Blown chance in Brooklyn and more TV memories than ever

Remember back in the day when fans – not me, but others, I’m told -- would get up in the morning, or stay up at night to see or hear the hockey scores because they wanted to know who won the games?

Now it seems almost every day no one cares about the results because they’re inundated by stories about slurs, head hits, concussions, illegal checks and any manner of stuff quite disassociated from winners and losers.

It won’t make all that much difference where we live because the game is in the blood for those of a certain age it seems but for young fans just starting to grow sports allegiances, and in other parts of North America, isn’t this starting to even more marginalize the game?

No one talks about players very much. It’s who said what to whom on the ice, who got hit in the head, who got hit from behind into the boards, who’ll get suspended today and for how long.

Personally, it’s not a big deal to me, I consider myself somewhat of an anti-pucks guy and have been for years, mainly because I can’t stand the scripted fights.

But if there was a scintilla of interest, it’s waning even more because very little of what I read has to do with the actual playing of the game.

It’s the only sport in the world, it seems, with so many cloudy issues taking away from what it really is and I know there is a great big land to the south of us that they are still – unsuccessfully – trying to turn on to the game that will shrug its collective shoulders at the omnipresent stories of “other” things.

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Big fumble in Brooklyn, methinks, where that Jay Z guy (I hear he’s a crooner/businessman or something) announced yesterday that the Nets will be, um, the Nets when they move from Newark in a year or so.

Boring.

Double boring.

Didn’t they miss a grand opportunity to “re-brand” the franchise with a new name, new logo, new stuffed animal, new group of June Taylor Dancers to somehow reflect either the times or their new home?

Not suggesting they should have gone with Dodgers or anything but surely there was some nickname more exciting than Nets.

But speaking off, this Malcolm Gladwell piece (and he’s a must-read in every New Yorker) very clearly lays out what’s going on with the Nets, their ownership and why they really are where they are.

Paints NBA ownership, at least in New Jersey/Brooklyn, in a rather unflattering light if you have to listen to them squawk about finances and how much they’re struggling.

I’d presume the players association is making sure all the right people read that piece.

Fans should, too.

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Oh, man, how cool is this leftover?

Q: Doug, if the lockout isn't settled, and the entire season is wiped out, how will they determine draft order? (Haven't seen it in a while, so I thought I'd take care of it!)

Now, on to a question: How a list of top five favourite TV commercials? I know that most of them are mind-numbing, but once in a while, so of them are pretty good (until they show them 2000/week!)

Take care!

Tim H, Windsor

A: You mean people still watch commercials? Thought everyone clicked over to some other show when they came on?

Anyway, here’s the thing:

I am of a certain vintage and would like to keep this little space more old than new, more nostalgic than cutting edge.

So …

When you said commercials, these immediately flashed to mind:

Singalong?

Who doesn’t like a slinky?

Sappy?

Oh, yeah, I’d love to teach the world to sing. Off key.

Cute?

I could never get Super Brother to try the liver. Guess he was smarter than Mikey.

Cartoon?

Tell me you didn’t try this with a sibling or a neighbourhood kid back in the day?

An everyday product romanticized.

Oh, that zany Mr. Whipple. Okay, that’s a little creepy in some ways.

Now, digest those but don’t forget:

I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.

Where’s the beef?

Tastes great! Less filling!

Popeil’s pocket fisherman

Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun!

There, that should get Irregulars through the day.

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Tampa Bay beats the Yankees, the Red Sox cough one up to the Orioles and it’s a dead heat for the AL wild card with two days left in the season?

We, my friends, are witnessing from afar one of the all-time greatest collapses in sports history – and this is far more about Boston choking than the Rays playing out of their heads – and I would assume everyone figures it’ll be complete and the Sox will lose one of their last two games and finish third in the division.

Worst part about it? In last night’s game, Jacoby Ellsbury, who is by far the best Boston player and a legit MVP candidate in many minds, almost makes a miraculous play at the wall in centre but can’t hang on to the ball for what turned into a three-run inside-the-park home run.

That kinda bites; it’d have been far more appropriate if one of the arsonists on the pitching staff had given up six or seven rockets in a row; Ellsbury deserves better.

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So the craft loses another giant as my friend S. Brunt over at The Paper That Doesn’t Seem To Care Much About Sports is taking leave to go to Sportsnet.

He’s one of the greats in our industry and it just got a bit lonelier over here in the newspaper/interwebs side of things.

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Small group meetings betwixt owners and union today in New York evokes more yawns.

But we are maybe two, two and a half weeks away from the date they’d have to considered canceling the start of the regular season so there is now has to be some sense of urgency.

The interesting thing to me is there seems to be a widespread suggestion there is a divide among the owners, with some insisting on sacrificing a season or part of one if they have to to get a hard cap, another group that might be amenable to a more flexible system.

Seeing how it’s usually the players who have divides or rifts – guys who need/want/can’t go without their money against those who’ll hold firm we do seem to be in uncharted waters.

But, again, wake me when there’s real news.

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They have bacon jam????

Can’t wait for the chocolate beer or sour cream and onion ice cream.

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Comments

[Bart]

Hi Doug, I remember hearing you on Prime Time Sports and Bob McCown saying he'll take care of finding you a job with Rogers. Any updates? Will you be joining Brunt?

Blogger's note: And leave all this behind? Nah, nothing going on

[Greg]

Well Malcolm Gladwell wrote about it in the New Yorker, so now let's pay attention! Of course some of us knew who people like Daniel Goldstein were years ago, you know, back when they actually needed help and before they'd been stepped on and forced out? It's not like the basic arguments have changed suddenly. But better late than never I suppose.

[Lorie]

Morning Doug!
Cowboys have always been one of my weaknesses. And cute fluffy animals. Put 'em together and I'm buying what you're selling. (What WERE they selling here anyway???)
http://youtu.be/NJevzF8uIgw
And as was revealed here a few days ago, who among us hasn't done some questionnable stuff just to pay the phone bill (Doug Did Pucks!)? Or settle up a bar tab? Well, add Jason Alexander's name to that list. Although, a chance to "act" with the legendary Mr. Berra must've been pretty cool!
http://youtu.be/NvEC1qZuehI

[Greg]

I apologize if that sounded sort of snotty in a "I was here first nyah nyah!" sort of way, not really my intention but I can see how it might read like that. There's no real obvious and compelling reason for you to write about the Nets, Atlantic Yards etc. at all given that you're not even in the same country let alone a resident of the state that is abusing its authority, so I should probably be commending you for mentioning the Gladwell piece. But it is sort of frustrating to see outrage being stirred up by Gladwell now, when the same public outrage years ago might have actually made a difference.

[K King]

Doug, you forgot about Jay and McCain Superfries...."You remember Jay"?

[A. J. Falconer]

Ask and you shall receive! Chocolate Beer: http://www.mirabilis.ca/archives/000496.html

[D-Mac Ottawa]

Great list, Doug! And then you have your little Coke kids rolling around with puppies... aww... and then you have your sales pitch of sales pitches: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0tWONdhyO0&feature=related
Oh yeah, and then, how about these gems, eh (which Gilligan, Schwartz and Wyle must have marvelled at!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEx44ETP8Ac&feature=related and this'n: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iA5DTejequw&feature=related
Got milk? Don't leave home without it. Just do it. Cheers.

[DannyFromFreddy]

In terms of newer commercials, how can you resist Betty White and Abe Vagoda in this Snickers commercial?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18ya0-OZ58s

[LeeZ]

Ahhh, the Slinky ad brings back memories. Not to me, of course. I wasn't even a gleam in my father's eye back then. To people as old as Doug. Personally, I'm only 54 so I wouldn't know about such things...
Ahem.
Here's my offering in the best commercials category. This one was actually ground breaking. It may seem ordinary and routine today, but back then it was revolutionary for commercials: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yulxnzAsWEM

[LogicalDude]

Geez Doug, that bit about hockey was low, even for you. I know you aren't a fan of the sport but how would you feel if Griff or Cox continually kept bashing basketball? You call hockey "the only sport in the world, it seems, with so many cloudy issues taking away from what it really is" but what about baseball and the steroids years? Football and the concussions and the fact that no former players live past age 60? Or even Basketball which is now in a potentially year-long lockout plus the sport with the least parity? Fact is that no sport is perfect but continually singling out hockey is just annoying. I really don't get why some of us in the north get our kicks from trying to kill a sport that so many people love.

Blogger's note: Griff and Cox can do whatever they please, actually. And I wouldn't care a whit.

[Josh C.]

Hey Doug,

There are tons of great chocolate beers out there. One seasonal release just came out at the LCBO, Southern Tier Choklat, which is an imperial stout:

http://lcbo.com/lcbo-ear/lcbo/product/details.do?language=EN&itemNumber=173534

It's a bit sweet but pairs great with chocolate dessert.

[doug]

I apologize when yesterday I mentioned that Malcolm Gladwell was a freelance journalist when in fact he is a writer with the New yorker, I knew he had written a few books so I just assumed..you know what they say about assuming...anyways a fine writer and presents informative, lucid articles...and to @Greg I can understand the outrage in how they circumvented the process to evict many tenants, change a whole area's personality but in fairness to Gladwell he has brought all this forth to people's attention that otherwise wouldn't have known of such a slimy deal...so you have my sympathies but don't shoot the messenger in Gladwell...in regards to the Red Sox if they blow it and who knows at this point if they will or not I honestly feel bad for Franconna, as I am from the school of thought that thinks coaching does make a difference but in Franconna's case I can't blame him at all...his starting pitching is woeful, beyond woeful it was just a matter of it catching up to them, Epstein did nothing at the trading deadline to improve the staff at all, therein to me lies the problem....you know with the Red Sox it always amazes me how there ex-players have no loyalty to the team such as ex-Yanks do for instance or visa versa..ask Pedro, Rice,Clemons, or even Damon who nullified a trade back to Boston just a couple years ago, there is something there and even ted Williams wasn't delighted to be there,,,here is a interesting piece (on John Updike's essay) on Ted and his last day at-bat as a Red Sox, not as happy a occurrence as it should have been,,although Ted was Ted, the fans never ever treated him with the respect he deserved as war vet, best hitter in baseball....but somehow that seems to be how Red Sox fans end all their relationships with a lot of their great players...Fisk and Yaz aside the fans and the organization it seems has this adversarial relationship with ex-players and it is confounding to me as to why....there is a commercial that is on today that makes me laugh but for the life of me it has slipped my mind, guess it isn't doing it's job then..but those e-trade kid talking ones are funny, and Where'e the Beef is the all-time classic to me...

http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/24/opinion/ted-williams-updike/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

[Jodun]

Doug I'm sad that we don't have NBA this year... It's almost like all of that energy and momentum the league had after an awesome season has evaporated due to a handful of stubborn greedy businessmen (players, owners, agents). It's almost like the lockout is a reflection of what is going on in America right now. The people with the most money are fighting for every last scrap while the rest of America looks on with googly eyes, powerless to do anything but whimper at the gluttony for money. If the NBA was a flawed business system, it wouldn't have operated as well as it did last season. And if it truly does have a flawed design, why are they putting a bunch of greedy stake holders in charge of sorting things out? Obviously both sides are biased to getting a better deal. When is it time to call in a mediator to break down the barriers created by these bullheaded businessmen?

[D-Mac Ottawa]

Hi Doug, great question by @Jodun. Has 'outside' mediation ever been called in to settle NBA matters?
Saw "Moneyball" over the weekend. Highly recommend it. Imagine it will be in the Oscar mix with "The Help" come February. Highly recommend "The Help", too, by the way. Cheers.

Blogger's note: No mention of any kind of mediation; don't forget there are still proceedings in front of the NLRB to deal with.

[The J]

Nets - I see your point, but they are after all a team with a long legacy (going back to the ABA). I understand re-branding, but not at the sake of throwing away real history (as opossed to a team celebrating their 15 years). Not to mention I'm certain they will re-brand in other ways (jerseys, team colours, etc.). Plus it's not like they are moving far. It's all basically New York, unlike a move from Seattle to OKC where you might want to start a new identity.

Re: Chocolate beer - I've sampled one from the LCBO. Not bad either. It was basically a dark beer with a slight chocolate after taste. Not bad. The coffee beer's aren't bad either. Never had sour cream and onion ice cream, but I have had beer ice cream (at a Toronto Beerfest). I would say when you've had as many beers as you would at a Toronto Beerfest, the subtle beer flavour in the ice cream is lost. Mainly because at that point even a carrot would have a subtle beer taste.

Remember, I can put my arm back on, but you can't. Please play safe.

[Tim H.]

Great commercials, Doug! Thanks!

Here's another 'revolutionary' one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhsWzJo2sN4

And how could you forget:
"A little dab'll do ya."
"Pop, pop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is."
"The bigger the burger, the better the burger - the burgers are better at Burger King."
"LSMFT"

(One thing from watching some of those old commercials is that you realize you're glad they took cigarette commercials off!)

[Woodrow]

Doug

You didn't answer the guys question about next year's draft if this season is cancelled

Blogger's note: No, I didn't, any of the kazillion times it's been asked and I won't until, say, February if they cancel the season. Long-running joke here; I don't play those silly reindeer games

[doug]

in reference to your "chocolate beer" statement my brother and I were in Smokeless Joe's in the entertainment district on John Street one night across from the movie complex/bookstore (it is now closed and not only was it the smallest bar I have ever been in but it was on a slant, or maybe that was me after a few brews) but they had this incredible beer menu with brews from all over the world....so we were drinking and tasting all these beers when i saw this chocolate beer from Quebec so I thought it will be sweet but I'll give it a try....well it was the best beer I have ever tasted, and I get it whenever I can,it tastes like no other it makes me crave some now...it's Maudite and here is a blurp on it....it's like gold Jerry gold...

http://abeerforeverybody.wordpress.com/2009/08/25/la-maudite/

http://abeerforeverybody.wordpress.com/2009/08/25/la-maudite/

[Cluck Kent]

I grew up watching and loving hockey just like 99.9% of all kids growing up in rural Ontario. The speed of the game, the artistry. I understood fighting to be the result of real passion for the game.

But I don't see hockey the same way any more for both the reasons you mentioned and as well because I think the way it's played today diminishes it's potential to be a world class sport. Enforcers and staged fights only detract from the best qualities of hockey. But that of course, is just my opinion and I realize it's a minority view.

[Sheikyurbouti]

I can't access youtube (to provide a linkl) from this hotel computer, but one of my fav commercials of all time is an old VW one, when they introduced the first non-bug model over here and had a guy escaping prison looking for his VW escape vehicule, which he ran away from.

I see an ESPN article about Toronto being worst sports, blah, blah is kicking up a stink. I must say, I went to a S.F. Giants game last night and couldn't get over the support, from a packed house, that they got throughout the game. I know they won it all just a year ago, but still,,,, the passion was incredible.

[Greg]

"Remember, I can put my arm back on, but you can't. Please play safe."
-------------------

The other War Amps ad that was memorable from my childhood was the one with Karl Hilzinger flying across the snow in his silver suit

[billy]

Wow there goes another Tranna non hockey writer bashing hockey again.
Reason why there's so many negative stories in Tranna papers about hockey?
Because its mainly ffrom non hockey writes who hate hockey
But guys like Smith never say anything bad about their fav-o-rite sport.
Because first off they're nothing but cheerleaders and shills.
And second, they're afraid if they write negative things about basketbll it may scare off its minisucle fan base
Their ain't nothing wrong with hockey that ainb't wrong with th other sports Smith.
Its just you haters can't keep yourself from running it down.
Probably because its too CAnadian for you.
Like stick to watcing your who cares NBA pal.
Have you noticed 99% of Canada could care less if it ever comes back?
You and the rest of the hockey haters at the Star should travel more in this country.
Instead of worrying about those people down south so much.
Who incidentally could care less about you.

Blogger's note: What's up? They got the electricity turned back on in your village? Or did Mom and Dad pay the bill finally?

[Tabber]

Billy's just out of his league here, he usually posts on another paper's website - or should I say trolls. I really wish his parents hadn't got him his Blackberry, the haiku style is really irritating, although no more so than the illiteracy. Billy, move out of the basement, the mold has poisoned your brain. If you really think everyone should do nothing but praise that gladiatorial sport, we have just as much right to demand that you ease of on the other sports, you know, the ones that people all over the world enjoy. Oh, and nothing wrong with hockey that isn't wrong with the other sports? Nah, concussions aren't a problem, are they? You'll no doubt be first in line to support kids who can't function at a high level due to being hit in the head a couple of times - yeah, right. Get off your freakin' high horse, sonny boy, move out of the basement, and, seriously, PLEASE get some help.