No matter the name, the guy has to be suspended a long time

What’s that old saying about leopards and spots?

Doesn’t matter if it’s Ron Artest or Metta World Peace or whatever, the guy who hammered James Harden with an elbow to the head on Sunday afternoon is a serial offender, always has been, always will be and if David Stern doesn’t hit him with at least a five-game suspension – and I can see it going as far as 10 – well, then David Stern has turned into Brendan Shanahan and is simply spinning the wheel of discipline and totally guessing.

Look, we all heard World Peace’s lame explanation that it was just some over-exuberant emotional outburst after making a nice play and there was some idiotic comparison to a hit he may or may not have got from Marc Gasol a year or so ago but the facts are simple:

He took his elbow, drew it back and smacked an unsuspecting opponent in the side of the head, taking Harden out of the game and, once again, showing that he cannot be trusted.

This is no isolated incident from some usually calm player doing something out of character.

World Peace did it when he played in Chicago, he did it when he played in Indiana, he did it last year as a Laker with a cheap clothesline shot to the head of Dallas’s J.J. Barea in a playoff game.

He has been suspended for more than 110 games over the course of his career and he’s a punk who cannot control his emotions.

Pure and simple.

And I don’t want to hear what a gentle guy he is away from the court, I know he does wonderful work with teenage emotional issues and can perhaps be admired for that at some level.

But you cannot deliver that kind of blow to an opponent’s neck no matter the circumstances. It looked entirely intentional to me, and I would imagine it looked entirely intentional to the NBA officials who are going to have to mete out punishment today.

World Peace is a serial offender, he has not shown the ability to control his emotions for the duration of his career and, yes, that has to come into play when Stern decides who long he’ll have to sit down for.

What happened Sunday was violent and dangerous and looked pre-mediated and so far removed from basketball it’s not even funny.

We’ve been inundated lately about players and coaches taking exceptions to “hard fouls” and this is so far beyond that it’s hardly worth mentioning in the same breath.

Forget my original five-game idea; I’ve talked myself into it having to be 10.

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So, Super Dog’s got a cone on her head, stitches in her back two knees, she can’t do stairs while living in a back split, has to have “range of motion” therapy a half dozen times a day and will only eat her Doggie Morphine if the pills are delicately hidden in tiny bits of raw hot dog.

And I’m on the road until Tuesday night.

Oh, yeah, my time as Man Of The Year in Casa Doug is over.

Long over.

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Right, the game.

THREE POINTERS

No big deal, really

Yes, DeMar DeRozan did not play in the fourth quarter and only played 28 minutes on the night – and played pretty well when he was out there – but, please, don’t read anything into it.

As Dwane said post-game, he just wanted to see what the other guys could give him in strange situations for them and if you can’t do that in Game 64 of a 66-game season against another going-nowhere team playing out the string, when can you do it?

Don’t be surprised if DeMar’s at about the same minutes tonight in Milwaukee or Thursday night at home; it’s nothing personal, it’s just that time of year.

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Big numbers

Okay, so Ben Uzoh had four turnovers and Gary Forbes had five and point guard play was an issue.

If they are, as they have said all along, trying to find out some things about different guys, some night they aren’t going to like what they get.

And neither is ready, or capable, of being a regular part of any team with any kind of aspirations at all.

Sorry. Good guys and Forbes can make shots but as point guards, they don’t have it.

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Making the point

Linas Kleiza had an interesting quote post-game and it had nothing to do with the great open look he had to tie the game.

Look, the players know better than we do that the season is winding down, that they won’t have really achieved much as a team when it’s over and these last few games are terribly hard to get up for.

They do, once the game’s underway and the adrenaline is flowing but before that? It’s hard, he said, in a rather candid, and correct, assessment of things:

“Maybe it’s tougher before the games. When you’re actually playing, it’s just like any other game but everything leading up to the game, it’s kind of hard to stay focused. Still, it’s our job and it’s what we love to do.”

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Yes, I’ve seen MC Hammer, if only for about a song and a half but, trust me, I’m not about to run out and grab all his CDs or whatever they have these days.

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Hey, now I know where the Raptors might have stolen the whole camouflage jersey thing.

Seems the San Diego Padres have been doing it longer and watching some highlights Sunday when they trotted them out again wasn’t too bad. Maybe it’s the fact there aren’t a whole bunch of them running around at one time but they didn’t look too bad.

Still have some issues about their very existence but they do fit the diamond better than the court.

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One of the best lines of the weekend?

We’re out Saturday night having a bite to eat in an establishment with a lot of TVs and off in the corner is one showing the Mavs-Bulls.

We look up at one time, see a Dallas player writhing around the court in pain and can't really tell who it is; one guy looks at the other and says:

“Has to be Vince, right?”

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One of the other best lines of the weekend?

We’re standing before the Sunday game, the conversation gets around to Saturday games and someone says, “hey, did you see where Wade dislocated a finger?”

Without missing a beat, guy who shall remain nameless says:

“Did they have to take him off in a wheelchair?”

Oh yeah, we are a laugh-a-minute bunch.

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Okay, this is up stupid early because it’s a 45-minute drive to the Detroit airport from the hotel and it’s an early flight to Milwaukee so have fun reading, I’ll get to the much-anticipated comments once I’m settled in the Land O’ Cheese.

And see you hear about 8 p.m. for the penultimate IGBT of the regular season.

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The Goods On The Game, Raptors at Pistons

Good evening, folks.

Hope it's been a nice day.

The end of the weekend mail

Okay, folks. Here we go. Not a bad week as it turned out, thanks.

Oh, we’ll be back at 6 p.m for the IGBT if you care to join in.

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Q: Hi Doug. The baseball tribute to Jackie Robinson got me thinking. If you could travel back in time to watch any one iconic sporting event, what would you choose? Jackie's first game? Wilt's 100? Jesse Owens at the Berlin Olympics? Any others come to mind?

Peter L, Kingston

A: I’d probably put Ali-Foreman’s Rumble in the Jungle at the top of that list, barely ahead of Ali-Frazier at Madison Square Garden. Have only done one “big” fight – was Lennox Lewis against someone in Vegas, maybe Michael Moorer – and there’s nothing like the electricity around a great heavyweight fight.

But Owens in Berlin sure would have been cool, and Don Larsen’s World Series perfect game.

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Q: Hi Doug. Theres a lot of draft talk going around raptors fansites. Can you give us your own version of a top 10 ranking for prospects?

Cory G, Jasper

A: Sorry. Guess that’s what fansites are for. I don’t have the depth of knowledge yet, haven’t spoken to enough scouts yet. Late May and June, ok?

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Q: Doug. Do 10 day contracts get the league minimum for the games they play? For a D-Leaguer, wouldn't getting signed for the rest of the season be like getting a 15-20X pay raise (assuming they sign for the minimum)? Why isn't this a reality show or a documentary or article if that is the case? Real drama, actual consequential impact on the people called up (or sent back down), likely interesting parties involved with some "history".

Geoff H, Toronto

A: Pro-rated minimums based on any NBA service they already have; I think the number for Uzoh was about $60,000 for each 10-day deal and about $80,000 for Anderson. And it would pro-rated on their “rest of the year” deals.

Sure, it’s a nice story but I don’t know what the second act or seventh paragraph might be.

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Q: Having followed you with the Raptors for a couple of years now, I do not remember you ever going off on some coach or player. Not Hoffa, as others have, not J. P. Riciardi as have others also. You will point out areas of weakness or where improvement is needed without ever putting them down. I find that commendable. Have you ever done that in the past? What is it with some of the sports writers that causes them to do that? Do they allow themselves to get to invested in the team? Is it that they want to manage or play but can't?? I have often wondered what it is that causes a writer to get personal.

Or is it just my imagination??

Gerry T, Halifax

A: It’s all a matter of personal preference and perhaps personality and I’m not a big fan of the “screamer” style of critical writing. I think you can make exactly the same case with more subtlety than you can by other means.

And I honestly don’t know what drives others, either in print or on the radio (perhaps the worst offenders) or on television. I would hazard a guess that ego plays a part in it.

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Q: Time Magazine always has some unusual suspects on their top 100 list-happens every year. I agree with you on the Lin-Tebow madness but who do you think should be on the list this year athletic or non?

Sad news about Men at Work member passing. Got a favorite tune?

Simone S, Toronto

And

Q: Hi Doug! Well, on a list of influential people that includes the Middleton Sisters, Rihanna and Chelsea Handler, I guess Jeremy Lin's not hopelessly out of place. (And if these are truly the people by whom the world has been influenced, I'm surprised they haven't (as yet!) named their Person Of The Year to have been a tie between TMZ and Twitter....) But if the editors over at Time had asked you to submit, say three, influential sports figures for their list of 100 Influential People 2012, who might you have recommended? Thanks!

Lorie P, London

A: I honestly can’t give you a name or names of athletes right now; I haven’t done an awful lot of research.

But here’s one:

How about the first woman from Saudi Arabia to compete in the Olympics? It’ll happen in London and if you want to talk about being influential, that might be someone to put on a list.

(Reminds self to get that assignment at the Games).

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Q: Hey Doug: Someone sent a question to the Mail Bag regarding the 'equity' of this season's schedule. You replied that the schedules of various teams were not balanced.

 

Have you seen any teams that were either adversely affected, or positively affected, by the inequity?

Thanks again for all that you do - the blog, Mail Bag, IGBT, NBN, gamers, plus playoff previews, Olympic coverage - it seems the list is never-ending!

Tim H, Windsor

A: I guess the one that comes quickly to mind is Philadelphia. The Sixers had what could be considered a “soft” early schedule heavily loaded with home games and they got off to a great start. Once it turned the other way, they started to freefall through the standings.

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Q: I'm wondering what your thoughts are on the Nene trade and the double standard that seems to exist between organizations and players on the topic of Loyalty.

Nene was a top tier free agent (some would argue the most coveted). He was chased by many teams but ultimately remained "loyal" to Denver. Then Denver traded him to the worst team in the league????

If a player resigned with a team and then demanded a trade half way through the year fans would be rabid! (can you imagine Toronto fans' reaction if Nene signed here and then asked to be traded??)

Yet a team signs him and then discards him in the same season and no attention is brought to how raw of a deal Nene is getting. He could have gotten the same money from many contending teams but chose to remain loyal only to be sold off like an unwanted used car 3 months later???

To me I think the double standard that exists between teams trading players like cards, and players being vilians for asking for trades is ridicilous.

Your thoughts?

Jeffrey M, Saint John

A: He remained “loyal” because he got a crazy contract worth tens of millions of dollars.

But, yes, I see a bit of a double-standard but I think the compensation players get might mute it a bit.

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Q: Hi Doug... What will be the plan versus the Nets this week? Does DD get a migraine? Do they make Aaron play 48?

Speaking of contraction, which two franchises should be eliminated?

Why would Larry Brown want to coach for St. Mary's?

Anyone ever given you a wet willie? How should Hayward have reacted?

Bob E, Kanata

A: Man, that one against the Nets might set the cause of professional men’s basketball back a decade or two. Heard this weekend New Jersey’s likely to shut down Deron Williams, taking another guy out of the equation.

Can’t wait to see how that one unfolds.

But there’s this: It will the last time a team representing New Jersey will play in the NBA! History, man. We’ll be witnessing history.

Two? Hmm. Well, if you took Sacramento away, I wouldn’t feel all that bad; and I suppose if there was no team in Milwaukee I’d be okay with that.

No, I’ve never had a wet willie or a dry one or given one and if I was Hayward, I’d probably go “ick!” and try to slap the guy.

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Q: Doug, this year the word "tanking" seems more prominent then any other year I remember. The NBA lottery system I think needs some tweaking. Is the lottery something that exists in the players CA, or can the league impose changes to the system without consultation? I just can't see how a majority of owners and league leaders would not or will not at least try to make some changes to the current system.

Steph R, Glencoe

A: There probably should be some tweaks but, no, it’s not a collectively bargained issue and the league can act unilaterally. And should.

The start of the weekend mail

Yeah, I know.

A little bit later than usual and not quite as big a mailbag as we’ve ever had. There was a night of remembering and storytelling and time kind of got away from me.

But there are all kinds of questions left over so I’ll have something to do while killing time in picturesque Troy, Michigan, tonight. If you want to add to the pile, do it here.

Thanks.

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Q: Doug: We await your preview of NBA playoffs. Please add something from the heart: Who, in your mind, is there to admire because it is a team with "heart"; maybe not a top ranked team; a team that has overcome difficulties? Can we think of Nash if Suns make it? Nuggets with a coach with cancer? San Antonio's oldsters and unique way of playing? With whom might we affiliate and why?

Charles N, Toronto

A: I’m all about the old guys so I really would like Phoenix to make it, not just for Nash but for Grant Hill as well; and I think Alvin Gentry’s done an excellent job. But if they don’t, I have an affinity for San Antonio because I admire their coach and the way they play (and Matt Bonner, too). However, I can’t quite warm up to the Celtics, even if they are a last-gasp group, as well.

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Q: Jeremy Lin certainly deserves in the Time most influential list. His impact may be transient in North America, but I think you'll need step out of the shell if you don't think his name is well known globally.

As a Canadian in living in Australia, I can say with confidence that the majority of the population will draw a blank when you mention Kevin Durant, Dwayne Wade, and Derrick Rose, but almost everybody will have heard of Jeremy Lin.

And that one country you're dismissing (China) represents 1/5 of everyone on this planet!

Derrick W, Melbourne

A: I’m not dismissing anyone and I never suggested his name wasn’t known globally; of course it is. But “influential?” In what tangible regard is Jeremy Lin “influential?” He was a pretty good player and a very good story for a few weeks on what was, at that point, an entirely average basketball team in a bad NBA conference.

There is a wide chasm between influence and fame, in my opinion.

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Q: Hi Doug! Remington, Selectra, Royal, Olivetti, IBM, Smith-Corona (Hey! There's a fine combination of names!) and Underwood. How many of these have you used? Over the years, I'll bet quite a few. And do you still have one somewhere? Apparently the typewriter is antiquated enough to now be considered 'quaint' and there are even clubs now that offer 'Type-Ins' (sort of like the Love-Ins we used to have in the Sixties but without the brownies...perhaps!) where people meet up, typewriters in tow - if not custom-fitted cases and they sit together - and type! And in the true spirit of those Sixties things, you can even try someone else's for awhile. And collecting typewriters is becoming more and more popular. Especially typewriters that used to belong to famous people. Now, if I could, I think it would be very cool to hit the same keys that Agatha Christie did, or - be still my martini - Dorothy Parker. How about you? Whose typewriter would you find intriguing to sit in front of, return that carriage and replace that ribbon? Thanks!

Lorie P, London

A: Jim Murray, the late, great L.A. Times columnist would be right near the top of that list, along with an olden days young reporter at the paper where I work:

Dude by the name of Hemingway.

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Q: Hi Doug. True story. I have a whole bunch of bush behind my house, and in the trees is a nest of Turkey Vultures. My cousin was visiting me a little while ago, and I pointed them out to him, and also commented on what beautiful birds they are, and how graceful they are in flight. My cousin got a funny look on his face, and acted odd for a little bit, and it finally came out that he hadn't heard "vultures" after I said turkey, and he thought I thought turkey's could fly. Which of course, reminds one of what is, in my opinion, the single funniest scene in the history of sitcom television:

So, what in your opinion, is the single funniest scene in the history of sitcom television? Do you have time for a list of five? (If you do a list of five, and the turkey drop isn't on it, someone should question your sense of humour!)

Sohail G, Collingwood

A: As I’ve said here often that’s the single greatest line uttered in sitcom history.

Others?

Hmm.

We might have done this before but here are a couple that come quickly to mind; and it’s entirely by memory:

The Honeymooners.

Ed Norton: Ralph, do you mind if I smoke?

Ralph Kramden: I don’t care if you burn.

How about Norm from Cheers.

Sam Malone: What’s the story, Norm?

Norm Peterson: Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy gets another beer. In this performance, the role of the boy will be played by Norm Peterson.

What’s everyone else got?

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Q: Doug, I've been quite impressed with DD's play the second half of this manic season. He has shown skill and guts in driving to the hoop, and seems to have become an accomplished mid range shooter. Now making for a moment the big assumption that Brian shares this opinion, does it change what he will want at the other wing position? Eg would he want more of defensive stopper with three-point proficiency to balance Demar, or would he settle for a DD-like player as long as the overall skill is there?

Gary M, Ottawa

A: I’ve always thought they’d look for a wing with good defensive skills first and nothing’s changed as the season has unfolded. They do like DeMar’s shooting game and the way he doesn’t always settle any more but they really, really need him to work on his ball-handling skills so he can at least try to take his man off the dribble.

But as for the other wing, defence was, and is, the first consideration.

A long fight ahead for one of the giants of the game

I’m a little bit late to the dance with this but basketball lost one of the all-time great coaches this week when Tennessee’s Pat Summitt had to retire this week because of early onset Alzheimer’s, as I’m sure you all know.

I met her once or twice, as I recall, at some USA Basketball thingy and she is one of those people with a “presence” about her that makes her stand out in any crowd.

Now, you know me and the NCAA and they tendency our friends to the south have to lionize coaches beyond all level of normalcy. They make them out to be giants all too often, to put them on pedestals for no real reason, to make them bigger and better and more important than they actually are.

But – and this may just be one of the exceptions that proves the rule – Summitt probably deserves all the accolades that have come her way this week. She ran a clean program by all accounts, the kids in her charge graduated and went on to successful careers away from the game and her program was as successful as any in NCAA history.

I was talking to Dwane about her the other night, he’s got some history and a unique perspective on what she accomplished given his connection to Tennessee through the SEC rivalry with his beloved Kentucky Wildcats and he made the point that she survived forever in a cutthroat business by genuinely caring about the kids she was in charge of, turning them into better women.

And this clip from Doc Rivers speaks volumes, I think.

I’ve had a very small bit of first-hand experience with Alzheimer’s, it is a terrible disease, one that tears at the fabric of families and the souls of people.

It is so, so, so difficult to deal with, it changes the very personality of men and women and is one of the most difficult illnesses related to age that anyone can deal with.

So it’s not so much that Summitt is leaving the coaching ranks that’s sad about this story, it’s why she’s being forced to step aside.

It will be a long and difficult fight, for her and her family as I’m sure many of you know. A sad story for someone who is one of the giants of the game.

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Well, this isn’t how the Dwight Howard saga was supposed to end, is it?

He’s going to have back surgery for a herniated disk – an operation that not only ends his NBA season but takes him out of the London Olympics as well – to bring to an end one of the most tumultuous individual seasons in the recent past.

But here’s one thing that probably should be pointed out to those who wonder if Howard had maybe taken it easy or, in the vernacular, “quit” on his team this season.

If he’s been battling back pain for as long as he says he has and it ends with having to have surgery, none of us – or any of the TV talking heads – can suggest he wasn’t giving all he had when he was trying to play through it.

Pain tolerance is such an individual thing that it’s totally unfair for anyone from the outside to suggest that someone is healthy enough to give more when they say they’re hurting.

We’re all guilty of it at some time, especially us who have the ability to sway public opinion (and I know I have been on the odd occasion) but it really is wrong.

Now, we can wish that some athletes had a higher pain threshold and could play through some bumps or bruises but if they say they can’t go, they can’t go.

The other angle to the Howard thing, of course, is if this means he’s played his last game for Stan Van Gundy and since I’ve thought that since the story first broke that Howard had told someone in Orlando management he wanted the coach fired, I have no doubt that is the case.

When we next see the big lug, we’re going to see him after coming off back surgery and playing for a new coach after he had a hand in his old one being fired and if that doesn’t put a lot of additional pressure on Howard to perform, I don’t know what does.

Good luck to him.

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Mail? Please. Big office day today with paperwork and some pre-Olympic plan adjustment but there’ll be time to knock some questions off.

Here. Please and thanks.

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Raptors?

Well, they’re on a rather extended road trip, talked briefly via text with some folks yesterday and nothing of significance went on.

Except maybe some grumbling.

You see, with the game in Miami on Wednesday and one in Detroit on Sunday, you can be sure more than a few of them had hoped for an extended stay in South Florida once they changed the original plan of coming home and working here in between.

Wrong, Camel-breath.

Sure, they stayed in Florida after the game on Wednesday, practiced there yesterday and stayed last night.

But Friday and Saturday?

They’re off to lovely Auburn Hills for a couple of days of work; instead of practicing in Florida today and tomorrow and then flying.

Guess it had as much to do with not wanting to “reward” them or something like that.

Yes, I am sure some of them were not impressed.

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I’m pretty certain that going 4-5 on an extended homestand and losing two of three series is not how the TOD envisioned itself coming out of the game. And our worst fears are being realized: The rotation is not going particularly well at this point and pitching is – and may always be – an issue.

It’s certainly not the stuff of contenders, is it?

Of course, it’s early and they may get on a roll but I have a feeling if the season unravels, it’s going to be because they don’t pitch the ball well enough.

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RIP, Levon.

 

 

Sometimes lists just don't make sense

I’m sure there are a lot of things that Time magazine does well – although I’m far more a Newsweek guy so that’s a presumption more than anything – but apparently make “lists” is not one of them.

This has some digression to it – and the Three Pointers from a so-so game are a little bit further down so don’t despair – but what the heck, we branch out a little bit.

Time came out with its list of the 100 Most Influential People as, as always, there was a fop to sports with the inclusion of some athletes; four to be exact.

And one of them; well, two of them; maybe three of them, almost made me laugh out loud when I read their names.

Jeremy Lin? Most Influential In The World? Gah!!!

Tim Tebow? Most Influential In The World? Bah!!!

Novak Djokovic? Most Influential In The World? Hmm, that’s a stretch.

Lionel Messi? Most Influential In The World? Um, My Man Kelly makes the case and I will defer.

But the others? Come on.

Look, Lin, the guy I know best of the four, is a very interesting guy and for a month or so he was a very good NBA story, of that there can be no question.

The rags-to-riches side of the story was a fun angle; the way he caught the public’s attention for a few weeks was a lot of fun, and driven almost entirely by a voracious New York media looking for something to cling to. He handled his ascension with class and dignity and, yes, it’s nice that he went to an Ivy League school and is smart.

But, really. Among the most influential in the world? Puhleeze.

Guy made basketball popular again in a country – China – where it was popular once before. He played pretty well for a team that’s played better now that he’s been injured.

Same with Tebow? More rags to riches. More nice guy makes good. More marginal talent captures attention for a little while. When it’s all said and done, he’s greatest contribution to the world may end up being a pose he’s mocked for.

I guess, though, I’m feeding right into what Time wanted me to do. These lists – and I’ve said this about ESPN lists and SI lists – are entirely fabricated to engender debate and discussion and that’s just what I’ve spent 400 words or so doing.

But, really, when I think of “influential” people in the world, athletes rarely come to mind, especially athletes who haven’t really accomplished a thing or dominated their sport in any tangible way.

Whaddya think?

-

Oh yeah …

There’s this, and then there’s this plea for mail. Do it here, please.

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THREE POINTERS

A step back

Funny, I was about to write a nice Ed Davis story – and I’m sure I still will, it just doesn’t fit into this narrative – and he goes out and lays one of his second-year guy eggs.

Four rebounds, eight points in 31 minutes and gets beaten up by the likes of Dexter Pittman and Juwan Howard.

Yes, there is still work to do, as Dwane pointed out after the game.

“It’s good for them to go through that, good for Ed to get bumped, that tells him how hard he has to work this summer in the weight room.”

Amen.

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Time for it to end

Gary Forbes is an intriguing basketball player in a lot of ways.

Has pretty good size, is pretty strong and can guard a couple of positions.

But they need to know right now that whatever he is, he is not a point guard. Never has been, never will be, time to put him where he belongs and let him try to improve his skills there rather than ask him to do something that we’ve found out this season that he can’t.

If this year was mainly about finding out things about players, there’s one question that’s been emphatically answered.

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The other mantra

Now, I’m all for “changing the culture” and becoming “defensive-minded” and I think they’ve accomplished that for the most part.

But we saw once again last night – with Davis and with DeRozan (who couldn’t get anywhere near the rim most of the game) and with James Johnson and Alan Anderson – that they simply aren’t strong enough.

Especially the kids and they need to send them both off this summer with a tape of that game in their hands and these words from Casey ringing in their ears.

“It tells us how much guys have to work in the weight room this summer. When they’re lifting weights, think about how we got pushed around and bumped and knocked off our mark … when you’re physically ready to take that challenge, those things don’t happen.”

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Okay, a couple more quick things, I’ve got some Nothin’ But Net stuff to get done before the afternoon flight.

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This is what it’s come to, and I’m afraid only our friends with access to American sports networks will get this totally.

It’s about 6:55 a.m., ESPN is doing a promo for its morning chat show and I so hate the sound of Stephen A. Smith’s voice and the oft-incomprehensible things that come out of his mouth that I just muted the TV rather than listen to 30 seconds of his drivel.

Anyway …

-

Hang on a sec.

Someone scored 10 goals in a pucks playoff game?

That’s odd, right?

And no one speared anyone, there were no scripted fights, no concussions, no head shots, no looming suspensions?

Good night for the pucks, indeed.

-

Hang on one more sec.

The Philadelphia Phillies (Cliff Lee) and San Francisco Giants (Matt Cain) played an 11-inning, 1-0 game in 2:27?

That’s hardly time enough for the folks watching the scantily-clad women and listening to the incessant pounding of so-called music time to have fun and enjoy “the experience.”

Oh, wait, never mind.

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The Goods On The Game, Raptors at Heat

Good evening.

Getting close to the end here, isn't it?

The Grand Old Game? Not so much

Not sure if was the bikini-clad women – plants by the franchise, obviously – prancing around or the costumed dancers up on the stage or the body-painting going on for the almost the duration of the game or the swimming pool but I saw baseball like I’ve never seen baseball before last night and you can have it.

Yeah, we made a trek to the new Marlins Stadium – a refurbished Orange Bowl – for a night among the people on Monday and it was one of the weirdest experiences of my life.

We – a trio of grunts with time on our hands – to take in the game from The Clevelander, an off-shoot of the legendary South Beach bar, in left field; a good idea at time because it looked like fun and the original Clevelander is a classic place to hang out.

Bad idea.

Look, I’m all for having fun at the ball yard, it should be leisurely night or day out, a game unfolding at a certain pace and a far more relaxing time than you’ll have at any other sporting event.

But, and this hit me about the second inning a delightful 5-2 game decided on a dramatic three-run homer in the bottom of the eighth, if I want to watch a game in a bar, I’ll go to a bar.

It was surreal and if this is the way baseball stadiums are going, I’m going to spend an awful lot of time in front of a TV.

It’s a little, cement-floored enclave just beyond the left field fence with four rows of comfortable seats and a standing-room area that could be any bar in almost any city anywhere in the world.

There was a DJ spinning THE ENTIRE GAME and since you know how I feel about loud, incomprehensible music pounding during the playing of the game, you can imagine how I felt about that.

The women, and I said “plants” rather than “implants” but I probably could have used either word, were there to, um, spice up the night and since they seemed to attract almost everyone’s attention all night, I guess they did their job.

It was, frankly, a party more than it was a ball game, a night out to hang in a bar with the fact a professional baseball game was going on about 20 feet away seemed to be little more than an inconvenience.

It was, frankly, as far removed from baseball as you can imagine and I am old and a bit cranky and a bit of a traditionalist so if this is the new wave of the baseball stadium “experience” in order to attract fans, you can have it.

It was kind of cool to do one time but it would have been far better, in hindsight, to leave after an inning or so, find a seat in the stands and watch the game unfold in a traditional way.

Baseball is not a game to be viewed through the prism of some faux South Beach party bar; it is a game to sit and ponder, to try and predict strategy, to tell stories.

It is not, and never will be, a raucous event with bikinis and shooters and blaring music and swimming pools filled with young ladies who are only there as eye-candy.

The kids can have it; the grown-ups should know better than to think it’d be fun.

I do now.

-

Damn.

You know me and The Band, right?

How much does it suck that word’s out that Levon Helm is, sadly, in the last stages of a fight with cancer?

Yeah, it sucks a lot.

-

Guess we need to start the plea for the mail, right?

Let’s do it here.

-

Oh yeah.

It was Ozzie Guillen’s return last night from a five-game suspension and outside of a shockingly large police presence around the stadium there was no outward sign of discontent.

Close as we got to a political statement was some leatherlung behind me screaming, “That’s your boy, Ozzie” when Chicago’s Starlin Castro made his first plate appearance.

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So, what of the HOTH?

Not a whole lot going on and maybe it’s just the people I get to listen to but there seems to be an overwhelming sense of “let’s get this season over with” out there among the people.

But not necessarily in a bad way.

Sure, there are those who are disappointed with the way things have turned out and are a bit mad about it but mostly it seems people want the games to end so the real work can begin.

Look, 22-40 is not good any way you slice it but – and this truly is an odd statement – it’s a “good” 22-40. We’ll touch on this a lot more next week when things end officially but most of the games has been competitive, there has been growth in a lot of tangible defensive ways and there is a bit of a foundation.

Now, it’s going to be a huge summer for Bryan and The Henchmen, no question about it, and this abomination of a condensed season (no practice time, too many games coming too quickly, too many odd scheduling quirks that kind of dictated results) has been a mishmash but, overall, it’s been better than some thought and there’s been more good than bad.

And, of course, they’ve stretched the final four out just to make it even stranger: Tonight, not ‘til Sunday, a back-to-back on Monday and then not until Thursday.

Weird.

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So, Super Son is traipsing off around Vienna and Salzburg (where apparently they don’t have the interwebs since we haven’t heard from him) and Super Dog’s going in the hospital today for (crazily expensive) knee surgeries tomorrow and I’m here and, yes, things are odd around Casa Doug.

This’ll be the first pet surgery rehab I’ve gone through and since Super Dog will be living with some knee issues and spends most of her life nestled a coach or a chair or a bed, I’m seeing a lot of lifting and placing in our lives over the next six weeks or so.

Guess that’s okay; it’s not like we’re going to be able to afford to leave the house or anything.

I’m thinking Super Son might want to investigate veterinary medicine as a career; seems a tad lucrative to me.

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Delicate relationships are well-handled by true pros

Well, not sure how long it’s been since there’s been a more difficult road day, that’s for sure.

Nothing like getting off a plane to shockingly sad news and then trying to deal with it.

And, you know what, the horrible news of Randy’s passing did affirm one thing in my mind:

This truly is a little family.

Sure, we have squabbles and there are goofy uncles you don’t want to deal with on a regular basis and other relatives you tend to ignore, but when things go bad, we’re there for each other, however we can be.

Dear friends call and they are wonderful voices to hear, you sit and read the tributes in tears on a stool and you can almost hear the people speaking the words.

The shock and sadness isn’t going to dissipate for a very, very long time; there will be more tears before will be celebrations (and the night we all finally get together to sit around and tell stories will be, in the words of the young ‘uns, epic) but through it all, there will be friends.

Good, supportive, caring friends and yesterday made me proud to know the people I know.

I think one of the things that amazed me the most – actually, knowing the people involved “amazed” might not be the right word – was the outpouring of emotion from athletes and sports administrators.

We live in far too confrontational a world when it comes to sports journalists and the subjects they cover and write about; too many of us tend to be hypercritical and look to expose flaws with some measure of glee.

Doesn’t have to be that way, not at all.

Don’t get me wrong: If there is reason to criticize or write critically, it has to be done and I know from having worked side-by-side through all those Olympics with Randy that he was more than willing to do it.

But there is a way to do it calmly and with reason and logic; to not go off half-cocked and be one of the screamers who bring our craft into disrepute.

Subtlety is an art and Randy had it; he could rail in his own way against boorish administrators and government agencies and even athletes when it needed to be done but he did in a way that earned him even more respect from the athletes he covered.

He broke hard news and wrote hard stories and at the end of the day, there were no hard feelings.

If only we all had that deft touch.

-

Anyway, no “more” today, just handful of little things that makes it a bit shorter than usual, it’s been a tough time.

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Guess what? Somehow the satellite in the bar did not reach deep enough into space to pluck out the signal from the Raptors-Hawks tilt which means one very good thing pour moi:

I missed the final Camo Jersey night and I’m not all that upset with that.

But it also means that Three Pointers are virtually impossible to do; I’ll wait to read your comments after reading Cathal’s gamer to find out what went on.

I do see that I missed Solo’s career game, I missed Gary Forbes back at the point and I missed a whole lot of scoring. Looks from a distance like the HOTH kind of ran out of gas, or something, late in the game after playing the Hawks tough into the middle or so of the third quarter.

Anything else I miss?

-

How about this.

A guy sleeps in a little bit – kind of a tossing and turning night and I just knew you could find something from the Law and Order franchise on TV about 3 a.m. – so that means a later than usual trip to the lobby for coffee and fresh air.

But sometimes fate intervenes and you strike up a conversation with a cool guy from London who’s off to Belize fishing and you trade short bios, he finds out about the Olympics and now …

Well, now if I go to the area of London known (and pardon me if I spell any of this stuff incorrectly) as Belgravia and visit the Grendadier and then wander over to either Wilson Muse or Kinnerton to find the Windsor Castle, I’m going to have some cool pub nights.

(That, of course, is if I can figure out how to store such information in this little iPhone thingy).

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So I see they’re taking the all-star game back to New Orleans in 2014 and I’m entirely cool with that. I’ve come to really enjoy the city, we had a great time there a couple of years ago and with the city still coming back, it’s nice to go somewhere where the money spent can really make a difference.

And, yes, I’d much rather go somewhere to all-star weekend than have it in Toronto and, trust me, I’m not sure all the people who ask incessantly about why the Raptors don’t host it truly understand what it is.

It is a weekend of events for league “partners” and there are scant few tickets to any of the events available to the general public. If you own a hotel chain, or one of the cool clubs downtown you might reap some benefits; if not, there will be as much inconvenience as anything.

Now, aside from the logistical nightmares – the back-of-house at the Air Canada Centre is woefully inadequate, the convention centre needed for the JamFest is booked, I believe, through 2014 or 2015, the league always likes to go to warmer weather places with new arenas or some other ownership tie-in – all that all-star weekends generally mean for regular folks is a chance to see stars from afar and to be not invited to the biggest of events.

It strikes me that this is one of those cases where people want the game to validate the city and themselves. And that’s not really worth it.

Oh yeah, more New Orleans news with new owner Tom Benson suggesting the team will change its name, although maybe not ‘til the start of the 2013-14 season at least.

Benson, who owns the NFL Saints, hasn’t given any hints as to what he’d like it to be and there’s all kinds of suggestions floating around.

Best one I heard, by far?

The Sinners.

Won’t happen but how cool would it be if it did.

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Randy Starkman: One of the true greats is gone

It takes a large measure of passion to do this job, or at least do it well; you need to care about the people and games you’re writing about, not whether teams or individuals win or lose, but you need to care about finding good stories and telling them well.

It truly is a craft and one that’s hard to master, we’re all guilty too often of mailing it in, writing because we have to write, getting something done because it had to be done.

Not Randy.

Never Randy.

You all know the sad, terrible, shocking news by now, we lost a dear friend, a trusted colleague and one of the true giants of Canadian sports journalism on Monday when Randy Starkman passed away at the far too young age of 51.

The tributes have poured in since the news first broke, from writers and athletes and administrators and just regular folk whose lives Randy touched in a career and life many of us only wish we could have led.

It is the measure of the man that the stories abound detailing his graciousness, his humour, his willingness to help, his ability to reach people he was writing about on a level far above the ordinary.

It has been my pleasure and my honour to work with hundreds of gifted, dedicated journalists over the years but I honestly cannot think of more than a couple who covered their sports and the athletes with the passion, and compassion that Randy did in his award-winning career.

We used to bust on him every now and then in the way that reporters do with each other, ragging on him about only wanting to advance the cause of starving Olympic athletes who lived in Scarborough basement apartments eating Kraft Dinner and Raman Noodles before hitting the public consciousness once every four years. Randy’d laugh along with us, all the time, but that’s what he did: He brought life to athletes too few people knew about, he got to know his subjects as people and as friends and he bled a little bit with every story he wrote. He advanced the causes because he cared. He knew that the tales he was telling were important, they touched on a level of dedication and commitment from athletes who truly were competing for personal glory rather than financial gain and public adoration and needed to be told.

He cared.

A lot.

More than so many of us do.

I had the privilege of covering five Olympics alongside Randy, working hand in glove with a reporter who knew his beat better than almost anyone in Canada knows his or hers. We’d sit down before each of those Games, usually just the two of us across the table, and we’d talk about the stories that were about come up.

Randy could be a bit proprietary about his athletes – and who could blame him after the time he put in learning about them? – but he unfailingly shared insight and information with an interloper and allowed me to do a far better job than I would have if I’d been left to my own devices.

It wasn’t a month ago when he and I and the Tallest Of Foreheads sat around one afternoon talking about London and the stories to do and the angles to pursue and how we would go about preparing for the 2012 Games. We had a few laughs, told a few tales, came up with something of a game plan and I was more looking forward to these Olympics than any I’ve done.

Randy always made it easier for me. His passion shone through and I came to try to share it; he cared so much, you had to care along with him.

A personal note, and a telling one.

One of the very first significant assignments I covered with Randy were the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta, he for The Star and me for Canadian Press. We didn’t know each all that well but had a common bond, his equally-talented and gifted wife Mary and Super Wife were due to give birth any day. With both had beepers to keep us in touch during the Games – I lost mine on the bus ride in from the airport before I even got settled – and when Randy’s went off, so did he.

He bailed on the Games because it was the right thing to do, he missed a handful of exceptional stories but he was where he needed to be when he needed be there.

Ella’s a teenager now, about two weeks older than Super Son, and Mary is now a single parent.

Life sometimes sucks.

And Canadian journalism is far poorer now than it was a day ago.

Rest in peace, my friend.