A good choice but is it the best one?

Anyone else find it, I don’t know, odd or ironic or something, that Sports Illustrated bestowed its Sportswoman and Sportsman of the Year awards on Pat Summit and Mike Krzyzewski yesterday?

I know it’s got nothing to do with Bernie Fine or Jerry Sandusky and the absolute mess two of the more high profile American college athletics programs find themselves in these days but still …

First off, let me say I have no quarrel with the career accomplishments of Summit and Coach K, they have performed their duties with dignity and high levels of success and are likely worthy of any honour bestowed upon them.

But I wonder about their selections as Sportswoman and Sportsman of the Year.

I guess you can’t say anything for certain or that something needs to solely be one way but it strikes me that it should be, you know, athletes who are given such accolades. Men and women who get on the field of play and do things unimaginably well, either in record-breaking fashion or in one-off accomplishments that are jaw-dropping in their scope.

Coaches, especially American college coaches it seems, are too iconic for me, too lionized, given far too much credit. It’s been mentioned before, it should be mentioned again, their importance and significance is often out of whack with reality.

While I know the selection of Summit and Krzyzewski can easily be defended – and SI’s story here lays it out in typically brilliant fashion – but I also wonder if the choice wasn’t at least – in the back of the minds if nothing else – a way to show that, yes, the NCAA has good people leading the teenagers they are charged with growing into women and men.

A solid message and no doubt true.

I  wonder if this was the right avenue to make it.

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Know who I’m most anxious to see arrive at the Air Canada Centre this week?

No, not the dopey UFC thugs who’ll take over the arena on the weekend and make my life a tad more difficult in trying to get to and fro the start of training camp.

Amir Johnson.

When last we saw the young lad, he was off to relax for a month or so in the summer before having the necessary surgery on the ankle that troubled him most of last season.

I mentioned back then that there were people high up in the HOTH organization who were a tad miffed that he waited to have it done; he wouldn’t have been ready for the start of training camp had it begun on time.

Those same people, who haven’t had a chance to check in with him officially since July 1, wonder what kind of shape he’s in, how he came through his rehab and of all the players, he’s the one causing the most private discussion.

He could come back the same old guy, all bouncy and quick and ready to go.

Or he could not.

Might make for some interesting times around the end of the week for a team that, right now, would be counting on Johnson to play a rather substantial frontcourt role.

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Hey, the Leaves won.

Just thought I’d mention them here today because, well, just because yesterday was such a big hit.

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You don’t think I work hard?

Ace Photog Lucas Oleniuk proves that I do.

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A wee note on the angst of some yesterday that I’d dare talk pucks, or anything else in this little space.

As perhaps I’ve mentioned before, they would like me to branch out a wee bit, to keep up with the silly music and movie and sitcom and cop drama stuff and kind of weigh in the story of the day every now and then.

And I like it, so I will.

But there’s going to be all the Raptors stuff you want, as much of the NBA stuff you want, some Europe some other stuff.

That’s just the way it’s going to be and if ticks some of you off? Well, I guess that’s too bad.

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Speaking of the Raptors, you saw this, right, about James Johnson and Metta World Peace?

Well, the only other interesting thing to come out of the gym yesterday was Solomon Alabi was one of the four guys who worked out in the morning (Jerryd Bayless was planning on coming back at night) and it’s going to be interesting to see where he fits.

He’s one of only four bigs on the roster right now, there are high-ranking people in the organization who swear his talents have increased incredibly and maybe he finds himself in the mix.

Or maybe not.

Look, Solo may have vastly improved – to the point where coaches aren’t worried about him scrimmaging in practice lest he hurt someone like they were last season – but I think they need another veteran big, and should basically rely on three anyway so I’m not sure anyone needs count on the second-year guy too much.

Sure, when the stupid schedule piles up five games in six nights, or when someone inevitably gets injured, it’d be nice if they could feel confident in throwing him out there but in the perfect scenario, he watches and learns and gets maybe a couple of minutes a night.

Good kid, though. He spent a lot of the summer back in Florida working with his college coaches, and former NBA coach Leonard Hamilton, and recognizes what he’s got to work on.

“I worked on everything, worked on my defence and to avoid getting fouls, running up and down the floor, rebounding, getting my legs stronger and try to gain more weight.”

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Okay, just when you thought idiocy knows no bounds, how about this dope.

Some goofy weatherman at some TV station declares – get this! – that if the Indianapolis Colts lost he’d wear his wife’s Colts gear – a wardrobe that consists only of panties.

Now, I understand goofiness in the TV weather business, and I know all about silly broadcasters making silly claims that usually end up biting them in the butt but this guy? This guy is the most foolish ever.

Even 8-Ball knew the Colts would lose.

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Enough Raptors for you?

Just wait, we get the schedule tonight (bet on a Dec. 26 opener at Cleveland, a Dec. 28 home opener since the ACC’s booked for basketball that night) and we’ll have all kinds of stuff on it tomorrow.

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Wouldn't it be easier for a coach to just tell the truth?

Ah, the Leafs.

They are quite something, aren’t they?

The coach, who I may have spoken to or listened to three or four times in my life and really have no opinion on as a person, comes out Friday afternoon and says something to the effect that, yes, The Monster will be the goaler in Boston on Saturday because The Kid With Or Without The Concussion isn’t ready and will be the backup.

Kind of unequivocal, the coach was, and everyone trots off to do their work.

And Saturday arrives, Reimer (who did or didn’t have a concussion, only his Mom seems to know for sure) is, as they say, between the pipes.

So why would a coach lie?

Got me.

Anyway, it speaks to what I’m told is a rather tenuous and confrontational relationship between the media and the team, a fact that’s been discussed at length between colleagues from a number of papers, broadcast outlets and others. Unlike the goofy, petulant, petty Mayor, it’s not just us.

As you know, there isn’t much more intense that pucks coverage in our little burg, some dude breaks wind and we’ve got mains, sidebars, charts and video; heaven help us the days when something newsworthy happens.

So why on earth would the coach basically lie? Because he thought he wouldn’t be found out by the thundering herd of media that follows his team? Because he has such disdain for us that he doesn’t care? Because it’s fun? Because he can?

Look, in the grand scheme of things, knowing who’ll tend goal Saturday on Friday isn’t a big thing – it matters to teammates, maybe; friends, family and gamblers and I’m pretty certain it wouldn’t have an impact on the opponents’ preparation – but these are the Leaves, this was something of a special case and, well, these are the Leaves.

Why not do what most coaches do, which is obfuscate, or give some milquetoast non-answer that won’t come back to bite you in the bum.

You’d think that after all these years and all those scrums and all the scrutiny that comes with gig, the dude Wilson would know better.

Guess he’s either not bright or doesn’t care and both are rather sad.

This is a unique pucks market; I don’t imagine there’ll ever be any kind of transparency in the relationship between writers, commentators and the team, they don’t need us, some of us don’t care for them and times will often be strained.

But to lie? Probably intentionally? Bush league. Unprofessional. And beneath men who want to be treated with some level of respect.

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Tell the truth.

Who among us heard that the iconoclast soccer legend Socrates had died (great piece here by Cathal) and immediately thought of this?

Or this?

I sure did.

Yeah, those Monty Python folks could do comedy, couldn’t they?

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What a concept, seeing real, live NBA players in a real live NBA facility.

Yep, not a bad Sunday afternoon except by time I got there they were in the back lifting weights and we really didn’t see very much.

But I can dutifully report Ed Davis says he’s about 18 pounds heavier (told us he finished last season at 215, weighed in Saturday at 233) but that he’s still “bouncy,” which I presume is good.

James Johnson’s got some wild faux hawk hair thing going on and Jose figured it was about time to start looking for a job in Europe somewhere when the league and the litigants finally figured it was time to play.

“There was a lot (of initial interest from teams) but from the beginning I was clear for everybody, until the season was cancelled for sure, I didn’t want to play for a couple of months or one month. I was clear from the beginning so that’s why not so many teams were calling even just to check. I was 100 per cent sure about that.

“But when things turned out that it looked like the season might be cancelled we were asking a little bit to see what kind of options were out there. If the season was cancelled, there were 420 players who wanted to play in Europe or China or Spain, everywhere.

“We wanted to be ahead of those guys so we were asking what the options could be.”

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Did anyone notice that the Buffalo Bills drew an underwhelming audience of 56,463 for their game against Tennessee at home on Sunday.

It’s about 16,000 under capacity by my (bad) math and I guess all that palaver about fans loving The Ralph and the parties and the team doesn’t quite carry over when the team’s, you know, not going well.

Funny thing is, there’ve been times when the Bills have been way worse off than they are today, without the huge injury woes they’re struggling with, and fans have still flocked to games.

Sign of the times?

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Oh yeah, calm down everyone.

After a sourced report surfaced on the weekend that Jonas Valanciunas may indeed be in Toronto this season, Someone Who Knows reports it’s 99.99 per cent certain he stays in Lithuania and that it’s just as good that he does.

So, I guess, yes, there is a chance he comes.

(I keed, I keed)

Thus endeth the HOTH news for today. If you missed it, here's what else transpired.

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I tell ya, if I could get Gus Johnson to do play-by-play of my life, it would be soooooooo much more exciting.

You know I love the understated style of a Vin Scully more than any other broadcaster but Gus might be my second favourite out there.

The guy could read a menu and make it exciting.

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The end of the weekend mail; and more to come sometime

Okay, folks.

You’re going to have to trust me that the ones left over are going to get used, there are lots of good ones that require a bit more research and thought than I had time for on a busy couple of days. We’ll parcel ‘em out in the week or do some bonus thing some night.

For now, though …

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Q: Hey Doug: Good news! The Irregulars just got together for the first annual "'Tis the Season Bun Toss" gathering, and decided to buy their favourite Grunt a Christmas gift. Once everyone chipped in, we were amazed at how much we collected!

So, knowing that money is no object, what will your wish list for the Irregulars look like?

Take care!

Tim H, Windsor

A: Okay, I’m going to go all sappy on you.

How about a nice back room in a restaurant, a couple of dozen Irregulars who promise no fist-fighting, a night of cold Stellas, well-cooked medium-rare ribeyes, some robust red and five or six hours of stories and get-to-know-you moments. Seriously, that’d be nice and it’s not like I need or want anything material.

And then at the end of the night – or given the presence of those robust reds and My Friend Stella it might better be done early – we vote on a charity to give the leftover money to?

Sound like a good night? I bet I’d like it.

(That said, I am driving a Smelly Ford Focus ...)

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Q: Hi Doug. I was wondering if you are hearing anything out of Phoenix with regards to Steve Nash? Do you think his time there is done?

Joe D, Mississauga

A: Don’t hear anything more than you do right now and nothing’s changed: He wants to be there and feels a loyalty to his teammates and his city but I guarantee you’ll hear his name front and centre of trade rumours, speculation and fabrication as the season progresses.

But for now? Status quo.

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Q: I was reading an article on realgm.com the other day and it stated that if Dwight Howard resigns with his current club then he can receive a deal for 110 million dollars for five years, and if Chris Paul does the same thing with the hornets he can get a deal for 100 million dollars for five years. Can you please help me understand why Dwight Howard would be able to make more money then Chris Paul? Thanks for your time

Mario A, Toronto

A: A few factors to consider: The years they were drafted and therefore years of service, starting salary and percentage increase they’ve had over the years.

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Q: Hey Doug. Glad to see you giving some time to the NBL and the Oshawa Power. Haven't been to a game yet but certainly plan on catching a couple. It's only a little over an hour from Hastings. great to see our own homegrown league, and a chance for some Canadian fellas to get paid to work on their game at home. I'll be getting out and catching the show. Do you think you will be attending any more games?

Paul S, Hastings

A: Oh, I imagine I will but it’s hard to say until I see the NBA schedule on Tuesday. I absolutely want to get to a game in London and if the league holds some sort of all-star weekend/game, I’ll be pushing hard to go.

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Q: Doug: Tanking Light = not spending to the max, avoid front-line free agents & long-term contracts. Grange® wrote an interesting bit suggesting the Raps race to the bottom of the standings. I know how you feel about tanking, but how does Tanking Light sit with you? The Raps should institute the Tanking Light approach. Play the kids (assuring a 2012 lottery pick), and then start to build around your young core next summer.

P.S. I won't be able to read your answer here because Rob Ford asked me not to, but I will continue to follow you on FB, and listen via podcast whenever your buddy Bobcat has you over.

Len S, Seoul

A: They are going to “play the kids” it’s about all they’ve got and it’s why I haven’t advocated going out and finding some huge stud. But they need to improve the roster, they need a starting three, a fourth big on a one- or two-year deal and some shooting guard depth.

Now, I am not – nor will I ever – advocate not playing your best players the most; I don’t think they should hold back DeRozan, or Davis and Calderon or Bargnani or any of them in any way shape or form.

Playing your best players the most and trying to fill roster holes with the most capable people you can afford and who fit what you need is the best way to go.

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Q: First of all if MLSE offered to have the Raps exhibition game free it's only because they knew the league would reject it.

We all seem to have forgotten what value we got for Chris Bosh. Could you recap and help me understand why we are all ok with this.

Does BC really believe that after 5 ? years in the job and last year's 22 wins, rebuilding is ok.

Larry B, Oakville

A: And you know this about MLSE’s offer because … well, because it fits into your pre-conceived notion? Not because it’s … well, not because it’s based in, you know, fact.

What they got back for Chris Bosh was a draft pick – 29th or 28th overall, I don’t recall – that they turned into their current starting small forward, James Johnson; they got the financial flexibility to do a deal for Jerry Bayless that they wouldn’t otherwise had; they got the financial flexibility to make a deal to obtain an extra second-round draft pick in a deal with Dallas; they got room on the roster to allow Ed Davis to actually get on the floor a bit as a rookie; they still have some financial wiggle room but I will be the first to admit it’s unlikely they’ll use the remainder of the trade exception.

Now, if they’d signed Bosh to a maximum value contract and kept him, you would have been in the minority praising Bryan for making an astute move, right?

And, yes, after five years, two playoff appearances, the whole Bosh-JO-Turk saga, Bryan fully believes that rebuilding is okay and has been on that track for a season.

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Q: What about using Amir Johnson, Ed Davis and Andrea Bargnani together for 20/24 minutes a game? I believe Amir has quickness and determination to play above average "three" defense even in man-to-man (for limited minutes). During same minutes while on offense, Amir could play the role of the four or five as Bargnani has outside range to be the offensive three.

Bob J, Toronto

A: Amir Johnson would foul out of games in, say, four minutes – or six defensive possessions – guarding threes.

I cannot see it happening.

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Q: Hey Doug. I'm sure you have your opinions on Mayor Ford's decision to ice-out The Star, but since this is a sports blog I won't ask you to weigh in (unless you really want to). I'm wondering if you know of any times in sports that a team or player has tried to refuse access to a certain paper because of an article they disagreed with.

Paul C, Brantford

A: Petty, petulant, disrespectful to the constituents by denying some access by osmosis, bullying, bush league, predictable, childish.

Glad he’s not the Mayor of the city I live in.

Now, nothing like that has happened to me or here – the Raptors are a professional group above all else – but I do know a case where the Knicks withheld information from one beat writer – Frank Isola – because, well, because he was good at his job.

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Q: Hey Doug. Just wondering who you think is a good bet to come back to Raptors camp in surprisingly great shape and who will shock us with their extended off-season overeating regimen? Raptors-specific and league wide examples would be great.

Thanks.

Matt K, Etobicoke

A: I don’t even want to take a guess on conditioning until I see guys but I am most interested in seeing how Amir Johnson looks, having had off-season surgery; I would think DeMar DeRozan will be in pretty good shape because all I’ve heard about him is that he’s been in the gym and I wonder how James Johnson came through the extended summer because there have been concerns about his conditioning in the past.

The usual start to the weekend mail

All right, folks, you got us off to a rousing start here for the weekend, still some time to get in on the fun for tomorrow.

Go here, do your thing and send it along, if you like.

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Q: Doug: You could have knocked me over with a feather - or a spirited 8-ball - when you said Mr. C. Kelly has been assigned your Associate Grunt. Not that he isn't a very talented writer slash raconteur slash mocker of things deserving mocking (which seem part of the requirements of being a Grunt), but he seems...ahhh...too refined or something. (Sometimes, I think he and I would have a blast hosting an opera chat for the masses.) Anyway, what are you going to have to do with or to Cathal to whip him into shape to be as good as Beat Grunt as you are ('cause you know I think you're The Best Ever!) and, more importantly, comfortable for Irregulars to deal with? Thank you.

Lorie P, London

A: Yes, Mr. Kelly will be doing his fair share of HOTH this year (he’ll love Milwaukee in the middle of a February back-to-back-to-back) because I could use some help and he tends to be under-employed (I keed, I keed).

Top three tasks:

Creative expense-accounting.

Leave the best stuff for the more veteran guy.

I take my coffee black and my Stella cold and it’s a quad vente non-fat latte.

Once he gets those down, he’ll be fine.

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Q: Hi Doug. With this shortened season still having an All-Star break. Are your colleagues at the PBWA at all worried about creating the All Star ballots? I know that in previous years, you have had a bit of a guessing game, but with such a short build up to the season, not to mention a very short, and potentially wild free agent signing period, how will you be dealing with this?

Peter L, Toronto

A: That’s a very interesting question, actually. For the past two years, I’ve been on the committee that’s struck the all-star ballot and it’s been a difficult task (getting enough worthy candidates at each position while adhering to the three-nominees-per-team rule) that has drawn some criticism.

I haven’t heard from the league about this year but with the shortened period – and expected signing frenzy – it’s not going to be any easier, especially with the number of players who may change teams next week.

At one point, there were those who though it should be open to anyone in the league but that’s not workable for the paper ballots that are available at arenas. I honestly don’t know what they, or we, are going to do. Will let you know as soon as I do.

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Q: Hi Doug...welcome back to the NBA. I have a question about Andrea Bargnani. What do you think about his future with the franchise? I think he's a gifted scorer and that's about it. I'd like to know a little more about the amnesty rule....perhaps getting rid of Bargnani and his 3 rebounds per game might be a good move. I like Andrea (as a 6th man), but I'd much rather free up the money to bring in Tyson Chandler as an anchor for the defense. We already know Tyson will mesh well with the new coach, plus it'll give Jonas Valanciunas some time to develop physically and adjust to the NBA game. I'll hang up now and listen to your answer.

Arthur L, Cambridge

A: It’s actually about five per game but why quibble.

I don’t see his role changing substantially at all, nor should it. Look, Andrea’s rebounding deficiencies are well known and historic, they aren’t going to change. And yes, Tyson Chandler is better defender, a far inferior offensive threat who will cost you more money for more years.

Would I rather have him or Bargnani? Apples and oranges. Chandler if my team had enough offensive firepower; Bargnani on a team that needs three-point shooting like this one does.

I presume Bryan will at least make a cursory free-agent call to Chandler’s people, I presume the entreaties will be rebuffed.

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Q: Hey Doug, just posting the question from the comments section in the mailbag for future reference:

I’m wondering how you think the shortened season will affect veteran teams. Will teams like the Spurs or Mavs have an advantage not being as burnt out by the time playoffs roll around? Or does the high volume of games in a short time negate that? Further, will this help Miami’s "big 3" stay energized roll to a championship? Would it lose some of its luster due the shortened season if they did?

Ryan M, Ottawa

A: I think it’s going to help veteran teams, actually. Teams with guys who are entirely familiar with each other, teams with veterans who know how to take care of their bodies and know at which point in games they can, you know, save energy, could have a leg up on young clubs with new rosters who might feel invincible physically as the season wears on.

But I don’t think it’ll take any lustre away from the eventual champion and there’s no need for an asterisk. I think 66 games is representative – I think 60 would have been okay – and it’s not like 1998-99 when it was only 50, that was too few.

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Q: Hi Doug. Do you think Calderon or Bayless is our long term PG? I am a big Jose's fan but I think none of them is the answer for our PG position.

Chi F, Markham

A: I think you need to define “long-term.” No, three years from now I don’t expect it to be the same two guys, I think Jose by that time will be a backup, which may best suit his skills by then, but, for now, they have far greater needs to address.

NBA drops the pre-season ball

Way back a week or so ago, when the NBA and The Litigants finally got around to saving some scrap of a 2011-12 basketball season, one of the big questions around these parts was how were they going to say “sorry” to the fans and others they’d screwed over for about five months.

One of the most logical and easiest things to do – and hardly an earth-shattering statement of apology but at least something – would have been to make all the exhibition games free to anyone who wanted to go.

If memory serves, it’s what they did here in 1999 (the game against Boston that year was at the dome) and while it didn’t go too far to making amends, it was at least a gesture.

This time?

Noooooooooo.

I know for a fact the Raptors tried to convince the league to let them offer the game – Dec. 18 against Boston – for free but were rebuffed.

Dopey league.

Now, I’m not saying at all that one free exhibition game would assuage the feelings of all the fans; it is, after all, a first exhibition game after about nine days of practice and I don’t imagine it’ll be at NBA Finals intensity or skill.

And I can imagine the league figured ‘well, there are some markets where the teams could use the cash they’ll get so we can’t let one team do it and not others’ but why not simply make ever pretend game in every city free?

Who’s it going to hurt?

No one.

Huge fumble on the NBA’s part, in my opinion. You know my feelings on pre-season basketball as it is, I cannot imagine anyone forking over cash to see it under these circumstances.

Not sure what they’ll eventually end up doing as a way to make up for the past few months, I’m sure they’ll find some way to discount some tickets, I bet the Tallest of League Foreheads are coming up with other things as we speak but this was an easy, right-off-the-bat chance they blew.

Sad.

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Oh yeah.

If you happen to be near a radio between 5-7 p.m. tonight, or if you’re at your computer, I hear the McCown show on FAN590 or whatever it’s called now, is going to be hugely entertaining.

Helluva round table assembled, I’m told.

Hope we talk a lot of pucks.

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Is there a more interesting story – in a train wreck kind of way – in all of sports right now than the Philadelphia Eagles?

You know, the Super Team formed in the summer, unbeatable force, dominant group, one that’s now 4-8 after arguably its most abysmal performance of the season Thursday night against Seattle?

Here’s the thing with teams that put together seemingly unstoppable squads: Most of us want them to fail.

We all tend to love to root against monoliths – just think back to how much glee so many felt when the Miami Heat didn’t win the NBA championship last June – and the Eagles were the perfect target for what amounted to a lot of fan anger.

They were self-assured bordering on cocky, they had amassed all kinds of talent and everyone knew it.

Now?

Now they’re probably going to fire the coach eventually, and their quarterbacks are either hurt or not playing well and they are stumbling and bumbling along every week.

Fans love to have targets and villains and a lot of us like to see sure things fall flat on the collective faces, don’t we?

Thanks, Eagles.

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This is why I believe – math marks notwithstanding – Super Son has a rather promising future ahead of him.

He goes to sax lessons one week, hears a tune he likes, asks for the sheet music and – presto! – the ever-so talented Pat Carey (yes, he of Downchild Blues Band fame) comes through.

And most of the week since, it’s been Yakety Sax blaring throughout the house.

Yakety Sax? Oh, well, the Benny Hill theme song.

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Andrea Bargnani was in the Air Canada Centre yesterday.

Rest of the group will trickle in over the weekend.

Thought you’d like to know.

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Was invited – thanks, fellas – to take in the Toronto chapter of the Baseball Writers Association of America annual end-of-season luncheon yesterday (Griff’s got the award-winner details here and a wrap up of a chat with Alex Anthopoulos and Paul Beeston here) and it was a gas.

One of the things that most struck me is that regardless of your feelings for what they do in their jobs – and there are always going to be hit and misses and everything in between – the men who run the three major sports in Toronto are good guys.

I know the basketball people very well, have come to know the baseball people sort of well and have had my share of conversations with Mr. Burke over the years.

They are all, without fail, good, honourable men you wouldn’t mind sitting down and having a drink with. They can tell stories and don’t mind doing it, they can be funny and engaging and informative. Sure, they have to protect their products and their plans and may not always be as forthcoming with inside information as some of us would like but they are solid men.

Not a bad group to represent your city.

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Okay, before the big radio gig, I not only have to finish the NBL Canada package we’ve got going in the paper tomorrow (you asked, we complied) but there’ll be at least a couple of hours for mail.

What’s on your mind?

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A new face for football needed; and all NBA GMs are chatty now

You want to know why the Argos are a bit of a joke?

First, read Zelk’s piece here about the zaniness of the last two days and tell me there aren’t some upper management issues with that team that could very well force some long-time fans to wonder what, exactly, is going on at the top.

Classic.

They either hired the guy from Calgary or they didn’t; the Stamps say he’s going, the Argos say he’s not and someone’s, um, fibbing.

They’ve got a new head coach coming in today (that much we know for sure because they said it themselves) and I guess that means the old head coach is done and I guess we all just missed that announcement (which could very well be the case for me).

Anyway, the shenanigans kind of make me wonder just who’s in control over there? As has been pointed out many times – including here every now and then – this is a franchise that needs – for better or worse – someone colourful, accessible, recognizable as the go-to guy for not only the media but the fans.

They can’t seem to sell the product on the field because it’s been pretty below average most years, they don’t seem to have that one star player – a quarterback would be nice – that people can rally around and if those two things don’t happen, they need a face, a name, a person.

A Leo Cahill.

A Pinball Clemons.

Heck, even Obie was a good guy that people could relate to.

The owner’s probably a nice guy with his heart in the right place but he’s not Harry Ornest, or Bruce McNall or John Bassett or even Sherwood Schwartz, bless his out-of-his-element-like-you-can’t-believe soul.

I have no idea if this new coach, Scott Milanovich, is a dynamic personality or not, whether he’ll be able to connect with the fans and the media in a way so many in recent years haven’t been able to. No clue, really, whether he can coach; I wouldn’t imagine it’d be that hard to be a successful offensive co-ordinator of a team quarterbacked by Anthony Calvillo but maybe he’s the innovative mind and recruiter they need to jazz things up around there.

But as they lurch from one thing to another, the one pressing need they have is someone to become the guy people associate with the football team. Someone exciting and dynamic and able to sell the sizzle ‘cause the steak’s little but gristle these days.

And if they keep shooting themselves in the foot as they seem to be, that job’s going to get harder and harder and they will sink further and further into oblivion.

Too bad, too. You kind of want them to be successful.

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This is a good one:

Q: Hi Doug... If you could sit beside any of the courtside celebrities for one game, who would it be?

Woody?

Spike?

Jack?

Dyan Cannon?

Denzel?

Please provide a clip with your choice! Mine would be Woody, and the story of how he shot a moose. (or the gub spelling mistake, or the Candid Camera bit with the secretary or...)

Bob E, Kanata

A: Yes, Woody would be a nice one, no question about it. But I’m hanging with Jack because it’s a better team we’d be watching, I’d like to spend some time watching him interact with other players and coaches, we could hang with other celebrities in some party room and then we’re going out for dinner. And oldtimers will know that could be a gas.

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So, I see by People magazine (which I believe is the New York Times of pop culture and all the other crap some people see as news these days) reports The Hump is seeking an annulment from what’s-her-name on the grounds of fraud.

My question?

Can the general public file a similar suit against them both to recover the lost wages and energy some of you wasted caring?

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Oh yeah.

There’s nothing official just yet – might not be until Monday – but if I was you and was intently interested in seeing the HOTH’s first and only pre-season home game, I might make sure I had nothing on for the afternoon of Dec. 18.

Just sayin’.

And, yes, it’ll be Boston.

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Hey, how ‘bout that Sonny Weems, who apparently hasn’t found a barber over in Lithuania quite yet.

Has 18 points, including game-winning basket as Zalgiris Kaunas wins a big EuroLeague game over Garbo’s old Malaga team.

Here’s the story; there’s the video.

(No, he didn’t pull up and take a three-pointer, the kid’s learning).

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Just in case you were wondering, it would appear from reading various missives from around the NBA that every general manager talked to every agent about every player.

All yesterday!

Yeah, it’s that silly time of year when we’re getting reports that this team has “targeted” that guy, or that guy “wants” to go to this team and here’s a word to the wise:

If every GM didn’t make a call to the representatives of every significant player on the market, they aren’t doing their jobs and should probably wonder about alternative employment.

No, I don’t know for sure who Bryan Colangelo talked to yesterday but I can assure you he would have touched base with dozens of agents ranging from the reps of Marc Gasol to the reps of Tyson Chandler to the reps of every player at the lower end of the free agent spectrum.

And, no, I have no idea if those conversations will ultimately bear any fruit – I certainly don’t expect so in the first two instances – but when there’s something of actual substance to report, you’ll be among the first to know.

For now?

He’s talking. A lot. As is everyone. Believe what you want at your own peril the next few days and get excited about it as you wish.

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Speaking of mail, we could use some here, thank you very much.

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So, how slow a TV night was it?

Saw about three-quarters of the Leaves game (yes, on purpose; no, I don’t see any hives on my arms or legs) and that probably represents more intense pucks-watching as I’ve done all season.

Of course, a lot of it had to do with the build-up to the game, one of those “measuring-stick” outings against the Boston Kryptonites and, no, the hometown side didn’t let me down.

But even with my scant knowledge of the game – goaltending’s good, right? – you could tell this version of the pucks aren’t too bad. Kind of fast, look like they know what they’re doing and those poor, downtrodden eight-year-olds who have never known the glory of a first-round playoff series (how incomplete must their lives be?) may finally be whole this spring.

And who knows …

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