I'm going to know a secret

 

Moist day here in Secaucus.

And by moist I mean a hard rain, dark and gloomy and about as far from delightful as you can imagine. The thunder’s a nice touch, though.

Anyway …

-

Hey, another first.

The NBA’s asked me to be hang out in the actual room where they conduct the lottery tonight as some kind of unaffiliated witness or something like that.

Not sure what it’ll be like but it’s got to be sort of cool and it means I’ll know before even Bryan how the Raptors have made out.

But I sure can’t tell you.

If I remember correctly, reading last year from someone who was in the room, there are no cellphones, no blackberrys, no I-anythings or tablets of any kind.

In fact, the word I got from the NBA guy was that we’ll be “sequestered” from about 7 p.m. until after airing of the lottery TV show.

But it will be kind of cool to see the reaction of the people in the room when the numbers pop up and the top three teams are picked. After that, I imagine there’ll be a lot of standing around and chatting and waiting to go interview people.

-

Think I’ve only been at one other lottery – it’s hardly a dream assignment – and all I can really remember is sitting there after in the tent they used as a dining area with Glen Grunwald and he’s holding a beer and looking downcast.

It was 2003. The LeBron draft.

-

Yesterday seemed to be one of those days we get this time of year with no games, no news, no nothing really and the guys I feel most sorry for are colleagues trying to drum up off-day stories or set-up stories that all seem to be the same.

It’s got to be especially hard in the Chicago-Miami series because they’ve got an extra day off between Games 1 and 2 and then two extra days between Games 2 and 3 and you can only write “the Heat have to rebound better” so many times.

But it is a TV-dominated world we live in and that’s got everything to do with the protracted start to the conference finals.

In a perfect world, every series would be like the West, a game every other night. A rhythm develops for players and coaches and fans and the media that travels to cover these things and all seems right in the world.

But, because both of the Eastern Conference semifinals finished early, and because they couldn’t play in Chicago on Monday night, we’ve got all this time to kill to start the series.

-

I, like Donald Trump, would like to announce I am not going to run for president of the United States.

Seriously, doesn’t the fact a self-absorbed clown like Donald Trump (and I mean that in the best possible terms) think even in his wildest dreams that he could be the president of the United States scare you at some level?

I half wish he’d run so someone could force him to prove he was born on Earth and not in some other galaxy where goofy hair is a symbol of something.

Anyway …

-

I wake up, turn on the TV to the usual Mike And Mike fare, as I do when I’m in the States, and the one Mike’s not there.

Who is?

Jalen!

Replete in a Kronk Gym sweatshirt.

The guy’s got style.

-

The one thing we should be looking for tonight when the West final gets going (and some of you will have to tell me about it, I’ll be writing lottery stories for most of it) is how the Thunder react to the circumstances.

That’s a young team there, playing in its biggest game ever (well, at least since it forsook Seattle) and Dallas can be one of the loudest and toughest places to play.

I guess the one thing the Thunder can draw on is its Game 7 experience and they handled that quite well, especially Durant and Westbrook, who have to be great if they’re going to win.

But it’s one thing to play well at home against a relatively-inferior opponent; it’s quite something else to play on the road against a veteran team well-rested.

-

This might be a fun update.

Q: Greetings Doug! So I caught some of the halftime hijinks during the Heat-Bulls game, and Sir Charles was asked what his TV theme music would be if he was walking. His response: the Miami Vice theme.

I figure you might want to have fun with this as you did promise last week to list your favourite TV theme songs. So what would be the theme for you walking? Dodging chores? Channel surfing?

My personal favourites are the themes to "The Sopranos" and "Night Court".

Cheers

 

 

Natalie M, Brampton

A: Ah, Natalie, I’m afraid we did this just a couple of months ago and I gave you, in no particular order, the Beverly Hillbillies, The Flintstones, Gilligan’s Island, Cheer (a cliché) and, my fave, Green Acres.

But if you’re looking for a second five …

How about The Addams Family, M*A*S*H*, WKRP in Cincinnati, The Sopranos, for sure, and Laverne and Shirley?

And in a couple of months, maybe we’ll do 11-15.

-

Hey, you know what they have down here?

Happy Hours!

Five dollar appetizers, sales on glasses of Yeungling and a night in Secaucus can be at least mildly passable.

No journey to the big city across the river, seemed to be a lot of work to get there from this tiny hotel and there was work to be done so it was nice to find a good spot down the road.

-

Now, where’s my bag of dry ice. Have to get ready for the lottery.

-

 

 

 

Comments

[Eddy]

Donald Trump's next reality TV show ought to be centered around a competition where the contestants compete to see who can destroy a successful Brand the fastest. Trump and Charlie Sheen can be the judges. In season two, the contestants can compete to see who can resurrect a Brand once it has been destroyed.

[AT]

Wow Doug, being in the room for the lottery has to exponentially increase your interest level in covering the event, no?
Are they given any rules about what can and cannot be reported about what actually happens during the lottery, reactions etc.?

Blogger's note: Not entirely sure on restrictions yet, but it will be cool to see, I hope

[David]

The LeBron draft? 2003.

Blogger's note: Typo. Fixed. Thanks

[John Bastedo]

Doug,

You mean . . . you're a part of the NBA lottery conspiracy!?!?!

Why didn't I see it all along.

[Kyron]

The Lebron draft was 2003, not 2004

Blogger's note: Typo. Fixed. Thanks

[John S]

As much as you downplay the lottery, it's probably the biggest consolation prize to this long suffering Raptors fan who sat through a 60 loss season and now has to watch Chris Bosh in the Conference Finals.

And not to nitpick, but I believe that Lebron was drafted in 2003.

In 2004, Raptors fans all had a reason to hold a beer and look downcast as we got stuck with the monstrosity that was Hoffa.

Blogger's note: Typo. Fixed. Thanks

[AK]

Doug,

Download Nobex Radia App for your blackberry. Go to Sports, Channel 30 ESPN and you can listen to Mike & Mike live for free every morning. You can also download a 30 minute rendition of their show from ESPN's PodCenter.

[JHK]

so they really have balls bouncing for lottery?
or is it all computer generated?

Blogger's note: No, real balls, I'm told. And will see first-hand tonight

[Dave, Cornwall, ON]

Doug:
Congratulations on being a lottery insider. I think it indicates that you have earned a good reputation around the league and that you are well respected. That is something in itself.

[Matt M]

Live Blog the Lottery! Live Blog the Lottery!

As stoked as I am about the Raps having the third best chance to win it is always good to remember that they have an 85% chance to get something other than the first pick (and a variable chance to get a top three depending on who wins the thing, but still less than a 25% chance to get a top three pick even if Minnesota and/or Cleveland win). Not great odds to bet on if you were playing poker. Hopefully Colangelo made a good sacrifice to the right divine being to help the results fall in the Raptors favor.

[Lorie]

Morning Doug,
So, I guess no I-things of anykind includes the IGBT? Too bad. It would have been a blast to get your 'eyewitness to history' take on the whole damn thing. Have you been briefed with extreme thoroughness on all the rules, regulations, restrictions, so you know if they're, like actually abiding by them? (Random thought: why don't you try snagging one of those little balls? Might be worth something on ebay. Which in turn could help fund the Inaugural Irregular BBQ. You've got to think the beer tab alone would be in 6 figures...)
@Natalie! There can NEVER be too much music around here. Good picks, Doug. But do you mind if I insert a little CANCON with Canadian TV show themes? Third best ever? Theme from "Kids in the Hall". Number 2: Littlest Hobo (just thinking of it makes me tear up...) and Number 1: Night Heat. How could you not love this music by former Mandala guitarist Domenic Troiano? Hey, anyone out there remember going to see Mandala on their "Soul Crusade Tour"? Glad I didn't miss that "Opportunity". (That was for you, @doug) Cheers, Doug! Enjoy the glitz and glamour tonight. Reality and Raptors await. :)

[kelsey]

Well it would be really really nice if Raptors got #1 draft this could really give a chance to start rebuilding this franchise. My opinion with that pick K Irving hands down. But again whatever pick they get, I really hope there scouts have been working hard to insure a solid player pick..

OKC is the team in the west for me...But Dallas looks like the stronger team. Hopefully there is good games regardless.

[Ken]

Is it too late for you to bury a lucky Loonie somewhere in the room?

[D-Mac Ottawa]

How do, Doug,
Tres cool to be a lottery insider. Even more tres cool to trump The Donald. A shame to hear you won't be taking a run at the presidency, though.
My clearest recollection of a lottery that 'counted' was the 1969 Vietnam draft: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft_lottery_%281969%29
Blood Bingo at its finest. Pops-a-balls from a hopper. If your birth date was 'charmed' enough to be anywhere from #1 to about #125 in the draft... off you went... I was #289. That meant I was free as a bird. A pair of twins in my high school class were #1. One came back in a box. Even 40+ years later, I don't care much for lotteries, personally. It's a creepy guilt thing. They truly are a crapshoot.
Cheers, though. And go TOD.

[Kent]

If the raptors can't get the #1 pick, I hope they would seriously consider trading down to #6 to #8 for Kemba Walker. He was the best player on the best team in the best conference of a league that produces the most NBA players. I know the best NCAA player is not always the best NBA prospect and that everyone is a little concerned about his size. But he has characteristics that will work anywhere. He knows how to win and he refused to let his team lose in all 14 one-and-out games last year. He actually played best under the bright lights of Madison Sqaure Garden and in nationally televised games. He is the ONE guy in the draft for whom the usual guesswork about intangibles is totally unnecessary.

Blogger's note: Then why would (a) he be there at 6 or 8 and (b) wouldn't you take him at any spot?

[Kent]

Blogger's note: Then why would (a) he be there at 6 or 8 and (b) wouldn't you take him at any spot?

a) in all the mock drafts i have seen, that's where he is. There are some concerns about his size. b) if you can get something back for trading down, don't you do it instead of picking him at #2 or #3?

[Bob Wesley]

Hey Doug,Can you give the lottery machine a lucky rub for the Raptors?

[GM]

* Very cool you get to peak behind the curtain, so to speak. I hope there are no restrictions as to what you're allowed to report after the fact. If there are, they better have good reasons for it. There are enough conspiracy theories out there already. And if there aren't good reasons, you should consider pulling out and then reporting on why you couldn't go along with it.
* You know what would be cool? If you did a kind of IGBT but you didn't post it until after. Sort of a running commentary (without the Irregulars' contribution, of course) of what's going on.
* I tell you, it's not that Donald Trump thinks he could be president that scares me (you need a sizable ego), but that people would actually vote for him. That's the scary part for me.
* Natalie's question was a little more nuanced than your response. I don't think she was asking for your favourite TV theme songs as they are, but to backdrop certain aspects of your life, like walking, doing chores, etc. For instance, Cheers is a great theme song for sitting having a cold one, but not a good walking theme song. Get Smart! would be a great walking theme song, or Seinfeld, for that matter. Maybe Barney Miller.

[Sherman]

I'm sure it's not that exciting to witness the actual NBA draft lottery but from some of us that will never have that chance, it would be worth it to do once in our lives to see the "secret process".

[Paul, Markham]

Doug, did you read this?

http://sports.nationalpost.com/2011/05/17/raptors-colangelo-agree-in-principle-to-multi-year-extension/

[Richard]

A worthwhile read for those among us that will partake in the ensuing NBA draft debate:

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news?slug=mc-spears_weak_2011_nba_draft_awaits_lottery_051611

Some interesting commentary from some NBA GMs, including our very own, who is clearly more of a diplomat than some of the others who refuse to be credited with their quotes.

Doug, chance of a lifetime here. How about you create some sort of diversion during the proceedings tonight, and stick a Raptors logo on the winning ping pong ball? I realize it's a huge risk, but when will you ever have another opportunity like this to come through for your loyal followers...?

I know all Raptor fans will be forever in your debt.

[Steve]

Like Doug said if Walker is that good, how would trading down to sixth be good for the Raps if he goes 5th! If BC really wants him he will take him at 3.

Also Doug, I know you don't really like the what could haves, but I would really like to know how you think the season would have played out if the Barnes signing and the Chandler trades went through. Just curious as to how you think they would have finished in the standing and also how it could have hurt or helped guys like DD and Davis.

[D-Mac Ottawa]

Hola Doug,
OMG, a twitch on the fishing line. Are you already sequestered, or have you had a chance to sidle up to BCo for a comment or two?
Totally unrelated, but wondering what does Jose Bautista need to be doing these days to ensure his food and drink contain no surprise 'additives'?
Cheers, and happy Seacaucussing to ye! (What does one do in Seacaucus post-lottery?)

[kelsey]

I Dont mind if Colangelo gets a extension, he can shake and bake if he makes in correct moves.. My Big problem is I really cant see Triano with the Raptors for much longer so why not just cut him loose now. Im sorry he has been with this Raptors team thru like 3 regimes (Including this stint)...Its too long, Let him go help USA basketball and be a techincal teacher of the Game..Head Coach...NO!!!!

I know Sam could be a jerk like many coaches, but he is surely missed by the Raptors and the Fans!!!! The team takes on the personality of the coach. He could get it out of players. I know Triano hasnt had the best team (players) but in My Opinion I dont think Triano has the right personality for what the Raptors want to achieve... Unless they want more and more losing!!!

[John S]

@ Matt M
Not sure where you get the stat that the Raps have less than a 25% chance to get a top 3 pick.

They currently have the 3rd highest number of lottery balls and I believe they have a 46.9% chance of getting a top 3 pick.

Colangelo has been quoted that he feels that it's a clear cut 2 man draft with a lot of "murkiness" afterwards. The Raps have a 15.6% chance of getting #1 and a 15.7% chance of getting #2 so here's hoping that we get a top 2 pick.