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Potty Mouth Mom


  • Three years ago Michele Henry took you through her most challenging assignment to date: pregnancy. Tag along again as this new mom of two navigates a second maternity leave, juggling endless diaper changes and sleepless night with her efforts to lose the baby weight — again — and hang onto her sanity.

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February 19, 2009

Ah! I lost my feet!

It's official!


My stomach has finally eclipsed my feet! 

Bending down has become impossible. And when I tried - in vain - to shave my legs in the shower a few days ago, I unwittingly cut myself. I fell on the razor while trying to reach my calf, but didn't notice for a half hour (I screamed when I saw blood on the towel and didn't calm down until I found the source two whole minutes later).

Put on stockings? Can I hire someone to get me dressed in the morning?

Just like in the first trimester - when the fatigue and nausea were debilitating - being pregnant has once again taken a turn for the difficult-to-live-through.

And my body just won't listen to reason.

"Come on! Let me sit in that bucket seat! Please just for one night, let me sleep on my back! I promise to buy you nice clothes once the baby takes up residence somewhere else!!"

My pleas fall on deaf ears. My deaf ears!!!

To add insult to injury, the fetus feels enormous and my stomach now lurches from side to side as it moves. I see tiny feet pushing through my skin. And it hurts!!

Why must tiny fetuses torture women so?




  

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My sister-in-law had a theory about the last few weeks of pregnancy. She always said the being unable to sit, stand, walk or even breath comfortably was so we would no longer worry about the actual birth. By the time of the actual birth you no longer care what you have to go through - you just want the whole thing to be OVER! Two kids later, I am sure she is right!

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