Life A.L (after Lentil).

Even though I haven't been drinking this holiday season my friends tell me I'm more delusional than ever.

Their comments stem from comments I've been making, such as:

My child will sleep through the night at three months old. My kid's feet will certainly touch the ground and be brushed by the arms of other people, not just its parents' and I'll be tough (I swear, I will) when little kicky gets older and tries to manipulate me with its cute lamblike-cries. I won't be one of those parents who spoils him or her rotten.

"Okay, whatever you say Michele," my friend Lindsay said earlier this week, wearing an enormous poo-eating grin. "Just wait sweetheart."

Just wait. That's what I'm doing. And in the meantime, I'm creating a whole set of apparently unattainable goals for myself and my child. This, after I threw a tantrum in the foyer of a gym last week when my husband Ted suggested I might want to join that facility, which has lots of mom and tot programs.

The thought of how different life will be P.L (post Lentil) made me nervous, which made me emotional, which made me irrational, which made me throw a tantrum.

On an intellectual level, I can grasp that life as I know it now - and have crafted for 32 years - will take a 180 degree turn. But, I still can't get the notion straight in my head. 

For all my grand ideas, I have no idea what awaits me on the other side - no matter how many times I stare at the pages of the Happiest Baby on the Block. 

To add a note of levity to our lives, my husband has taken to being silly.

"Okay," he said, befpre leaving for work one morning this week. "I will play the role of the baby. For instance, practice burping me."

For as long as I could stand it, he stood there making meek crying noises and flailing his arms.

"Stop it," I finally said. "No." 

And so I'm still left waiting. But even though I'm no closer to figuring out what reality will look like in just over three months, I am sure I'm not the only one who is delusional. 

Comments

[reb]

Just a note:)
My first baby actually did sleep all night through -- she started doing so at 7 days (yes DAYS) old! This sleeping all night coincided with her getting colic -- where for four months pretty much to the day, she cried all day, every day, but slept all night. Despite all sorts of remedies and even physician intervention, the colic resolved in it's own good time, around Christmas day (when she turned four months old) ---- BUT she kept sleeping all night even when it was over :) :)
P.S. What a great Christmas present, don't you think?!

[Karen]

Your husband is great....I can just see him trying to play baby! The description just made me laugh. Yes, taking home your baby can be intimidating. My friend told me she and her husband thought the doctor and nurse were freaking insane when they told them they could go from the hospital with their new baby...didn't they know that she and her husband had no idea what they were doing?? When my ob told me she was ready to discharge me a day early, I called all my friends with babies and begged them to come home with us to show us what to do! You know what...you just do it, sometimes you make mistakes and luckily you and your husband will be able to laugh about it all later.