Cheating liars and a couple of KO moments

I cannot for the life of me think of something that I care less about than what Lance Armstrong told Oprah about the decades he spent cheating and lying about drug use in his pursuit of cycling excellence.

Yawn.

Trust me, whatever he says will have been so spun by some of the great media relations crisis management people that it will be milquetoast and cliché, I’m sure. There will be key phrases and talking points and it will be all rehearsed to the point of being theatre.

But that’s not even the biggest point, although it’s one everyone should remember.

What irks me is the phoniness of the whole process and how this smacks of some plea for forgiveness or understanding that comes about five years too late and after Armstrong was almost diabolical in his determination to ruin those who dared speak against while he was perpetuating the fraud that he won those races on the strength of his own abilities and not after blood doping or HGH taking or whatever he did.

Look, that a cyclist cheated ranks right up there on the news scale with Sun Rises In East. Heck, Armstrong cheated to win; I would think there are those who cheated as much in order to finish in the top 10 of some races. It was, and probably still is, part and parcel of the upper echelon of the sport and even casual had to realize it back then.

No, it’s the way he’s handled himself when accused up until this time that people need to remember. He was a bitter, vindictive liar and a cheat and you cannot justify those actions in the light of the original transgression.

Yes, he helped raise a lot of money for cancer research and that is admirable. He also raised a lot of money for himself, don’t forget that. And he took a lot of money out of the pockets of people he tried to ruin.

Armstrong was, and is, a liar and cheat who did some good because he was a liar and a cheat.

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Not entirely sure this is a reassuring, or a good thing.

We’re at our gate for the flight to LaGuardia, which went entirely smoothly in a stunning turn of events, and at the next gate over, there’s a flight supposed to leave about the same time as us to Newark.

Dude comes on the microphone about 45 minutes to departure time and he says, and I’m paraphrasing:

“We’re going to have a mechanical delay, two of the tires on the plane need replacing. It’ll be about half an hour.”

Not 10 minutes later, same guy on the mic again and he says, and I’m paraphrasing:

“Well, folks, turns out the mechanical issue wasn’t an issue, we’re going to start boarding now.”

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Don’t know why I know this but I’m in Brooklyn and I remember Norah Jones is from Brooklyn and I could listen to that woman sing every day for the rest of my life.

Am I right?

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The Raptors?

Well, they have a bit of regrouping to do after the defensive failings of the other day against Milwaukee and it’s tough week with a road game here, back-to-back at home, at Philly and then the Lakers.

But there are going to be tough weeks and they have to hope some of the habits – the good habits – they picked up in the last 14 games (10-4) will stick around. I imagine they will but the effort is going to have to be even greater now that the level of competition is turned up a bit.

Oh, and the only news out of yesterday was that Amir Johnson took part in most of practice, Jose Calderon went through it all and Kyle Lowry was excused to attend a funeral.

Full expect they’ll all be available this evening; and yes, we’ll be here at 7:30 p.m. or so for the traditional IGBT.

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The things you rarely see.

We round this corner in the cab about a block from the hotel and what do my eyes spy?

A woman using a payphone.

I don’t (a) believe payphones work any more; and (b) how much money would you have to put in anyway? They’re not still a dime, are they?

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Now, this is utterly ridiculous.

Did you see the story that the latest suggested name for a new CFL team up in Ottawa is the Red Blacks?

Yeah, Ottawa Red Blacks.

I cannot fathom what that means and whoever dreamed it up should consider another line of work.

Me? I’d go with Pelicans.

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I see KO’s out as coach at USC, fired mid-season and read this LA Time story and you can figure out why.

This might be the best quote of the piece, from one of his players, J.T. Terrell.

“KO, any day of the week, is just priceless. You never know what you're going to get.”

I’m trying to think of the best KO story from his tumultuous season in Toronto and I’ve got two.

First, it’s Halloween and they are opening the season at home. One of the TV guys – I honestly don’t recall who it was – is doing one of those cute stories where he tries to capture memories of youth. He asks KO: “What’s your favourite Halloween memory” or something weak like that.

KO swears – probably not even under his breath – and as he walks away, he says:

“Will the ridiculousness never end?”

And, this one’s not bad.

The story gets out about him breaking the lamp in Phoenix (“If you found out Jalen Rose broke his hand, you’d break a lamp, too,” he said) and how his life is maybe out of control a bit and that his bosses might not appreciate his lifestyle.

(Think Brian Burke squared, or trebled, or quadrupled; KO wouldn’t have last 10 days under this regime).

Anyway, we’re in New York the day the story comes out and me and Stumpy have to drag our sorry butts to shootaround to get his reaction and it’s New York so there are about a billion people in the Garden.

He goes through the lamp stuff and finally someone says something like: “Hey, Kevin. There’s a suggestion that perhaps your lifestyle and drinking are a bit of an issue, too. Do you have anything to say to that?”

KO, who absolutely enjoyed a cocktail after every game but I never saw him do anything untoward on a game day or before a practice, bristles. Really bristles.

The words may not be exact but he says:

“Look. I go out. The only time I was ever drunk on the road was in Seattle. A night before a game. With you, Doug!”

You can’t imagine how small I felt; and, yes, we did have a Metropolitan Grill dinner that dragged on and on.

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Comments

[Ewandro]

Morning Doug

Norah Jones, you are damn right!

Have a good trip!

[Peter]

... and that's when Doug decided, KO has got to go!

So it WAS your fault! :)

[sb]

Some days I speed read through the blog, others I can take a bit more of my time with it.

Today was one of the latter and when I arrived at today's musical selection I pressed play, watched the first verse and then read on.

The song ended just as I got to the end of the blog. Very nice accompaniment, particularly as I smiled through the KO stories (which, let's be honest, NEVER get old do they?).

So, it gets me thinking - on days when you have one at hand - you should *start* each blog post with the day's musical offering. It could give us the option of a "bit more of Doug" as we read your words. Those who don't want to listen, they can always skip past.

"Today's words are brought to you by..."

I know I know...perhaps it makes secondary the notion of "Sports Blog" but it's been a while since it was ONLY that anyway.

Just a thought.

Safe trip home tonight. Hopefully see you online tonight for the IGBT.

[Sean]

Hey Doug:

I know I will (or should be) smacked in the head for this, but hasn't everyone thought for at least a fleeting moment about a possible link between PED and cancer, when you hear Lance Armstrong's story?

[John]

Hey Doug,

I don't believe that Lance Armstrong's foundation raises money for cancer research, but rather for cancer awareness. This is a fact that is often missunderstood.

Here's an excellent article that details this further: http://www.outsideonline.com/outdoor-adventure/athletes/lance-armstrong/Its-Not-About-the-Lab-Rats.html?page=all

[Heath]

Wilbon went off about KO last night on PTI. Was there something else behind his rant that you're aware of, or was it just years of collective frustration?

Blogger's note: Didn't see it so can't say for sure

[Tim H.]

Seriously, Doug - you have to write a book! Your KO anecdotes today, and the various other stories you've posted in the blog over the years would be a fabulous read! I buy it the minute it came out!

[AT]

@Tim H--- said exactly what I was going to say....Doug, any plans in the works to write a book for the 20 year anniversary??...

Blogger's note: Can't really say; that would be the timing, though

[SR]

Morning Doug, I keep hearing that the fan 590 will be carrying the Leaves games this season. Any idea what's going to happen on nights when both the Leaves and the Raps are playing? I can take a guess as to which one is going to get knocked off to a station no ones heard of.

Blogger's note: Don't know for sure but you're probably right, it happens with the baseball

[Dallas]

Good Call on Nora Jones, Doug.

Between that, the Wu, and the usual gems you post, you've got some good musical taste, imo.

BTW, how do you regard, "the Band" they were 4/5ths Canadians, save for Levon Helm. Imo, one of the greatest groups ever. Immortalized in The Last Waltz. I feel they should be more celebrated, especially in Canada.

Dallas

Blogger's note: Agree

[joeu]

Absolute thumbs up on Norah Jones - a wonderful voice, and a terrific songwriter.

[john]

BTW, in Australia to call someone a Pelican means they are an idiot.... ie. 'you stupid #*%^!*$%& Pelican' which for some reason I always found amusing when I heard it said with the accent.

[Jerry]

Red Blacks? racially insensitive, or just plain racist?

Blogger's note: How about just plain ridiculous

[Rob.V]

Sheepishly in Seattle!
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I don't think you've ever told that KO story before. Classic!!!
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Pelicans would be a great name for the Ottawa football team, as would Roughriders!... just something really snappy about Roughriders isn't there?
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Lance Armstrong, Bonds, Clemens, Sosa. This list is somewhat outdated. All of these cats will have to be inducted here as well however there are a few interesting names here that you may have forgotten about like Tanya Harding. Remember that one? http://amog.com/lifestyle/murderers-cheaters-scandals/

[Geoff Read]

YESSS! Couldn't agree more with everything you say about Lance Armstrong. Like I said the other day in the comments: WHO CARES??? You are so right with your comment about the phoniness of the entire thing being just too much to stomach. You know Oprah's going to look deep and soul-searchingly into his eyes, and he's going to tear up. It makes me want to retch.

I love Norah Jones' voice - very smooth, very sexy. And her first album, from which the track you chose was taken, is great. After that I feel like her recording career's been a bit of a disappointment to be honest. I think of her as an artist who hasn't realized her potential. I feel the same way about Joss Stone. I know they'll both be crushed by this news.

[Tim H.]

Just a head's up to all the Irregulars (and other interested parties): The Other Dream Team is indeed available on the iTunes Store as of today - $24.99 to buy, $5.99 to rent.

[Lorie]

Morning, Doug:
Couldn't agree more with your thoughts on Lance Armstrong. Recall following the Tour de France very closely the year one of the daughters was on an educational exchange in France. One stage was travelling very, very close to the city in the Alps where she was staying and she and her French 'family' were going to stand along the route. So, I spent the day of that stage paying extremely close attention to the race. And this happened to be one of the 'Lance years' and it was like watching a PGA event before Tiger was 'dethroned'. There were other racers on the road, but the only one the announcers spoke of, marvelled about and basically cheered for was Lance. And I remember one of those announcers informing us that the 'real reason' Lance was able to execute his almost inhuman feats of performance on the course was because of the size of his heart. Seriously. Guess it was less the size of it and more the hardness of it that ultimately explained so much. And Norah. Sublime. (And, did you know she also trained on the alto sax?) And because it's a beautiful, unusual-for-January, sunny morning here, there's this. But also, just because.
http://youtu.be/ss3148ZXwuc

[Michel G]

"Red Blacks? racially insensitive, or just plain racist?"

It's what the team colours are going to be. No need to look for things that aren't there. It's still a silly name.

http://www.ottawacitizen.com/entertainment/Ottawa+Blacks+could+team+name/7814595/story.html

[Geoff Read]

And "Dallas": The Band is awesome. On my top-five bands/artists of all-time lists. In addition to "The Last Waltz" (which is amazing) you should check out "Festival Express", which has some great Band moments in it as well.

[sam]

Lance's constant denials and threats don't make him a sympathetic figure. Like Roger Clemens, I think he doth protest too much.....
I'm not certain he can rehabilitate his image.

[Mike D.]

I think the Ottawa Diplomats would be a really catchy name. If their offensive line were great pass-blockers you could say the QB had diplomatic immunity.

Doug, the whole pay phone thing you observed sounds very suspicious. Did you watch her a little longer to see whether the alleged payphone suddenly transported her down into the headquarters of some super-secret organization?

[james]

Having addressed the issue of a nickname for the Ottawa football club before, I don't want to repeat myself. Rather, I will revert to my 10-year-old self (who lived in Ottawa and loved the Rough Riders) to say they should just tell the sodbusters where they can cram their objections and adopt the name anyway. Alternatively, the name should go to the city that's won the most Grey Cups. As long as the owner of the Lions/Argos is okay with it . . .
And by the way, Kevin O'Neill might be perfect as the new team's GM. From your experience in Seattle, could you tell whether he knows anything about football?

[Geoff Read]

Red Blacks is a terrible name. I think they should return to "The Ottawa Roughriders." I loved the fact that there was an 8-team league with two teams named the Roughriders. It was very precious.

Ah, the CFL. I love it but I also laugh at it.

[Nick M]

@Michel G, thanks for the 'Red-Blacks' CFL name origin research...But the originality of the name is not enough reason for me to switch my allegiance...Go Hamilton Yellow-Blacks!

Blogger's note: What of my Toronto Blue-Blue?

[Phil A]

How about the Ottawa Capitals?