Somebody else for a change

Kate quit around the same time I did - six weeks ago.
She is about the same age.
She has smoked for about as long.
Because there are some who think this blog is whiny and silly, I thought you might like to hear how someone else is coping.
Kate is funny.

Kate says:

"I smoked for 16 years, which is precisely half my life. I'm 32."

Why did you start smoking?

"Cause I thought it was cool. I don't know. I remember trying to learn how to smoke. I remember taking two drags and feeling like I was going to barf. I was, like, the leader. I was probably responsible for a whole bunch of people smoking."

How much did you smoke?

"I would say I probably pretended I smoked half a pack a day but it was probably closer to a full pack a day."

Why did you decide to quit six weeks ago?

"I got married last year and that was a big (motivator) because I was a smoking bride, which was not a cool thing. I had to sneak off with the bridesmaids to go smoke. Nothing says class like a white wedding dress and a cigarette hanging out of the side of your mouth."

How are you doing in this attempt compared to previous tries?

"This time, I'm now actually officially farther than I've ever gone before. In previous attempts I was trying to see how long I could last without smoking. This time I'm trying to live without smoking, which is a totally different approach. I don’t think there's anything you can do to prepare for this."

What has it been like?

"It's been awful. Absolutely awful. The first four days are the toughest. Then you're not pacing anymore, you don't have this level of simmering rage all the time. After that you have this state of depression. It's almost like I'm grieving. I wake up and think something terrible has happened and I can't remember what it is, and then I remember ... it’s that I can't smoke. Coffee isn't the same. Booze isn't the same I just have to get over it and learn to live without smoking."

How has your husband coped?

"He's a non-smoker (but) he's been awesome. He's been totally staying out of my way. I think one of the things non-smokers have a hard time understanding is that this is a battle every day. I still need you to say, 'Good job. I’m proud of you. Keep going.' It’s not over. It’s not going to be over for a while.”

Any downsides to quitting?

"I put on eight pounds. I don’t know how (my husband) feels about that. But I can be fat and a non-smoker. That’s okay. Because I've quit, I sort of decided that I am allowed to do anything else I want. If I want the shoes, I can buy the shoes. If I want to have a latte every day this week, I can. I’ve become a little bit indulgent."

Comments

[Chris Z]

OK, I just found this blog today and I'm gonna follow it through with you. I quit about six weeks ago, after 23 years of smoking, for this "driven to win " contest. I was doing great...until last Friday. I caved. Fell right off the wagon and went through a whole pack of smokes this weekend(I actually have one left at the time of writing this). But OK buddy, if you can get in front of all these people and do this, then so can I.

That last cigarette went into the garbage just now...

[Steverino]

Two months ago marked the point in my life where I've been a smoker for longer than a non-smoker - and I'm 28! (Started when I was just starting grade 7). That scared the crap out of me.

So now I will make my 43rd attempt at quitting. I've tried so many times. And the worst part is that smoking is really the only unhealthy thing I do. I don't eat badly, I exercise and play sports with gusto. Even last summer I did a 4,000 km bicycle tour, and just one week of that 2 month trip was smoke free.

I just can't tell myself that I'm not allowed to smoke. That's my problem. I bet a lot of people have that problem. In fact, seeing a non-smoking sign just makes me want to smoke since I hate the rules telling me not too. Just like a little child I guess.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that this blog has been helpful. After a few weeks of reading these posts, I've finally made some real, serious plans to quit. I've never tried to quit with someone, so maybe this will change things. And if I fail, my punishment will be to repost here admitting to everyone how much I suck. There should always be consequences! So here we go! ***throws out pack into locked shredder recycling box***

[marg. p]

I have been following you since the start of the blog. Today I'm on day three and hoping I feel better than yesterday. (I could have ripped someones head of yesterday.) My family is not that supportive (two of them smoke) but I'm quitting anyways. I have smoked a pack a day for 30 years now and it's like I've lost a friend. A bad friend but friend none the less. I'm glad you started the blog because it helps the rest of us not feel so alone and when your getting rid of a habit thats how you feel. (I gave up drinking some years back and my friends disappeared too.) Anyways I just wanted to say thanks and keep up the good work.

[Kevin]

Along with the smokers help line, I have come here every other day or so to read your blog. One of my many attempts to quit lasted 62 days and for no apparent reason, I was at the gas station buying a small pack. Figured that I would smoke less if I got the stubbies. Yeah right. After chain smoking the pack (well about 6 of them) I just figured, no one likes a "QUITTER" so what the hell, I'm back. The first time that I met up with my friends for drinks, it was like a celebration - I wasn't trying to get others to quit, but rather now enjoying the freezing cold with them - we drank, laughed and smoked like it was 1999.
Today, I am now 33 days smoke free and can't stand the smell of smoke anymore. I have become "ONE" of those people, you know, the ones that give people the "LOOK" when you see them smoking.
33 days is by no means a milestone in my books, I just hope that I can make it to a year and beyond.
I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog. To all the people that think quiting is easy - walk a mile in my shoes and then we can talk.
To all the "QUITTERS" that read this blog, good luck and happy smoke free day.

[Stephanie]

My quit date was March 20th. First day of Spring. I caved too this past weekend. Not quite a full pack, but a smoke nonetheless. It doesnt matter if your cave is big or small, it still leaves you with the sense of defeat. It sucks. And i understand. Good luck to you Chris, and to you David. Good luck to me too!

[Deb]

Like Chris, I too have been kicking a half-my-life habit in hopes of winning the car in the Driven to Quit contest. If it makes you feel better, Chris, I would have caved many many times too except for the fear that if I did sneak a smoke, I would definitely win the contest and would then fail the subsequent blood test and have the car taken away! This nightmare fantasy comes complete with camera crews and visions of my mom sadly shaking her head as the car is towed off into the sunset past a gaggle of gawking neighbors. I just wonder what the motivator is going to be now that the contest is over....
Thanks to Kate for saying exactly how I feel - she's dead on about the indulgences, the simmering rage, and the sinking feeling every morning that something good's gone forever...

[Tim]

Hi David -- I quit cigarettes around the same time you did -- a little before, I think -- after smoking for almost 30 years (with a few breaks).

Your interviewee, Kate, said quitting smoking is sometimes like grieving. She is right, and I have tried to put that grieving to work for me. I have been thinking of cigarettes as a dead lover. I really want to go back, but I simply cannot, because that part of my life is over, dead, finished, and unattainable. I am trying to fool myself into thinking I have no choice but to stay quit.

Silly, perhaps, but whatever works!

I, like Kate, allowed myself unusual indulgences when I quit, like my two-pack-a-day Rolo habit (and snacks whenever I wanted, which was always). However, after putting on 10 pounds I realized that replacing smoking with obesity probably was not a good move, so now I am watching what I eat AND staying off the smokes. Paying the price for a life of weakness.....

Cheers and continued good luck.

tim

[Fred]

17 smoke free days for me.
Misery loves company thus I love all of quitters