The non-smoker: A vision of poor health

I have unmasked an impostor.

An indolent degenerate.

A hypocrite who preaches about health and good living but in fact is a vision of flabby, artery-clogging excess.

I am looking at him now.

Jowly.

The eyes, hangdog and rheumy with trans fats.

I never should have shaved.

Here I am - the electric hair trimmer in my right hand, my beard clippings collected in the sink below - looking at myself in the bathroom mirror.

I had not shaved once since I quit smoking Feb. 14.

Until just moments ago, I looked like some survivalist from the Oregon rain forest, or a junkyard manager with an IQ of 62.

But the multi-coloured beard - brown near the sideburns, reddish around the mouth and a little silver on the chin - had its appeal.

It was sort of like a playoff beard.

Each day, as my battle against cigarettes continued to rage, my face grew bushier. As if I had the grizzled look to prove I was in the trenches.

But I would prefer trench foot to the flabby face I now see in the mirror.

All the fast food, the beer, the incessant snacking, all the things I stuffed in my mouth to take my mind of cigarettes, ended up in my jowl area.

I would consider liposuction but I hear that is more dangerous than smoking.

Comments

[ingrid]

what about sumo wrestling?

[mairead]

I found the title of your blog 'Smoke signals' extremely insightful. The smoke is the noise filtering your signals.
Your limbic brain automatically manages your moment by moment survival by monitoring sensory information (signals) to free up your cerebral cortex so you can write your blog.
When you were a teenager you started smoking on a dare & your limbic brain went "WOW! I can really use this tool. It takes care of so many signals (simulate, relax & increase sugar production) & makes my job simpler. " & it did for too many years.
You've made a cerebral decision to stopping using nicotine but your limbic brain's assembly line is still delivering 'Smoke'for many signals.
When you get a 'smoke' signal look past the smoke screen to the signal.
The easiest way to retool your assembly line is to begin with your basic survival needs.
Breathe & move. Take in oxygen then circulate it - clears the brain + relaxes the body.
We live in an oxygen restricted society. Slouched in front TVs & game consoles; hunched over keyboards & steering wheels, our lungs & muscles are continually constricted & our blood flow is sluggish.
Just try frequent deep breathing & stretching to reduce some of your 'smoke' signals & feel in control again. - Mairead

[Sarah]

I love your blog, your little poem above was hilarious. I admit, I lol'd.

Seriously, health doesn't mean just quitting smoking. It means eating well too. Ontario fruits and veggies are coming out soon - maybe start planning on ditching the junk food for fruit smoothies, salads and steamed veggies :) But you're doing a great job on quitting!! We're all rooting for you.

[Jeff]

I'm glad you've quit (the blog I mean). The idea of the blog captured my imagination but your ramblings did not. Congratulations on the other thing. Guess you're all grown up now, huh?

BTW, the way you know that you've actually beaten it is to smoke one, and only one, every couple of years or so (special events like funerals for someone you cared about are a fitting time) then piss on the embers in the driveway (metaphorically of course unless you live in the country).

[sarah]

I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Sarah