store in Sherway Gardens the day before the Grand Opening, and that (gasp! Call Children's Aid!) I'd be taking him out of school for this, his response was, "I think I'm going to faint."

As some of you know, my boys are NUTS about Lego. They play with it every day, put Lego on their wish lists for each gift-giving occasion, read Lego magazine, visit Lego.com and count their allowance in anticipation of what they might be able to buy. Cameron even had a Lego-themed birthday party.

So naturally, yesterday's outing blew his mind.

The moment we arrived at the store he clapped eyes on the Star Wars Death Star model - a coveted collector's item - in the shop's gallery window. (You can also get a good look at the impressive Tower Bridge set there.)

"I'm Brandie Weikle" I said to the Lego staffers who showed us around. Cam echoed "and I'm in Lego heaven."

 

One of the highlights was this amazing set-up where fans can assemble their own Lego guys.

 

 Cam had a great time with that. SO many smiles on this outing.

 At the "Master Builder Bar" kids can follow instructions to build Lego models using the bricks in the middle of the table, or play games online, as Cameron is doing here.

Immensely popular with the truly commited Adult Fans of Lego (AFOL), the "Pick-a-Brick" wall offers an ever-changing combination of bricks in various sizes and colours, perfect for creative types inventing their own Lego models.

Speaking of creativity, one of my favourite parts was staring into these display cases to see models put together by talented builders who aren't even Lego staff - just fans happy to share. This theatre, complete with skeleton under the stage, is great...

...as is this circus scene.

As we pulled out of the parking lot after our visit was done, Cameron said "My favourite part was just walking around, seeing what they had and being AMAZED at what they had."

If you haven't had a chance to check out my story on the Lego store opening, you may not know that the grand opening runs Friday from 11-7, and Saturday and Sunday from 10-6. A highlight will be the construction of an eight-foot R2D2 in Sherway Garden's central square.

I also wanted to share that I was helped with this story by Phil Fraboni, an adult fan of Lego who plans to be at the opening on Sunday. Fraboni has been playing with Lego since he was a wee boy. His collecting passion today is Star Wars Lego, of which he was around 50 sets. 

Here he is showing off some of his assembled Star Wars kits. So dedicated is Fraboni to both Lego and Star Wars that this weekend will also see him trooping with the 501st Legion Canadian Garrison in London dressed in Star Wars: The Clone Wars Captain Rex armour.

His mother is a much better Lego mom than I am. She saved all of his sets from childhood INCLUDING THE INSTRUCTIONS! Fraboni plans to put these all together once he has the display space!

You can follow Phil Fraboni on twitter at twitter.com/hamcam.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Push-ups for 7-year-olds?!!

I was pretty flat-chested at 13. At that age I was in a minor panic that I'd NEVER sprout breasts and that I'd continue making walls jealous for years to come.

But I sure didn't care when I was seven.

I've got a lot more to stay about girls and esteem in an upcoming blog post, but a story we have today just begs for comment.

Ever-spotlight-grabbing Abercrombie & Fitch's latest move is to market a padded bikini top to girls 7 to 13.

This follows the company famously selling sexy T-shirts that say "Who needs brains when you have these?"

I hope the group of spunky kids who launched a "girlcott" against the company get a groundswell (no pun intended) of support.

As moms, let's just remove the store from our list of back-to-school shops until they do better.

READ MORE ABOUT THE PADDED BIKINIS HERE.

READ ABOUT MORE THINGS THAT HAVE PARENTS TALKING IN THE MUMMY BUZZ BY ERICA EHM.

 

 

First day of school for a "Grade 2-er"

I wasn't as organized this Labour Day weekend as I like to be, so there was no big back-to-school bash, or ritual chocolate-chip pancake breakfast as in years past.

But my boys seemed content with our low-key lead-in to the new school year. I took each of them on separate outings to the little neighbourhood stationary store, Alister to pick out his first pencil case for Montessori school (he starts next week) and Cameron for some new pencils, sharpener and glue stick to put in his. Alister's Saturday day jaunt ended with a custom cookie from Sweet Flour, and Cameron's Monday trip at Baskin-Robbins. (Obviously this plan wasn't so great for my waistline.)

More important than acquiring this stuff, though, was talking to the boys about the changes ahead. Wee Alister needed to know he's got to say goodbye at the cloakroom door and put on his own indoor shoes, and that the soother will have to say behind (I know, I know, I just haven't had time to help him kick his baby habits). Cameron needed to explain that, "To me, I don't look like a Grade 2-er," and be reassured that he has grown and is indeed tall enough for second grade. And that surely some of his friends will be in his class. And that he'll make new friends from among the others.

Here's how his first day went:

Cameron can't stand to be late. This is him closing his backpack with enough vigor that I couldn't get a clear shot.

Then he explained school supplies to his little brother.

Since Cameron has walked to school with his buddy, Kieran, from across the street, since Junior Kindergarten, we actually now have four of these first-day-of-school shots of the two of them.

It's always a big help to connect with best friends on the playground, "and maybe figure out where we're gonna meet at recess."

 

Then it was time to say goodbyes...

...and head in!

And that was it! Suppose he's old hat at this back-to-school thing.

There's a lot of education news today:

Battle lines drawn on full-day kindergarten

Full-day kindergarten kicks off in Ontario

Forget what you know about good study habits

StatsCan finds 1 in 5 older teens drops out of school

How to talk to kids about back-to-school fears, concerns

In defence of sex ed

All kinds of people are freaking out about the proposed changes to sex education in Ontario.

While I don't yet have the kind of detail on the curriculum that I'd like, I do want to point out where I think some individuals and organization are making inflammatory and incorrect assumptions about the spirit, tone and intention of this sort of education.

We've learned that kids will be discussing homosexuality in Grade 3.

It's 2010. Don't a lot of our kids already have someone in their class who has two moms or two dads? That certainly applies for my son, Cameron. He's in Grade 1. He's known a lovely two-mom family since he was in daycare, and happily accepted an explanation that some people pick as their special person a member of the opposite sex and some people pick someone of their own gender.

For the sake not just of combating homophobia but of normalizing the experiences of school children who have same-sex parents, it's very worthwhile to discuss sexual orientation at an early age. Equally important: Getting the message to kids who may already be sensing some sort of "difference" in themselves compared to others, that they are OK no matter who they have a crush on.

What troubles me is the assumption that talking about sexual orientation is tantamount to recruitment to the gay cause. That's just backward.

Certainly one's religious and cultural values give shape to views on this and other aspects of sexual education. Critics say it is up to families to address sexuality with their children in a way that's in line with the their values.

But here's the thing. They don't.

Or if they do, they're not terribly successful at arming kids with the information they need to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Or to delay sexual activities for which that they don't yet have the maturity to cope.

And that brings me to one of the other contentious points in Ontario premier Dalton McGuinty's proposed new sex ed program: discussion of oral sex as early as Grade 7.

There's a reason why oral sex is being called "the new goodnight kiss." Star reporter Trish Crawford explained how normalized it's become in a story called "Oral sex no longer a big deal, teen girls say."

By Grade 9 one third of Canadian teenagers are having oral sex. That's a fact and remains so whether or not we're too squeamish or scandalized to discuss it. If we want kids to delay this activity instead of engage in it, um, willy nilly, maybe we'd be better off explaining that you can get yucky sores in your mouth - and much worse - if you're not taking proper precautions. Or if you're trading sexual favours with schoolmates like they were Pizza Pockets.

It's important to look at the context in which kids will be hearing about oral sex. According to a story we had last night, Grade 7 kids will be learning about "delaying sexual activity, sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy and STI prevention."

Did you see the first thing? "Delaying sexual activity." The intent here is not to provide some sort of instructional how-to for kids who would otherwise know nothing about sex. It's about getting kids who are already engaged in risky behaviour - or will be soon enough - to be smarter about it.

This subject has prompted some discussion around the office. One colleague mentioned that when she was going to school in Nova Scotia, sex ed didn't start until junior high. "Two of my classmates had babies that year."

A little late, maybe?

More on this subject:

Changes to sex-ed curriculum raise ire of family groups

McGuinty wants sex ed to start in Grade 3

Oral sex no longer a big deal

Family Literacy Day and Wicked Wednesdays

In case you missed it during all of today's Apple-related madness, it is Family Literacy Day.

The event is run by ABC Literacy Canada, and the idea is to "encourage families to read and learn together."

I agree wholeheartedly with the folks at ABC that literacy is about more than just reading books. You can encourage literacy by doing all sorts of things, including following a recipe. I love the way we can organically learn about fractions through baking, too. (I know, that was my nerdy schoolmarm moment of the day.)

Not sure how to mark the occasion? Here's a list of fun activities. Or find a Family Literacy Day activity in your area.

I think my favourite Literacy Day initiative might just be the Munsch at Home contest. Families submitted their own Munsch-inspired stories for a chance to be published with a real-deal Michael Martchenko illustration, and to win personal visits from Munsch both at their home and in their neighbourhood school.

We've got the winning story here.

ABC has all the finalists here.

We weren't really trying to mark the occasion, but I guess we started our Family Literacy Day with a pre-breakfast reading of Captain Underpants. After school today, our caregiver will be cajoling lovingly encouraging Cameron through a couple of pages of homework (due tomorrow). That counts, right? And we'll be reading our routine bedtime stories, likely including favourites by Mo Willems or Oliver Jeffers.

On a slightly different but related topic, I've been noticing a pattern of badness on Wednesdays (not every Wednesday is chock full of Family Literacy Day fun).

I don't mean to suggest that my boys are being "bad" on Wednesdays - it's more that we're all hitting a bump of midweek fatigue that leads to tears on Wednesdays evenings.

The kids even cry sometimes, too.

But seriously, we've all been through quite a bit of school- and work-week busyness by Wednesdays, when the weekend still feels quite a way off. Sitting on the bunkbeds last week, Cam drying tears about something I can no longer recall, I proposed that we start a new Wednesday tradition called "Wicked Wednesdays." (We're predictably alliterative about these things, having already had "Friday Fun" in place for a while.)

We've had stomach flu ripping through our house this week, so I'll be happy if we can mark our inaugural Wicked Wednesday with a minimum of vomit. However, the "deal" is that if the kids already have their pajamas on WHEN I GET HOME AT 5:30, we can have a movie night and a "snacky dinner" in the living room. For some reason, this break in routine has the kids pretty excited.

I'm all about parenting by gimmick if it makes the evening a little more fun and bedtime come a little sooner.

So in between our Family Literacy Day reading, we'll be taking a brief (90 minute) break to watch a movie. I won't give away what it will be other than to say it will likely be part of a series that rhymes with Czar Pores.

If you're also looking for a way to get through Wednesday, I hope you just might find a little help in the Munsch stories, or copy our lower-brow movie plan.

Never underestimate the power of a group of moms with cupcakes

Like many parents, when Susana Molinolo first heard the news of Haiti's devastating earthquake, she could barely comprehend the destruction or stand to see the images on television and in the newspapers.

Almost immediately, though, the co-chair of Bowmore Public School's parent council felt that some sort of school fundraiser was needed, so she contacted fellow parent council mom Nancy Botelho for support. Remembering the brisk cupcakes sales at the school's winter concert, they quickly settled on the simple concept "Cupcakes for Haiti."

Really, this blog post should be entitled "Never underestimate the power of a group of social-media savvy moms with cupcakes." Because when Susana emailed Rachel Muir, senior designer at Top Drawer Creative, she had a poster back within an hour that was soon used to replace profile pics on Twitter and Facebook, helping the event go viral.

Meanwhile, Susana had started emailing other Bowmore parents, former colleagues, neighbours, etc. asking for support and for bakers to come forward. Late last week a colourful array of cupcakes were piling up at Susana's home. On Saturday, at the sale outside the house she shares with husband Brian Gahan and their 3- and 5-year-olds, people purchased cupcakes for prices ranging from $2 a piece to (wait for it...) $437.50. (The high-priced cupcakes were part of a box from Desmond and Beatrice that was auctioned.)

The event has raised $9800 for Medecins sans Frontieres, and that donation will be matched by the Canadian International Development Agency. Some funds are still trickling in, and all in all Molinolo estimates this bake sale will likely raise a total of $20,000.

Here's how one friend Russell Gienapp described the event:

On one small patch of front lawn in the east end of Toronto, on a chilly Saturday, $9800 was raised for Haiti relief. What Susana Molinolo sold were just cupcakes (don't get me wrong they were yummy). What the people who bought them ate was a symbol of community building and the ability of people to come together for a... much-needed cause without a lot of glitzy pomp. Simple, effective and every neighborhood could do something like this.

To see more pics from Cupcakes for Haiti, check out Susana's twitter feed. She's also written about the event on her blog.

Susana and her volunteers exemplify the difference a group of motivated people can make with simple actions and a lot of heart.

Copy this concept!

What's really making our kids fat?

The Ontario government has announced a ban on sales of pop and other junk food, as well as unhealthy lunch meals, at schools starting in the fall of 2011.

I think it's an important and logical step in the sluggish efforts to combat astonishingly prevalent obesity among children and adults. Surely in our educational institutions we should be setting a good example, right?

But I got some feedback on Twitter this weekend that got me thinking a little differently about where the problem really lies.

I haven't had a chance to verify this, but one person said that it's schools in affluent areas that sell the most junk from vending machines and unhealthy cafeterias, and yet it's not those kids who are obese. It's the kids who eat junky foods because their parents can't afford anything better who get fat, and it's not because they're buying pop at school, she said.

Of course it's not news to any of us that there's a link between poverty and obesity. That's why community gardening programs and others that help put healthy foods in the hands of people with lesser means have been so successful.

It was on my mind Sunday when I hauled home a huge bag of winter vegetables - carrots, parsnips, potatoes, turnip, beets, bok choy, onions, ginger, garlic. The cost - $16.10.

I was talking about the affordability and nutritional density of these mostly root veggies with the boys' father, and he challenged me to better understand the way my own education and good fortune arm me with the knowledge required to turn these cheap veggies into parsnip-potato pancakes, turnip-carrot-parsnip-apple soup, mashed yukon gold potatoes with horseradish, and pan-seared bok choy with ginger. (And that's just this weekend - my crisper is still full.) 

I'm not working a second job. I know I'm fortunate to have the time to make these foods for my family. But the extent to which it may be a mystery to others how to plan and prepare healthy meals is something I hadn't considered fully. In future, I hope to better explore the initiatives and policies that really would help Canadian kids maintain healthy body mass, and would love to hear your thoughts.

What kind of healthy-eating programs would make a meaningful difference?

Parenting tip of the day - Make like a daycare

I arrived a few minutes early for the holiday concert at Cameron's after-school program the other day. Sitting in the Grade 1 and 2 room while we waited, again I found myself marvelling at the wisdom of early childhood educators and how much we can steal from them for our parenting.

First, there's the incredible organization of a daycare room - toys tidily sorted in labelled boxes that the children somehow obediently return to their correct places. (This, I think, is largely because the teachers insist that one activity is put away completely before another is started.)

But the thing that really makes my jaw drop about daycare? The crowd control.

Cameron's charismatic teacher, Daniella, has an incredible "call and response" thing going on with her students. If they're not quite following instructions, she shouts out in friendly sing-song, "Nobody's LIS-TEN-ING." The kids then reply, "Ooh, aah, sssshhhhhh!" complete with actions.

Getting ready to leave the room for the gym, she called out, "WHAT DO I NEED?" to which the kids responded, "A straight, quiet line." "DO I SEE ONE?" she continued. "No!"

Given my sometimes dismal ability to get the kids out the door on time, I'm thinking I need to try this. (No word yet on whether it works on spouses. If you find out, let me know.)