Hormones to the rescue!

When the officer slid past the window I threw my cellphone onto the seat and, to show I wasn't really breaking the law, grabbed the steering wheel with both hands and started talking into the air.

"Pull to the side," I heard the policeman say.

Crap.

"I'm so sorry," I stammered, rolling down my window. 'It's just habit, the holding my cell phone thing, total habit. Please don't give me a ticket?"

Scarett and I were on our way home from a series of errands, which included dropping Hudson at nursery school and a friend at work around 9:30 this morning. Rain drizzled down my window so I couldn't make out whether the policeman looked at all sympathetic.

"Who's car is this?" he demanded.

Confused, I glanced around at the half eaten pieces of rye bread and banana peels, the coffee cups, pacifiers and crushed paper bags littering the back seat to reassure myself I hadn't stolen something big this morning - a reasonable proposition given my sleep deprivation.

"Um, mine?" I said.

Well, your license plate is expired.

The officer's face was stern, his ticket-writing fingers twitchy and I promised Ted I wouldn't get one more ticket this year (okay, I'm a horrible driver, with a knack for parking illegally too).. or else.

"Oh," I responded, thinking I had to do something and quick. If ever I was going to use that whole new mom thing it was now:

I mustered my best flustered look (it wasn't difficult given my unkempt, un-showered appearance. My hair, wiry and wild was pulled into a lopsided ponytail and I think my giant nursing bra straps were poking through my ratty t-shirt).  

"I. Am. So. Sorry," I whined. "I didn't realize I had an expired license plate. I... I just had a baby, I'm exhausted. I haven't been paying attention to anything but the baby and the not sleeping.... And she's a tiny baby... And I don't sleep..."

"I see the baby," the kind officer said. "Okay, okay, listen, don't talk on your phone again. It's a $190 ticket. And please, please, tell your husband to register the plate. Okay?"

"Okay!" I said - a headache, which had just started its descent to my forehead, halted. "Thank you sir! Thank you!"

As I pulled away I exhaled and tried to think of the lesson I learned from this experience: seem more hormonal next time. 

 

 

Comments

[sarange]

awesome! he he he!

[Suzanne Muir]

Once after my third baby was born I had been trapped in the house for about 3 weeks and decided it was time to go to the grocery store and buy milk by myself - sans baby (don't worry Hubby was home with baby) . So I got in the car in my postpartum haze and immediately ran a stop sign. And yes a police officer was right there so he pulled me over and then asked me to take out my registration.... just as I opened the glove box a HUGE kitchen knife fell out onto the floor of the car. (I should mention I'm a hijab wearing Muslim). The Police Officer actually took a step back from my car and said tentatively "Maam why do you have a knife in your car." I disolved into tears ( I had no idea my husband had put it in the car to cut oranges at the elder son's soccer game) and pleaded "I don't know... I just had a baby. I haven't left the house in 3 weeks. I can hardly walk. I don't know why I have a HUGE knife in my car....sob sob sob..." ( I was actually hysterical). Anyway I must have scared the crap out of him and he felt sorry for me so he said... "It's okay, it's okay... just be a little more careful and maybe you should go home and take a nap!". LOL

[Tanya]

Should the lesson you take away from this not be to NOT talk on your cell phone while you are driving and endanger your daughter's life? Sorry to be harsh but distracted driving is not a joke.