Not as big a deal as some would think

Sorry, I don’t see the announcement out of Augusta yesterday as quite the gigantic step for humankind that some do.

Yes, it’s all well and good that the bigwigs who run a very private golf club that happens to host a big tournament once a year have finally have invited two women – a powerful banker, a former political giant – to join the club, how nice of them indeed.

But sea change?

Nah.

It’s still a very private, exclusionary club and they exist all over the world. Heck, there are clubs in this area I can’t join and my life seems complete.

The men – and now women – who belong to Augusta are still what they’ve been for time immemorial.

They are rich titans of industry and captains of politics and they are dead set in their ways and they don’t get a rat’s patoot what you or I think.

Fine.

Let ‘em have their little cabal, let ‘em do what they want to do. It’s not, and never was in my opinion, some huge human injustice. Sure, it was wrong but, frankly, there are many things much more wrong in this world than some gaggle of rich old dudes wanting to be by themselves. Perhaps if they’d taken some of the money the Masters makes and poured into social programs in Augusta, it would have had a heavier social impact than inviting two women into the club every will.

And, no, I don’t see how they bowed to pressure, they did things on their own timeline, which is fine with me, and they did it when it was somewhat least expected.

Yes, there will be no more awkward questions next April when Billy Payne (who I still despite because he was in charge of the debacle that was the Atlanta Olympics, by the way) has to face the media before the Masters. And it’s one less story my friends and colleagues have to report – again. And Martha Burk can’t ever get a couple dozen of her friends to protest down the road.

But you know what?

They don’t care what you or I think.

They remain what they were, with one slight change; perhaps this makes the membership a little less abhorrent to some and moves the club up in the estimation of some. But to think this is some huge move that signals a stark change in the way they operate is rather silly.

Augusta is what Augusta is. It’s just a little bit different now.

-

Phyllis Diller, RIP.

Somewhere, Fang is either wonderfully pleased or horribly afraid.

The thing about Diller is that I’m not sure she got her due as a comic. Not sure if it was the era, the competition, the style but when you talk about the great comediennes of all time, she’s never the first one that comes to mind.

Lucille Ball, yes.

Carol Burnett, for sure.

Even Mary Tyler Moore, I think.

Too bad.

Phyllis could make ‘em laugh with the best of ‘em most of the time.

-

When the batteries in the smoke detector on the ceiling run dead and it starts beeping that annoying beep at 6 a.m. truly is delightful, isn’t it?

-

Yes, indeed, that is me and junior hockey on the front page of the newspaper today.

That’s what happens when you’re the only reporter around and stuff happens; kind of like covering trampoline or archery over in London except it’s something a lot closer to home to a lot of you.

Now, do I know very much about junior hockey and a possible players’ association? Of course not. But I do know how to report a story and that’s what we do.

Now, do I think a players association is needed?

Probably not but if that’s what forces the CHL and the three major junior leagues to alter or beef up or make standard educational programs for players after they leave the game then I’m all for it.

Look, these leagues and teams pluck some kids as young as 14 out of their homes and ask them to become de facto professional athletes. Sure, they’re supposed to go to school and the scheduled isn’t as arduous as a pro league but, still, they are athletes first and foremost.

If there’s something definite at the end of the junior career to help them further their education or learn a trade or start a business, that’s huge. It should be happening now, should have been happening for years.

I don’t know the numbers for sure but I would guess that less than five per cent of the players in the CHL today will have any kind of meaningful professional hockey career. Sure, some may kick around the low minors for a few years, some may get gigs in Europe but the majority won’t get a sniff, won’t make a dime off the game and if there’s something mandated waiting for them when the inevitable end comes, good.

-

I think the only way I’d be remotely interested in 50-year-old Roger Clemens making a comeback in the Atlantic League this weekend if he was randomly selected to go pee in a bottle after his start.

-

So I’m loafing on the couch last night flipping through the dial and come to the Nationals-Braves game and it’s a pretty good one.

And I’m sitting there thinking, you know what, I’d really like to be a fan of the Nationals, good young team on the rise, a couple of very exciting young players, a crack pitching staff and a pretty cool look, even if the logo seems stolen from Walgreens.

And then I think, no, you can’t do that.

Those are, or were, the Expos and I hope they never win a thing.

-

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Tim H.]

Hey Doug:
Two quick questions:
1) Has your biological clock adjusted back to EDT yet?
2) Is this the low point of your career, becoming a pucks grunt? ;>)

Blogger's note: Oh, yeah, back to whatever passes as normal; and, no, not the low point but certainly not a high one

[marc in panama]

Hola Doug,

I get what you are saying about Augusta National being a private club and they can do what they like and all, but the part that galls me to no end is how they are trying to spin this story as how enlightened they are, now that they have women members and all. This is the same bidotted group of people that didn't have their first member of colour until 1990. I'd be willing to bet there isn't a Jewish member yet, and I'll double down that Mayor Ford could join and never have to worry about raising a rainbow flag there either. That it is a pretty track of land there can be no doubt. But it is owned by a group of bigoted, misogynist rich fat cats, and to me hat sure takes the bloom off the azaleas come Masters time.

Ciao amigo,

marc in panama

[coachd]

Hi Doug,
Like you, I hope the Nationals self-implode and don't even make the play-offs. EVER. As a lifelong Expos fan I'm still upset that the team was stolen by Bud Selig and his cronies and given to Washington so that the American Congress wouldn't delve deeper into the steriod scandal of the late 90's and early 2000's. Nice to see that baseball's steriod issues are over. (Oh. Wait!!)

[Dave B]

Doug, did you hear about the lady who was stopped on the 401 a week or so ago? Apparently she was doing 210 kilometres and hour in a Ford Focus. I just thought you needed to know. You shouldn't try to beat that.

Blogger's note: If I can get mine cranked up to 120 without it shaking, I'm happy; 210's like the speed of light

[james]

Somehow I heard your Roger Clemens comment spoken by Phyllis Diller. It ended with a cackle and cracked me up.

[GM]

I think Diller gets her due in the standup realm, which is what she was first and foremost. Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett and Mary Tyler Moore weren't standups;they were comic actresses.

Blogger's note: Good point

[Rob.V]

Speaking of roasts I had just seen this for the first time the other night.
-
Grant it, Charlie Sheen has a plethora of material to be roasted about (drug abuse, being an alcoholic, prostitutes, porn stars, physical abuse, winning!!! etc...).
-
I mean, you cant get better material to write about really however having said this, Jeffrey Ross is the roast "master"... and he even gives it to Mike Tyson a little as well for us Sports fans.
-
For those of you who might not have seen this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPk2GQ8mhFk

[sam]

Are there issues in Junior Hockey that merit forming a union? It appears that David Branch runs a pretty tight ship and has a moral compass the has the best interest of the player and league in mind....
Am I wrong in that assumption?

Blogger's note: I don't think you're wrong but am far from an expert

[marc in panama]

Hold Doug,

I just saw the rookie Raptors photos on Facebook, and I notice that Quincy Acy is sporting #4. Do you think that Raptor Nation is going to go all bat $#!+ crazy because he's sporting Bosh's old number, and of course this is the most disrespectful thing the Raptors have done since Garbo wore 15? You know, it's this kind of disrespectful crap by BC and the brain trust that prevents top notch free agents to Toronto don't cha??

Blogger's note: I think it's just a number; nothing more, nothing less. And no one in the NBA world will care a lick, or even notice. A non-issue to the Nth degree

[m]

I'm guessing that Marc's tongue is firmly in his cheek.

Blogger's note: Hope so

[Lorie]

Hi Doug,
Nice clip of Phyllis roasting Ronnie. And talk about "the best of 'em" - Dean Martin, Don Rickles, Jayne Meadows, Ronald Reagan - and the best of the best - Jack Benny! But I was stumped by the identity of the fellow (and I'm quite certain it wasn't her uber talented husband Steve Allen who was apparently also there....) with the oh-so-unfortunate hairdo seated beside Jayne? Apparently Mark Spitz was one of the roasters. D'ya think it was him? Not sure I'd be able to recognize him any other way than soaking wet and in a pair of trunks....How about you?

Blogger's note: No, had no idea who that was

[doug]

I was the biggest Expo fan there was, and this year at xmas a relative bought me a Expos hat, I didn't know what to do as I admired the gesture and the fact they knew I was a long time Expo fan, but I refuse to buy anything Expo related...and I read this weekend maybe in the Star how Expo gear is now all the rage...I won't buy any because it is licensed stuff it sickens me to think MLB is making money of them, I refuse to buy but the gift I kept and wear......you also said last week about leagues striking and how tiring it is, and the only way it will change if if fans change...i agree 100% and the Expos fans did, they stayed away in droves after the finest team in baseball was denied it's right to compete the year of the strike in 94...I applaud those fans, as they are the only fans to truly react to a strike...all i can say about junior hockey is some owners are making a crap load of cash off these kids who get a pittance, for instance the London knights a truly successful franchise who get 9,000 a game have to be raking in the cash....there has to be a fund for players for education purposes after the fact...I agree they should get more 100% as well with that...cheers

[Felix]

So last summer I spent 6 weeks coaching sport in Zambia at various schools in the capital of Lusaka. In keeping in touch with them via various social networks, I recently come across a picture of one Jose Calderon at one of the schools! Do you know what is business is down there? Spreading the game? Or does he normally do some outreach thing? Either way, very cool.

Blogger's note: Not sure, could be Right to Play initiative, maybe something with a sponsor

[David]

"And then I think, no, you can’t do that.

Those are, or were, the Expos and I hope they never win a thing."

Doug i love you more than i ever have just for that quote

[m]

Lorie, I believe that fellow is Dick van Patten from Eight is Enough.

[D-Mac Ottawa]

A team of crack researchers, or a crack team of researchers, or, okay, this link, would indicate that the part of the character who looked an awful lot like Mark Spitz was a played by a guy named Mark Spitz: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0556467/
They don't do roasts like they used to, do they? Of course, there aren't many Franks or Dean-os or Johnny Carsons or Jonathan Winters around any more, either, are there? Pity, that. Oh, and that Dean Martin guy could sing a bit, too. Chet Baker, try it like this one time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfAHBVMguDQ
Cheers. Go Chet! Go Joey Bats!

[Lorie]

Thanks, @m! Now, never saw a single episode of Eight is Enough, but I remember enjoying him in this Mel Brooks' flick. Oh, and I think he was in "Robin Hood: Men In Tights", too. Can't recall if he was in "Blazing Saddles" but, based on his desire to work with Mel Brooks, I'll cut him some slack on the kooky coiffure.
http://youtu.be/CHZT8Zv-yU4