I guess we'll just fight it out

Next week my husband and I start prenatal classes and I'm already gearing up - mainly gathering the strength - to handle the debates that will undoubtedly erupt between us over the lessons.

At the best of times my husband and I love to tussle. About everything from which route to take home from my parent's house, to what colour the sky was yesterday, we're an argumentative couple.

Normally I don't mind.

But I'm not looking forward to arguing over whether to cover our newborn with a blanket or a grow bag and any other topic that might make us nervous when handling our child.

True, I don't know exactly what will be covered in the classes, but I suspect those teaching will use fear and shame to convince us, say, never to use bumper pads or lie our baby on its stomach.

And I'm sure a doting nurse will warn us that we're headed for the Bad Parents Hall of Fame if we don't breastfeed. We're planning on it, but I refuse to feel bad about myself if I just can't. I've seen so many friends frightened by public health messages, especially that one, only to feel like failures when they can't abide by "the rules."

I won't get bullied. But I worry about Ted.

So eager to do right by our pending bundle of joy, he may get, well... totally neurotic (more than me!) and insist we bend over backwards to do everything exactly "right."

I don't know if I can deal with that. Already we're debating whether or not we'll "let" our child sleep through the night before three months (like he or she is going to give us a choice) and whether we subscribe to the theory posited by The Happiest Baby on the Block."

I can't lie. I've been devising ways to get him to stay home - but planning a sporting event he may want to attend next Thursday night (and for the six weeks after that) is proving difficult.

"Oh fine," I recently told him, "I give up. I know you're going to come, aren't you?"

"Yes," he said. "I'm excited."

Fine. I guess he should have some say in this whole parenting thing.

So let the arguments begin!

I can weather these

Comments

[roxyg]

with regards to the prenatal class, bullying and fear tactics aren't used. Well they weren't in the ones that i took. I found that they provided a lot of helpful tips and places to get information. My husband and i are taking the classes at credit valley hospital. There is even a special brest feeding course. It was really good.

I have to admit that half way through one of the classes i had to leave and splash some water on my face. The classes are a reminder that yes you will give birth.

[keebler123]

This morning my husband sent me a link to an article written in Parent Central about babies and their exposure to TV. The article points to new research that TV is over stimulating for babies and may account for the increase in recent years of ADHD. I am responding here becuase I am sure my husband and I will be debating this one over dinner as we have a 7 month old and I allowed him to watch a 10 minute Treehouse program last night - ironically when he was overstimulated by toys, close to bedtime and nothing was settling him.

I think many things can be overstimulating, not just TV. The key is to watch with your child, and select the program, and not rely on it as a babysitter. I have found some Baby Einstein DVDs to have a soothing effect on my son because of the classical music. I think there was just as much ADHD when we were kids - they just didn't diagnose it as such. As an Early Childhood Educator and teacher, I think it is generally a best practice not to let your children watch very much TV but a little in moderation with a watchful parent is just fine, and in the case of our son last night, quite helpful actually.

[betty24twelve]

Er... good luck with that. If you're arguing about stuff now, it isn't going to get any better when the baby comes. There's a natural imbalance of responsibility that comes with having kids - you *will* end up doing more baby maintenance than your husband, and you might start to resent the arguing.

In our house, having a baby just magnified our natural inclination to argue until we both got into a position of feeling like the other party didn't understand anything. We're divorced now.

Just sayin'.