"Nicotine slaves are all the same ..."

Two weeks, and still no cigarettes.

Many of you said that by now I would be over "the hump."

But I am still feeling physical withdrawal as acutely as I was a week ago.

Still agitated and too quick to anger.

I am bored, waiting for something to happen, something to click and restore the calm cigarettes provided.

It's not happening.

I have to start doing something to take the edge off, and I grudgingly realize it's time to start excercising.

For me, that means jogging.

I don't do gyms because they're filled with mirrors and posturing and creepy people hungry for eye contact.

I don't want to use what they call an "elliptical," nor do I ever want to utter or write the word again.

But I can't simply start jogging.

There is some preparation.

I need the perfect mix of songs for my iPod. Songs that urge me on and give me wind. Any suggestions?

I found the lyrics to a Willie Nelson song I've never heard: Smoke, Smoke, Smoke That Cigarette. I think maybe it should be included in the jogging mix.

Now I'm a fellow with a heart of gold with the ways of a gentleman I've been told
A kind of a fellow that wouldn't even harm a flea
But if me and a certain character met that guy that invented the cigarette
I'd murder that son of a gun in the first degree
That ain't that I don't smoke myself and I don't reckon they'll injure your health
I've smoked 'em all my life and I ain't dead yet
But nicotine slaves are all the same at a pheasant party or a poker game
Everythin's gotta stop when they have that cigarette

Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette
Puff puff puff and if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St. Peter at the Golden Gate that you hate to make him wait
But you just gotta have another cigarette

Comments

[Georgia]

You poor thing.
I'm reading your blogs and I wish I could just reach through this computer screen and hug you and then, slap you!
As a spike-haired health guru used to bellow: 'Stop the Insanity.'
Your method is all wrong.
I am an ex-smoker.
I have been smoke-free for five months now.
I did it the Easy Way, literally.
So, stop your suffering and take my advice.
Pills and gums and patches and may God have mercy on you, cold turkey, these methods do not work.
I have failed three times per method in the 16 years that I have smoked. (The last six years being a pack-a-day smoker).
Do me a favour, go to the corner store and buy that pack of cigarettes you can't get off your mind. And smoke. You are not a failure. These fear-mongering methods you're subscribing to are the certain failures.
And after you've done that, take a drive to your local Chapters and drop what will be your best spent $20 in your life: The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr.
This will change your life.
If you feel you can afford a little bit more, go to the seminar. ($400 with a money-back guarantee, for real!!)
It's life-altering.
I walked out of a five-hour seminar, smoke-free, with no desire to smoke. I dropped my cigarettes and lighter in the wastebasket, hit the highway, rolled down the windows, sang, screamed, cried, and never once craved a cigarette.
Oh, and by the way, it's THE SMOKER'S WAY TO QUIT SMOKING! Smoke breaks every hour on the hour (or smoke breaks every chapter, your call) until you never want to smoke again.
Try it.
I wasn't hypnotized, brain-washed or put into a trance.
I was finally told the truth.
I'm an addict.
And so are you.

[Peter]

I was on thestar.com and came across the the online ad and found your column. I found it interesting because I smoked for about 22 years and quit 6 months 21 days ago (August 4th, 2007).

I quit cold turkey at 11:35pm. I like to have a few drinks especially since it was the Monday of a long weekend. My in-laws and brother in-law (who all smoke though my wife doesn't) were over for some longweekend cheer. They left, I continued, to have a drink and clean up since my 2 year old daughter was in bed and my wife was also settling down.

I don't smoke in the house so I was sitting outside, having yet another drink (I really only drink beer and wine) when I realized that I was out of smokes.

I hopped into my SUV and drove up the street to the Esso (about a 1 minute drive), got another pack, got back in and drove back home. Once home, I opened up the pack and proceed to light it. For some unknown reason it finally dawned on me. I risked my health, my fellow Torontonians health, the possibility of going to jail (I was most definitely over the limit), the embassement of my family, the financial consequence of not working (self employed and need my license to drive my clients), and overall dignity.... over a cigarette.

Probably the stupidest thing I ever did. I put that cigarette out. Went inside and put my smokes in the cupboard, and went to bed.

When I woke in the morning, I didn't forget.

Even though it has only been over 6 months, I look at people who smoke and I truly feel sorry for them. It is one of the hardest obstacles to overcome. I find it harder now to see myself as a smoker.

My aids were (as strange as they are):

1) I stopped dinking alcohol for the first week.
2) I drank probably 3-4 grande Cafe Americano's from Starbucks with lots of sugar.
3) I spent a lot of time on www.cancer.org, the site is very useful to explain what your body is going through (the relationship between how nicotine regulates sugar in your body is quite interesting and explains a lot.

I wish you the best and hope you succeed.

As a sidenote, I stopped drinking alcohol on February 13th for no reason. Well maybe since we are expecting our second child on September 27th.

[Peter]

Sorry...it was www.cancer.ca

[owenmeany1]

David,
8:48 Friday February 29th.
4 fixes and 2 cups of coffee later.
I am so fed up of smoking, enough already of my endless journalling, exploration, pondering, blah, blah, blah.

They have all just been excuses I have been doing for me not to start to get over this addiction that has paralyzed me for so many years.
And yes, enslavement to the drug.

So what if my past broken promises to myself to quit make the decision to quite seem futile.
I know that it really makes no difference. Instead of remembering those past quit attempts as failure I will look at them for the lessons I learned and the mistakes that I made that caused me to fail.
I have also decided to not tell myself "don't smoke" my mantra is "breathe smoke free" as I have been told my subconscious doesn't understand the
"don't" and only hears the "smoke."
Sound advice for me!

My "breathe smoke free" date has been set:
Saturday March 1st.
Thats it, I have said it, I am committed.

Saturday, I will begin to gain control of my life, begin to enjoy breathing free, look forward to the physical and mental changes that nicotine has been denying me for so many years.

I admit I am fearful, and I know that fear is my intuition being undermined by my ego. I will listen to my intuition and tune out my ego.

Send my good thoughts!
Here I go, breathe.

[Hank Kong]

iPod suggestions:
Aint nuthin but a G thang
Stairway to Heaven
Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 2
Highway to Hell
Mephisto Waltz by Liszt
Oops . . . I did it again
Randy Moss Blues
Jailhouse Rock
Big Poppa
Beethoven's Enyoeye Sonata

[Carla]

Well, it depends on what your goal is when you are jogging… Frankly, if I were in your (running) shoes, I think I’d prefer to be distracted from thinking about (not) smoking rather than constantly thinking about (not) smoking. I mean, the topic gets a little tiresome, doesn’t it? If the answer to that question is "no", then add “Smoking in the Boys’ Room” by Brownsville Station to your iPod. In addition to its retro cheeeezeball appeal, it’s got a good chugging beat for running. If you would prefer to think of something other than (not) smoking, then add “Energy” by The Apples In Stereo to your iPod. That one always brings a smile to my face and a bounce to my step when I am out for a run. Plus, the lyrics to the chorus are reassuring, which might help in this case: ‘It’s gonna be alright’.

I started running about a year ago--five years after I quit smoking. I certainly never could've done it while I was smoking. Stick with it. It's worth it. :-)

[aj]

Your quitting experience sounds exactly like mine. I was absolutely miserable, angry, edgy and upset for the first month before I started to feel better. But running did help me a lot. It's good to pick up an activity that would be so much harder to do if you were a smoker. Good motivation.
Good luck! It does get easier!

[Kelli Fox]

Don't do it! If you took Georgia's advice now, you'd just have to begin again and with each successive try it only gets harder. I don't believe people who say they just quit and never thought about it again and so can you. There is no magic bullet. Reading your blog and doing the math, I'm guessing you were a young teenager when you started smoking. You grew up smoking. Me too. Starting at ten (so young and so stupid!), I smoked for over 20 years, 1-2 packs a day for most of that time. In that circumstance smoking becomes inextricably linked with who you are as an adult. That's a tough nut to crack. You are describing very clearly (and with admirable humour and humility) a process I absolutely recognize and remember well. When I quit six years ago, I cried every day for a month. I can't tell you exactly how it ended, I just know that one day the struggle was over. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do and it's worth every second of agony you're experiencing now to achieve the freedom that will be your reward. Being smoke-free is a choice you will have to make again and again and again until your mind catches up with your intent and stops trying to convince you that you've made a horrible mistake that has destroyed your true identity. That day will come. Hang in. Exercise helps. Oh and, last word of caution....that day you foresee this summer with the cold beer and the stupid friend with the fresh pack of B&H? You know that day is absolutely coming. And you know what you will have to do. Think about how long it's been since the craving really nagged at you. By then it will have been quite a while, I promise you. Then remember these first days and weeks. And choose again. Don't smoke. Or smoke and have all of this fun to look forward to again the next time you try to quit. It's up to you. You sound like a smart guy.

[kate]

I'm so relieved you're still quit! When you missed a day blogging I got worried about you! I'm at day 11 now. It's getting easier...I think. But you never know, because I just had the absolute worst day of the quit, followed by the best day so far. I still feel like I'm not really me. I have some time off next week and am barely looking forward to it because I can't smoke and I feel like it just won't be the same. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and it makes it easier knowing you're out there quitting too!!

[karen ho]

I don't know if it'll be a giant trigger of a movie, but that song was in the fantastic opening credits for the film Thank You for Smoking, directed by Jason Reitman. If you can stand the idea of a movie centered around cigarettes (but with few scenes of people actually smoking them) I think you'd really like it.

[GRB]

Dude, you have NOT done your research. You cannot be successful without doing your research.

Allen Carr - The Easy Way - if you have not read that yet, read it NOW!

Also read Joel Spitzer's online Quit Smoking resources. Forget the blackened lungs but the other stuff is great -
www.whyquit.com

I'm relapse free for 9 weeks and I'm LOVING IT.