Tummy Touching - fine! go ahead!

The first thing I ever wanted to do (before I went and got all knocked up, of course) when I saw a pregnant woman was touch her stomach.

So it seems perfectly natural to me that people want to put their hands on my bump (this sounds dirtier than intended!).

But since "belly touching" seems to have become a societal no-no lately, with words like "unwanted" and "invasion of privacy" used to describe the popular practice of pregnant tummy patting, my friends seem scared or nervous to come near me.

Sometimes, their hands start to lunge for my belly, but they stop themselves.

"Oh sorry," they say. "Uhm, can I touch."

"Yeah, sure, why not?" I return.

True - I wouldn't want strangers off the street trying to grope me. I've never been into that. But, no one entirely random has tried to come near me or the Lentil yet, so like an animal that's never been threatened by human contact before, I'm open to the tummy touching.

So far I find it cute and friendly. Hardly threatening.

It does make me feel a bit like a toy, however, but part of being pregnant, I think, is realizing my body is not entirely my own. Or, at least, not entirely under my control.

In essence, I am sort of a playground for the Lentil!

So, if other people can derive a little bit of happiness from my stomach (and often it makes me feel less turkey-like when they express an interest in being near my tummy) they why not!

Pat away, I say! 

Comments

[REL]

Yes! This is how I felt about it; a pregnant tummy evokes a sort of primal need to rub the baby. I actually LIKED when people patted my tummy. Like you, it was almost always acquaintances, never strangers on the subway, but I never understood this "Get your hands off or I will REMOVE them!" message.

[Prego]

I do agree that it is nice to have friends and family touch your belly. It makes you feel like an important person.

But also consider these points. With the holiday season comes lots of Christmas cheer and some consume more than others. As I experienced at a few xmas parties the touching was alittle to often and too long.

Secondly, call me a baby hog but, I think of my baby as all mine right now. I feel her and she feels me and I know I only have 8 weeks left. Then I have to share her with everyone else.

[maritimegypsy]

My friend is nearing her 13th week and I have been reading along with you to get mentally prepped to be the non preggers BFF support line. I have been reading like a fiend and your blog and articles have helped me immensely!

KP has told me she's not into anyone but family and close friends touch her tummy... but may invoke the 'you can touch mine if I can touch yours' if coworkers attempt to molest her or "Pringles" (our code word even though she's sure it's just one... "once you pop...")

and I regularly accost the prego intake worker at my job... she's so cute with her belly its hard not to touch. I told her to be a 'pumpkin smuggler' for Halloween.... and that I should get her a T Shirt that reads 'all I want for Christmas is to see my feet'

[DianaBanana]

I would not want/enjoy someone I didn't know touching my stomach. I've certainly never had the 'primal urge' to rub a pregnant belly.

It may just boil down to the fact that I prefer to have the control over whether or not it happens. If a stranger comes up and grabs me I'm likely to flip on them. If someone asks I'm sure I'd say yes, but I certainly wouldn't enjoy it. The urge to touch any of my friends or families pregnant stomachs have never occured to me and that's probably a reflection on my view of that it's a private situation between the baby and the mother and not something other people should go around groping.

In the end if a women is comfortable with it happening then that's fine. However for those of us who actively dislike it then strangers need to respect that and ask first. Whether we allow or refuse it should be completely up to us to decide without getting flack from the asker if we say no. It's not their baby, it's not their stomach and it's not public property. End of story.

[Dana]

I don't mind when friends and family ask if they can touch. However, my Aunt leaned in for a feel when i was 6 weeks pregnant and I did not like it. First, she didn't ask. Second, I was 6 weeks pregnant and there was nothing to feel.

I had this again yesterday when a woman my dad works with went in without asking. I turned away, removed her hand and told her that I didn't like it. I see this woman maybe once or twice a year.