Nature - can you hear me?

Nature works in strange ways.

All at once it's very clever and quite amazing the way it can fashion an entire human being out of left over macaroni. But it's also baffling.

For instance, shouldn't it know that since my body will suffer from a chronic and dizzying lack of sleep in three months, that I should probably rack up as many shut eye hours as possible, right now??

Progressively over the last few weeks, sleep has become more and more of a fleeting commodity.

Where, since the start of this pregnancy, I would pass out on my pillow at 10 p.m. (or earlier) and wake up at 7:30 a.m. (or much later), I am now lucky if I can stay asleep until 4 in the morning.

From there, its a fidgety, half in, half out slumber or a restless awakeness for the rest of the night, where I try to convince kicky the fetus, sometimes out loud, to stop sitting on my bladder, please get off my lungs, and quit running through my mind, so I can please, please have enough stamina to function at work!

And the dreams are preposterous! 

My mind usually gets snared by some nightmare - that I've got a baby but can never remember to feed it. Or, the newborn eats so much that I can't keep up and it grows taller than me by the time it's nine months (I'm pretty short, so that may actually happen). 

Or, I've left my house, but forgotten my kid! Or, I get eaten by Jack McBrayer - the comedian who plays an NBC page on Tina Fey's 30 Rock.... but that's an entirely different story. 

Please tell me I'm not crazy?! Actually, if I am crazy, I may not want to know.

People tell me that frequent nighttime waking can be nature's way of preparing the pregnant for the many millions of sleepless nights to come. 

However, I'd prefer to get a good night's rest now and bank some energy for when I'll need it most. 

Hey nature - can't I just have that? 

You won't let me sleep on my stomach anymore. Lying on my back stops my breathing. And, if the body pillow weren't in existence I wouldn't know what to do with myself at all.

Give me this one thing? Please? Are you listening??

Something tells me my complaints are falling on deaf ears.

Comments

[MrsK]

I have recently entered the world of no sleep as well. And to all the wonderfuly witty people who say "lack of sleep now is nature's way of preparing you for a newborn"... thanks but no thanks.
Why am I wide awake at 4am and could sleep through an earthquake at 2pm?
PS: Body pillows don't work, they just make you sweat. Isn't pregnancy sexy?