It's not the what but the why that's most intriguing

I offer this story not to titillate or to even speak to the stunningly complex issue of escorting or prostitution or the social dilemmas either may cause.

I offer it because at some level it fascinates me.

And it fascinates me because I think, in some way perhaps small, it’s indicative of the issues that plague athletes at the end of their careers.

I will not pass judgement on this woman, I cannot and will not speak to her personal issues or life or what drove her to do what she did, but I wonder what role simply not having athletics played in the decision.

Most – not all, but a lot – of athletes I’ve known miss the simple “rush” they get from competing or living the live of being a professional. Not the coddling or the first-class travel or the adulation as much as the challenge it brings, physically and mentally and the adrenaline that courses through you when you’re preparing for an event and competing in a game or what have you.

It’s why it’s so hard for so many to give it up when the time comes. They like everything about what they do and I think too many, once they leave, find too big a void in their lives.

All of a sudden they have time and no “rush” to keep them up and interested.

I am sure some are bored to some degree and underfoot of family and friends to some degree and the things that got them through the days, challenged, during years of competition are no longer there.

They turn their mental and physical focus to some other endeavour eventually, it’s interesting which way some go.

We’ve heard too many tales about families breaking up post-retirement because of the let-down the comes with not having a routine to follow, or a lifestyle that pushes you mentally and physically every single day.

You wonder where the energy they’ve used to make them among the worlds greatest athletes can be channeled and how frustrating it must be not to have a place to use it.

Again, I don’t think today or here is the time or the place to discuss what she did; the why is quite intriguing to me.

You?

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The Pogues!!!

Christmas!!!

Cool, no?

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Hey!!!!

We’re here?

Whew!

Guess the world didn’t end. That’s good, I think there’s a bit more to accomplish around here.

Hope it’s not just here in Hazelville that we survived and that you’re all okay, too.

You might want to check out our End Of The World blog sometime today, see what’s going on in the rest of the world. If indeed the rest of the world is here.

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Mail?

Since every other question seems to revolve around Kyle Lowry or Andrea Bargnani or Jose Calderon there’s a sameness to the mailbag that I can’t quite handle.

Up to you good folks to make a bit different, please.

Click. Write. Send.

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So I’m on the couch watching the Thunder-Timberwolves game and it hits me like a ton of bricks.

Andrei Kirilenko looks an awful lot like Shaggy of Scoobie Doo fame, doesn’t he?

And speaking of the Thunder, the old Smith Jinx got ‘em again. File a laudatory Nothin’ But Net main piece on them and their 12-game winning streak and how good they’re going and, bam!, not six hours later, they lose.

I have that magic touch, no?

And the quote of the night? Kevin Durant after the loss:

“A lot of people said the world was going to end tomorrow but it’s not the end of the world.”

Gold!

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Raptors?

A day off, which was nice of them because I didn’t have wander downtown and could have a Mighty Red Tigers coaches holiday meeting.

But they do have a rather big week coming since the turnaround began – Orlando twice, San Antonio and New Orleans – and I refuse to say any game is a must-win or a should-win but you know they’re looking at three of four, at least.

That’s what confidence does to you.

(Speaking of, my man Josh Robbins reports there’ll be no Glen Davis tonight in this Orlando Sentinel missive)

The Raptors off-day Thursday was just part of a rather relaxing week, as a matter of fact. They’ll play tonight, work early and quickly tomorrow so everyone who wants to can flee the city to see family for Christmas and reconvene in San Antonio for a night practice on Dec. 25.

And that’ll leave us to our usual job on the post-Christmas, post-all star nights: Finding out which one of them had “travel problems” and couldn’t get back.

Always a fun game to play.

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Yeah, I’m sooooo likely to get up in the middle of the night to watch junior pucks.

That’s about the only good part of having to travel on Christmas and be away the week in between; one is not inundated with the breathless reports about teenage hockey in what’s legitimately a four- or maybe five-team tournament.

And, trust me, Canadians are alone in their love for this event; it draws flies around the globe and having been in the United States countless times at this point in the year, I can tell you that you cannot find stuff on the tournament with a search warrant.

But if you like it, you like it; just don’t think that everyone does.

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Yes, we are here with the final pre-Christmas IGBT tonight about 7; come one, come all. It’s a fun way to spend a Friday night if there aren’t any holiday party plans.

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Comments

[Canadian Paul]

Hi Doug. Regarding the junior pucks. I find it amusing how TSN just throws down our throats with minute-by-minute updates on who got cut, 1-hour long round tables of 4-line compositions and defensive pairings, etc. I'm pretty sure someone is watching, but do you think that this is more the media dictating what is prime-time and what is not or the masses asking for it?

None of my friends in the GTA give a fly, but there must be numbers from the other provinces, No?

[coachd]

Hi Doug,
Interesting story today about what to do with the rest of your life. All of us will someday have to deal with a similar issue. What to do after retirement? I've always told my kids that, "Today isn't the best day of your life, tomorrow will be.Appreciate what you've done in the past, but look forward to the future even more." It probably sounds corny to some, but you won't find me wearing my, now , very undersized high school basketball jersey trying to relive some past glory :)

[doug]

it was interesting the whole escort thing...again what she chooses to do in her life is her business and not for me to pass judgement on..but I think you are right as the adulation of the spotlight that athletes are in then bam it is gone has to leave a major void...she said she was depressed and looking for something and in that profession she found positive reinforcement, a sense of being and self-worth......too many times people /fans put athletes on pedestals there just like you and I in the sense they have insecurities, doubts and weaknesses which are only magnified that much more when their careers are over...so I hope people don't judge or mock her or she becomes part of late night comedy routines as it is what it is, and none of our business quite frankly,....ok cheers...

[511]

The 'why' is interesting but the 'what' gets the clicks. Which isn't atypical, naturally enough. But as to 'why', I would guess that the possible reasons are just what we might imagine. Plain old sexual appetite (including some or all of attitude/lifestyle/what-turns-her-and-her-spouse-on) might be at the base of it all, but that in itself would likely be fuelled or affected by whatever issues are harboured deep within … which would also bring us to the depression angle that she has spoken of.

The adrenaline thing that you've contemplated would likely be an ingredient (very likely, I'd guess) and that aspect of it is also worthy of chapters of discussion for those who study and explore the subject (which is, it goes without saying, a big one).

Our interest in wanting details is fascinating to contemplate in itself, not because we're all depraved and only too happy to delve into misery that is not our own, but because, we're all much more alike than we are different. So while we may not understand what the 'why' is, whatever it is, feels not all that far away from being totally understood. As I suspect, anyway.

[Ewandro]

Hi Doug

Nice point about the interest of the rest of the world on the tenn pucks.
For my surprise, when I went to Brasil (with S hehehe) last September, I found some people madly in love with the pucks.
I had to meet them to understand the "why" ... After a few seconds the answer came and it was so clear. They are part of the same "big brains" gang who loves UFC and similar things.

BTW, "little baby" (Barea) was on fire yesterday.

Cheers

[hosni]

http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/46017/the-toronto-raptors-peyton-manning-jose-calderon

Some love for Jose over on Grantland, with a great highlight video.

[Johnnyc]

Ramones.....Kinks.....Poques.....quite the ecletic group from the usual Christmas fare..... Well done..... Great choices......"Please Sir, I want some more"!!!

Blogger's note: There are many days left until we're done

[Mike D.]

@coachd is right on the money. I've seen relatives and former colleagues struggle with withdrawal from the work force for reasons very similar to the ones Doug describes: they go from a challenging, intellectually stimulating job involving long hours to a complete stop. And it's probably made worse by the realization that in the meantime their families have moulded their own lives, so THEIR worlds continue to turn.

[joeu]

Good morning Doug, interesting take on the retired athlete story; it leads me to recall a column that Chris Schultz once wrote about retiring from professional football. He made the point that there are no full-contact rec leagues - once you decide to leave the sport, it's pretty much a complete divorce, and one that severs a lot of personal relationships, as well as your playing career.

[Colin K]

Hi Doug. We survived the rapture. Now we need to survive the Raptors.

http://www.endofworld.net/

Thought this was topical and appropriate. If you haven't seen it, you should. hilarious.

[Geoff Read]

Dude - nice work with the Pogues. I almost suggested this in my post yesterday because it seemed in keeping with your punk-flavoured rock theme.

On Suzy Favor Hamilton I agree with your take. I might go even further and say that, actually, not only would I not judge her I don't think there's anything to judge.

I liked your reflections on the struggles of athletes after their careers. In that vein, I've always thought Tennyson put it best, reflecting on the bitterness of knowing that your glory days are behind you in "Ulysses":

Yet all experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untravelled world, whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!

[David in Oakville]

Good Morning Doug,

It is a fascinating story but I have to admit my first response to the "why" was.. she makes her normal home in Wisconsin.

But it is not all that surprising. Many "high flyers" lead double lives, most not so secret. Gambling and addiction issues are well documented amongst athletes and entertainers and most struggle with the end of their careers.

And to be fair, "double lives" are not just the domain of these people. Many people lead a "double life" online, doing and writing things anonymously that others who know them might find out of character. Look at the popularity of role playing games like World of Warcraft and sites like SecondLife.

Speaking of secret double lives, I have always thought with the amount of travel you do within North America you would be a good candidate for an industrial spy for the Chinese Government Smith xiānshēng?

Blogger's note: Does espionage pay well?

[Vincent Lam]

There's news that a reindeer walked into the Toronto Star and pooped in the newsroom. Is this true Doug? It sounds like a headline from the Onion.

Blogger's note: Oh yeah; happened for sure. Those zany kids were up to hijinks
http://www.poynter.org/latest-news/mediawire/198935/reindeer-terrorizes-toronto-star-offices/

[DaveB]

When i read her story I get hung up on the postpartum depression angle and wonder what affect this will have on her daughter. I understand postpartum depression is a real disease, but I don't think it need to be publicized as a cause of doing unusual things. It is almost putting the blame on the child.

Apart from that, I think that the withdrawal from the limelight may be a big part of it. She was not only a prostitute, she was also a Real Estate agent. :-)

[Andrew Potter]

Before I logged in today I was really hoping you wouldn't touch the escort story. Frankly, I didn't find that the original Star story brought any insight at all, being the sensationalist fodder of the tabloid pages. To me, there was nothing that made this story relevant to sports, other than the subject having once maintained a career in athletics.

A more accurate title might have read "Real Estate Agent becomes Vegas Call Girl." (And how about the 'politics of language' with that one? Call 'GIRL'; of course, this story wouldn't even be a blip on our news cycles' collective radar if the subject hadn't been a woman, and an attractive one at that.)

I do however respect that you have tried to bring this story into a grander scope, something the original article sorely missed. It's too easy to prey on the readership's sexual fantasies ("Oh wow, I too can sleep with an Olympic athlete!") without really touching on why any of this matters in our daily lives or in how we understand our sporting culture. What you've done by bringing real depth to the story is once again hammered home the point we've heard hundreds of times from the professional men's side - See: Antoine Walker; Vince Young, Mike Tyson, Scottie Pippen - but never really explored in the amateur side a length, especially in regards to our female athletes: what happens when the curtain finally closes at age 35 and the 'real world' begins?

Anyways, thanks for providing an intellectual brunch this morning. As always, thanks for what you do.

Cheers!

[Wilber]

Any Raptors travelling further afield? I remember Barbosa made a quick trip south one time. JV & Linas splitting the cost of a quick charter to Vilnius? Maybe stopovers in Rome and Madrid to defray costs?

Blogger's note: Nothing special that I'm aware of

[Steven]

Yesterday, TSN radio played the Sweden-USA exhibition game live in the middle of the afternoon. Forget about those abusive readers of this blog; I propose that you ban anyone who actually listened to that game from ever making a comment here again. I was thinking the Mayans are right.. coverage of that game indicated the end of the world. :)

[D-Mac Ottawa]

Wow, they're now delivering the reindeer games directly to you, Doug? We may have dodged a Mayan bullet today, but clearly the end is nigh. What's next? A Bieber caroling concert on your doorstep while Psy goes all gangnam style in your back yard?
A double egg nog to ye, and thanks for this fine blog you've got going here.
Cheers. Go Raps! Go Pamplamoose-tic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNBUaw2RT4A

[LorenintheWoods]

Hey Doug -
some positive news on Andrea! By some advanced metrics, he's leading the league in MVP ranking by a large margin - interesting read:

http://wagesofwins.com/2012/12/20/the-mvp-race-part-2-depth-charts-least-valuable-players-and-the-sunk-cost-fallacy/

I hope I didn't get MVP and LVP confused here..

[bob]

World Juniors isn't big in the states, because hockey isn't big in the states. Doesn't mean it's insignificant. High school football is massive in the states, yet i don't know anybody anywhere else who cares about high school football, so what's your point? NFL is religion in the states, a game played only by americans and only in america, so again, who cares what US sports fans prefer? Are they the dictators of which sporting events matter and which don't?

The tournament does matter a lot to many of the European countries. Ever seen Latvian hockey fans at any international tournament? They are amazing. Best sports fans of any country for any sport i've ever seen in my life. Think Lithuanian basketball fans, then mulitply it by about 100...

[uncalum]

If I'm allowed to contribute just one to the holiday songs: the man, the myths, the legend. Also, he celebrated his 69th birthday this week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym62kKIydo8

[Peter]

How much would we have to raise, (and for which charity) for you to shave The Star logo into the back of your head?

:)

Blogger's note: That would have to be at least six figures, maybe seven.

[Peter]

Where would you like to place the decimal point in those figures? :)

Blogger's note: After the six or seven, of course

[deaner]

This is a big game for JV with Davis out. This is also a big game in terms of Dwayne growing as a coach. There will be next to nobody to man the paint for Orlando, and Amir, JV and Ed Davis should all shine tonight, Is this finally the night we see the pick and roll or screen and roll used in heavy doses with JV? Poor kid, rolls hard 20-30 times a game, and gets the ball 4 or 5 times. Must be frustrating as heck.

[james]

Deaner: "This is a big game for JV with Davis out....There will be next to nobody to man the paint for Orlando".
It sound like this is a big game for Andrew Nicholson.
Thanks for today's thought provoking lead item. Many people long for another life, or a double life. Not many actually make it real. Not a seasonal favourite but it reminds me a bit of this:

http://www.google.ca/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=talking+heads+once+in+a+lifetime&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&redir_esc=&ei=E-rUUPD4NIa-igLw84HYBA