Day One

If I am going to quit smoking, I have learned after several failed and some comical attempts, I cannot do it alone.

I used to think I could staidly quit without a complaint or eating binge. That's how my grandfather did it, or so the story goes.

But I don't think I'm strong enough to do it that way.

I'm considering going on a controversial drug that is supposed to block nicotine's effect on the brain. It's a new drug, and drawing attention for its effectiveness and possible links to nasty psychological fallout.

I have also scheduled regular meetings with my doctor. She says doing so ups the chances of success by 80 per cent.

I like the idea of regular doctor visits because it's like entering a bargain, and if I fail in my attempt, I won't just be disappointing myself but my doctor, too.

So I started thinking: Maybe, instead of not telling anyone, as my heroic grandfather did, I should involve everyone I can.

I don't care anymore whether I quit gracefully. I just want to quit.

I put my name in a quitting challenge to win an expensive car. A cancer charity is running the contest.

What if I actually win? Wouldn't do to ride around in a new hybrid, my yellowed fingers dangling out the window holding a smoldering, tasty Dunhill.

I've also told my editor and some friends that I'm quitting.

And now you.

I'd like to say I'm writing to help others. But for the most part, I'm not. This is selfish.

I need people to know I'm quitting.

The bigger the audience, the bigger the shame if I fail.

Doctors orders are to start with a half pill per day for a while, then up to two half-pills then eventually two full pills a day.

Today's the first day. I start now.

Just huffed down a smoke on my front porch.

This is it.

But the moment feels empty.

Shouldn't there be some kind of celebration, maybe a gang of salubrious backslappers to rush into my house, with kazoos and overflowing mugs of viscous fruit-shakes and words of encouragement, to cheerfully usher me into a new era of health and taste buds and ruddy skin?

But no one is around, and I realize there's a few smokes left in my pack of Dunhills.

Maybe the pills can wait for tomorrow.

Comments

[Tracy]

my best friend read this book, in a day - he was a 1/2 pack a day smoker for 16 years - half way through the book he knew he had quit - when he finished the book, he ripped up his remaining smokes and has not thought about them again. It is a best seller world wide - and it works...

http://www.theeasywaytostopsmoking.com

good luck to you!

t

[JT]

Congratulations David. You have taken the first step.
I am a nicotine addict too, but have been nic-free for 19.5 yrs and still tell people it's by far my most prized accomplishment.
Here are some tips to help you along the way that worked for me.

1. Throw out all reminders of smoking, you know what they are and even rearrange furniture to set the new you in motion.
2. Plan to stay busy. Better yet, take up a new challenging hobby to occupy your tangled mind.
3. Think short term pain, long term gain (19.5yrs)
4. Expect to gain weight and get over it. You can lose 10-15lbs later when you're stronger and healthier.
5. Plan an overall better lifestyle. Feed and exercise the new you well.
6. Treat yourself. 1/day for the first week. 1/week for the first two mths. 1/mth for the first year. 1/yr for the rest of your life and celebrate your health. Each year on my anniversary date (Aug 3, 1988) I tell everyone who will listen how many years it has been and buy myself a gift.
7. Believe in what you're doing.
Hope this helps.
JT

[Alex]

Good Luck!!! I have been trying for the last year to quit and know how difficult it is. I will continue to visit to see how this controversial drug works out for you.

[Gayle]

Hello there, good luck on quitting smoking. I do find this "pill" issue irritating. Why does there seem to be a pill for everything? If we sneeze we take a pill, not sleeping? Take a pill, need to lose weight another pill. I'm sorry but I feel your grandfather had it right. Just do it, and I speak from experience...I used to smoke four packs a day that was over fifteen years ago, and I don't miss it at all...

[Yuri P Weydling]

I'm rooting for you!! take care and be kind to yourself.

[Shanna]

Congrats! I've quit for 2 and a half months now and it feels great. I did it cold turkey...it was very very hard at once...I was getting the withdrawl symptoms and actually thought I couldn't do it...but after the first 3 weeks it gets easier...and now I'm repulsed cause it's gross and does nothing for you. Two of my friends are on that drug you are talking about which I HIGHLY recommend, my two friends were big time smokers but have both quit and thanks to that drug they've successfully quit because it suppresses that craving feeling you get which is the hardest reason why its hard to quit. So ya, you can do this, but honestly, after a while you'll realize how nasty it is...I know at the beginning its hard to grasp and what not but once you're saving money, healing your lungs and not smelling so gross and so on...it really is worth it. My motivation was hearing stories from non-smokers and people who have formally quit...really helped me motivated because it was like, yes, i can do this. Made me realize how bad of a drug addict i was to nicotine. so, YOU CAN DO THIS. it is for the best....you wont look back as time goes on, sure you'll get your odd cravings but as time goes on they get less and less and you fight them a lot easier. keep us posted on the journey!

[Ron]

OK David, go for it. I have been attempting to quit for the last couple of years. I tried the pills including the latest one you're talking about and believe me it actually does block the nicotine, I couldn't stay on it because I became really irritable. The best method I know of is the one referred to earlier, The Easy Way To Stop Smoking. I highly recommend you read that book. Good luck to you, I may try again myself soon........

[Maria]

Hi dear. Quitting smoking is not easy, it is a challenge. First mentalize it, realize it, and love life, a long one. After that buy a package of cigarettes, open it and take one, and then say good bye to the cigarette, the rest of the package, the ashtray and the lighter and feel the freedom. Good luck, I did that way, took me approximately 6 months to realized, today 4 years have gone, and I am feeling great. Bye, Maria.

[John Davis]

Get the Champix - it's amazing - tried everything else, no luck. Tried Champix - didn't think it would work. Surprise, surprise - couldn't be easier !!!!

Don't know what they're talking about with the Psychological Effects. Had zero effect on me, or any of my friends. Just don't take it on an empty stomach !

Good luck !

[Chris Greaves]

Go for it. I quit smoking in 1980, it was that or lose the girl.
I told her I was quitting.
I couldn't smoke on public transit.

Then I told my colleagues at work that I HAD quit. They all laughed and said I didn't have the guts.
That riled me up and made me stubbornly determined to show THEM.

They were wrong, and I was right.
Painting myself into a corner seemed to have done the trick.
(Sex helped)

[Carla]

Hey,y'know what? "The Easy Way To Quit Smoking" helped me too. But I had already started with the nicotine patch a few days before I read the book and even though the author says not to use stop-smoking-aids like the patch, I kept on it. I found that, for me, the patch solved the problem of the physical cravings and the book (which, admittedly, is clumsily written but makes a lotta sense nonetheless) handled the psychological cravings. I smoked a pack a day for 20 years and quit with no trouble whatsoever using these tools. That was 5 or 6 years ago now, and I haven't wanted a cigarette since.

Good luck, David. It may not be as difficult as you think it's gonna be.

[Jeffro Taller]

I quit smoking about 3 weeks ago. The first few days are tough, then it gets easier. There's lots of info out there, including some really good websites-the best are non-governmental. Everything changes when you quit, how you think, act, etc.

Funny for me, whenever I get a craving (all psychological now) I either exercise or have a cup of chai-tea, which for some reason is a good replacement for a cigarette.

Do it one craving at a time.

[Red]

Well, consider me one of the gang of virtual backslappers. On average, it takes 4-7 attempts, so consider each of your previous tries as a step along the way.
Good luck!

[Rees]

I'm on day three of quitting and it is hell! I want to rip everyone's head off, I don't want to gain weight and it will be the first weekend without my entourage of 25 friends...but I have seen the alternative and it is disgusting, painful and in the end, we all know it is not worth it.

Drink water, take pills or chew Nicorette. I also find it helpful to keep ear plugs and/or mp3 player on hand for the unavoidable and irritating people and situations.

Best of luck...and about painting yourself in a corner - I'm reading your blog every day :)

[yuri]

don't know if you ever watch oprah, but dr. oz was on to help smokers "breathe easier"
maybe there are tips you can use.
http://www.oprah.com/health/oz/programs/smoking/smoking_main.jhtml

pax

[Doris]

I used Chantix but found I was up at 3 am cleaning my house so I stopped taking the evening pill and just kept taking the one pill in the morning. I quit for 6 months, gained 20 lbs and unfortunately started smoking again. So now I smoke and am fat as well.. Keep at it and good luck.

[Greg]

I hate to tell you this, but there is no "magic bullet" The book "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking" is helpful in regards to realizing what is going on with your addiction to nicotine, and how to defeat negative thoughts.
I quit over three weeks ago, and I can tell you that my mind has offered up just about every reason possible to start again. You just have to take a deep breath and put some distance between you and the ciggies - they taste like crap anyway once you break down and have one so there's no point.
P.S. - Your rage is there whether you smoke or not....

[Sharon Rabenda]

Hi, Champix was a wonder drug for me...I have been smoke free since Nov 19/07, after 26 years of a pack a day......I never, ever thought I could quit, and still am amazed that I have. Champix is the ONLY med that worked for me - Nothing else - patch, gum, zyban, cold turkey, group therapy - helped at all. I know the rage feelings and all the other bad feelings that were there the other quit times, but with Champix, they are far more manageable.

Granted, I am still taking a 1/2 mg a day, but hopefully can one day get to zero a day. The thoughts of cigarettes still come and go - but what can you expect after doing something for 26 years!

Keep trying!!!!! I always say, if i can quit, then anyone can!!!

Good luck!

[Brian]

I would hope that all smokers try to kick the habit and that their friends and families would fully support them.

I just lost my father at 68 years of age from lung cancer. He was a heavy smoker since he was 15 years old! Smoking does not effect just the smoker but everyone around them especially when it takes their lives. Unfortunately he cut down too late!

I know some people have lived long regardless but why take chances. It was incredible the number of people at the lung cancer clinic and it was agony seeing people go through so much pain, especially when it was my own father lying in bed dying and enduring a week in ICU.

Please save yourselves from yourselves !!!

[bob]

Deal with it one day at a time. Eventually it will leave your mind (you'll just have to deal with tough times).

Never give in (Not even a strong sniff of 2nd hand smoke!), do you know how many people have started again after being off for years? (of course you do!). If you don't already, start exercising, it'll help with the weight, and also help convince you why you can't continue to smoke in the first place (yet another reason). Question is - is this your rock bottom? If it is, you will quit, if not when will your rock bottom come, when you're another statistic? Good luck!

Ex-smoker - 12.5 years

[Phillip]

I quit for 8 months a few years ago taking Zyban. I endured vivid nightmares almost every night and had to take an anti-anxiety pill to get to sleep -- but I quit. Sadly, I started again and have been a pack a day for a couple of years. You and the comments in your story have made me want to try again. I am forty now so it's about time. I will try the Champix and will keep reading your journal! Thanks!!

[P]

Quitting smoking was one of the hardest things I've had to do. 'Been 7 years now.

Though, in all honesty, coffee was harder to quit than smoking.

Good luck with the quit.

[Jane]

You say some self-defeating things, like 'I don't think I'm strong enough to do this'...and that you must have aids to do it. Hmmm. Your grandfather did it because...he wanted to? I did it (long time ago). People do it. You can do it.
Perhaps when you started you didn't understand that the addiction was going to be difficult to rid yourself of. All the things you describe are exactly that, and addiction is exactly what you have. I so far have not seen that word here (maybe I scanned too fast). You don't have to beat yourself up if this seems difficult; it's not a measure of your character that it's difficult to do, it's a measure of the addictiveness of the drug components of cigarettes.
For your information, I didn't gain weight during the quitting process, I got quite a bit thinner, because I didn't need to eat or drink to get that cigarette down. I could eat when hungry and drink when thirsty. Yay! I avoided coffee or alcohol (too close association), but not for long. I quit three times, the first two for three months (3 month mark - my weak point) and the third time was many years ago when I felt my lungs deteriorating and decided to add those ten or so years to my life. It's all gone now, all in the past (addiction) but I'm still here.
Remember - you likely have as much character as anyone else, but you have to stop whining and just quit - what you need is will power, which is what your grandpa used. It isn't easy, why should it be easy, it's an addictive drug you are kicking.

[bob]

Advice? - Laughter is the best medicine, especially for addicition pains. Now that your lungs are beginning to clear and you can breathe a bit easier - Laugh Loud and heartily as often as you can! Fight tooth and nail! After about 30 days or so, it will begin to leave your mind. You're kicking a drug
here as addictive as heroin!

[terry]

Addiction to nicotine is different for everyone. You may have more nicotine receptors in your brain which make cravings worse. Your body may produce more of a liver enzyme that clears nicotine away faster making you need to smoke more and making it harder for you to quit. The important thing is that you are trying to stop. The average number of quit attempts before success is 7! Call the smokers helpline-I hear that they are very helpful. They can direct you to alot of helpful resources as well. One of these is a booklet that the Cancer Society produces called "For Smokers who want to Quit." Health Canada also has a publication called "On the Road to Quitting" which you can order for free online. And about Champix; I have heard that the depression and suicidal ideations that people have experienced while on this medication may be due to undiagnosed depression or bipolar disease. These people may have been self medicating with nicotine. (Nicotine causes dopamine to be released in the brain which leaves you feeling good). I encourage you to try NRt, Zyban, Champix; what ever it takes. All the best to you!

[Chris greaves]

Use the telephone.
You have friends.
If they are REAL friends, they'll be glad to hear that you're quitting smoking, and will accept that you need to talk/whine/cringe/bleet etc. for a few minutes each day.
Eat.
Food is not an obsession, nor a craving. So what if you put on a few pounds, you'll smell nicer.

[Marty]

It's been 4 months for me... No craving, best $20 bucks I've ever spent.

http://www.theeasywaytostopsmoking.com

[F. Wintrob]

I smoked from the age of 13 - two packs a day, no filter. Nobody in my family smoked and my parents were beside themselves. I grew up with chronic asthma from the age of 3, but that never stopped me. I smoked through strep throat, bronchitis, etc. I quit at 26 and years later the Doctors would ask me if I smoked when they checked my lungs. That is the damage it had caused. I gained 15 lbs. when I quit, but then went on a diet and lost it.

It was the hardest thing I ever did, but it had to be done. It took me 3 times to quit and the Dr. telling me not to come back to him, because he had people who were really sick and would listen.

You can do it. Just perservere. I used to smoke a silly corncob pipe in my room, never inhaled, until I kicked the habit. Even now, I love the smell of smoke, but being alive and healthy outweighs it. I could not walk any distance before I quit and now I run 4 miles a day.

Hang in there.

Francesca

[Chris]

Hey, Keep goin` man!!
And if someone named Francesca...who can run 4 miles a day e-mailed you, isn`t that inspiration enough??!!

Keep it up.