I NEED to do something

On Wednesday I met an old friend - who has a daughter precisely the same age as Scarlett (two days apart) - for lunch and after we let our little girls claw and poke at one another over a sandwich and pasta she asked me a curious question:

"So, what are you doing with your time; how do you spend your days?"

"Well," I said, pausing,"I... run errands, feed Hudson, cook. I do A LOT of cooking..."

"Oh," she said, and smiled. I detected mocking so I smiled back with a slight sneer (I really like this friend particularly for her subtle commentary).

As we parted ways I started thinking (in general, not a good state for me): I feel very busy, harried and always pressed for time. But really, what the hell AM I doing?

I mentally walked myself through a typical day:

5 a.m. wake up to Scarlett's cute - but not so cute at that time of day - yowling. 

6:15 to 7: 30 a.m. workout (because that is my ONE hour without having a child stuck to me the entire day)

7:45 a.m. nurse Scarlett, change her, change Hudson for school, cook and feed him breakfast

8:30 a.m. pack both kids into the stroller, walk Hudson to school

Get the girl to nap, run errands, eat

4:30 p.m. pick up the boy, feed him dinner, try not to let the TV babysit him too much

6:30 p.m. bathe Scarlett, put her to sleep, 

7:30 p.m. do same with Hudson.

11 p.m. wipe drool from the corner of my mouth and Hudson's pillow, realize I've been sleeping in Hudson's bed since I put him to sleep.

Lather, rinse, repeat

In between those activities I do some other things too, such as:

1) MY KID'S HOMEWORK:
This past week I made a 100 collection! After getting a strange, inexplicable e mail assignment from one of Hudson's nursery school teachers, I set off on a task to make the coolest collection of 100 things ever to celebrate my kids' 100th day of school! Yes. I misunderstood the directions, which were to, like, count out 100 popcorn kernels and stick 'em in a bag. Instead, I made 100 popsicle stick people wearing small white t-shirts. 

2) TEACHING MYSELF AND MY KID USEFUL LIFE SKILLS:

I decided it would be fun for Huds and I to bake cookies. A "cooker" rather than a "baker" I understand how to prepare salty foods, such as sardines, lamb chops, Hoisin noodles, coq au vin, for heaven's sake. I don't know which end of a baking sheet is up. "But what are you DOING with the ingredients mum," Hudson asked after I let him rake patterns in the sugar, which he spilled all over the counter and floor. 

"I'm using them to make the cookies, my love," I said.

"Oh, I see mum," he said.

"Would you like to stir?" I asked.

"No," he said, looking at the yellowish mash in the bowl with suspicion. His weariness grew deeper with each step. He peered into the oven to watch the cookies finally bake and looked at me as if I was doing witchcraft. 

"Look," I finally said, showing him the recipe book (a very cute book that depicts recipes in adorable drawings with only some words), we made the ingredients into cookies! Would you like to eat one?"

"No thanks mum," he said. And he didn't have one. 

3) HAVE MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS WITH MY SON:

"Shall we press this big BIG button, mum?" Hudson asked recently, his finger poised to set off the alarm in an elevator. 

"Oh, sweetheart, no," I said. "That button is for emergencies. Like if you get stuck or you can't find mum. Or you feel scared because you are stuck.. or can't find mum."

"Oh, okay mum, I will press it and the big BIG firemen will come!" he said. 

"Yes, NO. Yes and No!" I said, feeling tired. It had been a busy day. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Jen]

I really liked this post, Michele. A lot of the time I spent on mat leave with Ella was like this. At the end of the day, I'd count up the things that I had done outside of the house, and often the list looked like this:
-music class
-grocery store
However, this didn't include the amount of time spent making food for / feeding Ella, cleaning us both up from said activities, changing her diapers, getting her to nap, doing general clean-up around the house, making dinner, and doing laundry. Also, it is so, so important to recognize the need for time to yourself. Good for you for making the time for a workout. For me, exercise was (still is) a really important part of my routine, something that you not only do for yourself, but for your family. Your family needs a healthy, happy mom who can participate in all of their fun activities and I think that it does send a great message to kids to know that their parents place priority on being active. Don't beat yourself up. You are doing a LOT of something :)!

[Somerset wedding gal]

It's amazing how much of your time kids can take, and, as much as you love em and would give everything for them, it can be a tiny bit frustrating to not be able to do *anything* just for you! never forget that raising happy kids is itself the biggest *something* you can do, but also remember to give yourself some you time! Can hubby take care of them for a day or something while you go to a spa??

[Therese Walker]

I remember this! One baby was so easy. Two was unimaginably difficult and all the helpful people from the first baby had moved on. With three I must have been pretty tired as I cannot remember much. Enjoy the time though - mine are all in grade school now and I miss them.
On a side note, that is the BEST 100 day project idea ever! That is so brilliant!
Kids also like groundhog day puppets with attached shadows made of paper. It does keep them busy.
Another thing- I used to do smartie hunts with my kids using the tiny halloween boxes of smarties and hiding them in their room. Unfortunately the rooms are too full of toys and stuff for this anymore. It used to be a lot of fun though as you don't so much hide them as place them on the train, in the dinosaur's mouth etc. It is a fun treat activity.

[Sally]

What does your friend do all day? :). I think most moms spend their day doing the same. I have a 3month old, and just with cooking, feeding, diapers, cleaning, working out the days fly by!