As your mother I command you to be born on your due date!
My lungs still feel squeezed for air. My stomach still can't accommodate much food. My belly doesn't really look any different (just bigger, mind you. A lot bigger).
But all of a sudden it feels like the baby's head is bobbing up and down on my bladder!
Does that mean I've gone through lightening?? Has the baby begun its descent?Or am I just inching closer to the end, which is still four weeks away?
It is so hard to judge the signs of labour - especially when a total lack of experience with this whole birth thing makes you nuts every time you have a "symptom." Rather, every time you THINK you have a symptom.
"I just had back pain," I'll say to myself, speaking loudly while alone in my office. "Nope. Nope. It's just from sitting in a weird position. Oh right, and I'm wearing heels. That was dumb of me."
No matter how many times I read the handout from prenatal class - about how to recognize the signs of labour - I still make myself crazy evaluating all the strange twinges, aches and sensations I've begun experiencing as D day approaches.
Weird leg cramps. Suspicious lower back pain. Having to pee all the frickin' time.
I don't honestly believe I won't recognize it when it happens. I'm a living, breathing, (mildly) competent individual (sometimes). I’ll know when I have a contraction and when my water breaks and when there’s “bloody show” (why does it have to be so gross?). Right?
Regardless, I fear I'll wait too long and have to deliver the baby myself in the passenger seat of our car. (This actually happened to a Toronto woman nine years ago - I know because I interviewed her and her adorable daughter in 2007).
Or, worse - I'll get to the hospital too early and have to sit in the L&D room twiddling my thumbs and wincing in pain for hours and hours.
Maybe I'm just on edge because whenever I tell anyone I'm 36 weeks pregnant they say "oh, it could be any time now!"
No! No it can't! I'm excited to finally meet the tiny creature that wakes me up at 4 a.m. by threatening to emerge from my belly button (what's left of it). But, I want my last four weeks of freedom!!
I just do. I have projects to finish. One last nice dinner to eat with Ted. Nails that need painting (desperately). A car seat to install for heaven's sake!
So, kid, if you're listening, please come on your due date!