Breaking it down as we seldom do; and an obligatory list

Well, well, well.

A game!

How about that?

A rather interminable wait’s finally over and let’s try something a bit different, let’s see how these guys match up. With some other stuff thrown in just to break up the monotony of, you know, all inside basketball.

I bequeath to you …

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Point guards

Mike Bibby vs. Jason Kidd

No, it’s not going to be a track meet by any stretch of the imagination; instead of tortoise and the hare, let’s think tortoise and, well, the tortoise.

But Kidd’s been playing like he’s 28 instead of 38 and is on-court leadership really is impressive.

Advantage: Mavs.

Shooting guard

Dwyane Wade vs. DeShawn Stevenson

Every time I hear Wade say he’s not hurt, my man Bill comes to mind (“The lady doth protest too much, methinks) and while I don’t mean to call Wade a lady, you get my point. Still, as we saw at the end of Game 5 against the Bulls, he can still be pretty dang good.

And the lingering memory of him shooting a kabillion free throws the last time these teams met in the Final has to haunt the Mavs.

Advantage: Heat.

Small forward

LeBron James vs. Shawn Marion

Oh, James can be vilified and not liked and all that but, man, can he play. And he’s playing at as high a level as he ever has. And something tells me he’s ready to really put his stamp on this series. If Marion can even slow him a bit, Mavs may well win the series.

Advantage: Heat.

Now, time for a break.

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Well, let’s go with one major league digression here, ‘cause it’s what we do.

Know how the other day I posed the thought-provoking query “Ignatowski or Kramer?” Well, of course it got me thinking about Sitcom Sidekicks and who might have been, or is, the best.

Now, it’s difficult to differentiate when think about it. Is Elaine a sidekick as well as George and Kramer? How about Robert and Frank Barone? Neither? Or each? All of ‘em?

See my point?

Anyway, I’ll put my top five up against your top five any old time. Mine are, relatively, old so you might not remember ‘em but that’s what youtube is for:

Klinger

Seriously, if someone says Section Eight don’t your ears perk up? And how many of you want to go to Toledo?

Ed Norton

Maybe the original, no? And if there was a Raccoon Lodge in Hazelville, I’d find someone to invited in. Besides, he followed the June Taylor Dancers and you know how I feel about them.

Kramer

Yes, I have him all over the Rev. Jim, probably not as close as some of you may think.

And when I’m done this gig, I think an internship at Kramerica might be good; or maybe I’ll open a pizza joint where you make your own pies.

Norm Peterson

Now, seriously, you didn’t think I could possibly leave him off the list, do you? I know I’m not exactly him but …

Arthur Carslon

How can you not have on the list the guy who uttered perhaps the single greatest line in sitcom history:

“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”

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And now back to our regularly-scheduled stuff

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Power forwards

Chris Bosh vs. Dirk Nowitzki

I don’t care how well Bosh is playing – and he’s been excellent in the post-season, he’s not in Dirk’s class right now. Yes, Bosh often holds the key to a Heat win; but Dirk’s been out this world.

Advantage: Mavs

Centres

Joel Anthony vs. Tyson Chandler

As the anchor of Dallas’s defence, Chandler’s an imposing figure and good shot-blocker. He’s got some solid offensive skills, too. Anthony’s post defence is very good, he’s an aggressive rebounder and there won’t be many easy layups.

Advantage: Mavs

Bench

Mario Chalmers, Mike Miller, Udonis Haslem vs. J.J. Barea, Jason Terry, Peja Stojakovic.

Dallas gets all kinds of offensive production – but not a lot of defence – out of its bench, the Heat subs tend to hold the fort while the big guns get a blow.

Advantage: Mavs.

Coaching

Erik Spoelstra vs. Rick Carlisle

Neither guy has been here before but Carlisle’s resume is a bit more impressive, with two other trips to conference finals. Riley Spoelstra has more creative players at his disposal for end-game situations.

Advantage: None.

So, how’d I get to Heat in seven?

Well, home court’s a big factor, no question about it and with the 2-3-2 format, I think it probably takes Dallas two wins in Miami to take the series and I don’t know if they can do it.

Enjoy the games.

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Well, there goes 16-0.

Mighty Rockies give up two in the bottom of the last inning and go down to a tough 12-11 victory to the Dastardly Other Guys.

Great game, though; the kids had fun, I’ll play one-run games all year. As we told ‘em right out of the gate, a lot of baseball is managing disappointment and failure (making outs, making errors) but the glory of the game is that there’s always another one soon and we’re back at it tomorrow.

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Of all the things I’m thankful for covering the hoops instead of the TOD?

No shaving cream pies.

Really, it’s getting a tad ridiculous, isn’t it?

I know the dude won his first start ever last night and that’s well and good but to smear his face in celebration?

Dunno about that.

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We’re here tonight for an IGBT, right?

And I know the 9 p.m. East start scares some of you and it is indeed late but my friends down there tell me tip will be right about 9, the pre-game show will take care of all the other stuff, allowing them to get going almost at the proscribed time.

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Comments

[JHK]

Left out who takes the advantage for shooting guards - I know it's obvious tho.

Blogger's note: Got it. Thanks

[Kerry O]

How are you gonna put Klinger ahead of Radar? I'd rather go to Atumwah, Iowa any day.

[John]

Doug, a poster mentioned yesterday that Cleveland was going to ask for an extension to the trade exemption. Has anyone mentioned this around the Raptors? It makes sense that if there is a lock-out and the NBA is put on hold that the exemptions get put on hold as well doesn’t it? The exemptions were valid for a year and if the NBA locks out the players they will effectively change the validity of the transaction wouldn't it or do you think the NBA will say you knew this was a possibility when you signed the deal?
Curious what your thoughts are...

Blogger's note: Haven't heard a word and since we're talking about a 9-day extension (CBA expires July 1; trade exception is July 9) not sure what the thinking would be.

[Matt M]

I like the break down of the positions. Although Dirk is ahead of Bosh, Kidd ahead of Bibby and the Mav's bench ahead of the Heat's bench the gap isn't as great as the one between Lebron/Marion and Wade/Stevenson or Terry. I can't see how the Mavs will be able stop those two and not have everyone else go off, unless Marion and Stevenson play out of their minds. Entirely possible I guess. Maybe Carlisle has a few tricks up his sleeve.

[Jeff]

Thanks for the Arthur Carlson reference - to this day one of my two favourite lines from WKRP. The other - Dr. Johnny Fever standing at the entrance to Jennifer's apartment and saying "in the spirit of Christmas I killed a tree for you".

[The Poor Soul]

Mr. Dunahee:

Thanks for the Ed Norton recognition.
Awaaaay I go.

R. Van Gleeson III

[D-Mac Ottawa]

Morning Doug,
That's a fine Side A list of sidekicks you got going there. Here's a Side B to kick around: Jimmy Olsen, Tommy Chong, Ed McMahon, Barney Rubble and the one and only Barney Fife. Hey Goob. Cheers!

[sam]

Sitcom sidekicks - Barney Fife from Mayberry - followed closely by Buddy and Sally from the Dick Van Dyke Show. Am I Showing my age?

This NBA Finals should be great entertainment - looking forward to them - Although, I'm not sure who to cheer for - Heat or Mavs? - Compelling stories on each team.

[Anthony R]

Like the sitcom sidekick list. I think Kramer was a great character but I lost all respect for Michael Richards when this happened: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pp6WC1Ocz4

No excuse to use that word.

Happy Finals Day :)

[Rob.V]

I actually think the key to the series will be Marions defence and the Mavs bench... and whether or not they are effective in spacing out Miami.
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If JJ can penatrate and kick as effectively as he did against the Lakers then it will be very interesting to see how the Heat handle an onslaught of 3-pointers being dropped on them. Will they revert to 1-5 Basketball? If they do, the Mavs win.
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Philly, Boston, and Chicago we're light years behind the Mavs offensive prowess however it's still going to be tough to get 2 in Miami.
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The Heat and the Mavs were both a league best 28-13 on the road so thats interesting as well.
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I agree, the Mavs can get 1 on the road... but I can see the Heat winning 1 on the reaod as well.
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Can Chalmers bottle JJ? The Heat may have to put Wade on Barea at some point... but that still leaves Terry, Kidd, Stojacovic open somewhere on the floor.
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I keep going back and forth on my pick. Probably because the Mavs have the better "team" offence... but the Heat seem to have the best "closer" in LBJ.
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I can't wait for this series to get started. This makes for one of the most intriguing Finals we've seen in years. Let's hope it's a "classic" whoever wins.

[Lorie]

Hey Doug,
So, a slight nod to Elaine Benes and that's it??? Your selections are all male? Well, I consulted my Merriam-Webster and the definition of sidekick is: "a person closely associated with another as a subordinate or partner". So, girls ARE allowed! And here are my choices:
5. Samantha Jones (all those shoes! oh, and men...)
4. Sally Rogers (she was a working woman! on a TV Show! and in comedy yet!)
3. Ethel Mertz (sharp-tongued, gossipy, loyal...what else would you want in a friend?)
2. Rhoda Morgenstern (wisecracking constantly - chiefly at her own expense!)
And The Best:
1. Maryanne Thorpe: given to inappropriate remarks, caustic wit, always fabulously fashionable and fuelled by an endless supply of martinis.
Now, can you name the shows they were on??? (And don't worry...my shows are as old as yours!) Cheers!

Blogger's note: Had to check Samantha Jones, truth be told; but nailed DIck Van Dyke, I Love Lucy, Mary Tyler Moore and Cybill

[Nick M]

Heat in 7.
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I am nonplussed by your prediction???

Blogger's note: Meanwhile, I am quite plussed. I think

[Penny]

Doug - How come the play-offs have such late start times? Trying to watch a game that starts at 10:00 in the Maritimes means that it doesn't finish until almost 1. Even the games on Sunday night are late. Regular season games start at 7 when they're in the East - why the 2 hour difference?

Blogger's note: It's all for TV

[511]

Re your Kramer choice, Kramer was uniquely hilarious and is firmly ensconced as a true icon of the show, but George is the character who was most integral to the majority of the stories and actual comedy, to my mind. If we’re talking second bananas, anyway.

[LeeZ]

Damn, I got here too late, almost all of my sidekick picks have been taken. I'll offer up one that no one has mentioned yet: Hank from the Larry Sanders Show. In addition to being an actual sidekick on the faux-talk show, he has the best signature line: HEY now! And played by the great Jeffry Tambor, what's not to like?

[Kent]

People who are picking Dallas are just picking with their hearts. The advantages for Miami are so huge, the two biggest being home court in a 2-3-2 format and superstar depth. The coaching match-up that appears even is also tilted in favor of Miami because of Pat Riley. Spo will turn to him for lots of advice and motivational techniques during the series. I think Smith's Freudian slip ("Riley Spoelstra") is actually very apt. Heat in 6 or less.

[joe]

I see Miami winning in 5 games. They're on such a roll and James is just playing at a high level that it will be hard for Dallas to keep him in check. I think the surprise in the series will be Bosh. He'll do a good job containing Dirk.

[Ian]

An x factor could be C Butler; if he can return to spell Marion at the 3 and provide an extra 6 fouls on LB it could be interesting.

[Vsem]

Jim Ignatowski over Louis De Palma? Not a chance. De Palma is one of the greatest sitcom characters of all time. I'm also going to throw out Dan Fielding from Night Court.

[The J]

Another thought on Dirk is that Haslem was the one who covered him in the finals last time, and he did a good job of it. So between him, Bosh, Joel, and maybe Lebron they have some options to throw at him. But he is still hard to stop, and if they have to focus too much on him, what about all of those deadly shooters?

I remember DeShawn Stevenson was the one who called Lebron "overrated" back in the Washington/Cleveland rivalry they had going. I wonder if that rears it's ugly head back in to this series.

Caron Butler is apparently cleared to play but not expected to return as he is rusty and might take away from the team. But his defense was crucial in beating Miami in the regular season, so I would wonder if he might make an appearance if desperate. That is, essentially, what Miami has done by bringing back Haslem.

I used to hate those 9pm starts when I was a kid wanting to watch MJ and the Bulls win their championships. I was allowed to watch about the first hour before being sent to bed to find out who won some pretty exciting games in the morning. I wonder if the NBA ever thinks of that very important demographic of young'uns. They are the ones dragging parents to games and buying merchandise. They will be the ones buying the tickets too when they grow up. Would a more appropriate start time be a good way to develop a young fan base?

Some more sidekicks: Andy Richter, GOB on Arrested Development, Stewie or Brian on Family Guy, Niles Crane, Carlton, Ron McClain and Chris Bosh (he was D. Wade's "lap-dog" after all).

[GM]

* On the heels of the Great 'Non-Plussed' Controversy of '11, we now come across 'proscribed'. Shouldn't it be 'prescribed'? I can't make the definition of the former fit into the meaning of the sentence used.

* As for the deadline, nine days is nine days. The rule states one year, not 'around one year give or take'. If that were the case, the Raps could hold onto it a few days past a year, too, but there's no way the league would allow that.

[D-Mac Ottawa]

Chester Goode, Uncle Tanoose, Dr. Watson, Spock, Tonto, Mingo, Tinkerbelle, Smee, Chewbacca, Sam Gamgee. And Maynard G. Crebbs. Robin is not worthy to carry the pointy-toed sneaks of any of these. (Feeling any younger, @sam?)
There are so many potential X Factors in this series finale, it's dizzying. Play ball!
Which reminds me, thanks Doug, for that amazing Mudcat clip yesterday. A wonderful world indeed... Cheers.

[drew]

Doug. I always thought it was Herb Tarlic that said that phrase. Thanks for the correction..A question though what about the Jimmer? I saw that he was working out for the Knicks, but I haven`t heard his name spoken in a while. Where do you see him falling to? Ow and the side kick for the movies would have to be Jackie Gleason in Smokey and the Bandit..." daddy look at that big ugly Gator!"... " THAT REMINDS ME SON,I GOT TO CALL YOUR MOMMA!" Gleason classic..

Blogger's note: Jimmer? Late lottery, mid-first at best

[joeu]

Niles Crane
Agent 99

@LeeZ Hank YES

@kent of course I pick with my heart, it's professional competitive sports, not professional gambling !

Veronica Palmer ( a 1 season show, so I'll just say that deRossi KILLED )
Janitor

Stephen Colbert ( Not a sitcom, but The Daily Show is Genius )

[Adam]

Hey Doug,

Jays won their 4th in a row last night and are in the thick of things in their division. Starter Jo-Jo Reyes got his first win in 28 starts which spanned 3 seasons. He went the complete game in a Jays romp.

Also I pick Mavs in 7. They shock the Heat in game 1, Heat take #2, Mavs win 2 of 3 at home, lose game 6 in MIA but pull it out in game 7. should be a fun series for all.