Breaking it down as we seldom do; and an obligatory list

Well, well, well.

A game!

How about that?

A rather interminable wait’s finally over and let’s try something a bit different, let’s see how these guys match up. With some other stuff thrown in just to break up the monotony of, you know, all inside basketball.

I bequeath to you …

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Point guards

Mike Bibby vs. Jason Kidd

No, it’s not going to be a track meet by any stretch of the imagination; instead of tortoise and the hare, let’s think tortoise and, well, the tortoise.

But Kidd’s been playing like he’s 28 instead of 38 and is on-court leadership really is impressive.

Advantage: Mavs.

Shooting guard

Dwyane Wade vs. DeShawn Stevenson

Every time I hear Wade say he’s not hurt, my man Bill comes to mind (“The lady doth protest too much, methinks) and while I don’t mean to call Wade a lady, you get my point. Still, as we saw at the end of Game 5 against the Bulls, he can still be pretty dang good.

And the lingering memory of him shooting a kabillion free throws the last time these teams met in the Final has to haunt the Mavs.

Advantage: Heat.

Small forward

LeBron James vs. Shawn Marion

Oh, James can be vilified and not liked and all that but, man, can he play. And he’s playing at as high a level as he ever has. And something tells me he’s ready to really put his stamp on this series. If Marion can even slow him a bit, Mavs may well win the series.

Advantage: Heat.

Now, time for a break.

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Well, let’s go with one major league digression here, ‘cause it’s what we do.

Know how the other day I posed the thought-provoking query “Ignatowski or Kramer?” Well, of course it got me thinking about Sitcom Sidekicks and who might have been, or is, the best.

Now, it’s difficult to differentiate when think about it. Is Elaine a sidekick as well as George and Kramer? How about Robert and Frank Barone? Neither? Or each? All of ‘em?

See my point?

Anyway, I’ll put my top five up against your top five any old time. Mine are, relatively, old so you might not remember ‘em but that’s what youtube is for:

Klinger

Seriously, if someone says Section Eight don’t your ears perk up? And how many of you want to go to Toledo?

Ed Norton

Maybe the original, no? And if there was a Raccoon Lodge in Hazelville, I’d find someone to invited in. Besides, he followed the June Taylor Dancers and you know how I feel about them.

Kramer

Yes, I have him all over the Rev. Jim, probably not as close as some of you may think.

And when I’m done this gig, I think an internship at Kramerica might be good; or maybe I’ll open a pizza joint where you make your own pies.

Norm Peterson

Now, seriously, you didn’t think I could possibly leave him off the list, do you? I know I’m not exactly him but …

Arthur Carslon

How can you not have on the list the guy who uttered perhaps the single greatest line in sitcom history:

“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”

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And now back to our regularly-scheduled stuff

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Power forwards

Chris Bosh vs. Dirk Nowitzki

I don’t care how well Bosh is playing – and he’s been excellent in the post-season, he’s not in Dirk’s class right now. Yes, Bosh often holds the key to a Heat win; but Dirk’s been out this world.

Advantage: Mavs

Centres

Joel Anthony vs. Tyson Chandler

As the anchor of Dallas’s defence, Chandler’s an imposing figure and good shot-blocker. He’s got some solid offensive skills, too. Anthony’s post defence is very good, he’s an aggressive rebounder and there won’t be many easy layups.

Advantage: Mavs

Bench

Mario Chalmers, Mike Miller, Udonis Haslem vs. J.J. Barea, Jason Terry, Peja Stojakovic.

Dallas gets all kinds of offensive production – but not a lot of defence – out of its bench, the Heat subs tend to hold the fort while the big guns get a blow.

Advantage: Mavs.

Coaching

Erik Spoelstra vs. Rick Carlisle

Neither guy has been here before but Carlisle’s resume is a bit more impressive, with two other trips to conference finals. Riley Spoelstra has more creative players at his disposal for end-game situations.

Advantage: None.

So, how’d I get to Heat in seven?

Well, home court’s a big factor, no question about it and with the 2-3-2 format, I think it probably takes Dallas two wins in Miami to take the series and I don’t know if they can do it.

Enjoy the games.

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Well, there goes 16-0.

Mighty Rockies give up two in the bottom of the last inning and go down to a tough 12-11 victory to the Dastardly Other Guys.

Great game, though; the kids had fun, I’ll play one-run games all year. As we told ‘em right out of the gate, a lot of baseball is managing disappointment and failure (making outs, making errors) but the glory of the game is that there’s always another one soon and we’re back at it tomorrow.

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Of all the things I’m thankful for covering the hoops instead of the TOD?

No shaving cream pies.

Really, it’s getting a tad ridiculous, isn’t it?

I know the dude won his first start ever last night and that’s well and good but to smear his face in celebration?

Dunno about that.

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We’re here tonight for an IGBT, right?

And I know the 9 p.m. East start scares some of you and it is indeed late but my friends down there tell me tip will be right about 9, the pre-game show will take care of all the other stuff, allowing them to get going almost at the proscribed time.

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Comments

[Cluck Kent]

What about Dale Gribbel?

I suspect Dallas is going to turn the tables on Miami this time around. Last time they met, I believe Dallas was favoured but lost. This year, I believe they will get even with Miami. In any case, I'll be pulling for Dirk and the Mavs, imagining what might have been if Chandler had come this way.

So you told us who your brain was picking, Doug. How about your heart? Who would you like to see win?

Blogger's note: My heart wants good stories and games that are close but not buzzer beaters

[Aditya]

believe it or not, miami is winning in 5....

[EricNS]

The fictional Radar was from the real Ottumwa, Iowa (100 km southeast of Des Moines). Corrects spelling. Knew a guy from there...

[Lorie]

@sam: You're not old unless you remember watching this splendid sidekick on "Your Show of Shows": Imogene Coca. Now,she was before my time. And even Doug's, I believe. But not D-Mac Ottawa. That guy's old. (Maynard G. Krebs???) And speaking of age, it's been said you know you're old when faced with two temptations, you choose the one that'll get you home by 9pm. Doesn't count though if it's for the IGBT. :) Bring on Game 1! Cheers!

[D-Mac Ottawa]

The night Richard Milhous Nixon was re-elected by the largest landslide in U.S. history to that date (and the voting public knew full well of this thing called "Watergate"), I was sitting on the gym floor of the Ottumwa High Bulldogs – Savoy Brown in concert – at high, high decibels – and plotting a lengthy work/study program abroad...
Didn't see Radar, though. Cheers.

[D-Mac Ottawa]

Old? I'll give you old: I remember Steve Allen introducing the likes of Tom Poston, Louie Nye, Bill Dana (remember Jose Jimenez?), John Byner, Jerry Lee Lewis, Frank Zappa and the one and only (again) Don Knotts! I remember Louie, the wonder dog, from Ed Sullivan! Hell, I remember Ike! Home by 9?! Hell, I haven't been out past 7 in decades! Old schmold. Play ball already! Cheers.

[doug]

Arthur Spooner played by Jerry Stiller on King of Queens is hilarious he has had some classic lines...Radar was good as well, although he is more known to me for walking away from that show in a contract dispute,all-time meat headed move....oh and speaking of meathead, Edith was a classic sidekick and the kids on Modern Family steal the show many times.......I think this will be a good series although I must say I lack enthusiasm for it...the Thrashers are now the Jets?,Moose whatever...good for them,...and another prime time NCAA college coach resigns,what a surprise and what a sad,sad situation U.S. university sports is, there's the definition of a cesspool, but the truly sad part is Tressel will sign for some huge contract and be the next messiah...they should receive automatic 2 year coaching bans if they want to clean up their mess and give the players a stipend....go Jays go keep those bats humming...

[doug]

this father shouldn't complain when Father's day arrives and he gets nothing...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/31/dad-drops-daughter-foul-ball-dodgers_n_869069.html

[john]

Hey GM, I think you are most likely correct in that it will expire, however I am just wondering that because the league shortened the year by locking out players and thus stopping all transactions if it would allow the Raps a year of useful trade exemption.