Please go to sleep. Please. Please??
It's 3 a.m. She's still not sleeping.
I understand why public health officials tell new moms not to shake their babies.
"Go to sleep! Go to sleep. Seriously kid, why are you awake??"
Scarlett is screaming.
If she wasn't so completely adorable (to me) I would consider throwing her out a window (Funny how nature endears mothers to their children just so that sort of thing does NOT happen).
We've tried everything: shushing, rocking, deep knee bends, nursing, nursing, more nursing, singing, dancing, you name it!
My head is falling back and sideways like a narcoleptic bobble toy and I'm overwhelmed by exhaustion.
"Ted!!!!" I yell at my snoring husband. I pitch Scarlett at his chest when he lifts his head.
"Take her. I'm finished."
This scenario plays out almost nightly these days. I don't love this part of having a newborn. Definitely not my favourite part.
LIke all situations I can't seem to resolve easily, I took it shopping (at my favourite store Kol Kid on Queen Street West West, which I'm not allowed to pass by because I'm on mat leave and on a budget and Ted will kill me).
I bought a sling (and adorable little socklets with bows for my kid who won't sleep)!
"She won't sleep, huh," the saleslady said as she popped a screeming Scarlett into a sling slung around her neck. Scarlett stopped crying instantly. Her eyelids shut like automatic blinds and she started purring.
Alas, the saleslady had the magic touch and later that night - last night - I still had a screaming baby.
My mother warned me (or was it a curse?!) when I had Hudson,who was the best baby who never cried even when he didn't want to sleep:
"You're never going to have another baby like Hudson," she told me over and over. "Just wait - your second will be difficult, like a real baby."