And the winner is ...

Not me.

Remember that Canadian Cancer Society contest I told you about, where you could win a Toyota Prius if you stayed quit for the month of March?

Well, call me egotistical, but I thought that for my undeniable and far-reaching positive impact on the struggling quitters community, the Society would maybe fix the draw in my favour.

I thought it was a fair deal, even if it required a little behind-the-scenes fiddling.

Alas, the hybrid vehicle went to a woman living in Copper Cliff. Which, I suppose, is not a bad thing - that is, an environmentally friendly car given to someone living in a place that is also home to a huge nickel refinery.

Seven others won $3,000 Future Shop gift cards.

Woulda been nice.

"Winning the Toyota Prius hybrid is a wonderful bonus, but my new smoke-free life is the real prize," the winner is reported to have told the Cancer Society.

This smoke-free life doesn't feel like a prize. What I see in the mirror, the result of two months-plus eating and swilling garbage, doesn't look like any kind of victory.

Winning a car that I could have re-sold for tens of thousands - that would have felt real nice.

Comments

[Doug Gebhardt]

Okay. You've truly made a fan of me with this post. I'm 30 lbs heavier for my efforts and I too planned on selling the car for the cash, ha ha! Ah well, Now I can enjoy life as a fat 40 something male in Toronto. How original.

[Pen]

I have to say, I love your blog - I've been an "on again-off again smoker" for a few years now - and what I mean by that is I'll quit and stay that way for a good six months or so, and then one particularly martini-soaked night and "just a drag" off of a friend's smoke will be my downfall. It's so true, what you said about the good times being the most dangerous.

I had quit again this past summer, and lasted until about January, when I moved across the country for work, living on my own for the first time. As I'm sure you can imagine, the stress had me puffing away again pretty quickly. I had been tentatively entertaining the notion of quitting again when i came across this blog for the first time. Reading it guilted me further into trying again. Right now, I'm on day five, though I'm patched. I've been reading your blog on my lunch hours and feeling smug about myself and poking the little transparant square stuck to me arm - so wish me luck:)

oh and ps: be glad that you drive, even though it sucks now without smoking - my twice-daily bus commute gives me the worse cravings and brings out my inner homicidal maniac impulse.

Keep going, and lay off the peanut butter and coke. Carrots are awesome.

[Scott]

What is all this blah, blah, blog anyway?
At the risk of being rude, but hopefully a little provocative, the Quit Smoking thing is such old news. All the smart people have already done it and the rest are just dinosaurs ... and we all know what happends to dinosaurs! So, isn't this just a big non-issue? Does anyone really care? How about something novel? Perhaps, trying to quit masterbating?

[James Papastamos]

To anyone who is trying to quit, or to those who don't even desire to kick the habit, I have only one thing to say, just one piece of advice: spend a day in the cancer ward at any big hospital, see what I have seen, hear what I have seen (the sound of patients gasping for air, the sound of respirators in full motion) - and then, once back out on the street, tell me if you still enjoy smoking. There may be glory in Death, especially if it is a heroic death, but there is no glory in dying - dying a slow, painfully lingering death related to
lung disease. Go ahead! Quit while you can!!

[Heather P]

Quitting may be 'old news' to some. But it still deserves attention cause it is one of the most difficult things to do. EVER. i'm on quit attempt 5 or thereabouts, have been quit since september. except that week on vacation in January which i dont' even want to discuss.
One of my motivators is that quitting sucks so badly and is so awful that i dont want to have to do it again. I want this time to be the last time. unfortunatley the memory of the awfulness fades when the weather turns to spring and my evenings and weekends are spent enjoying large quantities of wine on my deck with my smoker husband and friends. These are the times when i tend to start again - just while drinking. just this once. there is no one cigarette.

I have enjoyed reading your blog, and your honesty. I can't believe some of the comments. That people take the time to tell you that you're wasting their time amazes me.

the best advice i have got is this: i cannot quit forever. But i can quit smoking for the next five minutes. the next hour. the next day. again and again.
keep going adn keep ranting. fat and angry trumps being a smoker.