Is this a Jewish thing?

Tell me other people feel this way - please.

To get the baby's room ready, we had to recarpet, repaint and put in new lights. The previous owners of our home left it in pretty bad shape. 

But now it looks great even without any furniture.  A small pile of "things" we've accumulated so far sits in the middle of the room. There's a heap of second-hand plush and squeaky toys.  A stack of one-month sized onesies in plain unisex white. About 12 thick cardboard babybooks. And a blue stuffed octapus that calls out Spanish words when you squeeze any one of its tentacles. 

Sometimes when I'm alone in the house I flick on the lights in the room and just sit there on the carpet. 

If I'm feeling inspired I'll pick up a onesie and marvel at how in less than two months I'll be fastening its tiny snaps around the legs of a wriggly infant. 

And that amazes me. 

Then I get nervous and walk out of the room and shut the door behind me. Maybe it's me, but I'm scared to get too excited about the reality of what's to come before it actually gets here.

Many of my friends have refused to set up the baby's room at all before they've given birth. And among my closest peer group we all reject pre-birth showers. It's bad luck, we think. 

Instead, we throw post-natal parties. 

Maybe it's just a Jewish thing, but once the crib arrives I may have to cover it with a big sheet to be lifted off by my husband only right before we bring the baby home.

Is this superstition mine alone?

Comments

[AK]

I'm a Hindu and while we don't have any specific crib related customs we definitely see planning ahead for the baby as bad luck. We are not supposed to pick a baby name or even discuss baby names until the baby is born (there's a naming ceremony on the 31st day after birth where the baby finally gets a name). Ditto for buying baby cloths, toys, furniture etc. I suppose this is to avoid the parents any pain in case something goes wrong. Personally I don't follow it (neither do my other Hindu friends). We've held baby showers, picked names, etc. ahead of birth, but my parents' generation certainly does not approve. I guess as times change, we get less superstitious :)

[Alanna]

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[T. Quist]

I think the superstition card falls on both side of the cultural wagon. I am due around the same time as yourself, as are several of my friends and there are definitely patterns of similiarity amongst certain cultures in terms of "preparing for baby". Personally I cannot imagine not having the baby's room complete, and all 0-3 month clothing washed and hung - but that's just me. That being said, my husband and I have a list of names deemed Classified Until Birth - but mainly because we want to avoid the volunteered stories about how soinso knew someone by that name a hundred years ago and s/he ended up being a serial killer or something equally as irrelevant. :o)

[Chantelle]

I'm Jewish, my DH is not, and the one of the hardest customs for me to get used to has been the pre-birth shower. It's not just "supersticious" but practical. My twins were born 12 weeks premature. One came home a full month before the other. Instead of yet another set of onesies (which wouldn't have fit anyway) we asked for help with food for the adults, babysitting (DH worked, and I split my time between babies), and house cleaning during the chaotic weeks of late nights at the hospital and chauffeuring back and forth. One kind soul actually paid for parking at the hospital for a week. By celebrating the birth after it has happened you can make sure you give just the right gift to meet the true need.

[Mike]

Yes, you are wierd. And, you will regret it. You will have NO time after the baby is born to do any type of shopping... TRUST ME. We just had a baby in December and the best thing possible is to be prepared because it will help tremendously. You will NOT feel like throwing a "post natal" party for a a few months at least and by then it will be anti-climatic to throw a shower at that point.

[Cynthia]

I'm not sure what I'd ever do. Naming a child or having a pre-birth baby shower isn't considered "traditional" in Chinese culture, but I was raised in a very Anglo environment. However, our multicultural society has decided that people are supposed to keep their old country cultures, so I'm not sure what people will do for me. Out of "respect," they might not throw me a shower, but in reality, they might not be showing any "respect" at all. And I can't throw myself one, because it isn't polite either!

[Elena]

I don't think so. In Denmark, a small nation of pragmatic protestants, it means bad luck to bring the stroller or the crib into the house before the baby. Popular belief is that you may jinx the birth.

Many couples order their stroller to be ready for pick up after the due date or have it stored with friends or family.

Also it is considered in bad taste to give gifts to the unborn child so Danes do not have baby showers. The gifts are sent either to the hospital or home after delivery.

[Liane]

I was always terribly uneasy about purchasing baby things pre-birth or accepting gifts, hence no shower. (Yes, I am Jewish too.) However, my husband was so excited about being told that we're expecting, he bought a stroller when I was only 4 weeks along with our 1st! (We put it into the storage closet, still packed in the box.) At 37 weeks, I realized that we wouldn't be able to bring the baby home without a car seat, so that got installed. I also ran out and bought a few basics, but left all the tags on and asked my mom to wash the clothes and bring them to hospital once the baby arrived safely. Neurotic? May be. I'm blessed with 2 boys now, but I did lose a 'middle baby' early in pregnancy, so not all superstition is unreasonable.

[SJ]

I have to agree. I had two stillbirths, one at 6 months, the other at 5 1/2 months. During my first pregnancy I did plan to get the room ready, however was waiting to find out the sex of the baby. I am SO THANKFUL that I didn't purchase anything. It was hard enough losing my children, but it would have been harder to come home to their rooms ready. I am currently pregnant for a third time (fingers crossed that third time is a charm). Although I will likely pick out items once I have passed 7 months, nothing will be purchased until after the baby is born.
And for the person who said you were weird.. i can also tell them that my cousin had a baby 4 weeks pre-mature and hadn't had time to buy anything yet, but she managed just fine!